1.Demons in Me 2.Healthy Masculinity 3.Psy Trip Reports 4.Sexual vulnerability

[Buck Edwards]

I'm tired of wanting your approval. 

[Buck Edwards]

 

[Buck Edwards]

Rudolf Otto

"The best description of the divine to date is surely the German philosopher of religion Rudolf Otto’s classic 1917 book The Idea of the Holy. For Otto, the divine – or, to use his preferred term, the numinous – is something that presents itself as being “wholly other”[2] than the things that we experience in our everyday, mundane lives. It seems to come from a different plane of existence altogether. Confronted with it, one experiences oneself as being “but dust and ashes,”[3] utterly insignificant and inconsequential in the face of something immeasurably greater. It has a majestic, daunting, even terrifying aspect, which Otto calls the mysterium tremendum (“awe-inspiring mystery”), as well as a blissful, comforting side, which he calls the mysterium fascinans (“alluring mystery”).[4]"

 

 

 

I think for the past couple of weeks I've been able to keep a steady boundary on how I want things to be in my close circle. I'm able to assert myself better. I don't feel overwhelmed. I don't allow that stress. If someone does something unacceptable I don't keep fidgeting about it. I tell them like it is. I let them know. No more compromises. 

(wherewolf where are you, I love you).

I should wear a T shirt that says wherewolf. 

I won't deny that I suffer delusions. 

 

Edited September 25, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Heal 

[Buck Edwards]

Anything related to love has to be Godly energy. It doesn't care about social laws. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Just remain calm, silent, watchful. 

[Buck Edwards]

It's the energy. It's the ingredient. The closeness. The beauty. The wholesomeness. 

When something is not pure, it can never satisfy you. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

 

Forget all differences. Forget all fears. Forget all needs. What do you see? 

You want to capture something that cannot be captured. 

The mountains are calling you. Love is like rapture. 

Love will enthrall you. It will rescue you. It will find you. It will mesmerize you. 

Sex with a prostitute is sex. But sex with a lover is sex too. What's the difference? 

One feels like you ate sugar in the morning. The other feels like an oasis in the desert. 

True love is fulfilling. It's godly. False love is bad karma. True love inspires deeply. 

True love is inner strength. True love is Purity of intent. 

(unmet psychological and emotional sexual needs resulting in inhibition). 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

 

You have never lived in a state of freedom. You have never lived in a state of wholesomeness. You have never explored enough, you have never experienced enough. 

 

There are higher planes of human happiness and wholesomeness. And there are lower planes of human misery and dejection. You're caught up in low quality planes the way people watch B grade low quality low budget movies. 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

There are opposites to everything. What's the opposite of loneliness and inadequacy? 

It's a feeling of fulfillment and togetherness. Bonding. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

What do you authentically wish for? 

I authentically wish for great sex and great love. 

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Imagine a color wheel. Every different color or number represents a different state.

Lets say the color green represents kindness. The opposite represents lack of empathy. 

These are just the minor aspects of life. 

Aspect Major.. Aspect Minor. Major aspects are health, finances, parenting, survival. 

Minor Aspects are

Emotions, sex, feelings, logic, decision making, contemplations, kindness, love, companionship, loyalty, commitment, community, support, drive, passion, motivation, thoughts, sadness, grief, attachment, diet.

See every aspect and every moment is imbued with something, either nourishing or draining. And these are not the Aspect Major or Aspect Minor, these are Aspect Fundamental. 

So we have Aspect Major Aspect Minor and Aspect Fundamental. 

I think the major aspects cover the Upper Chakras. The minor make up the middle. The fundamental makes up the root. 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

The fundamental aspect is Love. Love is the driving fuel. It is either draining or nourishing. The nourishing kind of love is pure, organic, beautiful, genuine intimacy, kind, caring, committed, loyal, wholesome and innocent. 

There's animalistic sex and there's non animalistic sex. Animalistic sex creates or induces passion, desire, lust and deep pleasure, biological bonding. 

Non animalistic sex induces temporary pleasure, inadequacy, and lack of passion. 

Masculine sex is animalistic sex. Female sex can be weak. Masculine sex is driven by strong emotion.. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

So there's nourishing animalistic sex and there's draining sex that doesn't help generate bonding or any brain control. 

Character, behavior, attitude, actions, mindset, values, integrity, beliefs. These are the minor aspects associated with love and sex. 3 wheels. Minor wheel. Major wheel, fundamental wheel. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Draining sex is like you feel you had sex just for the sake of sex. Just for pleasure. Exactly similar to watching porn. There is nothing to it other than empty vacuous satisfaction or gratification. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

Now many things are getting clearer. Sex also has shades to it. Either it's the sex that should exist and create an impulsive implicit bond - reptilian sex. 

Now suddenly everything becomes clear. 

The reptilian aspects are separate aspects. 

 

Everything is separate at the Minor Aspect level. And then these aspects fuse together to create a perfect picture of the human system - natural, raw, close to nature and spirituality. All these aspects stand alone and later fuse together. 

Sex is not separate from love. 

Love is not separate from love. 

Everything can have an aspect of either love or lethargy/animosity. 

Anything born in true love is passionate, natural and wholesome. 

Anything born in animosity is egoic and unnatural and is degenerating,degrading. 

 

 

 

The question now is - what should we look for? 

 

This is a hard one. Convoluted. Complex. All of these are minor aspects but they matter. They are simply found in interstitial spaces. But they build up and then impact life on a bigger scale. They appear small and in the moment kind of things. Yet they can accumulate to create a visible impact on life. 

One by one. 

In work there should be enthusiasm, commitment, ethics and passion. 

In creativity, there should be eagerness, interest, and appreciation. Less ego. 

In creative works there should be real talent. 

When something is corrupted it's not pure or fundamental or wholesome or functional. This destroys the nature of things. It weakens and cheapens and degrades. 

What's love without commitment? 

What's spirituality without virtue? 

There are moral aspects. They are reptilian aspects. There are emotional aspects. There are biological hormonal aspects. There are primal aspects. There are excellence aspects. There will be some conflict among these aspects where the heart mind body spirit don't find themselves aligned on the same axis at the same time. That is your body is in it but not your heart. Like that. One has to score 10/10 in all these aspects but also at the same time balance these aspects to create a circle of purity and wholesomeness. 

Only then it comes full circle. 

Circle of purity and wholesomeness. 

 

[Buck Edwards]

It's sugar and spice kind of a thing. But how you balance both aspects is the test of your character and virtue. 

 

Test of your integrity, honesty, perfection, class, grace, honor, elegance, excellence, reputation, strength, caliber, prosperity, magnitude, magnificence, creativity, splendor, balance, virtue, character, authenticity, rawness, naturalness, commitment, devotion,purity, wholesomeness. 

It's not muddled. 

A pure relationship is a mix of pure attraction and pure virtue. 

Which means.... We often think that it's not possible to combine virtue with sleaze. 

But this requires some state of the art skill. 

Lust is denigrated in most cultures as antithetical to virginity and purity of virtue and commitment. It is treated as something that cannot withstand the boulders of moral challenges in life or a relationship. That it's not ethical. 

But pure lust in its authentic form is extremely attractive. 

And just because it's shamed as "less moral" doesn't mean it can't be efficacious..... 

What this means is -  lust can be combined with moral virtue. This only requires greater skill and excellence that is all. 

You can have reptilian aspects of sex and still be moral, genuine and elegant too. 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

I'm not starving or hungry for any compliment or sympathy. I'm just simple. Express what I need. Just simple. 

[Buck Edwards]

34 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can have reptilian aspects of sex and still be moral, genuine and elegant too. 

Further elaboration of what I mean by this. 

It's difficult to achieve a fine balance but it's possible. 

In a proper relationship with (with anyone) one should look for both reptilian as well as elegant aspects. 

No partial attraction. When you're locked in a pedophile based relationship and you find yourself trapped, you feel it facilitates certain aspects of your personhood like basic survival creating the illusion of fake intimacy. 

This fake intimacy is only partially attractive and partially fulfilling. 

You don't have to be with a psychopath to feel happy in life. 

You don't have to be around bullies to feel strong. 

You don't have to be around elitist crowds to feel validated. 

You don't have to be insanely rich to be confident. 

 

There are certain aspects to masculinity where we begin to believe illusions and these illusions are falsehoods and traps we must avoid. 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Buck Edwards]

Don't settle for something that is partially fulfilling. Or partially attractive. 

If you're trapped and if you feel it's not that bad, it has something good in it for you. It has a hold on you. 

The problem with this scarcity mindset is that you deprive yourself of something more beautiful, bigger and better. 

When you are in a relationship with a pedophile who is grooming and enticing you, to a mind that has never experienced wholesome love, any amount of love/affection/intimacy/bonding/sex is still better than nothing. See? How this works. 

Most victims of pedophilia live in this scarcity mindset. Something is better than nothing mindset. 

Well... Meanwhile I don't say that this mindset is necessarily bad, what I'm saying is that it could be better applied and applicable in other places where it's of better use than in situations of paradoxical relationships. 

In delicate matters of relationships, where virtue and strength are massively challenged and sometimes compromised, this mindset serves to do intense irreversible harm and damage. 

Just don't settle because something is better than nothing. 

Men and women spend their lives in abusive relationships owing to this mindset. 

Settle with it because it's the best thing ever. Nothing else. Nothing less. 

There is nothing to be had or gotten in twisted relationships. If there's a component that's enticing, holding, gripping then it should be filtered and acquired like separating strains of coffee. Blend it. Take strains that you like and isolate them and mix them with other desirable strains. 

A toxic person is toxic. But they may have something valuable to offer just like Andrew Tate. 

This is what happens when you find something corrupted and you consume it whole in its absolute form. 

 

 

 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Buck Edwards