There is something really wrong with findom and femdom.

[Javfly33]

Let's not normalize fetishes for the sake of it 

I'm sick of this psychopathic women normalizing this fetishes. There's no way is healthy for a man to kneel in front of a girl and handing them half of their month salary and then kissing their boots.

Thank god I never had fallen so low, but I must say I have sent hundreds of money to random women on the internet. For some reason the feeling of inferiority and humilating gets very pleasurable and exciting at that moment.

I have made peace with that and I have came to a conclusion if I had to fight that urge for the rest of my life (as a cronic alcoholic) that's what I will do.

My mission is to choose love and power, no matter how seductive and exciting the urges gets at some points. Submitting to weakness and self hate is not my mission of this life. Is power and winning the battle with the mind.

I also think the more success and relationships I have with women the less I will find attractive that crap. 

Society has totally fallen us if society defends femdom. 

Never after I had success with a girl, I had the urge to go practice femdom. Is only when you feel like crap within you want to get beaten. 

Fighting everyday ?? there's no other thing to do I guess 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Javfly33

[flowboy]

It's not their fault that you like that.

They're just supplying what there is demand for.

Yes, fetishes stem from early childhood repressed experiences.

Doesn't mean that they are "wrong" or "bad", or even shameful.

Read "The New Primal Scream" and you will understand.

Example: the guy who had a foot fetish all his life.

In primal therapy, being transported to being a small child, sitting under the table, hiding from the adults.

His mom wouldn't give him the attention, love or hugs that he desperately needed.

All he could see of her was her feet from under the table.

The spell was broken after that.

This is how it works with fetishes.

Once you retrieve the original memory, the spell is broken.

Works very similar to hypnotic commands.

[Schizophonia]

Chronically repressed CNS deihibition 

[Buck Edwards]

8 hours ago, Schizophonia said:

Chronically repressed CNS deihibition 

Makes sense. 

[Something Funny]

On 9/25/2023 at 4:55 PM, flowboy said:

Example: the guy who had a foot fetish all his life.

In primal therapy, being transported to being a small child, sitting under the table, hiding from the adults.

His mom wouldn't give him the attention, love or hugs that he desperately needed.

All he could see of her was her feet from under the table.

The spell was broken after that.

Sounds like an asspull

[Something Funny]

@Javfly33 I don't agree with Flowboy saying: "it's not their fault that you like that". I think that they are basically preying on people's traumas and mental disorders, which is really low in my opinion.

It's like saying that it is okay for big corporations to abuse human psychology and use whatever marketing and sales techniques they want. And say that it's not mcDonalds fault that people are addicted to junk food. Or that it's not facebooks / twitters / tik toks / instagrams fault that you are addicted to social media. 

That being said, there will always be those who prey on weak people. Like thieves who steal from old people or kids, or employers abusing their position of power. This is nothing new. And I don't think it's any different in this case.

Basocally, all you can do personally is to become strong enough.

[Javfly33]

24 minutes ago, Something Funny said:

@Javfly33 I don't agree with Flowboy saying: "it's not their fault that you like that". I think that they are basically preying on people's traumas and mental disorders, which is really low in my opinion.

It's like saying that it is okay for big corporations to abuse human psychology and use whatever marketing and sales techniques they want. And say that it's not mcDonalds fault that people are addicted to junk food. Or that it's not facebooks / twitters / tik toks / instagrams fault that you are addicted to social media. 

That being said, there will always be those who prey on weak people. Like thieves who steal from old people or kids, or employers abusing their position of power. This is nothing new. And I don't think it's any different in this case.

Basocally, all you can do personally is to become strong enough.

@flowboy is complicated. On one hand they have their part of trauma and psychopathic tendencies to be taking advantage of someone on a vulnerable situation or mental health crisis. On the other hand, I do believe ultimately the responsibility is of the individual, at the end of the day no one puts a gun to my head to contact one of this girls to get humilated.

So in summary I would say the responsibility is mine to change my attitude and behaviour, but it helps to explain the fact that this type of fetishes exist because there are also perpetrators on the other hand that are ready to take advantage of the situation.

Is similar to other things as the drug world. No drug dealer puts a gun to the head of the drug user to go use fentanyl, but at the same time it must be recognized that for that situation to happen it needs also someone with very low morals to be selling fentanyl.

It helps to explain, it doesn't mean that ultimately the responsibility is of the drug user.

[Javfly33]

On 25/9/2023 at 4:55 PM, flowboy said:

It's not their fault that you like that.

They're just supplying what there is demand for.

Yes, fetishes stem from early childhood repressed experiences.

Doesn't mean that they are "wrong" or "bad", or even shameful.

Read "The New Primal Scream" and you will understand.

Example: the guy who had a foot fetish all his life.

In primal therapy, being transported to being a small child, sitting under the table, hiding from the adults.

His mom wouldn't give him the attention, love or hugs that he desperately needed.

All he could see of her was her feet from under the table.

The spell was broken after that.

This is how it works with fetishes.

Once you retrieve the original memory, the spell is broken.

Works very similar to hypnotic commands.

Really? I would say foot fetish is related to low self esteem, shame energies, inferiority with women...etc.

Me myself I've found I'm not longer excited to that after some "consciousness" expansions in regards to my unhealthy relationship with women and fundamental disconnection.

[flowboy]

12 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Sounds like an asspull

There are many, many accounts like that. And I didn’t pull them out of my ass, I pulled them from books about trauma and healing.

[flowboy]

11 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

Really? I would say foot fetish is related to low self esteem, shame energies, inferiority with women...etc.

Also. Low self esteem, inferiority comes from not getting proper attention and care from one or both parents. This is always not remembered as such, because it is repressed. You can only dig it out doing regression work.

In those distressed moments of lacking love, this pain is saved up and stored, along with the memories. Inaccessible by the conscious mind in a normal state.

As an adult, this pain is pushing the adult to still get this need met, but it can’t be in a direct way because that reminds him too much of NOT being loved as a child. You can’t make up for the past. So the mind creates symbols of love: things that almost work.

They quench the subconscious thirst for a time. Those symbols will be based on an association with the original pain, but it will be far-fetched. Intentionally far-fetched because the trauma must be obfuscated.

So the one who lacked breastfeeding could become a smoker who can never seem to quit (this is me, I fetishise smoking) because a part of me thinks I’m getting the nurture I needed when I was 8 months by sucking on a cigarette or a pipe. The one who craved his mother’s attention but she ignored or rejected him when he was so little that he could only see her feet, could get a foot fetish. (There can be other backstories as well, the subconscious is creative!)

The one who didn’t get firm boundaries and proper masculine love as a child can start to like getting tied up, because that’s the ultimate form of being held firmly and cared for, in a twisted way. 
And the one whose mother was harsh to him when he needed love, can start to crave love through women being harsh and humiliating with him, because to get actual loving attention would remind the unconscious too much of what he didn’t get when it mattered most: therefore he won’t be able to fully take it in, perhaps be numb to it or compulsively run from it.

[flowboy]

More importantly, every subconscious has its own unique reasoning for creating these fetishes, they won’t be the same in everyone, but they will be a symbol, a metaphore for an unmet childhood need, the logic of which can be completely clear to the person after doing some (or a lot) of regression work. And this is the only way to break the spell. Once the pain has become conscious, there is no more need for the symbol.

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, flowboy said:

More importantly, every subconscious has its own unique reasoning for creating these fetishes, they won’t be the same in everyone, but they will be a symbol, a metaphore for an unmet childhood need, the logic of which can be completely clear to the person after doing some (or a lot) of regression work. And this is the only way to break the spell. Once the pain has become conscious, there is no more need for the symbol.

Interesting.

I haven't done regression work but have taken some big hits lately lol...I guess that also works for the pain to become conscious.

[flowboy]

@Javfly33 Yes, it does. The subconscious also has a way of making you take hits that force you to face some of that pain. I saw your thread about the thing with the girl and smoking, and then you sitting with that and facing it. Respect

[Javfly33]

5 minutes ago, flowboy said:

@Javfly33 Yes, it does. The subconscious also has a way of making you take hits that force you to face some of that pain. I saw your thread about the thing with the girl and smoking, and then you sitting with that and facing it. Respect

?Thanks, I'm slowly coming out of it and now and integrating the lesson. It has been like a 2 week long psychedelic trip lmao.

There's actually a woman on YouTube that does coaching about healing the inner child and literally says Reality works in a such a way that puts you people that will trigger or make you see some things you need to see. Kind of macabre but maybe is true. 

[Something Funny]

2 hours ago, flowboy said:

And I didn’t pull them out of my ass, I pulled them from books about trauma and healing.

Yeah, that's what I meant. It sounded like something a self-help book would say. They tend to provide simplistic, overly exaggerated examples to sell you their five steps to successful success. Things are way more subtle in real reality in my opinion.

 

14 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

@flowboy is complicated. On one hand they have their part of trauma and psychopathic tendencies to be taking advantage of someone on a vulnerable situation or mental health crisis. On the other hand, I do believe ultimately the responsibility is of the individual, at the end of the day no one puts a gun to my head to contact one of this girls to get humilated.

So in summary I would say the responsibility is mine to change my attitude and behaviour, but it helps to explain the fact that this type of fetishes exist because there are also perpetrators on the other hand that are ready to take advantage of the situation.

Is similar to other things as the drug world. No drug dealer puts a gun to the head of the drug user to go use fentanyl, but at the same time it must be recognized that for that situation to happen it needs also someone with very low morals to be selling fentanyl.

You have a power to change individually, sure. But what I am saying is that we, as a society, should hold such people responsible. And we do, to some degree. For example selling drugs is illegal. And so is selling alcohol or cigarettes to kids below 18 years old.

I have another example/question. Why is it not okay for an alcohol producer to claim that it's not their fault that some 12 year old kid wants to drink vodka with his friends and that they should have the right to sell it to them? What about a 17 year old? Why do we, as a society, protect children from harm in this way instead of just saying: "oh, whatever, it's the kids fault that he is dumb and wants to do drugs".

But then, somehow, magically, once the kid crosses 18 years, it's okay? He is on his own now? One day we protect him, and on the next day he can go and drink himself to death for all we care. Did something about a kid change in this one day? No, nothing actually changed, he didn't magically become more mature and responsible. Becoming 18 years old doesn't work like a level up in a video game. The only thing that changed is our subjective view of him.

Actually, it's the same with porn as it all supposed to be 18+. What if your underage kid went and gave 1000 bucks to some onlyfans girl, would you have said: "well it's not her fault that he likes findom or whatever"? No, you would have probably sued the shit out of her and out of the streaming platform.

But somehow once the kid get over 18 it suddenly becomes okay for him to be scammed and abused. And it becomes his own fault.

[Javfly33]

@Something Funny Yeah, absolutely. And this type of girls sometimes exhibir explicit psychopathic behaviour. They perfectly know most of his clients have mental health issues and even sometimes use it as a shame trigger to relapse with them. Is one of the most dangerous cruel people I´ve seen out there. 

[Something Funny]

@Javfly33

If you pretend to be a therapist, but don't actually have a license you can get into legal trouble.

If a therapist manipulates his mentally vulnerable patient and makes the patient give all of his belongings away to him, he can get into legal trouble.

If a nursing home abuses their elderly residents, they can get into legal trouble.

A porn addict, addicted to something like findom is arguably in a similarly vulnerable mental state. So I don't think it should be okay for them to be scammed out of their money.

[Something Funny]

2 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

@Something Funny Yeah, absolutely. And this type of girls sometimes exhibir explicit psychopathic behaviour. They perfectly know most of his clients have mental health issues and even sometimes use it as a shame trigger to relapse with them. Is one of the most dangerous cruel people I´ve seen out there. 

Unfortunately all the sex stuff is still taboo in our society and porn industry, as well as all of the digital stuff in general is too poorly regulated. The legislation simply sucks. So that's why such abuse is possible in my opinion.

[flowboy]

3 hours ago, Something Funny said:

Yeah, that's what I meant. It sounded like something a self-help book would say. They tend to provide simplistic, overly exaggerated examples to sell you their five steps to successful success. Things are way more subtle in real reality in my opinion.

Not a self-help book, a book describing the anatomy of trauma in the brain and tons of documented case studies and cited scientists. I can recommend you to read up on the science of trauma healing because you're the one talking out of your ass.

[Something Funny]

11 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Not a self-help book, a book describing the anatomy of trauma in the brain and tons of documented case studies and cited scientists. I can recommend you to read up on the science of trauma healing because you're the one talking out of your ass.

Look, I am sorry if I offended you, I didn't mean to. You are a nice person and I didn't mean to criticize you, just an example.

And come on, it is a shitty example. Feet under the table, seriously? How many people are going to be able to come up with such a clear, simple connection? And how do you know that this memory is all there is and there is nothing more contributing to the fetish.

And also, why would you even use a foot fetish as an example when the op is talking about findom? Findom can literally ruin your life.

What's wrong with foot fetish? How is it hurting anyone?

Who decided that liking feet is even a fetish? Like, feet are just another part of human body. They are not objectively uglier than breasts or ass or whatever, that's just cultural conditioning. Why is liking an ass considered okay and liking feet isn't?

If anything, rejecting a certain part of human body and thinking that it is ugly, or disgusting is more pathological than liking it, no?