Noahsteelers34

How to know when to commit to a girl

22 posts in this topic

I have been struggling with indecision.
 

I’m currently seeing a few different girls, and have found myself constantly chasing girls that are “out of my league” and not that interested in me. I’m just done with the games. Constant flaking, and being stressed out over the girls I am very attracted to. 
 

on the other hand, one of the girls I’m seeing is really into me. I’m so busy chasing these other girls, I’m not worried about her at all. At the same time she really likes me for who I am and doesn’t play games. I find her attractive and we have fun, and she is chasing me to a certain extent. 
 

 For context, my last relationship ended because I was so indecisive about wanting to be with her, so I took her for granted. 
 

My main issue with this girl is the culture difference. She is from Indonesia, and I am from America. I am worried that those cultural differences will get in the way down the line.  But she is the kind of girl who I can say anything around, and she doesn’t care because she likes me. She is always down to see me and doesn’t play these stupid games with me. 
 

my question is how do I know when to actually commit to a girl, and get over my indecision of always wanting to find someone else. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don’t have an answer for you. But, these sorts of girls are under appreciated. 
 

I am contemplating what true value is with women and dating. Raw hotness I think isn’t as important to me… though, I know as well I want to be able to smash a girl who I think is a 10.

That being said I recently slept with a girl who I thought was maybe a 7… turned out she was amazing I’m bed and somehow in the sheets she turns to a 10! So, that’s surprising. 
 

I think this may be for you to figure out on your own. I think having a quality girl you like is important. But, if you don’t have the experience you want yet out of your system it can make commuting hard. Which, I get.


 "Unburdened and Becoming" - Bon Iver

                            ◭"89"

                  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You dont have a structure/program that she needs to follow ,so she earns a spot to be your gf you just give it all for free just because she likes you ?

If you dont have like a book that looks like a contract, where you say how things should be with you then you wont know if she is the one...you litteraly sat her down and read it all to her..

Such a big mistake to leave it all on sentimental level and jump into for example marriage or have kids while down the road you figure out she is not the one...


There is nothing safe with playing it safe.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If she makes you happy, and you think you’ll be happy in a relationship long term with her. Although I’d be careful with girls that chase.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
16 hours ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

I have been struggling with indecision.
 

I’m currently seeing a few different girls, and have found myself constantly chasing girls that are “out of my league” and not that interested in me. I’m just done with the games. Constant flaking, and being stressed out over the girls I am very attracted to. 
 

on the other hand, one of the girls I’m seeing is really into me. I’m so busy chasing these other girls, I’m not worried about her at all. At the same time she really likes me for who I am and doesn’t play games. I find her attractive and we have fun, and she is chasing me to a certain extent. 
 

 For context, my last relationship ended because I was so indecisive about wanting to be with her, so I took her for granted. 
 

My main issue with this girl is the culture difference. She is from Indonesia, and I am from America. I am worried that those cultural differences will get in the way down the line.  But she is the kind of girl who I can say anything around, and she doesn’t care because she likes me. She is always down to see me and doesn’t play these stupid games with me. 
 

my question is how do I know when to actually commit to a girl, and get over my indecision of always wanting to find someone else. 

OMG... if you can commit to the Steelers... you can commit to anything! lol JK... NOT... Chiefs RULE!!!:D

I would say simply to be more decisive in your life and all the component parts. Your indecision in women probably extends to other areas in your life. 

LOVE


What you resist, persists and less of you exists. There is a part of you that never leaves. You are not in; you have never been. You know. You put it there and time stretches. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 9/14/2023 at 8:24 PM, Noahsteelers34 said:

My main issue with this girl is the culture difference. She is from Indonesia, and I am from America. I am worried that those cultural differences will get in the way down the line.  But she is the kind of girl who I can say anything around, and she doesn’t care because she likes me. She is always down to see me and doesn’t play these stupid games with me. 

How will they get in the way? What are you specifically worried about?

I think for long-term relationships a girl liking and wanting you is pretty damn important.  If that's what you're after, it's a no-brainer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

go have sex with her. your mind will be clear after for making decisions

Edited by Hojo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, Hojo said:

go have sex with her. your mind will be clear after for making decisions

Literally the opposite is true, sex can cause all sorts of hormonal changes to cloud your judgment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Take things less personally. Let her do her thing. If you find yourself being needy, then that’s something you need to address; it has nothing to do with the girl.

Also, you are taking things too seriously if you are triggered about girls playing games.

Dating is literally a game. Frame it as such.


I AM itching for the truth 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@flowboy I’ve only been seeing her for 3 weeks. Plus I don’t even know what classifies being in love with someone. 

Edited by Noahsteelers34

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 hours ago, Hojo said:

@Raze that is strange i do my best mathematics after jerking off

Jerking off and sex are different 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
48 minutes ago, Noahsteelers34 said:

@flowboy I’ve only been seeing her for 3 weeks. Plus I don’t even know what classifies being in love with someone. 

If you have to think about it, then that's not it.

Would you be happy if she was pregnant?

If not, this is not the girl to commit to.


Learn to resolve trauma. Together.

Testimonials thread: www.actualized.org/forum/topic/82672-experience-collection-childhood-aware-life-purpose-coaching/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@flowboy I let her live freely, as she is a beautiful reflection of me :x


I AM itching for the truth 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 minute ago, nhoktinvt said:

but she's not into u bruhh

No. You’re not into you ;)


I AM itching for the truth 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now