'Men grow through criticism and women grow through approval' is BS.

[mr_engineer]

I have heard a lot of people say this and I don't agree with it. 

The underlying assumption is that the reality of who you are, as a man, is 'bad', whereas the reality of who you are, as a woman, is 'perfect'. And, in my opinion, this is simp-propaganda. 

Why should the man have to grow through criticism?! Why can't we get love and approval?! We deserve better treatment than to be kicked when we're down. 

Edited October 11, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Leo Gura]

26 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I have heard a lot of people say this and I don't agree with it. 

I have never heard anyone say this.

[Raze]

When people say men or women comparisons like this they usually mean masculinity and femininity, and men and women always have both 

[Whitney Edwards]

Growing through criticism is not a bad thing. Approval is also a form of criticism if you flip the coin. Both are forms of validation. 

In fact criticism if genuine is better than approval. 

You make a big deal out of the masculine feminine chasm. God get out of the bubble and for once look at everyone as Human.

Youre stuck in some weird man woman dichotomy. 

[Princess Arabia]

**Sigh**

[Hello from Russia]

Nahh, it was this:
"The masculine grows by challenge, the feminine grows by praise"

 

[Whitney Edwards]

31 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

Nahh, it was this:
"The masculine grows by challenge, the feminine grows by praise"

 

Nahh. "the masculine grows by obstacle, the feminine grows by grace." 

[Pav]

Yeah sounds like bullshit, the majority of these man vs women generalisations are. Can't say I've ever heard anyone say this one, to be fair.

[mr_engineer]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I have never heard anyone say this.

It's a line in David Deida's 'The Way of the Superior Man'. In fact, there is an entire chapter called 'Enjoy your Friend's criticism'. Also, in the book 'King, Warrior, Magician, Lover', this was alluded to. A lot of masculinity coaches have really taken this to heart. 

This seems like a subconscious thing the West believes in general, actually. Because, when you talk about something you're going through which is a collective thing that the society could collectively work together to improve, what do you get told?! 'Grow up, man up, stop being a little bitch'. It's the whole benevolent emasculation thing, where they project their own lack of masculinity onto you and they make the whole thing about masculinity, they turn the whole thing into a dick-measuring contest. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[mr_engineer]

In the past 10 years, it has been a reality in schools across the board that girls are given the 'you go girl' attitude and boys are told 'hold yourself back, you're inherently toxic'. None of you boomers get this, cuz you haven't seen this!! Then you tell me that 'I'm making this up'. And, of course, yall turn this into a dick-measuring contest. Ask any man below the age of 25, they'll basically agree that there is a war on masculinity. And no, we're not just 'bitching and moaning' about it, it is a real thing. 

If you tell me 'this is still bitching and moaning, I don't see a solution', I'll show you the solution. 

• Step 1 - Recognize that when feminists say 'toxic masculinity', they're projecting their own toxicity onto you. They're the toxic ones! Especially in the last 10 years, it's gotten really toxic and everyone above the age of 30 keeps supporting it and everyone below this age keeps getting screwed as a result. Stop that, stop supporting them ideologically, in terms of actions, etc. Boycott them. 
• Step 2 - Recognize that any man under the age of 25 who is a 'feminist ally' is basically a simp. 
• Step 3 - Turn simping into the new taboo. In fact, you have to watch like a hawk how the mainstream conditions you to be a simp. Things like porn, things like 'believe all women', things like the rising popularity of OnlyFans and Instagram models, etc. 
• Step 4 - Decode what feminists are saying and try to figure out what their agenda is. For example, when someone says 'I'm a feminist', they're telling you that they're a trash human being (and telling you that you're trash, i.e. projecting) and that you should stay away from them. I.e. They're taking the trash out for you. This will give you a real understanding of women and how feminists appeal to women, socially. 'Being a feminist' should unironically be seen as a mental disorder, that's based on delusion and you have to figure out what that delusion is and actively work to debunk those. We just call them 'crazy' in jest. Get more serious about that assessment, figure out the nature of their craziness. 
• Step 5 - Figure out red-flags to vet them out in your dating-life. Once you figure out how their mind works, you can spot the red-flags from afar and you can vet them out easily. You want a woman who loves men, not someone who hates men. Don't put up with the 'equality' crap in your relationships because they will not let you lead, they will not let you take charge. And we can all agree that it's healthier when the man leads, that it's sexier. So, say no to feminists in dating. They say they 'can't find good men'? Good. That's what you deserve for being a feminist. Fix yourself, become more feminine or die alone. This is what you say to men, right?! This is what we say to you. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Hello from Russia]

@mr_engineer You seem to demonize women, mate

Of course there are some egostistical and narcissistic women just like there are a lot of such men, but it's not that bad

It is a deeper problem and the problem is that 95-99% of people are deeply unconscious, doesn't matter men/women

The solution in my opinion is to seek higher consciosness partners, Why do you want to date these crazy stage orange-blue people anyway? There are so many yellow+ people these days, both men and women and even more at later development of green

This problem that you have instantly dissipates if you start meeting higher consciousness people. Both for friendship and for finding a mate

Edited October 12, 2023 by Hello from Russia

[Whitney Edwards]

6 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

@mr_engineer You seem to demonize women, mate

Of course there are some egostistical and narcissistic women just like there are a lot of such men, but it's not that bad

It is a deeper problem and the problem is that 95-99% of people are deeply unconscious, doesn't matter men/women

The solution in my opinions to seek higher consciosness partners, Why do you want to date these crazy stage orange-blue people anyway? There are so many yellow+ people these days, both men and women and even more at later development of green

This problem that you have instantly dissipates if you start meeting higher consciousness people. Both for friendship and for finding a mate

I wholeheartedly agree with this statement. 

[mr_engineer]

14 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

@mr_engineer You seem to demonize women, mate

Of course there are some egostistical and narcissistic women just like there are a lot of such men, but it's not that bad

It is a deeper problem and the problem is that 95-99% of people are deeply unconscious, doesn't matter men/women

The solution in my opinions to seek higher consciosness partners, Why do you want to date these crazy stage orange-blue people anyway? There are so many yellow+ people these days, both men and women and even more at later development of green

This problem that you have instantly dissipates if you start meeting higher consciousness people. Both for friendship and for finding a mate

That's not the problem at hand. (And, for the record, I don't demonize women.) 

The problem at hand is that we don't seem to agree on the level of delusion of feminism of the past 10 years. 

Even David Deida is not immune to this. Even he thinks that 'men grow by criticism, women grow by approval'. He's supposed to be at Stage Green, right?! He's seen as a better alternative to someone like Andrew Tate (which he undoubtedly is, don't get me wrong) but this is something that limits even him. 

Criticize the women for once. And watch them grow! That's all I'm saying. It's not 'demonization'. If you think that this is 'misogynistic', that's simp-conditioning. (By the way, the whole point of calling you 'misogynistic' is to condition you to be a simp, to put women on a pedestal, because women can do no wrong.) 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Hello from Russia]

2 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

That's not the problem at hand. (And, for the record, I don't demonize women.) 

The problem at hand is that we don't seem to agree on the level of delusion of feminism of the past 10 years. 

Even David Deida is not immune to this. Even he thinks that 'men grow by criticism, women grow by approval'. He's supposed to be at Stage Green, right?! He's seen as a better alternative to someone like Andrew Tate (which he undoubtedly is, don't get me wrong) but this is something that limits even him. 

Criticize the women for once. And watch them grow! That's all I'm saying. It's not 'demonization'. If you think that this is 'misogynistic', that's simp-conditioning. 

The context is very different, imo

We should criticize feminism as movement for sure, just like every other movement

However in a intimate relationship with masculine/femine dynamic using too much criticism on your woman brings the opposite of wanted effect. That is what Deida is alluding to

If you date a very pro-feminist activist woman who is in her masculine and she likes to be that way - I guess then it's fine, you treat her more like a man if she so desires

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

The context is very different, imo

We should criticize feminism as movement for sure, just like every other movement

However in a intimate relationship with masculine/femine dynamic using too much criticism on your woman brings the opposite of wanted effect. That is what Deida is alluding to

If you date a very pro-feminist activist woman who is in her masculine and she likes to be that way - I guess then it's fine, you treat her more like a man if she so desires

In this podcast, they talk about why women criticize men. And, their conclusion, is that it works for women! Women would work on it immediately if you criticized them. But, to a man, it feels like a rejection. That's why it doesn't work for men. 

And no, you're not allowed to criticize feminist women, it's against their rules, cuz 'MISOGYNEE'. You don't criticize them, you take action against them. You boycott them. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Whitney Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

In this podcast, they talk about why women criticize men. And, their conclusion, is that it works for women! Women would work on it immediately if you criticized them. But, to a man, it feels like a rejection. That's why it doesn't work for men. 

That's not true. In fact women are highly triggered when you criticize them. 

[mr_engineer]

1 minute ago, Buck Edwards said:

That's not true. In fact women are highly triggered when you criticize them. 

Of course, if you personally attack someone, anyone will be triggered. I'm talking about criticizing their actions, regulating their actions. It seems to be that women want that from men. And that feminists have brainwashed them into believing that 'that's toxic masculinity'. This is a right you get as a leader, not just as a 'man'. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Whitney Edwards]

Just now, mr_engineer said:

Of course, if you personally attack someone, anyone will be triggered. I'm talking about criticizing their actions, regulating their actions. It seems to be that women want that from men. 

Women want leadership not control, like Leo said. Haven't you watched Leo's videos on how to get laid. 

[mr_engineer]

3 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Women want leadership not control, like Leo said. Haven't you watched Leo's videos on how to get laid. 

This is 'leadership'. You set the rules as the leader, cuz the initiative is yours. And, what I'm saying, is that you should set them according to your boundaries. 

There are a lot of women who criticize men for asking them 'what do you bring to the table?'. They say, you're supposed to directly set expectations and you're supposed to regulate us on whether we're meeting them or not! And that that's how you assert your boundaries. When you ask the table-question, that's a flip in polarity. 

Edited October 12, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Whitney Edwards]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

This is 'leadership'. You set the rules as the leader, cuz the initiative is yours. And, what I'm saying, is that you should set them according to your boundaries. 

There are a lot of women who criticize men for asking them 'what do you bring to the table?'. They say, you're supposed to directly set expectations and you're supposed to regulate us on whether we're meeting them or not! 

There's a difference between leading and commanding. You seem to favor the latter.