Awakening To And Beyond Leo: Backstory

[Clarence]

My initial post got locked, but I was asked to share about my backstory. I will do so here. I didn't think it was relevant, but apparently it is.

Basically, I was born in Belgium in 1996 (French is my mother tongue and I don't like expressing myself in English so much). I grew up with my mother and my sister. My father died when I was young. I faced a lot of suffering and rejection already as a child because there was something different about me. Others kept reflecting to me my difference and I didn't do well socially.

I developed at a very young age a very deep sense of not knowing what I was. What we were doing here, what was existence. Why there was something rather than nothing.

After kindergarten, elementary school and high school, I signed up to study Philosophy at University. I thought these studies were the most likely to help me in my desire for understanding and for dealing with my suffering. I was wrong. It only got more confusing as I wasn't getting any answers. But it was better than doing nothing.

I discovered Actualize.org at that time. I searched on the internet for ''How To Study''. And I watched my first video from Leo. I continued my studies for two years, I tried to improve my methods to become a better student and I tried to create a vision for myself. My struggles though, combined with my deepest desires, lead me to drop out of university to go live in a monastery.

I realized that becoming a monk, working on my own Enlightenment and helping others get Enlightened was the most meaningful thing I could do with my life. I didn't care at all about money and success. All I wanted was understanding and doing something meaningful.

It was a Buddhist Monastery of the Vietnamese tradition (Plum Village). I arrived there at 21 years old, wishing to take the vows to become a monastic for life. But the more I was getting in, the less it was making sense to me. I was not learning there all of the deep stuff Leo was sharing. We were not even really allowed to read books from other teachers nor trying to gain understanding from other places as an aspirant or a young monastic. I also talked to them about psychedelics and they made me feel that I wasn't in the right place.

I suffered a lot because I thought I had found my life purpose. But after living there for nine months, I left. Coming back home, I dealt with a very long and deep episode of depression. I could not manifest any of the teachings I was learning from Actualized.org and I hated myself for keeping failing over and over.

Slowly healing from this episode, I decided that the best I could do was to find a part-time job that was not too demanding and spend as much time as I could learning from Leo and other teachers. Though, I've spent more time on Leo's website than on any other. All that mattered to me was to understand what I was and what Reality was, and he was the one expressing it the most clearly.

Depression and anxiety kept coming in the way, but I kept doing the best I could with what I had. I had my first psychedelic trip in August of last year. I had been waiting for that moment since I was at University. And, for the first time, I could finally have a direct experience of what Leo was teaching (I had my first Awakening - which was not a God-Realization).

I had different types of Awakenings after that, but they were not adding anything new, anything that Leo or others hadn't already shared, and they were just my first baby steps into the field. I knew I still understood nothing. 

Now, yesterday's Awakening felt different. I felt that I was understanding something new, which was that I had a capacity to intuitively get Leo's teachings and to Awaken to the Realizations that I knew he had had rather quickly, a capacity that most people may not have. It felt like I had a gift, in a sense. From that, I just wanted to share that: ''I exist, I'm here''. I know that Leo knows that he is God. And I know that I am God. And Leo might not know how much another human being right now may know these two things (hence the statement ''I am the most Awaken thing that there is'' - it was on that realization, the realization that I am God awakening to the knowledge that there is at least one other God-Realized human on Earth and awakening directly to him, to his Godhead).

My whole point was to share this. There is no other place on this planet where I can do so. Even my closest friends don't know what I am talking about and it pains me, because I'd like to share  these things with someone who understands them too.

However, and this might be the most important part of my backstory: I realize that Leo knows more and understands more than I do. He had so many trips and Awakenings and I had very few. He studied so many fields and understands so many aspects of Reality better than I do. I know that. The point was not to say that I believed I knew more than Leo. It's still not the case and I still have a lot to learn, to understand, and to directly Realize.

But my Awakening felt like I was the first having this Awakening (both the first and the second one). It was beyond Sollipsism (I had an Awakening to Sollipsism prior to that). The first Awakening I shared on my post was more like Leo's Infinity Of Gods Awakening, but with a twist. The second was more of a deepening of the first one, the Realization that this was actually something new, something that nobody else may (could) have awoken to before. And I felt like I wanted to share that, for myself, because it felt right to do so, and for the world, if it could be of any use.

In the end, what others think of this doesn't really matter to me. And I might also be deluding myself and figure this out later on (but it didn't seem like it, it felt like one of the possible facets of awakening).

Finally, the numbers don't matter either. I am not focusing on that. I know that we are basically manifesting for ourselves the reality we believe in, so I try to keep a clear and open mind as much as I can. I want to go deeper than that and understand things at other, deeper, and new levels (put simply, exploring Consciousness more and more, and all aspects of Consciousness). But honestly, the synchronicity of the numbers is still funny to watch. The chances were quite low to happen in that way if we think about it. So this manifested to me as if I was witnessing Devine Intelligence, a devine design. It added something much more profound to my Awakening to see this from God's Mind.

So I am not putting Leo on a pedestal, even if it seems like so in a sense and even if I am doing so in a sense. I'm rather learning from him because he is a very special human considering where most humans are at right now, and expanding my own consciousness doing what he teaches. I'm actually detaching myself more from him and from others than I ever did before. But obviously, I still have a lot to learn from him because he is sharing a life's worth of work in front of me and because he is accessing the deepest levels of awakening and understanding before I will.

--
Sorry if I don't answer back to reactions straightaway. I still deal with a lot of social anxiety, which I am working on. I would never have written anything on this forum if I had never had these awakenings. I might answer to reactions at some point if there are any, but I just freeze if I don't have the time to ponder my thoughts before reacting.

[Inliytened1]

@Clarence thanks for sharing!  That took a lot of courage - and congratulations on your awakening.   As you said there is more to go, of course.     

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Clarence said:

My initial post got locked, but I was asked to share about my backstory. I will do so here. I didn't think it was relevant, but apparently it is.

Basically, I was born in Belgium in 1996 (French is my mother tongue and I don't like expressing myself in English so much). I grew up with my mother and my sister. My father died when I was young. I faced a lot of suffering and rejection already as a child because there was something different about me. Others kept reflecting to me my difference and I didn't do well socially.

I developed at a very young age a very deep sense of not knowing what I was. What we were doing here, what was existence. Why there was something rather than nothing.

After kindergarten, elementary school and high school, I signed up to study Philosophy at University. I thought these studies were the most likely to help me in my desire for understanding and for dealing with my suffering. I was wrong. It only got more confusing as I wasn't getting any answers. But it was better than doing nothing.

I discovered Actualize.org at that time. I searched on the internet for ''How To Study''. And I watched my first video from Leo. I continued my studies for two years, I tried to improve my methods to become a better student and I tried to create a vision for myself. My struggles though, combined with my deepest desires, lead me to drop out of university to go live in a monastery.

I realized that becoming a monk, working on my own Enlightenment and helping others get Enlightened was the most meaningful thing I could do with my life. I didn't care at all about money and success. All I wanted was understanding and doing something meaningful.

It was a Buddhist Monastery of the Vietnamese tradition (Plum Village). I arrived there at 21 years old, wishing to take the vows to become a monastic for life. But the more I was getting in, the less it was making sense to me. I was not learning there all of the deep stuff Leo was sharing. We were not even really allowed to read books from other teachers nor trying to gain understanding from other places as an aspirant or a young monastic. I also talked to them about psychedelics and they made me feel that I wasn't in the right place.

I suffered a lot because I thought I had found my life purpose. But after living there for nine months, I left. Coming back home, I dealt with a very long and deep episode of depression. I could not manifest any of the teachings I was learning from Actualized.org and I hated myself for keeping failing over and over.

Slowly healing from this episode, I decided that the best I could do was to find a part-time job that was not too demanding and spend as much time as I could learning from Leo and other teachers. Though, I've spent more time on Leo's website than on any other. All that mattered to me was to understand what I was and what Reality was, and he was the one expressing it the most clearly.

Depression and anxiety kept coming in the way, but I kept doing the best I could with what I had. I had my first psychedelic trip in August of last year. I had been waiting for that moment since I was at University. And, for the first time, I could finally have a direct experience of what Leo was teaching (I had my first Awakening - which was not a God-Realization).

I had different types of Awakenings after that, but they were not adding anything new, anything that Leo or others hadn't already shared, and they were just my first baby steps into the field. I knew I still understood nothing. 

Now, yesterday's Awakening felt different. I felt that I was understanding something new, which was that I had a capacity to intuitively get Leo's teachings and to Awaken to the Realizations that I knew he had had rather quickly, a capacity that most people may not have. It felt like I had a gift, in a sense. From that, I just wanted to share that: ''I exist, I'm here''. I know that Leo knows that he is God. And I know that I am God. And Leo might not know how much another human being right now may know these two things (hence the statement ''I am the most Awaken thing that there is'' - it was on that realization, the realization that I am God awakening to the knowledge that there is at least one other God-Realized human on Earth and awakening directly to him, to his Godhead).

My whole point was to share this. There is no other place on this planet where I can do so. Even my closest friends don't know what I am talking about and it pains me, because I'd like to share  these things with someone who understands them too.

However, and this might be the most important part of my backstory: I realize that Leo knows more and understands more than I do. He had so many trips and Awakenings and I had very few. He studied so many fields and understands so many aspects of Reality better than I do. I know that. The point was not to say that I believed I knew more than Leo. It's still not the case and I still have a lot to learn, to understand, and to directly Realize.

But my Awakening felt like I was the first having this Awakening (both the first and the second one). It was beyond Sollipsism (I had an Awakening to Sollipsism prior to that). The first Awakening I shared on my post was more like Leo's Infinity Of Gods Awakening, but with a twist. The second was more of a deepening of the first one, the Realization that this was actually something new, something that nobody else may (could) have awoken to before. And I felt like I wanted to share that, for myself, because it felt right to do so, and for the world, if it could be of any use.

In the end, what others think of this doesn't really matter to me. And I might also be deluding myself and figure this out later on (but it didn't seem like it, it felt like one of the possible facets of awakening).

Finally, the numbers don't matter either. I am not focusing on that. I know that we are basically manifesting for ourselves the reality we believe in, so I try to keep a clear and open mind as much as I can. I want to go deeper than that and understand things at other, deeper, and new levels (put simply, exploring Consciousness more and more, and all aspects of Consciousness). But honestly, the synchronicity of the numbers is still funny to watch. The chances were quite low to happen in that way if we think about it. So this manifested to me as if I was witnessing Devine Intelligence, a devine design. It added something much more profound to my Awakening to see this from God's Mind.

So I am not putting Leo on a pedestal, even if it seems like so in a sense and even if I am doing so in a sense. I'm rather learning from him because he is a very special human considering where most humans are at right now, and expanding my own consciousness doing what he teaches. I'm actually detaching myself more from him and from others than I ever did before. But obviously, I still have a lot to learn from him because he is sharing a life's worth of work in front of me and because he is accessing the deepest levels of awakening and understanding before I will.

--
Sorry if I don't answer back to reactions straightaway. I still deal with a lot of social anxiety, which I am working on. I would never have written anything on this forum if I had never had these awakenings. I might answer to reactions at some point if there are any, but I just freeze if I don't have the time to ponder my thoughts before reacting.

When you say you awakened to Solipsism. Unpack that for me. What was the nature of that experience. Also its not just about having the experience in a moment, can you stabilize it. Can you make it your default experience. If you cannot then you still have some attachments to get rid of, you still have some resistance. 

[Clarence]

@Inliytened1 Yes, it did. Thank you…

[Clarence]

11 hours ago, Razard86 said:

When you say you awakened to Solipsism. Unpack that for me. What was the nature of that experience. Also its not just about having the experience in a moment, can you stabilize it. Can you make it your default experience. If you cannot then you still have some attachments to get rid of, you still have some resistance. 

The awakening to Solipsism was the realization that I was the only one and that I created and was everybody else (my mother, Leo, my best friends, every other human, past and present, every fictional character or thing that exists).

This realization made me so happy. I had it with my eyes closed, I think. I was not seeing in front of me and I was not realizing either what I was doing with my body. I came back a bit to me and to the room when I hit the floor and the wall. I was in a funny position but I didn't hurt myself (I was on my bed initially which is close to the floor). I went from the infinite to the finite world in that instant.

There, I sat, on the floor, with my eyes open, still in the realization of Solipsism. It felt really weird and I was thinking ''how could I say that to my mother'', who is downstairs. She doesn't even know it, she doesn't know that I am her, that she is me, that we are God and that we as God created everything.

The trip was slowly getting to an end, so my ego was coming back. I wanted on one side to go out like this, be different and show her, on the other, I was scared because I'm a very introverted person, I don't speak a lot nor talk about myself and my experiences, so I was scared if I suddenly acted different in front of her (what was is she going to think of me, I don't want her to know me). So I didn't show myself before I was back to my baseline consciousness enough to act as usual.

However, I was still very conscious to the fact that all people were me for about one week after the trip. It was very funny to look at people in their eyes because I was seeing myself directly through them looking at me. But as time went by, it became less strong.

Now, I still remember this awakening to Solipsism pretty vividly, but I am not living it. I'm pretty normal. In my experience, it would be very hard to maintain these states of consciousness because you are very different than you normally are when you are having them, and for me, things like eating, even days after the trip, is very difficult. It would be really hard to maintain the human self alive while having these Realizations remaining at that level. At the highest levels, you don't even see in front of you nor are conscious of your body.

Obviously, I still have attachments to get rid of and resistances, but it's a process, and I don't think that's the reason the Realizations don't remain as we live as a human. Maybe I'm wrong though, but so far, it makes sense that when the psychedelic leaves my system, I go back to my normal human consciousness. I believe I couldn't stay alive otherwise. But I come back with new informations, which is super exciting.

[Razard86]

8 hours ago, Clarence said:

The awakening to Solipsism was the realization that I was the only one and that I created and was everybody else (my mother, Leo, my best friends, every other human, past and present, every fictional character or thing that exists).

This realization made me so happy. I had it with my eyes closed, I think. I was not seeing in front of me and I was not realizing either what I was doing with my body. I came back a bit to me and to the room when I hit the floor and the wall. I was in a funny position but I didn't hurt myself (I was on my bed initially which is close to the floor). I went from the infinite to the finite world in that instant.

There, I sat, on the floor, with my eyes open, still in the realization of Solipsism. It felt really weird and I was thinking ''how could I say that to my mother'', who is downstairs. She doesn't even know it, she doesn't know that I am her, that she is me, that we are God and that we as God created everything.

The trip was slowly getting to an end, so my ego was coming back. I wanted on one side to go out like this, be different and show her, on the other, I was scared because I'm a very introverted person, I don't speak a lot nor talk about myself and my experiences, so I was scared if I suddenly acted different in front of her (what was is she going to think of me, I don't want her to know me). So I didn't show myself before I was back to my baseline consciousness enough to act as usual.

However, I was still very conscious to the fact that all people were me for about one week after the trip. It was very funny to look at people in their eyes because I was seeing myself directly through them looking at me. But as time went by, it became less strong.

Now, I still remember this awakening to Solipsism pretty vividly, but I am not living it. I'm pretty normal. In my experience, it would be very hard to maintain these states of consciousness because you are very different than you normally are when you are having them, and for me, things like eating, even days after the trip, is very difficult. It would be really hard to maintain the human self alive while having these Realizations remaining at that level. At the highest levels, you don't even see in front of you nor are conscious of your body.

Obviously, I still have attachments to get rid of and resistances, but it's a process, and I don't think that's the reason the Realizations don't remain as we live as a human. Maybe I'm wrong though, but so far, it makes sense that when the psychedelic leaves my system, I go back to my normal human consciousness. I believe I couldn't stay alive otherwise. But I come back with new informations, which is super exciting.

Thank you for the clarifications. I'll sprinkle something for you. It can hold. You can live from that state. If you so choose. Any psychedelic state you take on, you can keep, if you so choose. The belief of a time limit in trips, is brainwashing nonsense, social conditioning. YOU limit how long your trips are as God. 

Now I am not saying the ego has control over it, I am saying that you as God will allow the ego to live in that state if it is capable of handling it. So understand you have only touched the tip, Reality is much more radical than you think. 

[Razard86]

Watch this.

https://www.actualized.org/insights?p=58

[Clarence]

@Razard86

Thank you for your answer.
May I ask you what states you are capable of maintaining and to what extent? Are you Awake to solipsism and to being God in your current experience?

I have mixed feelings about this issue because I've heard a lot from Leo that it was really hard in general to raise one's baseline consciousness and that, by being a human and so being finite, our body gives us limits which prevents us from remaining extremely conscious. Some levels or some awakenings (like alien consciousness for example) would not be practical or possible to sustain while having a human life.

However, I also heard him say from his experience with DPT that it felt that it would be possible to rewire the brain or heal the body in deep extents. In my second to last awakening, I had a sense of that. I felt like if I wanted to, I would have the power (as God) to do so. And that I would have the power as well, if I wanted to, to remain conscious of being God in my current body, and so function in my everyday life differently than how I do now with my ego (what you are saying).

I think that there is some truth in both and I'm curious to explore. Hearing many times that it was hard to raise one's baseline state of consciousness and that it was better done with other practices than psychedelics, I've been thinking that there must be truth to that. But I actually don't know to what extent it is true or not yet.

Thank you for the links! I've seen them a long time ago but I will rewatch.
 

[Breakingthewall]

A pleasure to read your post. I'll tell you what I think, in case it could helps you: all awakenings that make you know something, like that you are alone or that you are god, are relative awakenings. In fact, all awakenings are relative, since in them the self is understanding something. there is structure and mind, something in relation with something else. It's interesting to know those things but they don't really mean anything. What you are really looking for is total openness to the now, beyond any structure, where "I am alone" means the same as "others exist": nothing.

Think about who wants to understand reality. It is the self. Reality already understands everything, enough to create the infinite cycles of the cosmos. drop the self and total opening will occur, and it will happen sober.

[Clarence]

@Breakingthewall

Thank you. 
I understand what you are saying, but why would you want total openness to the now more than Absolute Understanding?

Understanding is more fundamental to me than dropping the Self, structure and mind. I'm not even sure to what extent one could drop the Self (it is not the ego, unless you mean it that way). Why would you want to be left with nothing?

Total openness and no mind are also relative realizations. Awakenings are actually more Absolute than that, despite the fact that you can always go deeper. I find that to Awaken, to understand all of Reality, and so to understand Yourself, to be much more meaningful.

[Breakingthewall]

58 minutes ago, Clarence said:

understand what you are saying, but why would you want total openness to the now more than Absolute Understanding?

Because who wants to understand is the ego. Understanding is imaginary since the ego is an imaginary construction. Whether the ego understands more or less is irrelevant since it cannot have infinite understanding. any level of understanding that is not infinite is zero compared to infinity. There are only two levels of understanding, finite or infinite. finite is the same as nothing, since finite is illusion.

The only function of understanding is to be able to free yourself from the mental capsule. Total openness is total understanding, since there is nothing to understand, it is in totality. Being is understanding and it's empty of content. That seems very disappointing for the ego, that always want more. Well, you can satisfy the ego if you want and explore, but first you should to understand what understanding is, what the self is, and what total openess is.  

For example, how can you understand that you are alone in existence? The only way is to compare it to not being alone. If there is no structure, you are not alone, that concept does not exist, so there is no understanding of being alone, just existence

Edited October 15, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Guest Bazooka Jesus]

12 hours ago, Breakingthewall said:

In fact, all awakenings are relative

Exactly!

An 'awakening' is an experience, and every experience needs the counter-experience of the opposite in order to be experience-able. What goes up must come down, and vice versa. So the only way to transcend the eternal up and down of existence is to fully embrace it and recognize its inherent perfection. 

☯ 

[Breakingthewall]

52 minutes ago, Bazooka Jesus said:

An 'awakening' is an experience, and every experience needs the counter-experience of the opposite in order to be experience-able

Yes, but still, the ego that understands more is freer. For me the goal is not understanding, but freedom, understanding is a tool.

[Clarence]

@Breakingthewall

Basically, what you are saying is that your ego wants to be free more than it wants to understand because it thinks that understanding all of Reality won't bring freedom and because it thinks that to understand the Infinite is impossible. But the desire to be free also comes from the ego. Personally, I actually find the desire to understand for the sake of understanding less egotistical than the desire for freedom.

I'd love to be free and not suffer, but the path you are describing doesn't seem realistic to me. Are you living from that place of freedom, and how did you attain it? Also, have you had God-Realizations?

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Clarence said:

@Breakingthewall

Basically, what you are saying is that your ego wants to be free more than it wants to understand because it thinks that understanding all of Reality won't bring freedom and because it thinks that to understand the Infinite is impossible. But the desire to be free also comes from the ego. Personally, I actually find the desire to understand for the sake of understanding less egotistical than the desire for freedom.

I'd love to be free and not suffer, but the path you are describing doesn't seem realistic to me. Are you living from that place of freedom, and how did you attain it? Also, have you had God-Realizations?

It's just my vision, but what I am saying is that absolute understanding is already a fact, reality is that. I am now a self-created determined pattern of existence that is a superimposed experience of infinite reality. The only enlightenment is to open yourself completely to infinite reality, to what existence is, and that is not something relative.

Relative is relating one thing to another, being alone with being with others. being infinite with being finite. If you open yourself completely to the now, there is no alone or infinite, since those are mental structures, it is realizing what you are, which is indefinable and you cannot think about it, since thinking is contrasting.

The necessary understanding is about the current pattern that you are, about how you are constantly creating a mental bubble that encapsulates you, that defines and interprets reality and in this way veils it. wanting to understand the absolute is one of these barriers, you have to let go of them all. Reality without structures is neither definable nor interpretable, since as soon as you do that, you are automatically creating separation between you and reality, and that is unreal since there is no you separated from reality. Freedom is to dissolve the capsule of mental flow, to be now without structure. or at least that's my experience.

You ask me if I have had god realization. I guess that means realizing that I am God and I am creating reality. I think that's not like that, but who knows. The most I can easily achieve is to realize the absence of limits of this moment, of the illusion that is the timeline, of how this experience is like a hologram that is superimposed on the substance of reality, which is the life flowing,. intelligence. I do not see that there is a god who creates, but this moment arising from limitless reality like a fountain. I see the limitless intelligence that is this moment, and that I'm this moment, not the self who analizes.  intelligence that flows, perhaps that could be called God. I am sure that you can see deeper, and I try that for the beauty it implies, but openness to the now is the key and the objective. Drop the self completely.  contemplation of the glory of existence comes later

[gettoefl]

well done and welcome clarence, you are seen you are felt you are cherished you are home

namaste ♥

[gettoefl]

30 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

It's just my vision, but what I am saying is that absolute understanding is already a fact, reality is that. I am now a self-created determined pattern of existence that is a superimposed experience of infinite reality. The only enlightenment is to open yourself completely to infinite reality, to what existence is, and that is not something relative.

Relative is relating one thing to another, being alone with being with others. being infinite with being finite. If you open yourself completely to the now, there is no alone or infinite, since those are mental structures, it is realizing what you are, which is indefinable and you cannot think about it, since thinking is contrasting.

The necessary understanding is about the current pattern that you are, about how you are constantly creating a mental bubble that encapsulates you, that defines and interprets reality and in this way veils it. wanting to understand the absolute is one of these barriers, you have to let go of them all. Reality without structures is neither definable nor interpretable, since as soon as you do that, you are automatically creating separation between you and reality, and that is unreal since there is no you separated from reality. Freedom is to dissolve the capsule of mental flow, to be now without structure. or at least that's my experience.

You ask me if I have had god realization. I guess that means realizing that I am God and I am creating reality. I think that's not like that, but who knows. The most I can easily achieve is to realize the absence of limits of this moment, of the illusion that is the timeline, of how this experience is like a hologram that is superimposed on the substance of reality, which is the life flowing,. intelligence. I do not see that there is a god who creates, but this moment arising from limitless reality like a fountain. I see the limitless intelligence that is this moment, and that I'm this moment, not the self who analizes.  intelligence that flows, perhaps that could be called God. I am sure that you can see deeper, and I try that for the beauty it implies, but openness to the now is the key and the objective. Drop the self completely.  contemplation of the glory of existence comes later

on the money, thank you

[Princess Arabia]

41 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

It's just my vision, but what I am saying is that absolute understanding is already a fact, reality is that

I would say that Absolute Freedom is already the case and that Reality is that. To me, Understanding is not a fact and that it is a process of becoming......whatever that entails.

[Breakingthewall]

26 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I would say that Absolute Freedom is already the case and that Reality is that. To me, Understanding is not a fact and that it is a process of becoming......whatever that entails.

Yeah, both are the case, Reality is what it is and our dual perception conceals it. A fetus has enough understanding to create itself in its enormous complexity, we could open urself to that understanding. I don't know to what extent it is possible having a human mind. I don't even know exactly how to do it. I would say that once you can be stable in an open state for hours you can go deeper into what reality is, but the first thing for now for me is to be able to stabilize that state without starting to interpret right away.

The now is like a pond, if you are still, it becomes transparent and reality begins to manifest, but if you move it it becomes cloudy. That's why realizations with psychedelics are a bit misleading, because there is almost always too much movement even if there is openness, but they are much better than nothing. The goal is to achieve this in a clean way, without substances. 

Anyway, soon we are going to finish that human experience and become totally limitless, so why to be on hurry to understand. Imo the important thing is be as free as is possible just because it feels good, but freedom brings understanding, so at the end it's the same

Edited October 15, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Princess Arabia]

54 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Yeah, both are the case, Reality is what it is and our dual perception conceals it. A fetus has enough understanding to create itself in its enormous complexity, we could open urself to that understanding. I don't know to what extent it is possible having a human mind. I don't even know exactly how to do it. I would say that once you can be stable in an open state for hours you can go deeper into what reality is, but the first thing for now for me is to be able to stabilize that state without starting to interpret right away.

The now is like a pond, if you are still, it becomes transparent and reality begins to manifest, but if you move it it becomes cloudy. That's why realizations with psychedelics are a bit misleading, because there is almost always too much movement even if there is openness, but they are much better than nothing. The goal is to achieve this in a clean way, without substances. 

Anyway, soon we are going to finish that human experience and become totally limitless, so why to be on hurry to understand. Imo the important thing is be as free as is possible just because it feels good, but freedom brings understanding, so at the end it's the same

got ya.