'Men grow through criticism and women grow through approval' is BS.

[mr_engineer]

8 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

There's a difference between leading and commanding. You seem to favor the latter. 

 

I don't, actually. I would rather women just read my mind and knew how to treat me with respect. But, unfortunately, that's not how the modern world works. You have to teach women how to treat you with respect. (And feminists are immediately disqualified, cuz they barely see you as human, they see you as an evil monster just cuz you have man-parts) This is the solution to their daddy-issues. 

Once they learn it, then you can relax with them. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Spiral]

I don’t know the details but I really appreciate constructive criticism. If delivered in a kind way and not too often.

This way I can get a different perspectives and identify my own shortcomings.

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, Buck Edwards said:

Women want leadership not control, like Leo said. Haven't you watched Leo's videos on how to get laid. 

oxymoron

[something_else]

4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

(And feminists are immediately disqualified, cuz they barely see you as human, they see you as an evil monster just cuz you have man-parts) This is the solution to their daddy-issues. 

You sound like a broken record.

Something horrible happened to you in the past, you need to get over that and move on with your life. Instead what you are doing is trying to convince yourself that the only way someone could have wronged you is because they were brainwashed by the evil boogeyman of feminism.

No, they were just a bad person. The world is full of those and they exist in all groups and genders. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, you got unlucky and met a shitty person who took advantage of you. You need to accept this and stop using it to fuel your own hatred or it is going to eat you alive.

Ironically the extremist man-hating feminists are doing EXACTLY the same thing as you. Many of them had a very bad experience with a few men and construct an enemy out of all men to cope with it. That's what you're doing too.

 

Edited October 12, 2023 by something_else

[Spiral]

@something_else  I don’t think it’s matter of someone having treated him poorly. As opposed to him being online too much. And thus not viewing people based on real life.

[something_else]

17 minutes ago, Spiral said:

@something_else  I don’t think it’s matter of someone having treated him poorly. As opposed to him being online too much. And thus not viewing people based on real life.

He mentioned he got falsely accused by a woman and that it had a significant impact on his life.

Although I agree with you too, being online too much gives you a very warped sense of reality.

[mr_engineer]

@something_else I don't know what 'hatred' you're talking about. I don't hate them, I'm just recognizing the reality of how they operate and I'm figuring out solutions for it. 

Ah, all criticisms of women/feminists is 'misogyny'. That's the hatred. Man bad, woman good. 

@Spiral I love the theories you come up with about someone you only know online. Looks like you're the one spending too much time online and projecting that onto me. 

[Spiral]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

@Spiral I love the theories you come up with about someone you only know online. Looks like you're the one spending too much time online and projecting that onto me. 

Thanks! I’ll keep it up in that case 

On a more serious note, yeah I am actually online too much

[Princess Arabia]

@mr_engineerI'm going to say this to you and this is the last time I'm going to comment on your threads that has this nature. I really do understand where you're coming from. Not agreeing or disagreeing with what you're saying, but I understand why you're doing this and feeling this way. You'll deny it, of course, but that's ok. 

You feel powerless, helpless. You have unknowingly given your power away to the opposite sex and now you're fighting to get it back. You are fighting, not because you hate women, but because you love them. The problem is you want to love them how you want to love them. In your mind, there is a particular way to do this, and if you're not allowed to express it in the way you know how, it drives you crazy. You were taught this. Maybe from how you saw your parents, Idk, but somehow you have a fixed notion of what loving a woman should look like and vice versa and it can't be any other way, so you believe.

So now, that love has turned to hate, despair, hopelessness and somewhere in between. The irony is, it's turned towards yourself. You love women so much, you hate yourself for this because, from what you are noticing in the outside world, they are not worthy of your love. They have disappointed you. You are incapable of loving them the way they are because you have a fixed notion of how to show your love, and if you can't do it the only way you know how, then you see a life of loneliness and despair. Of not being able to share your twisted form of love with a partner. So now you fight. Fight to change the world and fight for what you think is right.

Mother Theresa once said, in so many words, not verbatim, show me something to fight for and not against. You will be better off fighting for what you are for and leave alone what you are against. You will win that battle much easier because fighting against evil will beget more evil. Now you will be doing things and being a certain way that will be no worse than what you're fighting against. 

When you become Spiritually mature, you will start to realize this. You will realize that the world is how it is because it has to be that way. We are the ones calling things good and evil to suit our survival agendas. It will play inself out in Divine order. Save your energy and go figure out how to love yourself and the people around you. Find ways to change your state of being and your life will start to reflect that and how you wish to be. You will be surprised at how the outside world shows you how you are and what you represent will inturn start to reveal that to you.

I can sit here and write posts about all the things in life I'm against and all the stuff I don't like about men that I would like to see change to suit my little egoic mind and what will make my puny little mundane life more enjoyable. But that's not taking responsibility for my growth and understanding of the nature of the Universe. That's putting me in the back seat and letting others drive me home. I need to take responsibility for my life and how I want to live it; not others, because there are no others. Others are just showing me what it is about myself and how I see myself. Change your identity and your experiences will change to match that vibration, There is no other way. You are messing with the flow of the Universe and all you will see is turbulence. Surrender your egoic will and start to recognize that there is only One thing at play here and it is you. So stop fighting a battle you will never win and start to appreciate the life that was given to you as a gift and start to become the change you want to see.

That's what I've learnt and that's why I will stand for what I believe in and leave alone what I'm against, because all I would be doing is perpetrating what I'm against some more because that's what my attention is on and where my awareness is, and you are the light of awareness shining your light and bringing to life what you're focusing on. This is Infinity and you have a choice as to what part of the infinite potential you want to bring forth. This is fear you're projecting. Some form of it. 

Sorry for the book.

 

Edited October 13, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[Javfly33]

11 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

It's a line in David Deida's 'The Way of the Superior Man'. In fact, there is an entire chapter called 'Enjoy your Friend's criticism'. Also, in the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover', this was alluded to. A lot of masculinity coaches have really taken this to heart. 

This seems like a subconscious thing the West believes in general, actually. Because, when you talk about something you're going through which is a collective thing that the society could collectively work together to improve, what do you get told?! 'Grow up, man up, stop being a little bitch'. It's the whole benevolent emasculation thing, where they project their own lack of masculinity onto you and they make the whole thing about masculinity, they turn the whole thing into a dick-measuring contest. 

David deida is full of s. Don't read that guy

[gettoefl]

the feminine compares the masculine contrasts

comparing is adding to what's there, accepting it affirming it

contrasting is taking away the upside and seeing negatives

the feminine unifies the masculine dissects

whoever said this displays wisdom

[Spiral]

@gettoefl That’s a good way to look at it.

 

 

[Buck Edwards]

11 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

oxymoron

How

[Leo Gura]

@mr_engineer Don't you see that you are slowly brainwashing and radicalizing yourself on this whole topic around women? Until eventually your mind will be full of such toxic ideas that you will never be able to relate to women in a healthy way.

The more you stew in this bitterness and negativity the worse you will feel, the more angry you will get.

Edited October 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Yousif]

On 10/11/2023 at 6:19 PM, mr_engineer said:

I have heard a lot of people say this and I don't agree with it. 

The underlying assumption is that the reality of who you are, as a man, is 'bad', whereas the reality of who you are, as a woman, is 'perfect'. And, in my opinion, this is simp-propaganda. 

Why should the man have to grow through criticism?! Why can't we get love and approval?! We deserve better treatment than to be kicked when we're down. 

I mean if you think about it, men wants very feminine submissive women and in order to get that these women have to be spoiled and treated like princesses and queens, on the other hand if you want strong and dependable men, you have to be rough with them both mentally and physically so they grow up to be tough and masculine, if you wanna be treated like a woman fine but you’ll become soft and feminine and that’s cool if its what you want but if you want to be a masculine man you gonna have to toughen up and that’s just how it is.

Edited October 13, 2023 by Yousif

[Buck Edwards]

26 minutes ago, Yousif said:

I mean if you think about it, men wants very feminine submissive women and in order to get that these women have to be spoiled and treated like princesses and queens, on the other hand if you want strong and dependable men, you have to be rough with them both mentally and physically so they grow up to be tough and masculine, if you wanna be treated like a woman fine but you’ll become weak and feminine and that’s cool if its what you want but if you want to be a masculine man you gonna have to toughen up and that’s just how it is.

Great insight man. 

[Tenebroso]

@Princess Arabia I nearly always disagree with you but I actually found your post here insightful.

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

@Princess Arabia I nearly always disagree with you but I actually found your post here insightful.

17 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

@Princess Arabia I nearly always disagree with you but I actually found your post here insightful.

Aww, thank you. Coming from you, that's a switch. I had to go re-read it again and corrected all the grammatical and spelling errors because I was in a flow when I was writing it. When I write like that it comes from the heart without thinking too much and i never re-read it because, at second thought, I might just erase it because of self-analysis and overthinking.  I am learning how to see behind the scenes, through my minds eye, and it becomes easier when you understand that people are acting with good intentions but just don't know how to do it lovingly because of lack of self-love. 

[AerisVahnEphelia]

@Princess Arabia great answer. 

[Princess Arabia]

11 minutes ago, AerisVahnEphelia said:

@Princess Arabia great answer. 

?