Letting God Work Itself Through Me

[Leo Gura]

@Gabriel Antonio Awesome work! Keep at walking the path.

[Gabriel Antonio]

http://awarenessact.com/tthe-enneagrams-personality-test-what-does-this-ancient-test-reveal-about-your-true-self/?=ta

above is a very cool personality test. never heard of it, though it is ancient.

@JKG @Dragallur I think you play the role of "peacemaker" when you are talking with people hahaha I do that also "yes... oh... yes! yes! yes!" hahahah...

 

 

 

 

Side note:

Tenacity = having persistence in purpose

Edited December 2, 2017 by Gabriel Antonio

[Gabriel Antonio]

You can’t make more effort to get into the effortless state

 

I got this insight from infinite waters. I don’t if he is the creator of this quote, but, anyway, I have been connecting with his material quite deeply over the past 24 hours. I think I am starting to get him, you know? The insights that he provide are now solified, if you will, in my subconscious mind. I love his definition of the subconscious mind. Subconscious mind = the body. So simple, right? But, for some reason, we do not understand that, and we live as if the subconscious mind is somewhere else.

 

Anyway: I see myself becoming a child-like person in one year from now and also with a good-looking and defined body, but without making any effort, you know? So… I just want to fucking flooooow!

 

Practice doing and speaking the very first thing that comes to mind (no filters allowed :P)

 

This insight I got from Leo. Haha… In the How to Be Funny video. Hahahhaa… I loved that episode! It has helped me a lot deal with my radical seriousness hahaha… So… here is the thing when you are speaking to people or even when you are writing, DO NOT INTERRUPT the flux, okay?

 

Quote

 

Don’t think for more than 3 seconds, or you will completely lose your timing.

 

 

Stop editing your goddamn life!

 

This one I got from infinite waters. Hahaha… He said that in the beginning of his youtube journey, he used to spend hours on end to edit his video to have a peRfect version ahhahaha… So that obviously stressed him out.

 

Right now, he simply practices the one-take. No cuts. I love that mind set. It is hard for a person like me, who has developed so many filters to be accepted by others that I sometimes get completely trapped in the rabbit hole of trying to figure out the figments of someone else’s imagination. (Thanks for that episode, @Leo Gura)

 

So, right now, I am deciding to never break the flux. Yes, I can slow down the pace, the tempo; but NEVER paralyzed. You know? Hahahaha… that sounds a little neurotic, but that’s okay. Maybe I need that. Maybe I need to make a lot of social mistakes. Maybe I need to be a little bit more self-ish. (>> self << ish.)

 

You gotta serve your self first, dude!  

 

God (a.k.a. Nature, Absolute Infinity, The One-in-All/All-in-one) is ALWAYS in control

 

Yes…crazy, huh? God is always in control, whether you want that to be true or not. Hahaha… That’s the gift of giving up control with the Do Nothing technique done 24/7 for 7 days. Dude… I feel so much at peace right now, knowing that deep down, even if I am completely trapped in the 3-D (or 2-D, in the case of the virtual world), but… deep down, there is always a Force governing everything. It is what Adam Smith, the economist, called “The Invisible Hand.”

 

Can’t you see that all paths go to Rome? All fingers go to the palm of your hand? Hahaha… Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING is pointing to the same direction.

 

I am being idealistic here, I think… but fuck it! No matter how disappointed you are with yourself, no matter how disappointed people are with you… God is still in control, dude! God is everything that ever was, ever is, and ever will be. It is the one constant, which is unconstancy itself, impermanence. Maybe God = impermeanence…

 

I give up believing that I have free will

 

Anyway… took ayahuasca curandeira yesterday, and it was freaking AMAZING! I told to my friend: I completely give up the ilusion that I have any control over my life.

 

In Salms 91, it says:

Quote

 

“He who inhabit the secret place of the Greatest,

In the shadow of the Omnipotent will rest.”

[free translation from the Portuguese version) 

 

So… let’s fucking LIVE!

 

 

Btw - I am trying to maintain here on this journal 5 random insights and my mental masturbation about’em.  

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

Day 2/7 - 5 random insights + 10 minutes to write freely about them + post it without editing anything 

 

Just move the ROCK!

So here is the thing: you do not have all the options in the world with some things in life. There is an aspect of life, a very masculine one, that requires tons of courage, you know? Face it even if you are scared, but FACE IT. Just like your inner demons. You cannot slay them. That’s a fucking joke. You just have to look them straight in the eye and give a lill smile.

I got this insight from an freaking awesome cartoon “The Last Airbender.” In the second season, he learns all about the earth element. And this element is stubborn. You cannot trick it. You have to become a fucking rock, ya know?

 

 

No excuses

 

I have learned that the mind is always coming up with excuses as to why what you are doing in the present fucking moment is not good enough, you know? The mind freaking loves that. It is always trying to find a way out of things, to run away from them. Or… on the other extreme hand, you are totally clinging to what you have. Those two are the main cause of suffering. You either want something REALLY bad or you rationalize away on how what you currently have, who you currently are simply isn’t good enough.

 

Quote

 

No situation will ever meet your unrealistic standards. Sorry to break it to you, Inferior Ego. Hahaha.

 

 

 

Confrontation vs Exposure

 

Most of the times we do not need to confront things. We simply have to expose ourselves to the uncomfortable sensations, you know? This is a slight difference. Confrontation is highly masculine. Exposure is sorta feminine, kinda passive in a way. For example, you are talking to a hot girl but you think you are doing horribly because you feel “negative” emotions. If you are able to stay with the emotion, just that: STAY. I don’t think it is a good idea to confront anything. You don’t need that, because that is a neverending hole of “proving yourself.”

 

So… just stay with negative emotions. Don’t have to do anything. Whatever enters your field, you allow it to be. But if you feel you are being disrepected, don’t hesitate to ACT.

 

Quote

 

ACTualized

- Leo 

 

 

The Way to Deal With Fear

 

Well, I have already said that in the last insight, but I feel an urge to repeat. Exposure. That’s the key word you got to embody so that you become antifragile, not so scared out of your mind with life… I don’t know about you, but Fear pretty much runs my life insofar as I do not make peace with it.

Fear is an energy that is necessary for our survival, however, the autonomic nervous system shoots some stupid responses to situations that have no real danger involved. So… we teach our subconscious mind that there is nothing to fear about but fear itself hahaha. Fear is a very strong energy so we have to pay our respects to it, in a way.

 

 

Loneliness is a state of mind  

 

That’s pretty counter-intuitive. You can be in any situation, with the hottest person in the world fucking with you, in the best case-scenario, Tony Robbins-wise lifestyle (hyperactive and success-oriented), well… the thing is you can have everything and still feel lonely.  

 

Quote

So… realize that loneliness is a choice since it is impossible to be alone.

 

Do not interrupt your flux, even if you have to slow down and negotiate a lot with your ego.  

[Gabriel Antonio]

Insights Ayahuasca Trip 12-8-2017

 

1- Me = Me + My Circumstances

 

This insight I actually got from a friend of mine. Nobody has the right to judge me, analyze me, tell stupid shit about me. Why? Because nobody knows MY circumstances. Only I know them. So I am deliberately cutting people off who are projecting their own shit onto me.

 

2- Wanna fucking do something "bad"? DO IT!

 

After the trip was over, I felt like taking some more of ayahuasca. Then, a voiced told me: “NO!!!!! YOU SHOULD NOT TAKE ANYMORE OF AYAHUASCA. DONE!” However, this had a inverse effect. I felt like taking more.

 

When, on the other hand, I told myself: “Dude… if you want to take ayahuasca every single day, just fucking do it and stop complaning about it”. There is a saying here in Brazil: “Make a mistake due to action, not due to omission.” I feel protected as crazy as this may seem, but I know that there is a part of me that does not allow me to dive deep into the negative spiral. So… seriously, if I want to overdo something, I will.

 

And this freedom of allowing yourself to choose whatever your instincts are telling you gives me a reassuring feeling of deep trust in myself because the more I allow myself to do crazy shit, the less I feel like doing them. Haha…

 

3- You are a MIRACLE!

 

You have probably heard this a thousand times, but I cannot stress this enough. You are a fucking miracle, dude! Think about all the variable, all the infinite variables, that had to take place for you to be alive here in the present moment.

You could have been a sperm of your dad jerking off, if he wasn’t fucking your mom hahaha… You were a figment of your dad’s random sperm. And this is just the tip of the iceberg of the Miracle.

The perfect conditions for live on Earth… all the dangerous things you faced during your life… all your stupid classmates that bullied you… you survived dude!

 

“I AM A SURVIVOR!”

 

Btw - I think instead of the default greeting be “Hi” or “Hello”, it should actually be “Congratulations”.

 

You are amazing.

 

4- Stand up for yourself

 

I am not allowing people to talk shit about situations, other people, and ideas.

 

If you don’t like your  country, MOVE!

If you are talking nonsense about the people I like (my friends and family especially) I will not tolerate your bullshit.

If you are a feminazi and you are bulldozing a conversation, I will contradict you.

 

This is a hard thing to do, but it is so worth it when you get the hang of it. To speak your mind without so many filters.

Quote

 

“Speak, even if your voice shakes.”

Ralph Smart

 

 

5- You can’t force relaxation

 

Whenever I take ayahuasca, I feel so fucking awesome in my body that I tell myself, “Dude, I should be feeling like this 24/7.” However, this idea that I have to feel good all the time, the idea that I want to manipulate my body in the present moment to “be in a good position” is a fucking joke!

A true healthy and correct posture is relaxed. You do not have to change much. Just keep in mind that your spine should stay always erect.

So… you cannot force relaxation to happen. It simply happens… You cannot solve stress with more stress.

 

Quote

 

“Hatred never ceases by hatred, but by love alone is healed. This is the eternal and universal law.”

Buddha (on the Dhammapada)

 

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

Maverick

1. A person who shows independence of thought and action, especially by refusing to adhere to the policies of a group to which he or she belongs. [thefreedictionary]

 

2. a lone dissenter, as an intellectual, an artist, or a politician, who takes an independent stand apart from his or her associates:

a modern-dance maverick.

Synonyms: nonconformist, individualist; free thinker; loner, lone wolf.

 

3. person who takes chances, departs from accepted course [thesaurus]

 

[Gabriel Antonio]

[Gabriel Antonio]

https://datingheroes.com/en/attraction/self-amusement-to-attract-women

Awesome article to remind yourself of what it means to self-amuse, a critical still to developing social confidence.

 

Self-amusument > Impressing others

 

Have fun with yourself!! Not that a order would work in that case haha... 

Edited December 14, 2017 by Gabriel Antonio

[Gabriel Antonio]

intentions for this week 

1- activate automatic mode
2- multitask
3- if it's easy to let go, let go. if not, let it be. 
4- focus on projecting the voice correctly
5- preserve your Divinity 
6- You Already Are (God's highest intention) 
7- You = you + your circumstances
8- Decide and don't look back
9- step into radical action
10- I deserve to rest
11- God loves me regardless of what I do or do not do 
12- make lists
13- get things out of your system 
14- purge in however way you can
15- talk to your inner child
16- play mind games
17- ACT your role 
18- laugh at your own devilry
19- share but don't overshare
20- 1-take 

 

so i have decided to set the 1st. intention for this week. i am also going to set a intention for the new moon (the 18th). i am trying not to think a lot before experimenting... just gotta remind myself to seek out help from real, 3-D friends... like the close ones, when I need. when in doubt, go back to your Friends... Hahahaha ideas are limitless... but anyway... why have I chose this intention -- activate automatic mode? 

cause life functions in counterintuitive ways. when I allow myself to accept the shit of what is happening in the moment; things start to change automatically. so... since my goal in life is to reach the Effortless State, i gotta learn how to flow... surf... and not get attached to "negative" results...

i get so lazy due to my overproductive... the idea that i have to be alert and mindful 24/7 is a joke... true presence comes from relaxation not neurosis... and i am on the the neurotic end of the spectrum. not that i am going to seek situations to be lazy, but understand that they are a part of life. there are chapters in this journey that simply not much happens... and i have tried to brute force my way out of depression way too many times. i know that our psyche is not so simplistic. we need darkness. and, well, if during this week i stay like a lazy-twat, well, let it be. but i doubt that will happen. my problem is that i do not accept feeling low on energy, raw. but i got to learn how to embrace those states, instead of running away from them. 

 

Me

       |--------------------------------------------|-------------------x-----------------------|

Laziness (lack of action)            [Sweet Spot]                               Neurosis (excessive action)

 

anyway... i am here despite my neurosis, not because of my neurosis. that is why I am proactively activating the automatic mode so that I don't overuse my energy and allow resignation to prove itself as one of the elements of Love. When i stop trying to figure everything out, things start to flow. So.... 

 

Automatic Mode ON! 

 

 

[random fear: freaking out at my house

hahaha... cause i get so lonely and my mind jumps from thought to thought so quickly that I become unaware of what I am thinking. the thought hasn't even processed, and i am already thinking the next thing. anyway... i have no problem taking refuge, if you will, at my friends' houses. i have made 3 good friends this year, and they are enough to keep me sane, I feel.]

 

[btw - i have been also thinking about my life purpose: 

overcome shyness and help others do the same 

how?

> be a fully embodied transmission of Tranquility 

> 1-take lifestyle 

> antifragility]

[Gabriel Antonio]

Here am I again... lost... Fuck! I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't feel so bitter towards the world, but I am... And it is always like this. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. And sometimes I realize that there is nobody that can help me but myself. Ultimately I have to rescue myself from the abyss. 

I know the type of life my family lives on. Total ego. Survival & reproduction. I get so sick of these petty little things... I mean, sure, I am grateful for being in this Earth and have this human experience, but I would be lying if I told you that I feel good all the time. 

And in fact, I am very neurotic about feeling good ALL the goddamn fucking time. If I am not in ecstasy 24 hours a day, thoughts like "Omg! I must be doing something wrong." start appearing in my head. It is annoying as fuck. 

Not to mention this environment I am in... I mean, sure, I could be practicing bringing forth the opposite vibration of the world around me, but, hey, that is not easy at all. 

Life is uncertain. I can be feeling great today, but tomorrow I can crash... There is no guarantee... so in those cases, I am not afraid of taking refugee with people I trust (no, my mom is not on this list). 

I have always had some complexes with my parents. And this little game I play in my head is annoying... Like... Okay, it was a messed-up situation, I didn't grow up in the best circumstances (they are never good enough)... I mean, I am tired of this whole war inside of me. And I don't care how much Leo preaches to "face your loneliness" and yata yata yata... When I am feeling really bad, there is no other way to feel good again except connecting with people who are also on this path. 

[Gabriel Antonio]

Some interesting definitions of Urban Dictionary

Drama Queen

Someone who turns something unimportant into a major deal. Someone who blows things way out of proportion when ever the chance is given.

"Oh my god! You copied that without giving the other person credit! That is just mean. You're horrible, don't talk to me. I'm gonna go tell everyone what a cruel person you are just so they will pay attention to me and think i'm cool."

 

Savage

1. A savage is some who does not care about the Consequences of his or her actions. Usually the savage will do things that make other people say, "What the fuck are you crazy?" It has been over used to mean other things but this is the original meaning. See balls of steel.
2. A person who dont give a fuck. Who is ruthless in getting what they want.
3. a bad ass mother fucker who did something nobody else had balls to do. [i think i have already posted this definition here on this journal]

[Gabriel Antonio]

Energy must always flow

Simple.

What is better: a flowing river or a obstructed one?

 

Flooooooww................. =================>>>>>>>> 

 

Your story is enough

When you start thrash talking yourself, fucking remember how far you have walked. Everything you have gone through is enough to prove yourself. Just by the fact that you are alive, you are already worthy.

 

If you are shy, take Theater classes

Seriously, that’s so simple… but sometimes we take the harder road. I could have simply started taking theater classes at 12 when I spotted my Social Anxiety. But no… I tried all different paths: NLP, hypnosis, and yata yata… All a WASTE of time! Exposure therapy is very liberating. You do not have to confront anything, you just gotta show up.

 

The Power of Speaking Correctly

If you are like me, you speaking on your throat. And this is FUCKING painful and your voice sounds horribly because of that. Hahaha… If your throat hurts after a while, you probably got a tensed soft palate.

 

Go All The Way Through

That’s one take-away from the “Tony Robbins” video from last week. (Hahahaha)... The problem is not that you are depressed; the problem is that you are not depressed enough. To complete the fucking cycle! But it is hard…

[Gabriel Antonio]

I think I have figured two of my values thanks to a conversation I today with @JKG

1. Radical Honesty

2. Shit, I forgot the second one. 

 

Edit

just remembered: 

- Desensibilization 

Edited December 21, 2017 by Gabriel Antonio

[Gabriel Antonio]

5 Insights I Have Had

 

- The mind, when untrained, is extremely LAZY

 

Thinking is great. As Leo said in one of his newest videos, people totally underestimate the power of visualizing your future in detail. This is an extremely useful skill for building your future. However… somewhere along the line, maybe our parents, maybe our school, IDK, implented the following belief to your web of beliefs:

 

Thinking is boring.

 

NO! Nothing could be farther from the truth. Visualization is like a muscle. Your mind in itself is like a muscle. If you do not train it, my friend, it will fucking ROTTEN.

 

So… a practical thing you implement to your life in the future is: visualization. Seriously, the brain does not know the difference. You are able to get reality-like visualization. Ain’t that something worth pursuing?

 

- When you are truly aligned with your Life Purpose, you will get TONS of extra energy

 

Leo has already mentioned that in one of his oldest videos, which is also one of my personal favorites. In the video, he says that many “energy problems” people have are actually a lack of purpose. Why? Because your body produces the energy in proportion to how much you need your energy.

If you ain’t got a purpose, you might wind up like a lazy cat. I mean, nothing wrong with that. It’s just that… I want to enter the Third Stage. Divine-like. And I only imagine myself accomplishing that through working my-ass-off (but not neurotically, please, remember the 80/20 law) on my…. LIFE PURPOSE.

 

- A life without a purpose is a life without a thesis

 

I agree with Leo with that. I don’t know why, but I tend to always agree with him. He is lucid in a crazy society. But, anyway, here is the thing: if you have ever taken English 1A in college, you should know that you alwayz gotta have a THESIS. Otherwise, the chances of you messing up the full essay are too damn high!

 

Same thing with your life: I totally understand the approach of “letting go” and allowing Nature to work itself through you by you releasing all resistance, by letting go of your ego, and so on. Okay… that is part of the journey, and I have been there. But it is so fucking boring. One year ago, that was the only thing I did. Consciousness work, consciousness work, consciousness work… IT WAS HELL. Cause, hey, facing yourself is not the most pleasant things when you have completely abandoned your own fucking self for 12 years, so it is like cleaning a house that is so filled of junk you can barely get in there. Hahaha… like that show Horders.

 

- For the shy: have you ever considered working on your voice?

 

I cannot stress how theater is important. But like you gotta go with a GOOD teacher, not a neurotic one. I have been working on my voice for the past 4 months, and MAN, it feels amazing! I felt my voice opening for the very first time in my fifth ayahuasca trip. I probably threw up or something, and then when I said something out loud, I was like: WTF??????? Is that my voice?

 

I still backslide on that. So sometimes I force my voice too much, and I also got LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of emotional baggage stored in my chest area. It is fucking annoying to be so thawed in this area (the chest). And it hurts to unfreeze. And if I do it too quickly (like I tend to wanna do things in life generally), there comes a HUGE, bombastic backfiring. Backlash. EGO BACKLASH sucks, but it is a part of growing yourself.

 

- Create a creativity incubator: Be aware of creativity attacks

 

I know this is something @Leo Gura has struggled with in the past. My very first meditation teacher, Jack Kornfield, talks about this a lot. To paraphrase him: “So you are meditating and then BOOM! There comes LOTS and LOTS of ideas, like you think somehow it is possible to lose them.” This is an exaggeration, but I notice that I get those creativity hits that are indeed authentic and sometimes are hard to let go.

But Jack Kornfield advice to this is to negotiate. So, you can tell yourself. So you tell your little ego: “I swear I am going to think about that when we are done.” If you got a more disciplined inferior ego, you can tell it simply: “Let’s think about that later.”

And this simple phrase “Later” sometimes is enough to quiet down my mind completely. And just focus on being aware of the present moment.

However, I do admit that it is hard to keep up with that in an informal situation. I do backslide on this a lot also. I get triggered by an insignificant even of the past and get so lost in that emotion, which is hiding in the appearance of a thought, that I get triggered into a spiral of negativity. So thoughts related to fear, guilt, and shame basically. So, all inferior ego.

 

So, just to wrap up this text. I want to thank @JKG for our Skype meetings. I am so happy we have made 3 weeks in a roll of at least one meeting. It has been very beneficial to me, and especially my life purpose. Talk about self-actualization with a friend is the bomb hahaha… seriously, at least once a week. It helps so much to clear your ideas. It is like contemplating something, not alone, but with another person

And, by the way, I have refined even more the statement of my life purpose hehehehe  

[Gabriel Antonio]

Results… 21-day Challenge Setting An Intention for the Day

So, I decided to try this out. I have been real big on intention lately, and this little challenge seemed to fit perfectly. So here it was: set an intention for my day before getting up from bed. This way, I would not overthink about the intention, and it would also be pleasant.

The results were very positive. I have realized how important it is to set clear intentions. Btw, I also wrote a reminder on my body so that I would totally forget about the intention during the day. The really cool thing about doing this is that whenever I feel lost during my day (and that happens quite frequently), all I would have to do is think back to my intention to ground myself again. And lemme tell you, it works.

 

Intention is like a thesis for my day.

 

And I have also been working with long-term intention (e.g., life purpose) and medium term (monthly) intention. It has been transforming my life for the better. It gives me a sense of direction.

Anyway, I am already thinking about my next challenge. Some ideas include repeating out-loud my “goals” for the year (I have come up with a 100-item list). The only problem with this is that it is going to take long. But I could try it. I mean, it will be like 5 minutes, but I want to do it not as a chore, but as something that I genuinely want to do.

Another idea is to repeat out loud a post that I simply loved that I saw here on the forum. The guy was so inspired when he wrote that, and it has been helping me cope with depression without getting neurotic about fixing it.

 

I will probably think about what challenge to do tomorrow.

 

Btw, I have also set my intention for the year. It is quite an enigma actually hahaha. Here it is: playful root. To explain it: Stay connected with my roots, while being playful in the world. Kinda too complex, tbh, but… that is what came up after a 25-minute contemplation.

 

Thanks for reading

[Gabriel Antonio]

Simple Yet Effective Insight

 

So check this out: Nature never stops, right? So basically you gotta do the same, but please hold zero tension in your body. Sometimes I am doing something, and I completely let my lower-self dominate me. It is like I am a little slave of a little spoiled child, which is myself.

But… I am slowly beginning to understand that our society has got it completely backwards how to live life well. It ain’t about perfection. It is about being natural. For example, the people with the best voices have a NATURAL voice. On the other hand, people who force their voice too much is unpleasant to hear. Why? Because they are making too damn much effort.

 

Quote

 

“If you want to go down the road of improving yourself, good luck for you.”

Jack Kornfield

 

 

The thing is: I am fucking tired of editing the shit out of my life. Thinking about every single thing I say, getting paranoid about my health, taking unnecessary action, and so on. Instead, I want to become a force of Nature once again, like I was when I was a kid. This feels so nice, as opposed to braw beating myself over and over for not being perfect. Dude, remember:

 

Quote

 

You are the only one who know yourself.

 

 

Stop giving this responsibility to others. They are a huge pile of horseshit, when it comes to giving an opinion about yourself. The only thing they can see are projections. Remember? There is no world outside of you. That’s what Leo can’t stop emphasize in every single video of his. So… are you gonna take the real route or the imaginary one? Cause, seriously, everything happens inside of you. And the strangest thing is that very few people self-reflect just a tiny bit to grasp that they are the causing of their own suffering and their own happiness.

 

Well, I am already judging myself harshly for writing this text. “You have incorrect posture.” , “You are tensing your body too much.”, “You are going to feel bad afterwards” etc etc etc, all of which are self-fulfilling prophecies. But what @soulbass has made me understand is that: we create our own antidotes and our own poisons. The only thing necessary for us is to resignify.

 

Quote

 

Ressignify = give a new meaning.

 

 

For example, I am home alone on a Saturday, while my mind comes with all sorts of things I “should” be doing (FUCK SHOULD STATEMENTS, BTW!): You gotta go see a friend. You shouldn’t be staying alone for so much time. Basically, all of these are my version of being a parent. Exactly! It is a new version of my mom and dad. Dude, that is so fucked up to realize that. BOOM!

 

Well, I have completely overwritten here. The thing I wrote on the actual paper I wrote the insight is:

 

Quote

 

“Don’t interrupt the flux.

Instead work with what you have.

Remember nature. It

never

fucking

stops

the

Flow”

 

 

 

Hope all of you are trusting the Path. 

 

Quote

"And we come together in the Oneness of Love, to engage in Consciousness."

- Matt Kahn

 

Peace out ! 

[Gabriel Antonio]

I Wish…

 

I wish my future self could step back into time and tell me that…

It is okay if you isolate yourself… myself…

All my exaggerations and all my addictions… I wish I could accept all of that shit… accept that I am vulnerable and that I can have a break down at any moment…

But I resist… and from resisting, I make the monster more scary that it is…

This rush for awakening, for perfecting myself… maybe I should simply accept that I am not immune to feeling awkward feelings, confusion, etc.

All this sense of meaninglessness that permeates my mind makes me feel like life is just a matter of surviving each day without breaking down. Yes, I wish I could be feeling “higher consciousness” (whatever that means), but right now, I do not.

 

Just a shitty post…

[Gabriel Antonio]

Cynicism is an attitude or state of mind characterized by a general distrust of others' motives. A cynic may have a general lack of faith or hope in the human species or people motivated by ambition, desire, greed, gratification, materialism, goals, and opinions that a cynic perceives as vain, unobtainable, or ultimately meaningless and therefore deserving of ridicule or admonishment. A common misapplication of this attitude involves its attribution to individuals who emote well-thought-out expressions of skepticism. Such miscategorization may occur as the result of either inexperience or a belief system in which the innate goodness of man is considered an important tenet or even an irrefutable fact. Thus, contemporary usage incorporates both a form of jaded prudence and (when misapplied) realistic criticism or skepticism. The term originally derives from the ancient Greek philosophers, the Cynics, who rejected all conventions, whether of religion, manners, housing, dress, or decency, instead advocating the pursuit of virtuein accordance with a simple and idealistic way of life.

 

powerful, shit! 

[Gabriel Antonio]

Maybe You Should Quit…

 

I don’t know about you, but I am pretty tired of that self-help cliché: “Don’t give up.” This can cause a lot of neurosis in some types of people. I have recently read, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck” (great read!), and he talks about Bukowski. That guy was fucking hilarious! He was such a careless guy that he went full-circle and became an awesome writer -- and a human being. By being so honest to his own devilry, he also goes full-circle into becoming “good.”

 

I love the feeling of relief when you are reading or listening to something, and you go: “Wow… that sure resonates with me.” For example, the insight Bukowski gave us is: Don’t try. Trying is for losers and people who do not know their talents. Leo mentioned, in the “Personal Questions to Leo” topic, the phrase: “not forcing anything.” THAT’S IT!

 

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>>> The Effortless State <<<

 

 

I have tried so much in building discipline, and from my experience, it ALWAYS backfires. Sooner or later. Right now, I am in a HUGE ego backlash, and it is freaking me out. I am seeing myself overeat, isolate, be lazy, smoke TONS of weed, binge watching Freaks & Geeks (great show, btw!), jerk off at least twice a day, manipulate, escape life, and more to come! Hahaha, and the craziest part is: I am not stopping myself. I am simply observing myself do stupid shit. [For more: watch “Awareness Alone is Curative”].

 

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Awareness = Observation

 

 

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Man, I have been through hell so many times that maybe I should stop fearing going down there. Because, deep down, it is all a matter of well-qualified energy vs bad-qualified energy. What shall we do with the bad-qualified energy? Transmute it through deep breathing. It is as simple as this.

 

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My Current Intentions:

- [Cycle of the] Moon: Follow my Intuition

- Day: Make sure my voice is reverberating on my skull

- Week: uninterrupted movements, but softly.

 

 

 

Free Yourself From Guilt! 

 

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj 

Hi Mcdonald, thanks for sharing the videos from Dr. Garbor on addiction. That guy is fucking amazing! 

[Gabriel Antonio]

The Power is In Our Breath!

 

So, by this, I do NOT mean that we should be forcing our breaths all the time. Obviously this will backfire. Our diafragma, for example, is eventually gonna get tired. No, we do not want that.

Instead, let us focus on a more tranquil breath. This is called Eupineia, the standard breathing. No muscle effort at all. Remember: breath-work is just like going to gym. If you wanna be the highly unstrategic rabbit, go ahead and overdo. But, if you are like me, and you want to become a Wise Turtle, then let us start small but in the right direction.

In fact, the theme of forcing the muscles of the breath is recurrent to me. When I get a glimpse of how amazing I can feel through breath control, I easily get attached to practicing over and over again. It sucks because it backfires. It is just like watering a plant. You don’t do it all the time. Or else you screw the whole process.

 

Anyway, here is my advice: focus on acquiring total body relaxation. Your breath will auto-correct.

[You must always remember that your spine should be as upright as possible (but relaxed). And, really, your whole body should be jelly-like, but with some tone.]
 

I hope you get the key point in here:
 

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The goal is not to become a robot. The goal is to become a Force of Nature (it’s gonna be WAY beyond, my friend).

 

 

Tai Chi has done this metamorphosis with me. 7 months in, and, MAN! It is such a gradual -- but profound -- transformation happening . Yes, my ego is backlashing crazily as I mentioned yesterday. But at the same time, I have little gaps of what is about to unfold.

 

I see how everything is fitting in the big picture.

The big picture is all that matters.

Everything will make sense.

 

Well, just some stupid words that came up to my mind… Ppl, please do not overdo. Whatever it is you’re doing in your spiritual practice, DO NOT overdo it.