Why not be sexually explicit on approach with girls who use guys only for sex?

[Hardkill]

If there are plenty of girls out there who just want casual sex and nothing more, then why don't guys just approach every girl they talk in a sexually explicit manner right away until they find the girl or girls who are down to use a guy just for sex with no strings attached?

[universe]

There are many reasons for this.

Just to name a few, because unlike men, women don't get aroused by just looking at a man. They are not like a light switch, instead they are more like an oven, which gets hot gradually - over time. And also because a woman will have to know you before she will be attracted to you because of personality.

These are generalisations of course.

Then you have the whole social conditioning going and there needs to be a way for a women to assess wether or not she will be safe with you or not.

Some men actually use this technique and will find a match.

It is not what you say.
It is how you say it.

Women are like military grade scanners. They will locate your true personality, find your hidden agendas and know where to push in order to collapse your whole machinery. Most guys come with a paper plane and crayon on their faces and think that's enough to outsmart them. 

I'd recommend you to learn and master communication and social dynamics.

[Buck Edwards]

Cuz guys don't wanna fuck a tree with a hole. They want to fuck a woman who they desire to sleep with. Someone with a personality. 

Guys who think like you described have no game and are generally discarded as fukkboyz. 

[Buck Edwards]

Your post reads like an abomination to the entire male gender. Seriously have some standards bro. 

You really go out with women like that? 

Where's your self respect? 

(also guys wanna learn social calibration and getting better with women is on the top of the list).. 

Edited September 11, 2023 by Buck Edwards

[Raze]

You can do that, many puas advocate for techniques similar to that, but even with those women you still usually have to be smoother then just “u want 2 fuk?” 

[Hardkill]

58 minutes ago, universe said:

There are many reasons for this.

Just to name a few, because unlike men, women don't get aroused by just looking at a man. They are not like a light switch, instead they are more like an oven, which gets hot gradually - over time. And also because a woman will have to know you before she will be attracted to you because of personality.

These are generalisations of course.

Then you have the whole social conditioning going and there needs to be a way for a women to assess wether or not she will be safe with you or not.

Some men actually use this technique and will find a match.

It is not what you say.
It is how you say it.

Women are like military grade scanners. They will locate your true personality, find your hidden agendas and know where to push in order to collapse your whole machinery. Most guys come with a paper plane and crayon on their faces and think that's enough to outsmart them. 

I'd recommend you to learn and master communication and social dynamics.

Yeah, but why not just keep talking with her explicitly about sex in a fun way until she gets turned on enough?

[Princess Arabia]

3 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Yeah, but why not just keep talking with her explicitly about sex in a fun way until she gets turned on enough?

The reason why she might just want to have sex with you casually is not about the sex. It's for other mental reasons. It's more psychological. So explicitly talking to her about sex will not be enough for her to get turned on because sex is a physical act and you have to meet her on a more psychological level, arouse her mentally, not sexually.

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

The reason why she might just want to have sex with you casually is not about the sex. It's for other mental reasons. It's more psychological. So explicitly talking to her about sex will not be enough for her to get turned on because sex is a physical act and you have to meet her on a more psychological level, arouse her mentally, not sexually.

What other psychological reason would there be if it couldn't that she's hoping to have a serious relationship with me and just wants to fuck?

[cetus]

4 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Yeah, but why not just keep talking with her explicitly about sex in a fun way until she gets turned on enough?

That can go the other way too. You could be sitting at a bar getting to know the girl sitting next to you. Then she "accidently" drops her napkin between your stool and hers. And before you can get it for her, she says "just smile" and bends down to pick it up.

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Hardkill said:

What other psychological reason would there be if it couldn't that she's hoping to have a serious relationship with me and just wants to fuck?

That's not what I mean. Women's and men's psyche are different in this aspect. Even though she just wants casual sex and nothing more, coming at her like that explicitly isn't the right approach unless you too have already established a connection already. But just going up to a strange woman like that won't bring too much success, even if it's just casual sex she wants. She has to be mentally stimulated first before she would want to have casual sex with you and talking in an explicitly sexual manner to her at first upon approach doesn't turn women on. It's after they get to know you where it's more comfortable to talk that way.

That's what I mean by psychological. Unless she approached you first and half the work is already done, then you don't even have to talk explicitly, just use a little flirting and charm, but if you are doing the approaching, then you want to make her even want to choose you to have casual sex with her and talking explicitly about sex won't do the trick. You still have to use normal conversation to get her interested.

[Hardkill]

12 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

That's not what I mean. Women's and men's psyche are different in this aspect. Even though she just wants casual sex and nothing more, coming at her like that explicitly isn't the right approach unless you too have already established a connection already. But just going up to a strange woman like that won't bring too much success, even if it's just casual sex she wants. She has to be mentally stimulated first before she would want to have casual sex with you and talking in an explicitly sexual manner to her at first upon approach doesn't turn women on. It's after they get to know you where it's more comfortable to talk that way.

That's what I mean by psychological. Unless she approached you first and half the work is already done, then you don't even have to talk explicitly, just use a little flirting and charm, but if you are doing the approaching, then you want to make her even want to choose you to have casual sex with her and talking explicitly about sex won't do the trick. You still have to use normal conversation to get her interested.

Why does she need an emotional connection with me when she'll probably never see me again after we bang? 

What does her being emotionally stimulated really have to do with her wanting to just fuck? If she wanted to be emotionally stimulated then she could just watch a movie or tv show she likes, read a novel she's into, watch some spectacular performance on stage, or go to a music concert. If she wanted someone to make her laugh then why doesn't just listen to or watch some kind of comedy?

Edited September 12, 2023 by Hardkill

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Hardkill said:

Why does she need an emotional connection with me when she'll probably never see me again after we bang? 

What does her being emotionally stimulated really have to do with her wanting to just fuck? If she wanted to be emotionally stimulated then she could just watch a movie or tv show she likes or read a novel she's into. 

You are looking at it from a male's perspective. Plus I never used the word emotional even though it's still mental, using the word emotional would not have had the same effect for what I'm trying to communicate to you. You're still trying to stimulate her sexually, but not explicitly or direct. When you use the word explicit, I'm taking it as if you mean raw, to the point and uninhibited. Like, hey would you like to come to my place and have sex. Or, Hi, (however you introduce yourself, that's irrelevant in this case) but do you like oral sex or I love your tits and ass or do you watch porn or id love to cum on you or whatever, to me that's explicitly speaking.

If you approach, introduce yourself or use a pick up line or whatever, just have a normal conversation like where you from, what kind of food do you like, do you go to college and where or whatever. Then feel her out and gently work your way up to it. If she's the type and likes you after you've talked for a bit, then maybe it'll happen. But not in the first example, that's too explicit. Plus if a woman is looking for casual sex anyway, you won't need to try and convert her to that because that's already her intention. Your job is to make her want to do it with you and speaking to her explicitly won't turn a woman on outside the bedroom anymore than a normal, maybe flirty kind of conversation would. 

[Hardkill]

6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

You are looking at it from a male's perspective. Plus I never used the word emotional even though it's still mental, using the word emotional would not have had the same effect for what I'm trying to communicate to you. You're still trying to stimulate her sexually, but not explicitly or direct. When you use the word explicit, I'm taking it as if you mean raw, to the point and uninhibited. Like, hey would you like to come to my place and have sex. Or, Hi, (however you introduce yourself, that's irrelevant in this case) but do you like oral sex or I love your tits and ass or do you watch porn or id love to cum on you or whatever, to me that's explicitly speaking.

If you approach, introduce yourself or use a pick up line or whatever, just have a normal conversation like where you from, what kind of food do you like, do you go to college and where or whatever. Then feel her out and gently work your way up to it. If she's the type and likes you after you've talked for a bit, then maybe it'll happen. But not in the first example, that's too explicit. Plus if a woman is looking for casual sex anyway, you won't need to try and convert her to that because that's already her intention. Your job is to make her want to do it with you and speaking to her explicitly won't turn a woman on outside the bedroom anymore than a normal, maybe flirty kind of conversation would. 

So, I should stimulate her first by making her feel safe and comfortable around me and whether or not she likes my personality?

[Princess Arabia]

Just now, Hardkill said:

So, I should stimulate her first by making her feel safe and comfortable around me and whether or not she likes my personality?

Pretty much yes.

36 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

Why does she need an emotional connection with me when she'll probably never see me again after we bang? 

What does her being emotionally stimulated really have to do with her wanting to just fuck? If she wanted to be emotionally stimulated then she could just watch a movie or tv show she likes or read a novel she's into. 

You are looking at it from a male's perspective. Plus I never used the word emotional even though it's still mental, using the word emotional would not have had the same effect for what I'm trying to communicate to you. You're still trying to stimulate her sexually, but not explicitly or direct. When you use the word explicit, I'm taking it as if you mean raw, to the point and uninhibited. Like, hey would you like to come to my place and have sex. Or, Hi, (however you introduce yourself, that's irrelevant in this case) but do you like oral sex or I love your tits and ass or do you watch porn or id love to cum on you or whatever, to me that's explicitly speaking.

If you approach, introduce yourself or use a pick up line or whatever, just have a normal conversation like where you from, what kind of food do you like, do you go to college and where or whatever. Then feel her out and gently work your way up to it. If she's the type and likes you after you've talked for a bit, then maybe it'll happen. But not in the first example, that's too explicit. Plus if a woman is looking for casual sex anyway, you won't need to try and convert her to that because that's already her intention. Your job is to make her want to do it with you and speaking to her explicitly won't turn a woman on outside the bedroom anymore than a normal, maybe flirty kind of conversation would. 

[pablo_aka_god]

For me that would be the most authentic opening for a lot of girls: "You are beautiful and I want to fuck you" but that doesn't work even with sluttiest girls at least for normal guys, if you are a rock star or physically beautiful then maybe. So we have to do game and show our intentions in a more socially "calibrated"  way.

[hyruga]

If it's just a loose girl with a body count of over 100, why would you want to risk your body with her?

[Yimpa]

On 9/11/2023 at 7:31 PM, cetus said:

You could be sitting at a bar getting to know the girl sitting next to you. Then she "accidently" drops her napkin between your stool and hers. And before you can get it for her, she says "just smile" and bends down to pick it up.

Is she drunk?

[SeaMonster]

On 9/11/2023 at 4:55 PM, Hardkill said:

If there are plenty of girls out there who just want casual sex and nothing more, then why don't guys just approach every girl they talk in a sexually explicit manner right away until they find the girl or girls who are down to use a guy just for sex with no strings attached?

This is known as direct game.  The problem is that most guys don't have the thick skin/indifference to handle the amount of rejection they will face.  It is "low percentage game."  The analogy would be like in basketball your team chucking up a 30 footer every time down the court.

Also, it weighs heavier on the first impression/i.e. looks factor than indirect game.

Also, you have to have sufficient charm/charisma added into the directness to pull it off.

The way I look at it in terms of efficiency is (from least to most):

1) Cold Approach Direct game: Advantage - you pick whom to approach; less time spent; Disadvantage - need a strong vibe/charm/looks along with directness.

2) Cold Approach Indirect game: Advantage - you pick whom to approach; less automatic rejection than direct game because relies less on first impression; Disadvantage - still get plenty of rejection/flaking.

3) Warm Approach game: Advantage - the least amount of rejection/flaking out of all Game variants; Disadvantage - your pool of approachees is limited by their signals of interest, so you have to wait until the woman who gives you interest signals is attractive to you. Also, some guys are just terrible at reading indicators of interest from women (even though they are quite obvious.)

 

Edited September 16, 2023 by SeaMonster

[flowboy]

On 11/09/2023 at 10:55 PM, Hardkill said:

If there are plenty of girls out there who just want casual sex and nothing more, then why don't guys just approach every girl they talk in a sexually explicit manner right away until they find the girl or girls who are down to use a guy just for sex with no strings attached?

Because that doesn't feel like a 'win' for a woman.

For a woman, sex only feels like a 'win' if it is with someone who displayed enough of some personality trait that it tickles her ape brain and makes her feel like he would be a high-ranking or at least well-connected and valued member of his tribe.

(It's a myth that one has to be an 'alpha male', but one can't display obvious loser characteristics, which unfortunately coalesce with childhood trauma symptoms, but that's another story)

This could be as simple as being confident and chill (because low-ranking males would have people-pleasing tendencies, they have to modify themselves to be accepted and if they were too confident, they would get challenged), but also it could be just by displaying social intelligence.

Social intelligence ("getting it") is a signal that she's not going home with a loser, because he understands how to position himself and make alliances with others in a tribe because of his social intelligence. Which means that if she had a child with him, it wouldn't get killed by other males and she would get provided for.

Watch "Chimp Empire" on Netflix and you will understand

@Hardkill And so asking many women "Do you want to have sex" right off the bat displays low social intelligence, because if you do that in a tribe, you'd quickly be beaten or outcast for being a sociopath. That's why it doesn't work well. It's because if a woman hears that, she feels instantly humiliated and offended, like she would be demoted to the lowest social status if she took an offer like that.

Because a guy who is that socially inept, is also likely to not be successful in other areas of life, that is true today as much as it was when we were primitive tribesmen.

Sometimes it will still work if a woman is lonely or needy enough, but she won't feel good about that choice and will likely want to erase it and you from her mind. Just telling that story would lower her status.

If you have other qualities or a reputation that would give you a high value, you can compensate with that and still make the strategy you described work. If you're in the band that she's a fan of, or her friends already look up to you for some reason and your reputation precedes you, that changes things.

Edited September 18, 2023 by flowboy

[Javfly33]

3 minutes ago, flowboy said:

Because that doesn't feel like a 'win' for a woman.

For a woman, sex only feels like a 'win' if it is with someone who displayed enough of some personality trait that it tickles her ape brain and makes her feel like he would be a high-ranking or at least well-connected and valued member of his tribe.

(It's a myth that one has to be an 'alpha male', but one can't display obvious loser characteristics, which unfortunately coalesce with childhood trauma symptoms, but that's another story)

This could be as simple as being confident and chill (because low-ranking males would have people-pleasing tendencies, they have to modify themselves to be accepted and if they were too confident, they would get challenged), but also it could be just by displaying social intelligence.

Social intelligence ("getting it") is a signal that she's not going home with a loser, because he understands how to position himself and make alliances with others in a tribe because of his social intelligence. Which means that if she had a child with him, it wouldn't get killed by other males and she would get provided for.

Watch "Chimp Empire" on Netflix and you will understand

@Hardkill And so asking many women "Do you want to have sex" right off the bat displays low social intelligence, because if you do that in a tribe, you'd quickly be beaten or outcast for being a sociopath. That's why it doesn't work well. It's because if a woman hears that, she feels instantly humiliated and offended, like she would be demoted to the lowest social status if she took an offer like that.

Because a guy who is that socially inept, is also likely to not be successful in other areas of life, that is true today as much as it was when we were primitive tribesmen.

Sometimes it will still work if a woman is lonely or needy enough, but she won't feel good about that choice and will likely want to erase it and you from her mind. Just telling that story would lower her status.

Damn, Interesting how we are not that different from chimps ?