Pick Up Question: wanting a relationship but also to explore

[Thought Art]

Hi, 

I’ve had it in my mind I want to sleep around a bit over the next couple years and expand my experience with sexual partners. 
 

However, after a recent hurt I’ve experienced after some hook ups… I am wondering if more hookups is what is needed, or if I am really the kind of guy to simply date women. This is something I have to figure out on my own.

The end goal of my pick up endeavours is to land a high quality girl. So, my questions are:

1. Should I rule out nightclubs and bars? After this recent experience I suspect that low conscious women are more of a problem than what they are worth as sexual partners. Which, I still enjoy…. Maybe I just need more of them in my life. 
 

2. Is day game and social circle/ or, say meeting women in person better for meeting high quality women?

I suspect my type of women are more likely to go to a yoga class, ecstatic dance, or like tantric events other than nightclubs. But, I also know I simply want an abundance of experience. Even though I want a single partner I would like to gain experience. I think having a more solid frame of sexual experiences (of which I admittedly already have many) could be good for growth. I want to have a sense of abundance in my dating. 
 

I know I want deep intimacy and connection in my relationships. So, what’s the path from pick up to authentic love and deep intimacy?

Edited September 13, 2023 by Thought Art

[Princess Arabia]

It depends in how you feel. Do you think you have exhausted the pick-up scene. Are you ready now to settle down. If you are, I suggest making space energetically for that. Meaning, don't think about having multiple women, don't meet women with the intention of just sleeping with her with hopes of starting a relationship. Either leaving that option open to start with, without sexual intent initially or going out with the intention in mind of finding a serious partner. Intention is the key, but not necessary to initially talk to women. 

Don't limit it to special places because you might be blocking a potential long-term partner because of your biases to where you might meet her. It can happen anywhere, even though specific places of common interests may be a plus. Open your heart and leave the past behind and start anew and try not to use the past to determine the future if you're trying to change the person you once were and trying to become a new one.

While you are out doing normal day-to day activities is best to keep an eye out, instead of going out specifically to try to find a long-term partner. Talk to women and don't rule any out unless you are breaking specific boundaries you have set for yourself. These are just my suggestions.

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, Thought Art said:

So, what’s the path from pick up to authentic love and deep intimacy?

The path is simply bumping into the right girl.

Be more selective.

Edited September 13, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Thought Art]

Thank you

[archi]

11 hours ago, Thought Art said:

 

I know I want deep intimacy and connection in my relationships. So, what’s the path from pick up to authentic love and deep intimacy?

 

Deep intimacy is not about sex as you are aware.

Explore deep intimacy before you have sex it is more rewarding.

Know what you want, note red flags, yellow flags, green flags and be patient.

I have made my share of mistakes .

[Ajax]

18 hours ago, Thought Art said:

The end goal of my pick up endeavours is to land a high quality girl.

What do you consider a high quality girl to be?

 

[Yimpa]

18 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I know I want deep intimacy and connection in my relationships. So, what’s the path from pick up to authentic love and deep intimacy?

Keep working on the lower levels of love that you’ve identified. Once you’ve really exhausted that, then the higher levels of love will organically present itself.

The fact that you’re longing for higher forms of love is already a good sign that you’ll keep moving in the right direction, despite it not being smooth sailing.

Your ability to connect to other human beings actually expands when you’ve mastered and exhausted the lower forms. So avoiding it merely because you perceive it as “bad” actually keeps you stagnant.

Eventually, it won’t even cross your mind to get into or maintain certain relationships. 

A more new-age way to say it: You will attract those who are at the same frequency as you. 

[nhoktinvt]

48 minutes ago, Ajax said:

What do you consider a high quality girl to be?

ur mum haha jk

[Yimpa]

 

[Ajax]

On 9/13/2023 at 0:27 PM, nhoktinvt said:

ur mum haha jk

Yes, indeed. She is perfect!  Perfect spiritual teacher too. Come meet my mom if you want to experience "Ego death"! LMAO

Edited September 14, 2023 by Ajax

[Thought Art]

7 hours ago, Ajax said:

What do you consider a high quality girl to be?

 

I’ve made this explicit to myself, and will continue to develop this understanding. Too much to get into here. Basically, she’s physically attractive, we have chemistry and she is rather developed… in a nut shell. 
 

It’s become clear to me I want a long term intimate relationship. I’m feeling into it right now. 
 

I also know I really like sex and want a lot more of it. 
 

I have a deep desire to connect deeply with a woman for a long period of time. I want to develop a deep connection, friendship and life together with a woman. I want to be in love.

Edited September 14, 2023 by Thought Art

[Yimpa]

What’s your take on dating apps? Have you had any success with them?

[Buck Edwards]

13 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

What’s your take on dating apps? Have you had any success with them?

Theyre scam

[SeaMonster]

On 9/12/2023 at 7:14 PM, Thought Art said:

The end goal of my pick up endeavours is to land a high quality girl. So, my questions are:

1. Should I rule out nightclubs and bars? After this recent experience I suspect that low conscious women are more of a problem than what they are worth as sexual partners. Which, I still enjoy…. Maybe I just need more of them in my life. 
 

2. Is day game and social circle/ or, say meeting women in person better for meeting high quality women?

I suspect my type of women are more likely to go to a yoga class, ecstatic dance, or like tantric events other than nightclubs. But, I also know I simply want an abundance of experience. Even though I want a single partner I would like to gain experience. I think having a more solid frame of sexual experiences (of which I admittedly already have many) could be good for growth. I want to have a sense of abundance in my dating. 

Crazy hippie chicks = quality women?

Bruh...

Have you ever known a real-life girl whom you would consider a "high quality girl"?

Is this some kind of idealization or do you have a concrete idea of what this is?

[Thought Art]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

Crazy hippie chicks = quality women?

Bruh...

Have you ever known a real-life girl whom you would consider a "high quality girl"?

Is this some kind of idealization or do you have a concrete idea of what this is?

Yup, the crazier the better.?

no. 
 

I am talking about a mature stage green girl of similar interest. The things I’ve listed are where I’ve met some of the most mature people. I want a girl interested in spirituality and personal growth. That’s a must I think.I want a conscious relationship.

[SeaMonster]

55 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

I am talking about a mature stage green girl of similar interest. The things I’ve listed are where I’ve met some of the most mature people. I want a girl interested in spirituality and personal growth. That’s a must I think.I want a conscious relationship.

You're like a lot of young guys who suffer from this delusion that if you find a girl with common interests then you will have a happy relationship.  That's like one of the least important things to look for in a girl (#1 would be hitting the sweet spot on the Hot/Crazy scale.)

Edited September 14, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Thought Art]

@SeaMonster oh forget that hot crazy scale. 
 

When I meet my girlfriend I’ll let you know how it goes. It may surprise us all!

[Tanz]

@Thought Art Other than deep intimacy, are you interested in a life partner? Marriage? Kids?
On the baseline if you are looking for real love, a woman doesn't fully give herself to you until she feels safe to love you.

There's ways of manipulating a woman to give that to you before you love her back but I don't advise on that route.  

If you don't feel anything after 3 or 4 meetings she's not the one, cut it off before she gets hurt.  

[Thought Art]

8 hours ago, Tanz said:

@Thought Art

There's ways of manipulating a woman to give that to you before you love her back but I don't advise on that route.    

Yes I am interested in Life partner. Possibility of a kid. 
 

 

[Ajax]

22 hours ago, Thought Art said:

I’ve made this explicit to myself, and will continue to develop this understanding. Too much to get into here. Basically, she’s physically attractive, we have chemistry and she is rather developed… in a nut shell. 
 

It’s become clear to me I want a long term intimate relationship. I’m feeling into it right now. 
 

I also know I really like sex and want a lot more of it. 
 

I have a deep desire to connect deeply with a woman for a long period of time. I want to develop a deep connection, friendship and life together with a woman. I want to be in love.

Ah, that is excellent. I would first suggest that the definition of Love is the urge to be together for no reason at all.  Thus, love is something that you put into things. The more you do it, the better you get at it.  The better you can get at it… the more you can give it. The more you can give it, the more you will receive it.

“YOU” have one most basic ability. That is to generate self-created Truths (lol sorry for getting spiritual). Therefore, I recommend taking time to postulate these self-created truths (or IDEAS). For example, I want to create a relationship with fiery sex. I want to create a woman who works with me and not against me. I want to create a partner that is adventurous and wants to travel. I want to create… Just make it explicit of things that you want to create in a relationship and reinforce the ideas every day.

Then, put them in whatever partnerships that you are involved in. Success is the sum of all validated improvements, so focus on creating improvements and validate the times that you created whatever you postulated. This process helps you in being able to create the relationship you like and gain immense value in whatever girl(s) you are in involved in right now, ensuring greater success, regardless of the potential of the girl you have right now. It’s just playing the game and practicing creating.

Other than that, I would recommend expanding your social circle. For example, I love bookworms and I am always hanging around libraries, book fairs, library events, book clubs. The women know me and love me, and I love them, because love is the just being around women for no reason at all. From this viewpoint, by the time I get a connection, we are already in love.

I also have personal training certifications. So, I used to spend a good deal of time in the gym and have a good relationship with the gym owners/staff and get to attend classes for free and get to hang around the gym for no reason at all. Since I am perceived as part of the gym and my intention is just to know and converse with women with no agenda and for no reason at all… I generate mutual love. I can practice having amazing relationships without introducing the complications of sexual relations. Of course, I occasionally did get romantically involved with some women (never clients, strict personal rule.)  We have very deep and satisfying intimate relationships.

I have also gotten involved with volunteer work, community events, Health Festivals, Co-ops, etc. I often volunteer at these booths and work as staff for free and hundreds of women come to me. I used to be involved in social media and the like and had websites, and Facebook and all that shit which I gained many followers and was able to have a great deal of networking with women and found many quality women that way as well. Instead of asking for contact info, I would ask them to follow me on these platforms and make content so they would know me and keep me in mind. It is a time sink-hole so I have deleted all social media at the moment. However, I hope I have inspired some ideas.

Next thing to consider is that the game is rigged. By which I mean that there are hidden propaganda campaigns to manipulate and engineer gender wars and propaganda which results in massive barriers to having and maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. It can be handled and overcome, but one can’t ignore that there is such chaos and discord occurring behind the scenes.

I touched upon the way to handle such a problem in a previous post which I will quote here: “You will need Love and Admiration the most. You must be certain and Trust yourself. It will test your love to the very limit. Be willing to be abandoned. Be willing to be cheated on. Be willing to lose everything you hold dear and consider valuable. But don’t stop loving and admiring for nothing!”

Life is a game, and you must be willing and able to win and lose with the same level of enthusiasm. Have the viewpoint that you are just playing a game and discard the ideas that you can and are able to lose. This is done by having the goal of putting your original ideas that you want to create in a relationship/woman into action. The game is creation. If that is your purpose, you can’t lose because you are doing what you want to do which is to create.

After all a relationship is a co-creation and finding a partner that is willing and able work with you and share in the ideas that you want to create. It is about finding a woman receptive to your postulates, who agrees with them, makes them her own and even builds and creates new ones for you guys to share.

PHEW… This post is too damn long lol! Sorry for the book, I tried to cut out as much as possible lol. I don’t know if I am ever going to discuss this subject in any depth again LMAO.

Edited September 14, 2023 by Ajax