Freezing up Before an Approach

[PurpleTree]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

what’s the sad part? 

Freezing when i liked her/she liked me and i wanted to connect. 

[Yimpa]

25 minutes ago, itsadistraction said:

Women love confident guys who can talk to anyone. 

Not just anyone is worth your attention, so it’s even better that you have a high intuition in regards to who you decide to communicate with.

Be like a rare vase in a museum that few give attention to, but upon further inspection its value is worth much more than it initially appeared on the surface 

[PurpleTree]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

Freezing when i liked her/she liked me and i wanted to connect. 

Sad or not @Sugarcoat?

[Sugarcoat]

1 hour ago, PurpleTree said:

Freezing when i liked her/she liked me and i wanted to connect. 

Yea so I feel like thinking you wanna connect with her is kinda misguided you actually first and foremost wanna break through that wall in you to get in touch with yourself deeper, like a more authentic confident you that maybe you can sense somewhere under that fear so when I asked what’s the sad part I meant that maybe you feel the sad part is missing out on her, but that actually when insecurity arises it’s showing you exactly where your problem is kinda so it’s a positive thing you are aware of it, first step to resolving it. But then it’s like hmmm how, well people function different but a lot of people stay the same for a long time, and don’t conquer their insecurities for a looong time , which is the goal , so perhaps next time it happens for you , switch it up inside you, see that moment as an opportunity to beat that fear. So using that other person to beat your fears, so it doesn’t really matter what they think of you, as long as some of that insecurity dissolves it’s a win, first priority, isn’t it so? Isn’t everything else secondary? 

[Sleyker]

19 hours ago, Yimpa said:

I waved hi gaily to a stranger today, and they gave me a very gay hi back.

As they should, did you pull to your place at least? You gotta take your chances bro

[itsadistraction]

14 hours ago, Yimpa said:

Not just anyone is worth your attention, so it’s even better that you have a high intuition in regards to who you decide to communicate with.

Be like a rare vase in a museum that few give attention to, but upon further inspection its value is worth much more than it initially appeared on the surface 

I'm flattered

Edited September 24, 2023 by itsadistraction

[Wisebaxter]

Maybe unpopular advice, but quit cold approaching. Find ways to connect with women that feel more natural. Join clubs, extend your social network to get introduced by friends. Or just use apps as people go on those things to hook up or find relationships. Don't keep causing yourself anxiety by risking rejection. Also, lots of women just find it creepy. Don't be that guy. I' used to get so much ass on dating apps before I settled with a girl I met on one. Just tell them you wanna bang them if that's what you want, they love it. Even if they want a relationship, still tell them that. It works. But you have to have matched first so you know they dig you on some level 

Edited September 26, 2023 by Wisebaxter

[SeaMonster]

You have to learn not to give a shit.  There are lots of fish in the sea - this is true.  

The problem is when men pedestalize a specific woman, what they call "oneitis" in pickup.  Like, "oooh, she is my perfect type physically" or whatever.

Fuck that bullshit, there is a multitude of women you can potentially be with.

[SeaMonster]

On 9/25/2023 at 8:07 PM, Wisebaxter said:

Maybe unpopular advice, but quit cold approaching. Find ways to connect with women that feel more natural. Join clubs, extend your social network to get introduced by friends. Or just use apps as people go on those things to hook up or find relationships. Don't keep causing yourself anxiety by risking rejection.

When people say cold approaching, what they actually mean by it is relative to their own ability to read a woman's interest at the subtlest level of behavior.

If you lack the ability to read a woman's interest, it is ALWAYS cold approach.  If you don't it's never COLD, it's warm to various degrees -- but it still is an approach, not app game, or social circle game or trying to weasel your way in by being a "friend"  game.

[Wisebaxter]

@SeaMonster Thanks, that's a really interesting take on it and you make really great points. I suppose I'm thinking about the 'after care' factor. Most women get attached easily in my experience. I've had to stop trying to have sex with women now as I don't want commitment and trying to just get sex without that being on the table is usually out of the question. I do find the odd woman who's really just wanting the fun but they're never very attractive . It's like when women are too unattractive (physically and as people) they can easily just settle for being a plaything for men who have low standards. I know I sound harsh. Men can be slutty too and it's just as whoreish and undesirable to women I'm sure. Saying that a lot do fall for these cocksmiths and then wonder why they feel insecure or jealous. To me it's all a shit show if I'm honest. I hate relationships and I can't deal with the drama of casual sex. Got any advice? The only option I can think of is it get as rich and famous Leonardo Dicaprio and then just bang a series of hot women who'll feel privileged to have met me. Could there be certain traits that make women feel grateful just to have slept with you? Or am I meeting the wrong women? Right now I'm out the game, no more love or pussy for me.
I often wonder if I need to change my thinking on love and relationships and find the right woman but the thought of been committed and what that entails, and how bad it is when it goes wrong, it makes me sad to say I might just end up on my own..I am ultimately a victim of my poor choices though, which have now shaped my reality  

Edited December 13, 2023 by Wisebaxter