Not quite ready to delete life.

[jdc7733]

So, here I am making a post for no one, although it can get responses, what even is a response? What you say may have nothing to do with what I said in this post. You all say sitting there breathing somehow makes you enlightened, if it did, I’d be pretty enlightened. You tell me that eating a pretty piece of paper which apparently has something called LSD on it is the cause of hallucinations (I’ve done LSD and I did hallucinate, but, there is no causal relationship there.) You tell me to go the doctors even though I already have, I’ve tried several meds, stayed off drugs for long periods of time, I actually don’t give a fuck anymore, literally everything, is bs.

[vibv]

Chill. Get yourself together and take time off spirituality.

just my Intuition I share 

Edited October 13, 2023 by vibv

[Francis777]

Sending love man, trust that you'll figure it out x

Edited October 13, 2023 by Francis777

[Thought Art]

What is your suffering?

take a break… 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Thought Art

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, jdc7733 said:

So, here I am making a post for no one, although it can get responses, what even is a response? What you say may have nothing to do with what I said in this post. You all say sitting there breathing somehow makes you enlightened, if it did, I’d be pretty enlightened. You tell me that eating a pretty piece of paper which apparently has something called LSD on it is the cause of hallucinations (I’ve done LSD and I did hallucinate, but, there is no causal relationship there.) You tell me to go the doctors even though I already have, I’ve tried several meds, stayed off drugs for long periods of time, I actually don’t give a fuck anymore, literally everything, is bs.

The first rule of therapy is honesty. 

Here is something. Majority of Depression is caused by suppression. There is something you desire that is going unfulfilled and as a result your perspective on life being feasible has crumbled. This is normal. But you can only discover this if you sit, and ask yourself some questions.

1. What is it I really want? Not what other people tell me I should want, what is it I WANT?

2. Why do I want this? Is it sincere? Or is it again something that is an attempt to prove something to others around me?

3. How honest am I with myself? What do I like to lie about? How can I figure out better what I actually want?

4. Do I know how amazing I am? If not why not? Have I ever gave my best towards something long enough to discover my own genius? Do I even know what my talents are?

5. Have I cultivated any friendships? Do I even know what friendship is? If I have friends, have I been a good friend to them?

6. Do I take time to relax or am I always on the go?

You can use this map I made that describes how the ego functions. One of these needs is not getting met.

 

[Buck Edwards]

2 hours ago, vibv said:

Chill. Get yourself together and take time off spirituality.

just my Intuition I share 

 

1 hour ago, Thought Art said:

What is your suffering?

take a break… 

I agree with these. Also therapy helps a lot. Especially with the right therapist who understands the exact issue. Right diagnosis. 

Edited October 14, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[jdc7733]

@Razard86 I’m at a point where I don’t even particularly want drugs anymore (apart from nicotine, caffeine and I drink like 2-4 cans of beer per day, on an average day.) The main thing I wanted recently, was to just take drugs, basically, but I know money runs out, you develop a tolerance etc. I was watching a video by Leo where he calls most pleasures “lower consciousness stuff”, including socialising, food, sex, entertainment - it’s all distractions. After age 17, the main things I wanted after were love, sex, drugs and acceptance. I hid a lot about myself, once I reached a certain age, sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally, for reasons idk, example, I hid being gay, then came out to some people, then denied I came out, to my friends. Basically, I’ll sum it up as Leo said in videos which is “needy” and a “horny little” so and so. I mean obviously there were other things I wanted during those periods and what I want changes all the time. I suppose there are frequent wants but there’s no consistent, deep down want.

Edited October 14, 2023 by jdc7733

[FourCrossedWands]

Get a puppy.

[vibv]

1 hour ago, jdc7733 said:

@Razard86 I’m at a point where I don’t even particularly want drugs anymore (apart from nicotine, caffeine and I drink like 2-4 cans of beer per day, on an average day.)

Alcohol, especially daily/regular consumption, definitely lowers your consciousness.

Quote

The main thing I wanted recently, was to just take drugs, basically, but I know money runs out, you develop a tolerance etc. I was watching a video by Leo where he calls most pleasures “lower consciousness stuff”, including socialising, food, sex, entertainment - it’s all distractions.

Taking drugs solely for pleasure is a huge distraction. It will never fill the hole you feel inside you, it will in fact make it bigger. They are not able to really satisfy you, instead you'll be constantly on the run to your next high. It's hell, really. Self-created hell by being deeply attached to impermanent bodily sensations.

You can get high from time to time, but it's a cherry on top. First you gotta feed your soul's desires. And then you're able - maybe for the first time - to actually enjoy it.

Quote

 I suppose there are frequent wants but there’s no consistent, deep down want.

You just gotta find it or create it from scratch based on your deepest desires. You have desires! Else you wouldn't take drugs to achieve peace of mind. Instead take on fulfilling them for real, instead of just suppressing them with narcotics. Go identify them! But you might need to take a break from the alcohol to allow them to surface. You've been repressing them for so long...

Edited October 14, 2023 by vibv

[vibv]

8 minutes ago, FourCrossedWands said:

Get a puppy.

Only if you're ready to undertake that much responsibility for years to come. Time- & money-wise. It's by far no panacea.

[jdc7733]

@vibv everything is impermanent. There’s no pleasure that lasts.

[vibv]

5 minutes ago, jdc7733 said:

@vibv everything is impermanent. There’s no pleasure that lasts.

True, that’s why you don’t build your life on them.