Found a new way of socializing

[Javfly33]

Some of you guys read some of my dramatic topics of some weeks ago regarding a girl I went on a date with. The following weeks after losing contact with this girl I got triggered by a deep trauma. I no longer could numb or eliminate this pain/feeling so I had to feel it fully. I realized I need to look at this pain, observe it, feel it, don't have fear of it.

Following weeks I've realized the awkwardness, shame or anxiety with people in certain situations, was actually just things that were covering this pain.

I realized "social anxiety" is just anxiety of not feeling that pain, those beliefs of unworthiness.

So basically after this realization I have lost all fear (or at least, I would say 90%) of feeling that pain. This weeks the way I relate and speak to people has shifted. I am in an open state, I just completely open and feel that pain trauma in the stomach when I'm with people, and since I'm completely surrendered to it, I speak freely and without any trait of shame or awkwardness. Even my voice has completely changed in this weeks. I have a voice more masculine and confident now.

I don't how things will continue but the future seems bright. A shift happened and this seems like a superpower. I don't feel I need any more techniques or personal development tools anymore. Just opening myself more and more to this pain, observe it, feel it, surrender to the feeling. 

If some of you guys have this type of trauma with relating with people I would advice you be very honest with that you are feeling, don't be scared of going deep into the pain, open yourself, go 100% on to it, don't be scared of the fear of the mind that tells you "you can't feel this, you need to avoid feeling this, I'm just protecting you".

No no no. Those are just tricks. You need to see what is there. You need to feel that pain, you need to see who you are. Don't be tricked by the mind. Trust the heart.

[Javfly33]

@flowboy you might like reading this brother.

Edited October 6, 2023 by Javfly33

[flowboy]

You got to the TRUTH!

Behind all anxiety, obsessiveness, addictions, and other neuroticisms.

They're side effects of defending against PAIN rising up.

Be willing to feel the pain... you win.

You become authentic.

Indeed you become more attractive, your voice could change, heck I've even read of people's hands and feet and tits (women) growing who have done deep feeling therapy for years. Holding back trauma had halted their puberty.

Be willing to feel, and you become who you were always supposed to be.

Much luck on this path.

Well done.

Edited October 6, 2023 by flowboy

[Yimpa]

Great work. Let’s keep opening up! 

[cjoseph90]

Great post. This resonated with me. I need to fully feel to heal' but easier said than done. Silly question How do you Focus on the pain, emotions? I try to but mind drifts off thinking of other things. Scatterbrained when in meditation

Edited October 6, 2023 by cjoseph90

[Yimpa]

16 minutes ago, cjoseph90 said:

I need to fully feel to heal' but easier said than done.

You don’t need to fully feel. Setting an unattainable goal or expectation is a trap for disappointment.  

[Princess Arabia]

Always nice to see people growing and blossoming out of their shell. Sharing these experiences may be of help to others going through the same thing. 

[Growly]

@flowboy "Be willing to feel the pain... you win." good top tier wisdom but easier said than done

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Growly said:

@flowboy "Be willing to feel the pain... you win." good top tier wisdom but easier said than done

Just start with small things. I’m at a concert just observing people acting like idiots. Makes the experience less painful

[petar8p]

On 06. 10. 2023. at 0:44 PM, Javfly33 said:

Some of you guys read some of my dramatic topics of some weeks ago regarding a girl I went on a date with. The following weeks after losing contact with this girl I got triggered by a deep trauma. I no longer could numb or eliminate this pain/feeling so I had to feel it fully. I realized I need to look at this pain, observe it, feel it, don't have fear of it.

Following weeks I've realized the awkwardness, shame or anxiety with people in certain situations, was actually just things that were covering this pain.

I realized "social anxiety" is just anxiety of not feeling that pain, those beliefs of unworthiness.

So basically after this realization I have lost all fear (or at least, I would say 90%) of feeling that pain. This weeks the way I relate and speak to people has shifted. I am in an open state, I just completely open and feel that pain trauma in the stomach when I'm with people, and since I'm completely surrendered to it, I speak freely and without any trait of shame or awkwardness. Even my voice has completely changed in this weeks. I have a voice more masculine and confident now.

I don't how things will continue but the future seems bright. A shift happened and this seems like a superpower. I don't feel I need any more techniques or personal development tools anymore. Just opening myself more and more to this pain, observe it, feel it, surrender to the feeling. 

If some of you guys have this type of trauma with relating with people I would advice you be very honest with that you are feeling, don't be scared of going deep into the pain, open yourself, go 100% on to it, don't be scared of the fear of the mind that tells you "you can't feel this, you need to avoid feeling this, I'm just protecting you".

No no no. Those are just tricks. You need to see what is there. You need to feel that pain, you need to see who you are. Don't be tricked by the mind. Trust the heart.

Man this is a big fucking success! Congratulations.. 

What you've done is very rare and is an only way to go. I'm so proud bro <3

[The0Self]

@Javfly33 Wow, you got it. Yeah, social anxiety is basically a refusal of the psyche to get real. Pain happens when there is connection. When there’s no connection, there’s no pain but there is anxiety.