Scared of getting falsely accused of rape/sexual assault in pickup?

[Insightful27]

The #1 reason that I feel like pickup is gate-kept from me is that I don't drink or do drugs socially, and I am worried that if I have sex/escalate with a girl in that setting while she has been drinking (not seriously drunk) then she the power over me to claim that she wasn't able to consent even if she did. All it would take was her having regrets or her being angry with me for her to seriously damage my reputation and career. Also, there is a serious social stigma against me engaging with a girl who is drinking when I am clearly not. How do you guys navigate this? 

[Raze]

Just don’t escalate on a girl who has drank anything. Always send a text message after having sex so she responds positively and save it. Some guys like David Bond even require girls show them their ID, sign a consent form, and have security cameras in every room.

[Sugarcoat]

Regardless of social code or anything else, doesn’t it feel weird for you personally that you would deal with someone drunk? You can’t really know their state for sure . For me, I don’t like alcohol either and go so far that if a drunk person flirts with me, even if i hypothetically would be interested back I would feel a responsibility and not want to engage a person in such state 

Edited September 17, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[mr_engineer]

People-pleasing is a big red-flag in women. If you even remotely sense that she's a people-pleaser, run the other direction! Because, what she'll do is she'll have sex to 'please you', then she'll regret it, resent you and falsely accuse you. 

You will have to assess compatibility, you will have to ascertain that she's smart and she can stand up for herself and you will have to get on the same page about compatibility. When communication is clear, she won't feel the need to bring in a third-party to regulate you and you should be fine. 

[Insightful27]

7 hours ago, Raze said:

Just don’t escalate on a girl who has drank anything

In theory, this is great but in practice, there is drinking in almost every social setting where I would meet girls. Clubs, bars, concerts, house parties, weddings, restaurants, etc. It's unrealistic to find many stone-cold sober girls at a nightclub or concert.

[Insightful27]

4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

what she'll do is she'll have sex to 'please you', then she'll regret it, resent you and falsely accuse you. 

 

4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

ou will have to ascertain that she's smart and she can stand up for herself

Solid points. I just don't think I would be able to get to know her enough to figure these things out 100%. I think that screening is helpful though, especially for the girls who will can't stand up for themselves. 

[Raze]

54 minutes ago, Insightful27 said:

In theory, this is great but in practice, there is drinking in almost every social setting where I would meet girls. Clubs, bars, concerts, house parties, weddings, restaurants, etc. It's unrealistic to find many stone-cold sober girls at a nightclub or concert.

You can do pickup without escalating, just get numbers for later dates.

[Buck Edwards]

With the whole Russell Brand thing, this is the biggest question on everyone's mind now. 

How to not get into trouble with a drunk girl? Lol. 

There's not a simple answer. It doesn't matter if someone is drunk. False accusations have become a thing now. You just have to be around women who have been known to be problem-free. Someone with a good reputation. Avoid women with issues. Also send her a text before sex where she clearly agrees to have sex. And save that text. So you always have a bona fide conversation that shows her name and consent. She cannot pull you in court, if she does, you'll always have evidence of her lies and forgery and she cannot prove lack of consent. Women who hold a grudge against you do this nonsense to simply get you in trouble. Stay safe. 

[mr_engineer]

6 hours ago, Insightful27 said:

 

Solid points. I just don't think I would be able to get to know her enough to figure these things out 100%. I think that screening is helpful though, especially for the girls who will can't stand up for themselves. 

You need experience. I can tell just by observing her body-language/social-confidence whether she's smart or not and whether she's a pleaser or not. If she has a stick up her ass, if she's not relaxed, she's a pleaser. 

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

18 hours ago, Raze said:

Just don’t escalate on a girl who has drank anything. Always send a text message after having sex so she responds positively and save it. Some guys like David Bond even require girls show them their ID, sign a consent form, and have security cameras in every room.

Nonsense. I keep my audio running on my phone in my pocket. Every girl you should assume has had something to drink. Women are more socially attuned and will do group activities. Just don't engage with a girl who is sloppy-drunk.

Who cares if she says you raped her. Either you did or didn't, just record audio.

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

You can't ask a girl to have sex with you. That is dumb. She says yes through compliance and no resistance to your physical touch. She won't say "yes, fuck me! Let's have sex now". She could, if you are skillful. I never have had a girl say "yes, let's have sex. Fuck me now". It was spontaneous. Haha She could say "I raped her" that'd be a load of donkey-cheeks.

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

10 hours ago, Raze said:

You can do pickup without escalating, just get numbers for later FLAKES.

^*auto-correcting bot*

[Emotionalmosquito]

Two words: retroactive consent.

Unfortunately it does not even matter if if she’s sober or not or how much evidence you have of her consent. At any point in the future she can withdraw her consent and boom, you’re paying thousands of dollars on a lawyer just to increase your chances of not getting locked up for 5-10 years.

Not only that but even just physical escalation on the initial approach can get you a sexual harassment charge if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing. And how could you if you’re a noob at pickup? Trying to get a girlfriend in the current era is like playing with fire.

[Something Funny]

@MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI what is a meaning behind this weird profile pick? Do you guys really enjoy constantly looking at your ugly profile pics?

Edited September 28, 2023 by Something Funny

[r0ckyreed]

You got it backwards. The opposite is true. If she is drunk and you are sober, then your word is more credible than hers since her state of mind is less reliable and trustworthy. You can hallucinate all different kinds of stuff under the influence. Your mind is more stable. Don’t forget that.

[Javfly33]

42 minutes ago, r0ckyreed said:

You got it backwards. The opposite is true. If she is drunk and you are sober, then your word is more credible than hers since her state of mind is less reliable and trustworthy. You can hallucinate all different kinds of stuff under the influence. Your mind is more stable. Don’t forget that.

Hahaha try that in Spain.

Here with a new recent law that got passed all it takes is the word of the female as proof . 

[Spiral]

@r0ckyreed That’s legally rape even if she really wants to sleep with you in Sweden.

 

Sneaky solutions include going to her place and not giving your real name or at least not last name.

Edited September 28, 2023 by Spiral

[Hello from Russia]

The more important question - why do you want to do pickup on girls who are not aligned with your values at all? 

Just join some spiritual/self-development scene in your town and meet higher quality women here and you won't ever have that problem as almost nobody will be drinking

Edited September 28, 2023 by Hello from Russia