It's Obvious/I'm Alone

[Princess Arabia]

7 hours ago, OBEler said:

@Princess Arabia what was the cause to see this way you see? 

Is it existential Terror? Where is Love? 

Just a feeling

[tuku747]

Reality is Unity, but "it" doesn't mind, it's Infinite within Itself. There are billions of humans, though. Humanity as a collective feels quite alone right now, a cry out into the void. Together, We Are All ONE.

Edited October 20, 2023 by tuku747

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

46 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Update: So this is how I'm feeling this morning. I'm back to my normal self. I'm not feeling any different than I use to feel except there is a feeling i can't describe that's present. Last night when I was writing my initial post or I should say afterwards, I felt trapped. Trapped in a body. Kinda confused. I kept on crying and talking to myself out loud. It seemed every sentence I made wasn't making any sense. They were normal sentences but had no meaning, Every time I tried to make sense of what I was saying, it seemed to not be what I was feeling. Example, can't remember much of the sentences but I think they were like, "it's so obvious, I'm doing all this, it's so obvious all others are me, but then I couldn't understand what that meant because I kept feeling as if there was no me saying these things, but in a sense there still was a me. 

Then I kept wanting to get out of this body, and then I i kept saying what body, then I felt I was trapped inside of something, I kept crying (not hysterically but sobbing profusely), I couldn't even relate to myself anymore as if everything I said, that wasn't it. The only thing i really remember saying continuously was "it's a feeling, it's a feeling, it's a feeling. Then I tried to make sense of the feeling, but I couldn't. Not that I was trying to describe to myself HOW I was feeling, but just saying, "it's a feeling". I wanted to get out the body, not forcibly, but I felt the feeling i was feeling was trapped and needed to go somewhere. I can't really explain it. 

Before all this something inside of me felt dead as if there was no me but there was still a me, both at the same time. I couldn't make sense of it. Also, it was like my past experiences kept flashing back to me, the mind kept remembering past stuff I did and went through. That only lasted for a short while. Then I kept saying things again and couldn't relate to where they were coming from, meaning they just sounded like words, even though they were legitimate sentences I couldn't relate to them, then I kept saying it's a feeling, it's a feeling. I couldn't relate to anything else but that phrase. 

The whole time this was going on, I knew I was all alone, not as in the only one in existence, but more like I was trying to pretend there was an existence. Like there was nothing or anybody here not even me but I was trying to make sense of stuff because there was really nothing or no one here but I didn't want to acknowledge it (not believe it) kind of like a denial. This was not a conscious thing at the time, I'm just remembering the feeling i had and now I'm writing this and kind of remembering what that feeling was. It was very subtle. 

Anyway, It calmed down with me realizing I was stuck in this body and there was nothing more to do but go to sleep and i slept like a baby and woke up feeling normal again, only with less mind chatter and a sense of peace. Which kind of wore off as the morning progressed. The few videos that came up on my YT feed this morning that I never saw before were in the realm of what I went through last nigh and even an email from Sunny Sharma whom I'm subscribed to was about nit letting the mind taking credit for Spiritual Growth and to remain humble despite new developments and insights and so on. Like me sending a message to myself. But then again, that could also be the mind taking credit for that. So I'm just back to normal but just with a little more sense of peace.

Can you tell what triggered this?

Gotta say, this reads like an LSD/mushroom trip report. In case you didn't take anything... congratulations, looks like you got a psychedelic mindfuck experience for free.

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Bazooka Jesus

[Princess Arabia]

37 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Can you tell what triggered this?

Gotta say, this reads like an LSD/mushroom trip report. In case you didn't take anything... congratulations, looks like you got a psychedelic mindfuck experience for free.

 

Lol. I was drinking wine. I was out and when I got home that's when it all happened. I wasn't drunk, as you can tell from the way I wrote, and I've drunk wine many times. Last night was just a very different feeling I had and I couldn't relate to it much. The feeling i had was indescribable and I wasn't even trying to describe it then, just experience it.

Something weird happened the night before too. I turned to my cat and out the blue I started to sing Robin Thicke's "Lost Without You" song to her. Two minutes or so later, I reached for my phone and tuned into Pandora. Guess what song was playing. Yep, you guessed it. Lost Without You. I Didn't try to interpret it though, just shook my head in awe and left it at that. The moon is getting full. Weird shit has just been happening lately, but it's all good. No interpretations needed.

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Lol. I was drinking wine. I was out and when I got home that's when it all happened.

Mmmm, I see. Ever since I started doing psychedelics (haven't touched anything during these past two years though... plain old sober reality is trippy enough for me at this point), alcohol can definitely put me into a borderline psychedelic state. Maybe it has always been this way and I just didn't have a reference for it before, who knows?

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

The feeling i had was indescribable and I wasn't even trying to describe it then, just experience it.

Well, that's how you're supposed to live life, isn't it? Coming up with descriptions can be fun, but there is always the danger that you'll mistake your mental description with the real thing... which is the mother of all vices.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Something weird happened the night before too. I turned to my cat and out the blue I started to sing Robin Thicke's "Lost Without You" song to her. Two minutes or so later, I reached for my phone and tuned into Pandora. Guess what song was playing. Yep, you guessed it. Lost Without You. I Didn't try to interpret it though, just shook my head in awe and left it at that. The moon is getting full. Weird shit has just been happening lately, but it's all good. No interpretations needed.

Heh. Yeah, weird things can start to happen when you go down the spiritual rabbit hole.

Once during the height of my psychedelic explorations I had a strange clairvoyance experience which I later wrote about in the forum. Hmm, let me see where I left it... aaaah yes, here it is:

What can I say, reality is one weird fun house.

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Bazooka Jesus

[Princess Arabia]

4 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Mmmm, I see. Ever since I started doing psychedelics (haven't touched anything during these past two years though... plain old sober reality is trippy enough for me at this point), alcohol can definitely put me into a borderline psychedelic state. Maybe it has always been this way and I just didn't have a reference for it before, who knows?

Well, that's how you're supposed to live life, isn't it? Coming up with descriptions can be fun, but there is always the danger that you'll mistake your mental description with the real thing... which is the mother of all vices.

Heh. Yeah, weird things can start to happen when you go down the spiritual rabbit hole.

Once during the height of my psychedelic explorations I had a strange clairvoyance experience which I later wrote about in the forum. Hmm, let me see where I left it... aaaah yes, here it is:

What can I say, reality is one weird fun house.

 

Interesting story of the flatmate. Somehow I think it's because Creation is finished and we're just going through the timeliness in a linear fashion.....forever.

[AerisVahnEphelia]

13 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Yes, is pretty crazy. You will need to some time to process it. 

Once your mind settles you'll see you being alone is not something bad at all, but rather the only option Love was possible. 

Signed,

You.

 

process what exactly ? can you tell us ?

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Somehow I think it's because Creation is finished and we're just going through the timeliness in a linear fashion.....forever.

Heh, there you go again with your shroom thoughts. Are you sure that your morning coffee isn't spiked with a dash of magic powder?

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

Heh, there you go again with your shroom thoughts. Are you sure that your morning coffee isn't spiked with a dash of magic powder?

Mushroom burger coffee soup powder..hehe

[Hojo]

@AerisVahnEphelia that you are the only being in existence it is hard to process

Edited October 20, 2023 by Hojo

[AerisVahnEphelia]

@Hojo that also is a thought.

maybe it relate to a very real thing, who knows . .

[Francis777]

@Princess Arabia

I think one of the biggest parts of accepting this realisation is first burning through all your lower karma for the need and desire for the illusion, if you try to surrender it too fast it could cause you some trouble, such as madness (not saying that's how your feeling). But I think a lot of people on this forum try to power through this mountain too quick and it has the adverse effect. 

The quality of your integration of this has almost everything to do with how much you still crave the illusion/stability of separateness. 

You have to not care whether its true or not, and it takes a lot of fulfilled living before that can happen.

Edited October 20, 2023 by Francis777

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Francis777 said:

it takes a lot of fulfilled living before that can happen.

All you're saying I've realized and I've somewhat burnt through the lower karma, so to speak, but there's no such thing as fulfilled living. That's the illusion because we're already fulfilled. That's the realization. I don't really see anything to burn, so I take back my burning through Karma statement. I just see it as experiencing, experiencing happening. Even that is saying too much. 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Razard86]

16 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Sob, Sob. I'm not going crazy but it's obvious I'm all there is and I'm doing all this. I'm crying now because I'm seeing how it's all me. I'm writing this only to not go mad and to keep the shit going. I need to. Or else i will go mad. I wish I never read  some of the shit i read. I wish I never experienced some of the shit i experienced. It's obvious I've never done anything in my life. It's obvious there is no me. It's obvious I'm fish in water. It's obvious I know nothing, 

It's obvious I'm trying to articulate my message with precision, so I can feel like I'm writing to someone to read. It's obvious I'm doing all this and I'm not. It' so fucking obvious. 

You will comment and you will ask if I'm ok but it's so obvious.

P.S. I just need time to process or not process this, so ill pretend as if I'm here or not here and go to sleep and deal with your comments or my own mind later tomorrow. Going to sleep or whatever now. I don't even know what to write. I feel funny writing to myself knowing I'm playing this fucking game with myself. Tomorrow you'all.

^^^This is all normal. It will pass after some recontextualization passes. This lets me know you are definitely doing the work but if you go further you will discover it is the most amazing thing ever. I mean...ITS YOU...there is ONLY YOU. Why wouldn't you love that it is YOU? After you grieve the death of individuality realize all you did is kill the small individuality and expanded it. 

Instead of YOU being a human, YOU has become everything there could ever be. So you just expanded yourself is all. Nothing to worry about. Hopefully you can get to the point that it changes you on a biological level...it'll make sex even better.....just a little treat you discover....

[Princess Arabia]

33 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Certified Jesus moment

Maybe I was missing the bread. Lol

[Princess Arabia]

15 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

.it'll make sex even better.....just a little treat you discover....

This made me chuckle. For now, I'll stick to ice-cream and almond flour brownies. Thank you for the rest of the message.

Edited October 20, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Kuba Powiertowski]

…these obvious things…🫠

[Francis777]

2 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

but there's no such thing as fulfilled living

I understand the non-dual perspective on this. However we live in a world of duality and preference and need. It can be easy to assume that we have no desires for any of this, but the groundedness and extent of this can often be unappreciated.

My point I guess is that, any kind of struggle in regards to this specific matter, is entirely attachment to separateness. And I think surrendering to the mountain of separateness entirely, is like conquering mountain Everest and shouldn't be assumed so easily.

 As such: this may very well be the exact problem instead of another nuanced different problem, its just that its so massive that you haven't realised its effect on you deeply enough yet/ not processed it properly yet.

Ps, I've been drinking a bit, hope this response makes sense in regard to what you directly replied to me.

Edited October 20, 2023 by Francis777

[Princess Arabia]

20 minutes ago, Francis777 said:

I understand the non-dual perspective on this. However we live in a world of duality and preference and need. It can be easy to assume that we have no desires for any of this, but the groundedness and extent of this can often be unappreciated.

My point I guess is that, any kind of struggle in regards to this specific matter, is entirely attachment to separateness. And I think surrendering to the mountain of separateness entirely, is like conquering mountain Everest and shouldn't be assumed so easily.

 As such: this may very well be the exact problem instead of another nuanced different problem, its just that its so massive that you haven't realised its effect on you deeply enough yet/ not processed it properly yet.

Ps, I've been drinking a bit, hope this response makes sense in regard to what you directly replied to me.

Yes, I understand what you're saying. Enjoy your drinks. Don't start sob, sobbing like I did last night. Lol

[Francis777]

5 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Yes, I understand what you're saying. Enjoy your drinks. Don't start sob, sobbing like I did last night. Lol

I'll try not to lol, wherever the river goes it flows aha