My Work On Myself Is Under Direct Threat. My Psychologist Hates Spirituality

[Martin123]

@LRyan one thing that occured to me is that he is there to serve you, you are not there to validate him. 

[cetus]

On ‎3‎/‎27‎/‎2017 at 5:37 PM, LRyan said:

@LRyan  He said he has been trying to treat two other patients that believe in spirituality but he has had them for 7 years and cannot get anywhere with them because they do not want to focus on anything bad.  He said that is crazy.

@LRyan Does he understand the "spirituality" your talking about means total acceptance of all aspects of the self? WTF's wrong with that? I mean take self enquiry for instance. It is a form of self auto analysis. And meditation is the gateway to the subconscious mind by allowing a silent space in which negative thoughts can freely rise to the surface that may have otherwise stayed buried. 

Wouldn't you love to meet and talk to his other two "spiritual" clients? And who knows what they believe in. Maybe they are deeply into religious dogma and he's heaping you all in one pile. Or maybe they are Actualizers too and saying the same you are. Wouldn't that be too funny!

This is good stuff though, please keep us updated. We'll dissect the mofo's partitioned/ one way street/ pigeon hole-ing mind for him. That's probably the problem for him. Your throwing a monkey wrench into his structured map of treatment by not fitting concisely with the norm and he doesn't know what to do with that. Also there seems to be some personal attachment to this so his ego is offended.

[Colin]

@LRyan You might want to look into something known as emdr

This guy is the foremost expert on PTSD
 

 

[LRyan]

@Bebop Hey thanks for your point of view.  I'm very glad you found what you needed right away.  Maybe mine is a test for me, possibly because there are no mistakes in the universe right?  Everything should be happening for a reason I believe...

@Ramu  I will definitely watch that one! Thx

@see_on_see  It is so easy to over analyze it for sure and I will try to see his input as a bonus to my own work, that's a great way of thinking about what is going on!

.@Arkandeus Thanks so much for the input.  I believe you are right that he immediately turned to his Ego because it looked like someone punched him in the gut, I could see his physical reaction and if he could have produced any more signs I would have seen steam coming out of his nostrils.  He looked totally impatient and a look of disbelief on his face that I wasn't recognizing that it was his "work" on me that had made me progress.

I see your point that maybe I needed to feel so helpless and so discontent with his methods that it drove me to pick up my books again and really open up my spiritual path once again.  I was at the point where I was unconscious again and only living through my mind not my soul so perhaps he was the catalyst for me to push myself back into who I really am. If I look at things that way then I am very lucky to have happened upon him.  What if I would have just had a very laid back person where I didn't feel the need to look inward??  Maybe I wouldn't be on this forum right now.  Maybe I wouldn't have picked up a book or discovered Leo's videos or this site at all.  I do believe he is in my life for a reason.  It's the not knowing if the purpose of him being in it is over or if this is still something I should face and deal with on the next level.  I will have to see how my next appointment on Monday goes and I think I will decide from there.  If I can see that he is holding a grudge or is going to hang me out to dry, that he is still upset over it and can't deal with the fact that I brought the subject up then I don't see how I would be able to continue with him.  I would suffer and dread every minute of the appointments.  Actually I already dread the thought of going back to him because I want to avoid any conflict.  I just want to move on.   That seems to be what my gut is telling me...

@Martin123 No, I'm not there to validate him but I believe he thinks that I am just another notch on his belt that he can advertise as a success in the future and maybe that's what he need to do because he might not be aware of what he is doing?  If that makes sense.

@cetus56  I think you are right, he is lumping me in with the other two and was shaking his head in disapproval.  I got to the point of really trying to defend myself and I had to say clearly, this is not a religious thing, I'm not religious.  He admitted he is not spiritual and doesn't have time for any of that stuff he said so he is judging me without even knowing what I am talking about really.  

He said that the other two cannot get better because their religion or spirituality will not allow them to focus on anything negative.  That's when I said, yes I understand when you concentrate on bad things that have happened then your thoughts get repetitive and you just get more of them, like the law of attraction.  He said that is just crap.   He said do you want to focus on bad thoughts for 4 months and get better or do you want to focus on bad thoughts for a lifetime.  Those are the two choices he is aware of!

I am very sure that no one has ever gone into his office and admitted to helping themselves with spirituality.  I believe he was shocked.  He said he knew the week before that there was "something wrong with me".....everyone else thinks there is something right with me!

I think he is offended because he keeps referring to my books as "self help" books.  I did explain that it is something entirely different than psychology and it's not self help psychology books.  It was a very long uncomfortable hour.  Next monday is coming up too fast, I need to resolve my feelings about what to do but I keep jumping back and forth on what I should do

@Colin  OMG, I wish I could go and see this Dr!  What he is saying is so so true.  I feel like when I am being asked about something traumatic and having to keep relaying the story over and over and listening to my recording of it every day that it is re-traumatizing me!  He is so right about that.  I wish I could send this video to my Psychologist.  I'm not even joking...I know that is a fantasy.  

I became aware of this method when someone else who is being treated for PTSD told me about it and I really felt that is what would help me the most so I spent some time researching it and looking for anyone in my area that uses this technique and there are none from what I have researched.  If I lived 4 hours from where I am I could access a million resources but I am very limited in my city of 160,000.  It's unfortunate that it is not available in small centres.  It's also frustrating at times because I can't really do what I feel is best for me and therein lies my problem.......or situation I should say!  I would literally have to go out of town to get this type of treatment.  I would If I KNEW that the person was skilled and that it would help me.  

Edited March 29, 2017 by LRyan

[Martin123]

@LRyan however it is not your job to make him realize that. Your job is to act on what feels best for you. He will grow only as fast as he decides to according to his free will. 

[LRyan]

I think he must be a young soul and he will have to try to grow into some form of real purpose other than his title and his accomplishments.

 No you are very right about this, I will not make it my job to make him realize that in fact I will not ever speak to him again about spirituality.  I will have to keep this to myself because I know his position.  He doesn't care about it for himself, and he cannot appreciate it's importance to me either sadly..

[Ramu]

@LRyan I hate to tell you this, but there really is no such thing as a young soul.  One doesn't have a body AND a soul and a higher self all at once.  There is only one True Self, and that's YOU.  Its also me, your coworker, your neighbor and your friend.  There is only One.

[LRyan]

1 hour ago, see_on_see said:

Maybe you misunderstood me, I didn't mean him as a bonus to your work, I meant a totally new therapist. It seems pretty clear that this one isn't good. Not trying to convince you or anything, but it seems to me that you are afraid to stand your ground and let him go, and find someone better.

3 hours ago, LRyan said:

Yes, I admit there is a fear, there are other factors involved such as limited choice and also the wait times.  I know this appears as excuses/fear of change but some concerns are a real factor.  At the very least I could look into switching.  I was looking at this situation as something that I should overcome because it looks like an obstacle which could be an opportunity....OR maybe the obstacle is in trying to find a new therapist which would be an opportunity for me to be true to my needs???  How the heck can one figure this out.....Both ways could be right.  In the end, I know seeing him has caused me to suffer again.  I had some nightmares and now my thinking is constantly on this situation which is not good.  I know it is getting to me and wearing me down...

[LRyan]

2 hours ago, Ramu said:

@LRyan I hate to tell you this, but there really is no such thing as a young soul.  One doesn't have a body AND a soul and a higher self all at once.  There is only one True Self, and that's YOU.  Its also me, your coworker, your neighbor and your friend.  There is only One.

What I meant by a young soul is that he is not seeing the purpose of life which is to find your true self, the only self there is and he may need to come back and live through another human life to learn what he hasn't realized in this life.....do you believe we are eternal and that until we realize our true nature we will return to experience human life again until we do so?  Is that a religious belief?  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 30, 2017 by LRyan

[Bebop]

26 minutes ago, LRyan said:

Yes, I admit there is a fear, there are other factors involved such as limited choice and also the wait times.  I know this appears as excuses/fear of change but some concerns are a real factor.  At the very least I could look into switching.  I was looking at this situation as something that I should overcome because it looks like an obstacle which could be an opportunity....OR maybe the obstacle is in trying to find a new therapist which would be an opportunity for me to be true to my needs???  How the heck can one figure this out.....Both ways could be right.  In the end, I know seeing him has caused me to suffer again.  I had some nightmares and now my thinking is constantly on this situation which is not good.  I know it is getting to me and wearing me down...

Yeah that's a tough situation, if anything I'd try to get out of seeing this guy again and find someone else imo. It sounds like hes making you feel worse and even more confused then you need to be right now. I would take a deep breath and meditate on the situation, trust in what your heart is trying to tell you what to do. Just relax and have faith, no need to stress yourself out over it, I've been through situations like that and worrying about how it was going to turn out always made it worse. Good luck my friend, feel free to message me if you need someone to talk to. 

[LRyan]

@John Flores Well that is very interesting to know.  Very intriguing....I personally believe that there are very old souls here as well.  Dr Wayne Dyer stated that he believed himself to have been St Francis of Assisi!  How have you met Enlil....if you want to expand on that...past life regression?  My hairdresser has had 4 past lives and one was a member of Royalty in China.  She always had this draw to go to China and go to the great wall of China.  She only found out later about the past life.

 @Bebop  Thanks so much for your response, I will meditate on it and just ask for some clairity to come to me so hopefully I can put a stop to this pondering of what is best to do in the situation.  I know all is happening with a purpose so having faith and just letting go of my expectations may be in order.  Thanks for pointing that out, and thanks for the offer to chat...much appreciated!

[LRyan]

On 3/28/2017 at 11:50 AM, Ramu said:

Sounds like your psychologist is a rationalist with a defensive ego.  Why else would he feel so threatened?

I just watched Leo's video on Why Rationality is Wrong.  It was like a description of my experience I had with my Psychologist on Monday.  I believe that he is not connected with his body or emotions.  He definitely had the knee jerk reaction and reacted emotionally.  Now I understand it and I can see that this Psychologist is a total rationalist!  100%....as I was listening to his descriptions and examples I could see that is how he approaches his methods.  He is so unaware that he can't see anything but his own context of his own thoughts....This is not a good situation for a Psychologist.  He was demonizing my spirituality.  Now that I look back on my therapy, he never mentions emotions.  

Basically he was telling me I was irrational during the hour I had with him.  Now I can see this clearly!  Thanks Leo for the video!  Makes sense now.

Edited March 30, 2017 by LRyan

[LRyan]

John Flores :   This is a little deep but cool! Things can get so complicated. I have read some things by Abraham/Hicks where she is a medium for the spirit of Abraham but I haven't really learned much about these types of experiences...This is a whole other book I guess!! 

Edited March 30, 2017 by LRyan

[Dodo]

Just become present and all of these problems will start falling away by themselves, the waves in your mind will be tamed, and you will enjoy basking in the light on the beach of your own mind and heart. Listening to the waves of your breath.

Deep breathing is a frequency of its own.

Edited March 30, 2017 by Dodoster

[Colin]

@LRyan The big secret of EMDR is that you can extremely easily do it on your self. There are writings on line and in some EMDR books that caution against using it on your self. It has a way of getting you in touch with your emotions. The last thing I want is for you to cause yourself more suffering and distress. You know yourself, and you can have your therapist on call in case you go to a bad place if you want. It is also beneficial that you have had plenty of therapy (I assume). You can also use the knowledge you have learned from Leo's video to aid you. If you went to a trained EMDR therapist you would laugh at how simple it actually is. And yet it is legit. It is studied. You hear "miracle" story after "miracle" story if you listen to the therapists and patients that use it. There is a weird dynamic in the politics of EMDR. Drug companies don't want to t
This is all you need.

Sessions usually last about an hour. You will want to do the first three steps rather quickly. Try to focus and get clear about it. Then spend the rest of the session focusing on the positive cognition and doing the eye movement. Repeat the positive cognition almost like and affirmation again and again. Just try to relax while doing it. It is not meant to be stressful. Get creative and combine it with what ever methods and techniques work for you.

That is literally all it is.

It helps to sit a proper distance from your tv as well

http://www.engineeringcalculator.net/home-theater-calculator.html

[LRyan]

Thanks..it seems very straightforward. It does actually seem too simple.  I read somewhere that the eye movement re trains a part of the brain.  I can look into it more.  Do you look at the screen for one hour after all of the steps are completed?  That seems like a long time to stare at the screen but if it works then that is the most important thing...

 

I am wondering how people get messages from their meditation.  I have been asking the question of what path to take but I don't seem to be getting any clear messages except that a strange thing happened Tuesday morning after my session with him on Monday afternoon.  I had bad dreams that night and my mind wouldn't stop spinning around what he said to me and how I expected things to go better.  I woke up to immediate thoughts of the situation and was totally unconscious while I made my bed.  While pulling up the sheets on one side of the bed I knocked this little figurine of an Angel of Strength off my night table and when I looked down, I saw the body of the angel with the wings and the head was missing...I looked for a minute for the head...it was under my bed.  It broke clear off from the body of the angel....What could this possibly mean?  Might this be a signal from my higher self?  I thought that maybe it was to tell me that I am losing my mind  and hurting myself...I'm not sure how to interpret but it did seem like a message.  My sister gave me this angel of strength at least 12 years ago and nothing has ever happened to it.  Is this most likely a sign?

Edited March 30, 2017 by LRyan

[Colin]

1 hour ago, LRyan said:

I am wondering how people get messages from their meditation.  I have been asking the question of what path to take but I don't seem to be getting any clear messages

The real answer is that there is no path except the path you make. Sooner or later you will realize that you are in the drivers seat and nothing happens unless you decide it or make it happen.

I also believe that there is an intuition and guidance within us and it comes up when you are able to quiet your mind. Hence the importance of consistent meditation practice.

There may of been a sign in the breaking of the statue, or there may have been no sign at all. it is possible that it is either. It only matters if you learned something positive from it.

[LRyan]

I have made the decision to not see this Psychologist again.  

I would appreciate any input on what words to use in a text to let him know.  I'm not sure how to word it but I'm thinking something like....

take your narrow minded egotistical view on Psychology and try it on yourself.....Ok kidding!  But really, I want to say very little but I don't know how to word it.............."You're Fired"....Donald Trump style.

Seriously what can I say?  I've decided to ?????? ......then I haven't a clue what to say.  He already knows why..... it's just a statement I have to make to end it.

:-/ Why is this difficult to find the words?  I don't want to offend him but anything I say will hurt his ego....and offend him... And why do I care.......because I've been a people pleaser most of my life I guess if I am honest.

 

 

Edited April 1, 2017 by LRyan

[Toby]

Why do you have to say anything? Just cancel any appointments left and don't say anything.

[LRyan]

I never considered that option!  Thank you.

I have been seeing him since Dec 2015.  His wife is his office administrator and so I know she will push for a reason.  Since he is a Psychologist, he should be able to figure it out but he will come to the wrong conclusion because he won't be able to see beyond his ego so I'm sure he will tell himself that I am recklessly ending his successful therapy.