Deep Intimacy

[Thought Art]

I’ve realize what I want in my life is a deep intimate, mature and loving relationship with a woman. I want to grow with her, trust her, and I want us to rely on each other. I think this one single thing would enrich my life very deeply. 
 

I am beginning to read books and contemplate how I can both pursue finding this person but also being ready to receive this person into my life. 
 

Anyone else looking for this? What are your thoughts and feelings?

[Yimpa]

Absolutely! The quality of the relationship(s) is most important (the “s” in parenthesis for anyone into polyamory, aha).

Also, quality doesn’t mean that it’s always high and that there’s never fights. Quite the opposite. If you can have fights and learn from them, that’ll make both of you stronger in the end.

 

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa true I think

[Yimpa]

The truth is, women have always scared me. Maybe it has to do with my abandonment issues with my mom, which haven’t been fully resolved yet.

Whatever the case may be, the best way to learn about women (and yourself) is to immerse yourself with them regularly. Over and over again, in a reciprocal way. The quality of the relationships will reflect and say a lot about your own quality / state.

[Ajax]

Deciding is greater than wanting.

Here is  an ole blue folksy saw.

Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which gets full first.

Just jump in and do it ?

[NoSelfSelf]

This sounds so dependable on another person to make your life richer,more supportive me personaly i would much rather be alone than seeking something outside of myself to give me that.When i can give myself support and richness that noone can break or use for advantage, then im in position for deep intimacy not before that.

What "deep" intimacy you going to get when you dont know you deep enough?

Edited September 17, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Applegarden8]

8 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I’ve realize what I want in my life is a deep intimate, mature and loving relationship with a woman. I want to grow with her, trust her, and I want us to rely on each other. I think this one single thing would enrich my life very deeply. 
 

I am beginning to read books and contemplate how I can both pursue finding this person but also being ready to receive this person into my life. 
 

Anyone else looking for this? What are your thoughts and feelings?

Yeah,

My standards are kinda high, but for specific things. My dating strategy is either I will settle for what I want authentically or I will be single for the rest of my life.

So, what do I want? I only want to date artistic people. Why? To build something with them. I have seen that with like minded art people you can build something that really builds you and them up and creates a very good atmosphere for children, but I don't want children at the moment.

Otherwise, I am building my life so that my finances are taken care off, I spend the money on the minimum side, my purchases are well calculated. My environment is easy to clean, minimalistic and safe, I am working on my health and diet and spending time alone and improving my sources of entertainment and mental health. Then I would be the most ripe for a relationship, although I have close to no experience in dating or sex. I believe that my artistic desires will attract the right people in my life.

But all this dating stuff, sex, reading the other person, communication etc. You can learn this and talk this out. Also one important thing I am looking in my partner is that she has to understand that she can change her triggers, patterns of behavior and that she has to tell me what she likes in my behaviour and does not like and it needs to be talked from time to time or it will explode in an argument or something. Of course there might be things I will have to accept and I will try my best.

Also, no alcohol, drugs, smoking. I am also a vegetarian, I don't think I could handle a lot of sex, but I could have little to no sex for long periods of time I think.

I have already accepted that I might be single so I am working on my life and contemplating things to prepare for death so that after 20 years I have a feeling that I don't even need this body and there is nothing else to live for and I am ready to die at any moment when it comes.

[Yimpa]

7 hours ago, Applegarden8 said:

So, what do I want? I only want to date artistic people. Why? To build something with them. I have seen that with like minded art people you can build something that really builds you and them up and creates a very good atmosphere for children, but I don't want children at the moment.

Interesting, I just met someone a few days ago who is an extremely talented artist!

[Applegarden8]

On 9/17/2023 at 5:11 PM, Yimpa said:

Interesting, I just met someone a few days ago who is an extremely talented artist!

I like few things about artistic people that others do not seem to have so much.

Ther ability to create something out of nothing.

They are more open-minded, they are more comical, especially about their field; you will hear jokes that are acctually funny.

There is depth, at least to me, to what they make, so it's interesting to watch them do it.

They have a strong personality and insights to share in regards to how to deal with people and cultivate creativity.

They are somewhat self-reflective already.

They are just more interesting people to me, even when it comes to how they speak and present themselves.

And of course I have some ability to do art together with them or to appreciate it and they like more sophisticated art themselves usually.

And their values are usually not just money or whatever is the common theme nowadays.