First non dual experience

[Karmadhi]

Hello everyone

Today for the first time I took a high dose of magic shrooms and did a guided tour. It was in a dark room with a friend guiding  me and helping

At the height of the trip I saw butterflies. I focused on the butterfly and the butterfly opened its mouth and got closer to me. I felt strong emotions and I also opened my mouth. Opening the mouth allowed me to feel it deeper. The emotions (I think it was love) was so strong that my mouth could not physically open any more to receive more of it, my whole body felt limited in how much it could take. 

Then I saw the body get dismantled violently and slowly disappear. Afterwards I was just one with the butterfly and felt insane strong emotions with tears flowing down my face. This lasted for maybe 10 seconds. There was just being, no thinking, no body, just pure emotion. My face was soaking wet after from the tears.

I never experienced anything like this before, I did 1 year ago a shroom trip but it was way way weaker. 

A second time when the butterfly opened its mouth, I saw my body get physically streched and expanded.

During the whole trip I was barely thinking, I did not need to think. I just felt and intuitively communicated. My mind was totally shut down, logic was gone. 

I am trying to make sense of it. I assume the emotion was love because it felt beautiful and powerful. The tears were of happiness not sadness.

What did I experience exactly if you guys have spiritual terms for it?

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

What did I experience exactly if you guys have spiritual terms for it?

God's imagination.

Congrats!

Maybe next time it will be demons. Personally I'm a fan of demons and dragons 

Edited September 24, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Vincent S]

4 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

What did I experience exactly if you guys have spiritual terms for it?

 

Transformation. 

[Karmadhi]

11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

God's imagination.

Congrats!

Maybe next time it will be demons.

I always see butterflies, it is a theme with me. However what I felt was so profound I do not have words for it. The emotion was so intense that my body got dismemberer in order be able to feel all of the emotion, it basically transcended the body and even the mind. 

Face covered with tears, it was beautiful. I am still shocked about it.

Was it god s love I experienced? Is that what love with capital L is? Sorry for asking so much but I am still wondering about the whole thing.

8 hours ago, Vincent S said:

Transformation

Could you please elaborate? I am not familiar with the term.

[Leo Gura]

18 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I always see butterflies, it is a theme with me.

Demon butterflies!

18 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Was it god s love I experienced? Is that what love with capital L is?

A whiff of it. Or Beauty.

God is Infinite Beauty.

[Karmadhi]

10 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

A whiff of it. Or Beauty.

God is Infinite Beauty.

It felt like that, I did not know it was possible to experience it with shrooms, though DMT was required to go that deep. 

Now I feel a lot less insecure, anxious and overall more calm. My goal is to try to integrate what I felt in my daily life and work towards achieving similar things (although way weaker) through my daily meditation practice. We will see in the future.

I am reading that butterfly is a spirit animal that is about "transformation", which is interesting because I am trying to expand my personality and work towards finding my true authentic self.

I assume this is "been here done that" for you at this point but wanted to thank you for opening me up to the possibility of experiencing these things.

Thank you  

[Leo Gura]

3 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

It felt like that, I did not know it was possible to experience it with shrooms, though DMT was required to go that deep.

Any psychedelic can take you deeper than you can handle.

If you take 10g of mushrooms you will be in another universe. But it will also truamatize you.

Quote

I am reading that butterfly is a spirit animal that is about "transformation", which is interesting because I am trying to expand my personality and work towards finding my true authentic self.

That's a meaning you're creating. It can mean whatever you want it to mean.

Quote

Thank you  

Welcome

Edited September 24, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

I am reading that butterfly is a spirit animal that is about "transformation", which is interesting because I am trying to expand my personality and work towards finding my true authentic self.

Can also mean letting go of control and forgiving yourself. This is something I am working on in my own life.

 

[Karmadhi]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

If you take 10g of mushrooms you will be in another universe. But it will also truamatize you.

I took 15 grams of magic truffles because the first time I took 10 grams and although i felt some stuff, it was not that powerful. I think I have high natural tolerance because also weed barely works on me unless it is a high strong dose. . However it was not traumatizing at all, very beautiful and profound I would say. I feel like I temporarily went outside the matrix  Knowing all the theory about this stuff and having some lighter psychedelics experiences helped make sense of it.  

[Karmadhi]

5 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Can also mean letting go of control and forgiving yourself

I tend to be very harsh and demanding on myself so that would make sense. 

[Leo Gura]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

I took 15 grams of magic truffles because the first time I took 10 grams and although i felt some stuff, it was not that powerful.

Truffle dosing is totally different from mushrooms.

[Karmadhi]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

Truffle dosing is totally different from mushrooms.

Is there a conversion? So 1 gram of mushrooms is equivalent to X of truffles? What would be 15 grams of truffles worth in mushrooms so I have a vague idea.

[Arthogaan]

1 minute ago, Karmadhi said:

Is there a conversion? So 1 gram of mushrooms is equivalent to X of truffles? What would be 15 grams of truffles worth in mushrooms so I have a vague idea.

I think between 1.5g and 3g of dry shrooms depending on a lot of stuff. So not a narrow range.

[StarStruck]

32 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

Is there a conversion? So 1 gram of mushrooms is equivalent to X of truffles? What would be 15 grams of truffles worth in mushrooms so I have a vague idea.

Not all truffle strains are created equal. Some truffle strain is very strong and other are very weak. It is hard to compare it.