This boring place makes me so frustrated and depressed I put its poiso in my mouth

[at_anchor]

I don't really need a niche is the point. I need a job, any job and health. That is not possible because I am a target of vicious beasts that look innocent. So many of them. 

How on Earth, how on Earth can I find safety and health? It's not even financial independence anymore. I could have had that if I only knew that I'm standing in a very dangerous place with crazy people in power and that I have to leave this crazy place at all costs. Yeah, it looks normal on the surface and from the outside, probably, maybe, but it is not what it looks like. 

Oh my God, they can literally do just that and not only handicap you, but demonize you too, omg. I can't wait to die. I have so much to plan with God. These people have big tiomes Karma to pay. 

 

[at_anchor]

Sorry for writing so much today. It's just making me feel disgusted. Get me away from them. 

[at_anchor]

2 hours ago, at_anchor said:

which I'll attack someone for a good reason but without proof

I meant verbally and by complaining to maybe even court, but it's pointless, cause I'm set up to lose.

Edited October 3, 2023 by at_anchor

[Hello from Russia]

@at_anchor Yeah, dude, you need to get the fuck away no matter the cost, it kills you

[at_anchor]

@Hello from Russia It appears it killed me, I'm just bleeding out very slowly, sinking. Hard to escape. I tried sending a mail to court and reasoning my way out of here, but luckily the mail was not able to be sent. I would have made my case worse. It's over already. I don't think they'll ever let me go. Even if they do, I'm too poor and I don't have what I need to move to a first world country and stay there in safety. If I ever do make it there, I'll probably be kissing the ground every day.

Edited October 3, 2023 by at_anchor

[at_anchor]

It's fucking killing me, you're right. I wish I could get out of here, but I don't know where or how. 

What a fucking beautiful day and I have to be handicapped in pain and dirt, not use it fully. Is this the best my life is going be, is this how it's gonna pass? I'm not able to use my mind to learn, my body to work, my health is being stolen, my body is gonna be stolen forever. I have to let go of my phone and all hope. I have to let go and sink into the most disgusting shit in the world. 

[Hello from Russia]

Just set a dedline and do it, bro

[at_anchor]

On 10/3/2023 at 10:10 AM, at_anchor said:

a noble guy

sorry, my English is bad, I meant to say virtuous or something along these lines. I actually didn't make a mistake, I just googled noble vs virtuous, but for you who don't get it, yeah.

@Hello from Russia okay, I'm gonna set a deadline, I'm just unsure for when and where atm. Oh, how much I'd like to leave for, yeah, Ireland and the UK. Leaving for Spain is way better than staying here, it's just gonna be tough to survive even if I successfuly get there. I have the faith that I could learn enough Spanish in 6 months to interact with Spainards on a somewhat conversational level if my social anxiety and health don't get in the way of that. While picking a Germanic country to fly away to would require a lomger deadline, for even Scandinavians don't like talking with strangers in English, yet they are the most fluent English speaking nations outside the anglosphere.

I took some pills for the stomach yesterday and so it works better today. Sorry for the unconsciousness I spread with my posts yesterday. I was extremely tired and in pain.

Who knows, maybe I even have baby worms in my intestines so I'm like a mother now:) Abortion rights! I need an abortion. Maybe more than one. But I don't mind even if there was a snake in my stomach, or actually, I'd rather have snakes in my stomach than worms, yuck.

[at_anchor]

Anyway, I'm not doing the research necessary for finding a niche. It's a challenge. Maybe one day when I heal and become financially dependent but safer and stable and independent from my parents and corruption in my country. 

[Hello from Russia]

@at_anchor You will get by with English perfectly in Spain, dude. As long as you stay in big cities

[at_anchor]

44 minutes ago, Hello from Russia said:

@at_anchor You will get by with English perfectly in Spain, dude. As long as you stay in big cities

How can I stay in a big city when I'm poor, unsafe and unwell atm? In the best case scenario I'd spend all my money on that in a month. Will I be able to heal and fit into society there that fast? 

Hmm, maybe if I had clients for a freelancing business of giving therapeutic massages...but that can be tricky to accomplish.

Edited October 4, 2023 by at_anchor