How to stop absorbing other people's energy?

[Farnaby]

Hi! When I'm around people I tend to automatically read their emotional state and it often throws me out of balance. Often, if I sense that someone is uncomfortable I start to feel very uncomfortable and ungrounded. Then, the more ungrounded I become, the more I start to focus on subtle signs of distress in other people and it becomes a vicious cycle. This doesn't always happen but sometimes it's so intense that I'm completely drained afterwards and need a lot of alone time to recharge. 

If anyone else experiences this, how do you manage it? Thank you!

[Salvijus]

I don't think you can desensitise yourself from feeling other people's emotions because all minds are joined anyways. All you can do is become obnoxious and unconscious by becoming drunk or smth. But obviously that's not what I would recommend doing:D

Anyhow, it's probably better to embrace what you feel regardless if it's coming from you or from others. By bringing the presence of peace to whatever you feel, you bring these energies to harmony and you help others to get there aswell. So you become like a frequency holder or a healer. That's good. Spoiler alert ? That's what you were born to do. Bye ? 

 

Edited September 30, 2023 by Salvijus

[Farnaby]

19 hours ago, Salvijus said:

By bringing the presence of peace to whatever you feel, you bring these energies to harmony and you help others to get there aswell. So you become like a frequency holder or a healer.

Thank you! I think this is the key, although it's really hard to do sometimes because my nervous system often reacts very strongly and automatically when I notice the distress in someone else. I think I need to keep working on relaxing/allowing it when this happens instead of trying to control it because that only makes me more anxious.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Farnaby

[Salvijus]

2 hours ago, Farnaby said:

although it's really hard to do sometimes

True true

2 hours ago, Farnaby said:

think I need to keep working on allowing it when this happens

This.

Takes time to cultivate the necessary capacity to do it tho. 

Edited October 1, 2023 by Salvijus

[Merkabah Star]

Experienced that most of my life. You have to start taking control of it. You need boundaries. You need to support and protect yourself too. Not sure if you believe or are into a guardian Angel around you? Or spirit guides? I would imagine my guardian Angel covering my whole body and creating a protection grid around me, so would do that a few times a day.  Buy some sage and burn that every day too, especially after having that overwhelmed experience and just sit there in a meditation pose and light the sage and say anything that is not mine, anything that is not my true light being I release to the love and light of god, or if that word doesn’t resonate, say the universe. 
 

I could go on all day about this. 

 

[Merkabah Star]

And to add, I would say you are a healer and an energy reader. Get yourself sorted and protected before trying to help other people, as tempting as it is when you see their deepest problems. 

[Yimpa]

What about when you’re by yourself? Do you ever experience emotional distress then?

[Farnaby]

9 hours ago, Merkabah Star said:

Not sure if you believe or are into a guardian Angel around you? Or spirit guides?

Hi! No, I don't really believe in these things, but maybe I can visualize some kind of comforting "energy" instead.

How did you gain control over it?

2 hours ago, Yimpa said:

What about when you’re by yourself? Do you ever experience emotional distress then?

Yes, sometimes, but to a lesser degree and I can handle it a lot better. When I'm around other people it sometimes feels like over-stimulation, where their distress triggers my distress and it's hard for me to feel grounded. Around other people there's also the added stress of not wanting other people to notice that I'm struggling. 

[Merkabah Star]

20 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

Hi! No, I don't really believe in these things, but maybe I can visualize some kind of comforting "energy" instead.

How did you gain control over it?

 

Whatever resonates for you, that’s all  that matters.
 

Maybe just you affirming with words could help? Like saying I don’t want to read their emotional state or anything about them. You can say that in your head, in the moment, not out loud. And over time that can give you a bit more control in the situation. words are powerful. Command the space and energy. You are powerful.

me gaining control of it? I function better just living a clean life, being conscious of what food I eat. I’m a pretty strong spiritual artist so I have tools I use. I don’t think reading people’s energy is something you can fully switch off though, it’s just a natural part of who you are. It’s just controlling it without it controlling you, like how you are overwhelmed by it at times. 

 

 

[Farnaby]

4 hours ago, Merkabah Star said:

Maybe just you affirming with words could help? Like saying I don’t want to read their emotional state or anything about them. You can say that in your head, in the moment, not out loud

I had to laugh imagining myself saying it out loud when I'm with people  I think that could help, but sometimes reading their emotional state is automatic. What I can do is affirm what you said so that I don't hyperfixate on how they are feeling. Noticing but not focusing too much on it. 

4 hours ago, Merkabah Star said:

me gaining control of it? I function better just living a clean life, being conscious of what food I eat. I’m a pretty strong spiritual artist so I have tools

Thanks for sharing that. I do notice I'm more grounded when I live a clean life as well  

[Yimpa]

17 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

but sometimes reading their emotional state is automatic. What I can do is affirm what you said so that I don't hyperfixate on how they are feeling. Noticing but not focusing too much on it. 

Can you open your mind to the possibility that how you perceive others’ and your own feelings may not be accurate?

Edited October 2, 2023 by Yimpa

[Farnaby]

27 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Can you open your mind to the possibility that how you perceive others’ and your own feelings may not be accurate?

Oh that's definitely possible. When I'm calm I tend to notice more positive emotions in others and when I'm distressed it's the other way around. Is that what you mean?

Not so sure about my own feelings though. When I'm overwhelmed or anxious, I can clearly feel it. Could you expand on how my perception of my own feelings could be inaccurate?

[Yimpa]

55 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

When I'm calm I tend to notice more positive emotions in others and when I'm distressed it's the other way around. Is that what you mean?

The way I see it is that emotions are not a fixed, rule-based way. A simple example is that someone could appear happy, but deep inside they’re miserable.

Start to observe little moments in yourself when you’re also misaligned in such a way, without judgement. If judgements arise, also don’t buy into its stories. It’s not about finding something wrong with you, but rather, being open to experiencing emotions in a broader and more nuanced way.

My therapist once said that there are no rules surrounding feelings. Contemplate that.

Quote

Not so sure about my own feelings though. When I'm overwhelmed or anxious, I can clearly feel it. Could you expand on how my perception of my own feelings could be inaccurate?

Start by consciously facing your fears at least once a day (big or small, up to you) even if just for a few minutes. Sit with that fear as openly as you can. Notice your distress going up, but don’t try to remove it by doing what you’re used to doing. Go against your programming, so to speak, and you’ll be surprised what new information can come about.

 

[Farnaby]

@Yimpa Thank you, that's very helpful and it's kind of what I have been doing intuitively lately and you're right it's very healing  

[Ajax]

They didn't do anything. You did.

[Farnaby]

@Ajax What do you mean?

[Ajax]

4 hours ago, Farnaby said:

@Ajax What do you mean?

Who put those feelings of discomfort in you? Them or you?

[Farnaby]

@Ajax I would say my nervous system over-reacted to something I picked up in them. I don't think they put those feelings in me since I am the one experiencing them. It's just an automatic thing that happens, like a button that gets pushed and initiates a cascade of unpleasant sensations and thoughts. It's not something I chose to experience. 

Today the opposite happened. I was nervous at a doctor's appointment and the doctor's gentle/warm energy helped me settle down very quickly. She didn't "put" the calmness in me, but a rude/cold doctor would have probably made it very difficult for me to relax.

[Ajax]

18 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

It's just an automatic thing that happens, like a button that gets pushed and initiates a cascade of unpleasant sensations and thoughts. It's not something I chose to experience. 

Beautiful! Amazing observation! Thanks for sharing?