Hurt others' ego as much as possible

[Yimpa]

12 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

There’s also no need to force others unwillingly to be part of our own bubble of reality, and vice versa.

Of course, there are times to help ground others and make sure they’re not going way over their heads, but generally speaking we tend to go overboard with attacking others’ point of view and it becomes pathological. 

[Carl-Richard]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

I took a very brief look at it and it's more related to childhood trauma and it's impact on people's future violence, victimization and cognitive development, not being smaller and dumber, that's the statement we're referring to. 

I don't think Razard86 was only referring to that.

[Bobby_2021]

Worrying about the ego of others is a huge distraction.

 

[An young being]

6 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Worrying about the ego of others is a huge distraction.

 

The same could be said about worrying whether my words will hurt others. And that's what I suggest too. Don't worry about hurting others' ego as long as your points are unique and constructive.( During a conversation related to Spirituality)

Edited October 5, 2023 by An young being

[vibv]

12 minutes ago, An young being said:

The same could be said about worrying whether my words will hurt others. And that's what I suggest too. Don't worry about hurting others' ego as long as your points are unique and constructive.( During a conversation related to Spirituality)

Just imagine that it is yourself with whom you're speaking and interacting. Everything you do, all joy you bring into the world and all pain you inflict always only affects yourself.

That doesn't mean you have to be always nice. Some tough love is needed sometimes, but not out of personal enjoyment but out of the sincere desire to help others grow.

If that's your goal you always have to ask yourself if what you do is achieving that or if it's only your ego playing games. It will never be easy. If it's easy you should question your approach.

[An young being]

3 minutes ago, vibv said:

Just imagine that it is yourself with whom you're speaking and interacting. Everything you do, all joy you bring into the world and all pain you inflict always only affects yourself.

That doesn't mean you have to be always nice. Some tough love is needed sometimes, but not out of personal enjoyment but out of the sincere desire to help others grow.

If that's your goal you always have to ask yourself if what you do is achieving that or if it's only your ego playing games. It will never be easy. If it's easy you should question your approach.

If we derive personal enjoyment out of that seeing people getting hurt, we could very well be called sadistic. But we could enjoy or feel happy when the same person affected becomes more tolerant to other's ideas because of that action.

[UnbornTao]

Hurting others is rarely done for their own benefit; it is an attempt at personal anger relief, perhaps. Helping them is a different matter.

You should be clear on your motivation for acting that way. Be honest. Why do you actually want to hurt others? Don't you think there's a more effective approach? How would you feel and react if treated the way you profess?

You may be angry or resentful, and are perhaps looking for a pretext to let your impulses loose.

Edited October 5, 2023 by UnbornTao

[An young being]

17 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Don't pretend that hurting others is done for their benefit, it is not the same as helping them. 

You should be clear on your motivation for acting that way. Why do you want to hurt others? You are angry for some reason, and perhaps are looking for a pretext to let your impulse loose. Be honest.

If I had a strong ego, I am never going to be honest. If I didn't, and I am honest, it will be hard to believe with seeing so much ego around you. So, unfortunately I can't answer this. But, I can assure you it is entirely possible for someone to hurt others' ego without the motivation being anger.

[Yimpa]

3 hours ago, An young being said:

If we derive personal enjoyment out of that seeing people getting hurt, we could very well be called sadistic.

Hurting others in an unconscious and unwise way is not pleasurable, it is torture. 

3 hours ago, An young being said:

But we could enjoy or feel happy when the same person affected becomes more tolerant to other's ideas because of that action.

Forcing your perspective onto others without considering their perspective works only in the short-term. 

Consider that they only appear to be more tolerant of others’ ideas out of obligation and defeat, rather than genuine openness and receptiveness. 

[An young being]

14 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Hurting others in an unconscious and unwise way is not pleasurable, it is torture. 

Forcing your perspective onto others without considering their perspective works only in the short-term. 

Consider that they only appear to be more tolerant of others’ ideas out of obligation and defeat, rather than genuine openness and receptiveness. 

We are considering their perspective, guessing it is not correct, and then only we are opposing it vehemently. That's why I told we should be aware of our own ego while doing so.

I agree that it's just an idea with many issues, but still it's another not-so-evil-as-you-think way to play in the world. People here vehemently opposing this idea itself is an example of my suggested method. That atleast triggered me to defend it with more points that I think was valid, leading to more discussions, even if it didn't reduce my ego. That's the main purpose of a forum, especially spiritual, I hope.

Edited October 5, 2023 by An young being

[Bobby_2021]

6 hours ago, An young being said:

The same could be said about worrying whether my words will hurt others. And that's what I suggest too. Don't worry about hurting others' ego as long as your points are unique and constructive.( During a conversation related to Spirituality)

The problem is that there would be repercussions for hurting other people's ego. It almost never works in your favour. You will only make your life more difficult because actions will have consequences. 

[An young being]

1 minute ago, Bobby_2021 said:

The problem is that there would be repercussions for hurting other people's ego. It almost never works in your favour. You will only make your life more difficult because actions will have consequences. 

How we face the consequences can determine whether we have kept our own ego in check or not. 

[Bobby_2021]

9 minutes ago, An young being said:

How we face the consequences can determine whether we have kept our own ego in check or not. 

Regardless, it's foolish to subject yourself to the negative consequences and it will only lead to more suffering for you. 

It's desirable to never face these consequences at all. Those you hurt will find ways to hurt you as well. And you might not feel nice. 

[An young being]

17 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Regardless, it's foolish to subject yourself to the negative consequences and it will only lead to more suffering for you. 

It's desirable to never face these consequences at all. Those you hurt will find ways to hurt you as well. And you might not feel nice. 

Hmm.

[Carl-Richard]

On 5.10.2023 at 0:01 AM, Yimpa said:

I have not (perhaps you can link it!)

https://nochildabuse.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/acestudytrifold-2.pdf

 

You can read the full study here: Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study.

Only 20652 citations on Google Scholar 

Edited October 8, 2023 by Carl-Richard

[Razard86]

On 10/3/2023 at 6:34 AM, Harsh Bagdia said:

I get what you are saying. 

I and you are actually on the same page here. 

I too believe hurting others superiority ego is good for them and myself and everyone when we truly have great insights. 

 

What I am doing is using the framing of Ego Itself To Challenge The Ego.

I believe I will become the most selfish being in this entire universe♾️?

 

In my view,

Advanced Spiritual Beings Are Most Selfish Beings There Exists?

Their definition of self is universal. 

So in their experience, everything is themselves.

 

So in that sense highest selflessness is highest selfishness. 

?

 

You may have this question that why I am using this kind of framing?? 

It is because of abuse that happens in the name of spirituality. 

I have seen so called "Gurus" who teach non-duality (there's no self..there's no doer... become the watcher...desire is bad and etc etc) 

While those teachings may be right from a certain perspective, it is dangerous to those who are at low levels of ego development (to whom they mostly teach(young students, women)). 

What they need is regular self-help teachings and move through the stages of development. 

And spirituality must be taught to them in a different fashion than traditional no-self and Neo-Advaita. 

 

I use such statements (like I am selfish) only to challenge such gurus. 

 

I appreciate this conversation between us?

It has helped to bring more clarity to my mind. 

I hope it does the same for you too. 

 

Namaste

 

PS: Adiyogi statue is just damn awesome, no? I have visited the Ashram just 2 times and have fallen in love with Adiyogi

 

Very true. I think sometimes though the Gurus do not know this. I had to learn through my own direct experience that you are not going to awaken God through one of its humans faster than is necessary and that just like we have stages of education we have stages of development. A Guru needs to have the discernment to know when a student is serious versus when one is playing around. 

P.S. Did you meditate at the statue or did you just visit it?

Edited October 24, 2023 by Razard86

[Yimpa]

I’ve hurt people’s feelings this past month, people I truly care about.

You will regret doing it. But please learn from your mistakes quickly so you break the cycle. 

Forgiveness and letting go is the next step, and not expecting or needing anything back in return. 

Edited October 24, 2023 by Yimpa

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, Yimpa said:

I’ve hurt people’s feelings this past month, people I truly care about.

You will regret doing it. But please learn from your mistakes quickly so you break the cycle. 

Forgiveness and letting go is the next step, and not expecting or needing anything back in return. 

Sometimes you have to hurt feelings if you demonize hurting the feelings of others....you will not be able to honest with them. The only thing we are here to master is balance. Sometimes you hurt feelings to tell them something they need to hear, sometimes its not the right time to tell them. Any form of criticism or critique is going to create negative emotion. But the issue with trying to suppress this is it always backfires.

This is why it is better to learn how to respectfully communicate your feelings and be strong enough to take the negative backlash that comes with it. It is easier to say it than do it, but it is a necessary part of life and a sign of maturity. God made humans stubborn for a reason, so we can learn that pain comes in every relationship. It's unavoidable.