Both men and women are full of shit

[EdgeGod900]

Jesus christ, this topic is pure cancer. I chose to ignore it a few days ago, as I was anticipating it to be locked, and now it's at 3 pages lmao. 

[Princess Arabia]

26 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Princess Arabia I know its all about the peoples feelings at the end of the day, but im surprised how many weak positions are claimed in this section and its a norm.

Im sorry you have to deal with this in real life and all you want is to open up and get close to someone but that someone sees you only as a thing to rub on...

I get it, but people are only acting from their level of consciousness and he is trying to survive as his identity as a sex addict. He said so himself that he's a sex addict.. He's unconsciously believing that, so now he is fighting to keep that identity alive. It's energetic. He doesn't realize that all he has to do is to identify as something else, drop that identity and take actions to become a new identity. Now, since the Ego is just constructions, his mind is believing it has to maintain that structure to keep that part of it's identity alive and it will start to believe things that align with that identity.

No sense in knocking someone down because of their ignorance, because now we will perpetrate more ignorant behaviors. I do it too. But I'm seeing through it and working on it. It's a cycle. Understanding is the key and recognizing people are just operating through programming.

Edited October 15, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Salvijus]

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Go tell that to the millions of people who tried to be honest with other people just to get bashed in the face with judgements and criticisms. Losing their jobs spouses and whatever else. Dealing with yourself is quite different than dealing with other humans. Being honest with yourself that you are being dishonest, to me, is a better way to be. Survival is at play here, and to the egoic mind, it is whatever works best, not brutal honesty. When you're unconscious, of course, and living from the egoic mind. God is tricking itself so why wouldn't humans play this game too. Humans are also God. So, you are only tricking yourself into believing honesty is the best way.

It is, in the grand scheme of things but not when dealing with humans. I will guarantee you, that before you live out your entire human life from now, you will find yourself being dishonest with another human, and not just that, you will believe it is the best way under the circumstances. I'm not saying it's not the best way to be or live, I'm saying it won't be the case.

Mmm articulation of what you're trying to express is a bit muddy and hasty and a bit hot/triggered I would say. Makes it hard to follow. But some things I was able to follow.

10 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Go tell that to the millions of people who tried to be honest with other people just to get bashed in the face with judgements and criticisms.

Mhm. I think you could find examples where someone was honest and it inspired in others respect and admiration. Some people value others who are capable of honesty.

 

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Being honest with yourself that you are being dishonest, to me, is a better way to be.

I like this. It's kinda still honesty tho.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

I like this. It's kinda still honesty tho.

Aah, the trickery of the mind. It's honest to be aware that you're being dishonest. It's like saying, I'm aware that i'm stealing so I'm not really stealing. 

Also, i'm not saying that inspiration doesn't come from being honest, I'm saying when dealing with other humans it's not always the best thing because if you're not prepared to deal with the repercussions, it can throw you in a state of confusion and resentful emotions. Discernment is the key here.

[petar8p]

@Princess Arabia Get outta here for your own good 

Unfortunately, you won't enlighten these dudes. And it's true, most men go for sex. 

 

Women selects. Man has to offer. If he doesn't have much to offer, he gets declined.. Up goes the next man.
If man didn't want sex, he wouldn't be so pushed as to bother himself with the approach. If men weren't attracted to your looks, you wouldn't be sexy. If we didn't have thsee games, we wouldn't have simple systems and ways to eliminate what's not valuable etc.

Only a man of sexual abundance can pick his mates and measure women as much as they measure men. Otherwise, he will be a creepy, needy, horny annoying entity that needs to work on himself before he undersstands a few things about attraction and providing value to the opposite gender..

Edited October 15, 2023 by petar8p

[Salvijus]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm saying when dealing with other humans it's not always the best thing because if you're not prepared to deal with the repercussions, it can throw you in a state of confusion and resentful emotions

What about this.

"If one is afraid to be judged and choses to betray her true feelings to conform to others to not be judged. Then that is worse then being judged for being honest."

Edited October 15, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

5 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

What about this.

"If one is afraid to be judged and choses to betray her true feelings to conform to others to not be judged. Then that is worse then being judged for being honest."

Wait that was too confusing.

"If you sacrifice your true feelings and your authentic self because you're afraid to be judged so you seek to fit into an insane world.  Then... what's the point.?"

Maybe that's clearer.

Edited October 15, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

Being honest may get you to be judged. So what? Are you not allowed to be yourself anymore?

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

What about this.

"If one is afraid to be judged and choses to betray her true feelings to conform to others to not be judged. Then that is worse then being judged for being honest."

It's not about conforming to others but more not wanting to go through what it would take to be honest. Not all circumstances are the same and not all repercussions are the same I said discernment is the key. If your life depended on it, you'll see how quick honesty goes out the window in favor of surviving. Please take into consideration all the aspects I'm expressing here. Honesty is always the best policy, but humans are afraid of everything including the choice to be honest in every circumstance.

You might say this is a bad example but here goes. If a woman is confronted by a rapist who says if she's on her period he would leave her alone and not rape her, do you think she's going to say she's not on her period. No, she will say she is, in order to not get raped. Extreme, but I could name thousands of other scenarios where honesty would not be the best policy when dealing with other humans. Other humans is the key here.

[Princess Arabia]

8 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Being honest may get you to be judged. So what? Are you not allowed to be yourself anymore?

You are taking this out of context.

[Salvijus]

9 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

If a woman is confronted by a rapist who says if she's on her period he would leave her alone and not rape her, do you think she's going to say she's not on her period. No, she will say she is, in order to not get raped. Extreme, but I could name thousands of other scenarios where honesty would not be the best policy when dealing with other humans. Other humans is the key here.

Yea I get it. I would do the same.

In my definition of honesty she was still honest. Her honest feeling was to escape. So she followed her honest desire to become free from the situation. And did whatever had to be done.

See what I did there? 

Edited October 15, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

8 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are taking this out of context.

Possible. I'm kinda floating right now not sure what's going on.

[Princess Arabia]

18 minutes ago, petar8p said:

@Princess Arabia Get outta here for your own good 

Unfortunately, you won't enlighten these dudes. And it's true, most men go for sex. 

 

Women selects. Man has to offer. If he doesn't have much to offer, he gets declined.. Up goes the next man.
If man didn't want sex, he wouldn't be so pushed as to bother himself with the approach. If men weren't attracted to your looks, you wouldn't be sexy. If we didn't have thsee games, we wouldn't have simple systems and ways to eliminate what's not valuable etc.

Only a man of sexual abundance can pick his mates and measure women as much as they measure men. Otherwise, he will be a creepy, needy, horny annoying entity that needs to work on himself before he undersstands a few things about attraction and providing value to the opposite gender..

This is what I'm talking about. Men love the challenge. It's how they develop as a species. You're probably thinking no sense in enlightening anyone about this because they won't listen even if it will make it easier to be with women. I don't have all the answers but I can say I've learnt about men from other men. 

It's all about survival. Women are how they are and men are how they are with some variations. Getting to the root of it to try to figure out why, will make you one step in the game instead of demonizing the opposite sex. Things are deeper than they seem and humans like to complicate things. You don't go apply for a job you're not qualified for so why expect women or men to fit into your agenda without putting in the work. Women measure men for a reason, not because they are vain, a lot of it is subconsciously done, likewise men do the same.

Understanding these differences will make your life a lot easier and instead of putting your own limiting beliefs in the picture because of what you have believed to be true, less complications will arise if we just try to understand where these differences lie and how to fit them into our own puzzle.

[Princess Arabia]

5 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Possible. I'm kinda floating right now not sure what's going on.

Lol...be honest....just kidding.

[Princess Arabia]

7 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Yea I get it. I would do the same.

In my definition of honesty she was still honest. Her honest feeling was to escape. So she followed her honest desire to become free from the situation. And did whatever had to be done.

See what I did there? 

You have twisted the term honesty to suit your explanation purposes and that's the irony of what I'm saying. You are making my point even more the more we speak.

[Salvijus]

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You have twisted the term honesty

I didn't do anything that was not allowed. I played a fair game. 

Anyway. People define honesty in many different ways. My definition of honesty was the same from the start: "being true to your feelings" it's a legit definition. Not some twisted corrupt one.

Edited October 15, 2023 by Salvijus

[Leo Gura]

@NoSelfSelf Take it easy on them. Guys here can get demoralized.

[Pav]

7 hours ago, Francis777 said:

its about it being a game, not a transaction. It would get stale so fast if there wasn't this back and forth. Nothing would be satisfying.

If you could only have sex with hookers for the rest of your life and didn't have to charm them at all, you would beg for the chase back, that's where the fun is! besides the sex of course.

I'm not sure I agree about this. We're genetically predisposed to enjoy sex with people we find attractive. I've had sex come to me easily before and it was fucking good. All these games that the average man has to go through is just an annoyance and leads to frustration. Sex with a hooker is very different from having sex with someone who genuinely desires you.

It seems many people want their to be some explanation or meaning for their hardships, but honestly the modern dating environment in the west is very skewed against men. This doesn't make it more worth it, it just sucks, and if we're honest to ourselves I'm sure most of us would want it to be fairer. So many men now days are deprived of sex and intimacy, this is simply a horrible position be in in your life, I wouldn't want this for myself and I wouldn't wish this on anyone. Having gone long period of time deprived of sex to now being able to have sex with more ease and frequency, I can definitively say I much prefer being able to have access to sexual intimacy, I do not want to go back to having it be hard to have sex.

7 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Someone here hahah game is in everything you just use word game to manipulate situations and since you dont have identity,no self worth,dont know your value you would do anything for sex ,so i dont respect you ,you would stab me in a back if you could for a woman,me being humble no you should humble yourself and realize you dont love yourself...

You're reading a bit much into his comments. I don't think we can make such judgements of his character based off of a few forum posts.

6 hours ago, Shawn Philips said:

Game is the coping mechanism of bad genetics. Really good looking people dont need game, even if they were autists would attractive. If not attractive you need social magic skills to be funny and cool at least.

This is true, as much as the people on here don't want to admit it. Girls will make it very easy for handsome guys to have sex with them; women want to have sex with attractive guys, there's no shit tests or games being played with them. Having lost a decent amount of weight recently I can attest that my success with women is drastically different now, it's like being in a completely different reality.

 

6 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Shawn Philips No, cope is that you feel like your appearence has to do with how you feel about yourself, since you have no game ofcourse you would think its outside things but its all internal...

Just not true. The primary factor in determining your attractiveness to women is your looks. Confidence, charisma, energy, and other personality factors play a significant role too, but not as much as your looks. A handsome man will benefit even more from these factors but it's not require for them, all they need to do is act like a normal human being and have enough confidence to physically escalate and they will get sex quite easily. For an average looking man it will be a lot more difficult to have sex, they need to compensate with "game" in order to get laid, and even then they won't get as good results an attractive man. For a very unattractive or obese man no amount of "game" will help them (would you have sex with an obese and unattractive women if they had a great personality? Why are we trying make it out as if women are pure angels who only care about a man's personality?).

6 hours ago, Francis777 said:

no amount of good looks is going to make you a fun person to be around, which is what girls want.

They want to have sex with attractive men. Being fun is great and will help you to socialise, but if they don't find you attractive they still won't want to have sex with you no matter how fun you are. They may use you for entertainment and then go home with someone they are attracted to.

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I don't really believe this, infact, that's not how attraction works. Good looking? Good looking to whom. Put 10 pictures up and you will have different opinions as to who finds who attractive and good looking.

Not true. There will be some variance in how attractive people find a particular person, for example if you take a conventionally attractive man there will be a few women (out of say 100) who will find him unattractive but the overwhelming consensus will be that he is attractive. People are attracted to physically good looking people, there is an abundance of research in the scientific literature supporting this. Why do we have to lie about this simply and obvious fact?

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

An "ugly" (just for communication purposes because I donlt see people as ugly), an ugly person can see themselves as quite attractive and get more dates than someone physically attractive who don't view themselves as that, and that goes for both male and female

Yeah this is bull shit. An ugly person will not magically get amazing results just by lying to themselves about their attractiveness. The fact that you claim to not see people as ugly goes to show how much you lie and deceive yourself. We all (cross-culturally) have a sense of how beautiful someone is. You are not some special pure being who is above this, you're a human. Why lie?

6 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

 but more towards the male side since men usually go for looks first.

Women are just as or probably even more concerned with looks than men. Research shows that when it comes to hook ups women have very high standard for looking when choosing someone to have sex with, whereas men are willing to have sex with women who are less attractive than themselves. When it comes to relationships men will have higher standards for looks than when looking to hook up. Women have a minimum looks threshold which a man must meet in order for her to even consider him a potential partner, this is before he even has a chance to display other personality traits.

Edited October 16, 2023 by Pav

[Princess Arabia]

31 minutes ago, Pav said:

Yeah this is bull shit. An ugly person will not magically get amazing results just by lying to themselves about their attractiveness. The fact that you claim to not see people as ugly goes to show how much you lie and deceive yourself. We all (cross-culturally) have a sense of how beautiful someone is. You are not some special pure being who is above this, you're a human. Why lie?

This just shows your ignorance. I have or am in the process of seeing the beauty of God's creation everywhere, My level of Awareness and States of Consciousness are not the same as they used to be so the lie would be for me to call people ugly. You are calling me out and sound so angry in the process. I don't have to pretend to not see ugliness in people to seem special. I am very open and vocal on this forum and don't have a problem exposing my true feelings about anything. You have never heard me call anyone ugly, except for in the term I used it to make a point so why are you telling me about how I view things. That's limiting because you don't know that, you're assuming. I do not like the word ugly anymore. I didn't say I don't see attractiveness in people, I just don't call people ugly. I never even used to before I became Spiritually inclined that much either. That's it. No more explanation on that.

I've seen men choose females that weren't so attractive over really attractive ones because of their confidence levels and the energy they exude. They thought they were the shit and it showed. I didn't say they were lying to themselves, I said they thought they were attractive, while the so-called attractive one didn't. There is a lot of psychology that goes into attraction. No need to say my opinion is bullshit, it's just an opinion. 

A woman can look at a male and judge parts his personality from that alone, not saying she's right but that's really what she's doing.  She can see through his insecurities or weaknesses just from his body language or even how he dresses,. You hear that on this forum alot also, how women can sense certain things. Men don't usually care about that at first, they usually go for the one they are physically attracted to at first, while the woman is looking for emotional attraction and doing it by how he looks.

Why do you keep using the word lie. People believe different things, studies or not, Sounds like you had someone constantly lie to you and you're projecting that or vice versa. No need to call people liars for their opinions and expressions. 

Edited October 16, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Pav]

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

This just shows your ignorance.

Very pretentious of you.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

I have or am in the process of seeing the beauty of God's creation everywhere, My level of Awareness and States of Consciousness are not the same as they used to be so the lie would be for me to call people ugly.

Good for you. Seeing beauty in an absolute sense is not the same as what we are talking about here when it comes to attraction between the sexes. When it comes to attraction we are judging relative human perception of beauty on the level of the physical. Sex is a very primal thing, not something divine.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

I do not like the word ugly anymore. I didn't say I don't see attractiveness in people, I just don't call people ugly.

It doesn't matter if you don't like the word, you still judge people based on their appearance. To deny this is self deceit.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

I've seen men choose females that weren't so attractive over really attractive ones because of their confidence levels and the energy they exude. They thought they were the shit and it showed. I didn't say they were lying to themselves, I said they thought they were attractive, while the so-called attractive one didn't. There is a lot of psychology that goes into attraction. No need to say my opinion is bullshit, it's just an opinion.

There are exceptions and other factors play a role too, but there is a strong correlation between an individual's physical attractiveness and that of their partner, ie. people usually pair with people who are around the same level of attractiveness as themselves. Appearance is the biggest variable when it comes to dating.

I say it's bull shit because very misleading and will lead men astray, possibly even dangerous. For someone who is very unattractive to approach a girl and just act confident can lead to very negative interactions with him being labeled a creep. Women generally love it when an attractive guy approaches them, but will look at the very unattractive guy with utter disdain and contempt if he does. The average guy will usually get a soft rejection, such as "I have a boy friend", unless he happens to be her type or if be can bring something else to the table such as charisma, "game", or status. It's sad that reality is like this and I would prefer it to be different. Men would be better served by first doing what they can to improve their looks as much as is possible for them.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

A woman can look at a male and judge parts his personality from that alone, not saying she's right but that's really what she's doing.  She can see through his insecurities or weaknesses just from his body language or even how he dresses,. You hear that on this forum alot also, how women can sense certain things. Men don't usually care about that at first, they usually go for the one they are physically attracted to at first, while the woman is looking for emotional attraction and doing it by how he looks.

No they can't, not accurately. It takes time to really know someone, you cannot make an accurate judgement of someone by looking at them. Women do not possess some magical power, they are just human beings. They are making assumptions about their personality (which will usually turn out to be wrong). Women are attracted to physical appearance first, not "emotional attraction", again stop lying to guys about this, you are doing them a great disservice. It is much better that men get accurate information so that they can do what they can to improve their situation.

Have you heard of the halo effect? Women will attribute positive personality characteristics to the conventionally attractive guy, and negative characteristics to the unattractive guy. Looks are one of the primary factors which determines the personality judgements women make.

1 hour ago, Princess Arabia said:

Why do you keep using the word lie. People believe different things, studies or not, Sounds like you had someone constantly lie to you and you're projecting that or vice versa. No need to call people liars for their opinions and expressions. 

Yeah people like you lied when I looked for advice on how to fix my dating situation. Just changing my mindset to see myself as more attractive didn't work. What actually worked was improving my looks. Very big night and day difference in how women (and men too) treat me now as compared to when I was over weight. It's pretty sad that people are so superficial, but that's just how reality is.

We need to start being honest to men about what actually attracts women so that they can take the correct steps to improving their situation. And for those men who are unfortunate to have been born with unchangeable flaws to their appearance, you can at least stop gaslighting them in telling them it's their personality or mindset.

Edited October 16, 2023 by Pav