If you don't have a woman... you kind of forget that you're a man

[ivankiss]

And vice versa.

It's good if you're capable of being a fully functional person without a partner. You most certainly should acquire the skills necessary to be a fully independent, thriving, centered individual. You should also definitely face your fear of loneliness, fear of not meeting anyone, not having a family, etc. You should definitely spend some quality time on your own, figuring your shit out, figuring yourself out, your life, your purpose, etc.

But, once you kind of sort of have all your ducks in line, the natural impulse should be to find a compatible partner to share all the joys and horrors of this life with. Someone who will stick around, through thick and thin. Someone who's not just kind of along for the ride. Because (and I cannot stress this enough) living a life and making big life decisions with the wrong person can and most likely will be disastrous. The damage could be irreversible. And then you and all your dreams and visions and goals are fucked. Done. Nonexistent.

If you, however, swing too hard in the other direction, and get a bit too comfortable in your solitude and become one of those super annoying, hyper independent individuals that are terrified of losing control and cannot be reasoned or negotiated with... then yeah, you're also fucked. You're gonna grow into this old, bitter, lonely ghost, that knows not of its own existence and fears the closeness of another soul. 

You don't want to be stuck in a vicious cycle of jumping from relationship to relationship and never really taking time to introspect, heal and grow, but you also don't want to be isolated for too long and forget what it's like to feel the touch of another and everything else that comes with it. As with pretty much everything, you're looking for that balance. The middle way. The sweet spot.

Quality time on your own. And then seeking quality partners and forming strong bonds.

You want to be good at all that relationship biz. You want to be a good partner, deep down, trust me. Even if you don't think you do.

You need a partner. You crave a good partner that meets your criteria and is compatible with you and has similar values and standards, and is available and willing to do what has to be done, etc. Preferably one that you also find very sexually attractive and all that jazz.

You are not really a man without a woman by your side. You know that's true. And the other way around. Women need men by their side. It's simply how we as a species are wired.

Be careful out there, it's rather wild. 

But do participate. There is no other way.

Edited October 3, 2023 by ivankiss

[Yimpa]

7 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

You're gonna grow into this old, bitter, lonely ghost, that knows not of its of existence and fears the closeness of any other soul. 

Reading me like a book, I see 

[Tenebroso]

Life isn't fair, there is not someone for everyone. Does not mean one should not try but all the wonderful things in life are not handed out evenly.

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

handed out evenly

Why are you just expecting wonderful things to be handed out to you?

That's not a good way to view life, especially as a guy.

Edited October 3, 2023 by something_else

[Tenebroso]

@something_else Did you not read the post? I clearly said life is not fair but you should try anyway. Are you trying to be obtuse?

[Spiral]

Being a man is about having the bits that counts. That’s all there is to it.

However yes you’ll be happier in a good relationship.

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

Reading me like a book, I see 

I know the struggle my man.

[universe]

You might want to drop that desire to become a real man and become a real woman finally.

❤️

[ivankiss]

Just now, universe said:

You might want to drop that desire to become a real man and become a real woman finally.

❤️

I am very comfortable with my feminine side. I just don't want to be anywhere close to a penis. Sometimes my girlfriend says I'm homophobic. Which I really think I'm not. I just have bad experience with gay dudes trying to force a dick down my throat, because 'how can you know you don't like it if you don't try?'.

So fucking stupid. But yeah, there's that.

[something_else]

46 minutes ago, Tenebroso said:

@something_else Did you not read the post? I clearly said life is not fair but you should try anyway. Are you trying to be obtuse?

No, I'm not. Maybe I misunderstood your point. 

I interpreted your post as meaning that you believe most wonderful things in life can only be handed out to you, and not earned.

[universe]

My girlfriend says she is not interested in anything bi, and I can see why. Because I feel the same way. Still, I am very much aware of the fact that I'm bullshitting myself 

[Tenebroso]

@something_else Your comprehension is lacking.

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, Tenebroso said:

Life isn't fair, there is not someone for everyone. Does not mean one should not try but all the wonderful things in life are not handed out evenly.

Life is fair precisely because it is unfair. The Universe is neutral and impersonal. Interpret it as you wish.

 

[ivankiss]

32 minutes ago, universe said:

My girlfriend says she is not interested in anything bi, and I can see why. Because I feel the same way. Still, I am very much aware of the fact that I'm bullshitting myself 

For me it's the other way around. My girlfriend is bi and she's trying to make me question my sexuality, when I'm absolutely sure that I don't like dick. I can appreciate a good looking, high value man - I'm not blind. I'm just really not gay. Like zero sexual attraction to the same sex. And I'm tired of people shaming me for being straight. Is that a thing? Straight shaming? 

But yeah. My girlfriend is the one who's bullshitting over here lol.

[NoSelfSelf]

1.Title is a complete fail

2.Being hyper independent and not negotiating less than you decide that your value and standard is,is not being fucked its the opposite...

3.Cant be lonely when you are good with yourself

[Sugarcoat]

You forget if you were never one to begin with

[NoSelfSelf]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

You forget if you were never one to begin with

This is top comment ☝☝

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, NoSelfSelf said:

This is top comment ☝☝

It just came to me from nowhere seemingly . Makes sense somehow 

[NoSelfSelf]

2 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

It just came to me from nowhere seemingly . Makes sense somehow 

Now i understand where wise people come from ? this makes no sense somehow (copy/paste)...

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

Now i understand where wise people come from ? this makes no sense somehow (copy/paste)...

No it doesn’t