Parents trying to set me up with a girl who lives abroad. Need advice

[GroovyGuru]

So I'm 25 and up to this point I have not had much dating experience. I'm able to get a decent amount of matches with girls online but it usually never leads anywhere. Either we don't meet up, or the girls just stop responding, even though in the vast majority of cases I've done nothing wrong. I should also add that I'm rather picky.

Because of my nonexistent dating life, and especially because my younger brother has now had a girlfriend for years, my parents are becoming concerned and are eager for me to start dating. I'm Middle Eastern, and in my culture it's pretty common for marriages and relationships to occur from word-of-mouth. Basically, somebody in the family knows somebody else that's single, and a connection is made.

So they are encouraging me to start talking to a girl that lives in France. I initiated the other day and we really hit it off. She is 20, beautiful, really easy to talk to, smart (she speaks 4 languages), and we seem to have some things in common. Another important factor is that I'm almost certain she has never been with another man before, given her cultural and religious background. 

A part of me feels this whole situation is unrealistic because it's hard enough to get a girl in my own city. But I also don't want to pass an opportunity with a girl that at least on the surface seems like she can be wife material. She was also told that I was going to reach out to her, so the way she texts I can tell she is very interested and excited. 

I don't really know how to approach the situation. I mean she lives in another part of the world. Usually how this thing would go is that we would continue to talk for several months until I eventually go decide to meet her in France. And if we hit it off, I would probably just get engaged to her. This is wild to me because even though I'm Arab, I'm much, much more connected to American culture. So moving at that pace would feel weird. Another concern for me is that I am not religious at all, so I need to find out how important that is to her in a partner.

How does this sound to you guys? Does it sound crazy or should I just keep an open mind and see where it goes like my parents are saying? The thing is, at this point I SERIOUSLY don't know where I'm going to meet a girl I deem girlfriend material, and who also likes me back. It's just not happening for me.

[Raze]

Sounds like it’s worth trying.

However you need to adjust your attitude, you said you get flaked even though you did “nothing wrong”, how do you know you are doing nothing wrong? Have you actually researched and tested ways to reduce flaking? If something isn’t working out you shouldn’t necessarily just accept it, you should consider ways of improving.

Edited September 19, 2023 by Raze

[GroovyGuru]

@Raze Well, up to this point in my life I've spent countless hours reading/watching videos on how to attract women and talk to them in a masculine way. Typically when I match with a girl online, my strategy is to get a conversation going by mentioning something on her profile or asking a simple question, and then exchange back and forth with her in a humorous/flirty way. After only a few messages and I can tell she is responding well and laughing or whatever, I ask her when she is free this week for a phone call. And then later I call her, talk for a few minutes and set up a date.

In a year of online dating, I've only been able to see this process to its conclusion less than 10 times. Usually the girls will stop responding at some point, or just ignore my initial message in the first place. Some dates have gone good with girls really liking me, others were meh. So, I don't want to sound like I'm flawless or totally without error (because I have made mistakes before, obviously), but truly, I don't think I'm doing anything wrong. I've just come to the conclusion that this is the nature of online dating.

And currently, my life is not set up in a way where I am constantly meeting new people/women. I was really hoping something would come out of online dating and I tried my best to maximize my profile and the way I talk to my matches but at this point, it really just seems like a waste of time.

[Scholar]

I don't know where the conflict here is. It sounds like this is a good opportunity for you, even if it's just for the experience you will gain. So what is the problem?

[PurpleTree]

I think you‘re probably too young for marriage but why not meet her sometime.

[GroovyGuru]

@Scholar You not seeing a problem in the situation is still valuable feedback for me. I'm literally just trying to get people's opinion.

[BassamMo]

25 is such a young age for marriage especially when you've not had much dating experiences or long relationships with women . Give it a shot imo and be real and look for what you want in a partner in her if you find what you want then go for it if not then you're better off waiting for other opportunities