Getting what I want

[spinderella]

Hi all!

I've been on a spiritual path for some years, and often feel blocked. I have a very strong will, and am very often trying quite hard to get what I want. Even through spiritual means, I still want to get what I want. 

My therapist (who trains with Rupert Spira, and whom I believe has had his own spiritual awakening) has suggested to me that maybe I don't know what I want. I have LOTS of ideas about what I think I want. And, I am most certainly not happy when I don't get what I want. 

Having tried 85000 means to get what I want and not finding happiness, I want to be ready to stop trying to hard to make the world comply to my desires. 

And....I guess I don't know HOW to do that. So what, do I just live? What about all my fears? What about all my worries? What about my impulses to take frantic action toward what I want to achieve?

I guess my question is...how do you actually live from a surrendered place? I like how Michael Singer talks about staying open, just saying "yes" to life, basically. Curious what this group would say. 

[AerisVahnEphelia]

Are you sure that you'll feel complete once you've reached and fulfilled all your dreams?

[BlueOak]

Receptivity is a key for a spiritual path. Seeking then allowing. Surrender needs to come to the outcome, not the act of seeking or doing in the first place. Surrendering while also expecting just sets you up for a conflicting failure.

If we are talking about seeking spiritual experiences, you have to cultivate a state of being receptive but not expecting or being passive. A deeper understanding is that all things are spiritual experiences as there is no separation from mind/body/spirit but what we define.

I want to thank you for bringing this up, as i've been asking myself how I head back towards seeking a turquoise state again and focus less on method or systems. Gratitude

[Yimpa]

What you want is connection. If your connection is solely based on what others can give you to make you happy, then you’re going to run into a lot of problems down the road.

You will be empowered when you make decisions based on your own intuition, rather than someone else telling you what to do. Do you really want to be a puppet on strings being controlled all the time?

Learn to make challenging decisions in your life that suck in the short-term, but will make you more empowered and free in the long-term.

[itsadistraction]

Give up your desires, even the desire to give up all your desires. 

[Yimpa]

8 minutes ago, itsadistraction said:

Give up your desires, even the desire to give up all your desires. 

Giving up desires is silly. You can learn to make more values-based decisions in your life rather than chasing desires that, in the long-term, keep you stuck in sorrow and regret. 

[njuufa]

On 10/9/2023 at 11:41 PM, spinderella said:

 has suggested to me that maybe I don't know what I want. I have LOTS of ideas about what I think I want. And, I am most certainly not happy when I don't get what I want. 

So when therapist said You dont know what you want, you jumped at them? So you never listened to them? You should have, you could have get what you wanted .

[An young being]

On 10/10/2023 at 2:11 AM, spinderella said:

 guess my question is...how do you actually live from a surrendered place? I like how Michael Singer talks about staying open, just saying "yes" to life, basically. Curious what this group would say. 

List all the things that you think you want and answer the questions:

1. Is it within your reach or do you have limited probability of attaining it?

2. Is it a materialistic want (big car, house, luxury items) or experential want(travelling, better lifestyle,etc.)?

If your answer is within your reach and experential, you don't have to give up your desires or wants.

If not, here are some insights that can help you move over those desires:

1. What you think your happiness levels will become after you achieve something will not be the actual happiness you get when you achieve it and it fades away sooner than you think.

2. No matter what you do in life, you will always be undergoing a cycle of happiness and suffering. The levels may change but over a long period, it becomes balanced. So, instead of chasing happiness, it's better to chase peace.

3. How selfish are those wants for you? Does it impact only you or anybody else or many people? Or do you do it out of your desire to help?Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. You can pursue the ones which are closer to being selfless, and leave the rest. Such wants will give you happiness even if you don't succeed entirely. And the universe will allow you to succeed in them.

4. Focus more on experiences if you are chasing happiness. Choose the path which you are the most passionate about to reach your wants. 

[Sincerity]

Connect to God and follow Him instead of yourself.

Don't be afraid. His guidance is infinitely more intelligent than your judgment. You will get all that You want, and more.

How? I don't know your way. Do as your intuition is telling You. Be mindful. Be courageous. Be humble. Do the right thing, for You.

What worked for me so far: psychedelics, a lot of journaling, dream work, meditation, striving to be good and to do the right thing in my life. Don't underestimate the last one.

Edited October 11, 2023 by Sincerity

[UnbornTao]

What do you want? Why do you want it? Create a strategy aligned with your purpose and from that establish specific goals. Move towards your desired direction little by little.

People pursue their wants even without spirituality. Happiness can occur for you whether one's desires are achieved or not. What is happiness?

Edited October 18, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Razard86]

13 hours ago, UnbornTao said:

Even without spirituality, people want to get what they want. 

Get clear: What do you want? Set out goals for yourself and move consistently towards your desired direction. Make a commitment to master something. I assume you're talking about life purpose and goals, not just impulsive desires.

I suggest that even if you somehow end up getting everything you want -- which is an ideal -- you won't find happiness. You're looking in the wrong place.

A better question to ask is What is happiness?

Unfortunately the steps can't be skipped. You can tell them that but they won't believe you. Better they discover through getting it that it won't make them happy.

[UnbornTao]

On 12/10/2023 at 4:17 PM, Razard86 said:

Unfortunately the steps can't be skipped. You can tell them that but they won't believe you. Better they discover through getting it that it won't make them happy.

It hasn't up to this point, so it wouldn't be difficult to extrapolate.

Edited October 18, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Merkabah Star]

On 10/10/2023 at 7:41 AM, spinderella said:

I am most certainly not happy when I don't get what I want. 

Having tried 85000 means to get what I want and not finding happiness, I want to be ready to stop trying too hard to make the world comply to my desires. 

You sound like you are blocking yourself by trying too hard. You will never find happiness that way.

let go of trying to control everything. It’s a dead end street. 

 

[TheCloud]

What sort of activities do you see as a "waste of time"?