Why are we even here?

[BojackHorseman]

Why do we even do all these things? I feel icky thinking about humans smiling, having fun, crying like they're big deal, repeating the same mistakes again, making a fuss out of love, being egotistic, getting their life sucked out by children, rotting

I want to disappear. I'm tired of words, tired of thinking about the same small concepts, and bigger concepts are just an illusion so we can pretend there's something beyond, and we're so smart, and connected.
What is wrong with me? Humans should probably not feel like that.

I have no trauma. Everyone is nice to me.

FUCK

This is not a teenage vent.

This is actually and old man's vent.It doesn't make it more legit, but I tried to fight depression, since I was 16 or so, and despite doing the usual things, I always end up getting sucked literally deeper and deeper. It's not getting better now, it's getting worse.

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

Depression is one who sees things clearly while weponizing the insights(based on their biases). Fucking Welcome to waking up. ?

Edited September 9, 2023 by MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI

[Someone here]

@BojackHorseman what is the most thing you love in life ?

[BojackHorseman]

20 hours ago, Someone here said:

@BojackHorseman what is the most thing you love in life ?

There's no "most" I think.

I love...my wife, animals, cinema, music, comics, books, creating things (even tho lately I'm very conflicted about it), sex...and probably a lot of other small things.

But thinking about the things I love doesn't seem to help right now? Unless you got an idea to work something out of this I suppose

[BojackHorseman]

20 hours ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

Depression is one who sees things clearly while weponizing the insights(based on their biases). Fucking Welcome to waking up. ?

I don't understand the weaponizing part.

Also, I don't think depression is necessarily waking up. It could have been a "dark night of the soul" phase, but it's been here for way too long and the more it goes the less I seem to feel good. I think people that are actually awaken to the true sense of life don't have depression.

Some "stupid people", that "don't think too much" (no judgment at all) are probably way more awaken and close to truth than me in a sense.

 

[Yimpa]

9 hours ago, BojackHorseman said:

I love...my wife, animals, cinema, music, comics, books, creating things (even tho lately I'm very conflicted about it), sex...and probably a lot of other small things.

But thinking about the things I love doesn't seem to help right now? Unless you got an idea to work something out of this I suppose

You love those things, but what happens if you were to let go of your ideas of what you have about them?

[BojackHorseman]

On 10/09/2023 at 3:54 PM, Yimpa said:

You love those things, but what happens if you were to let go of your ideas of what you have about them?

I feel stupid but I''m not sure what exact ideas I have of those.

I could try some kind of automatic writing here :

my wife : reassuring, comfy, strong
animals : no thinking, acting as an animal myself, instinctive reactions
cinema/music/etc : magic, other universes, passion, infinite

creating : mystic, language, reproducing, communication

sex : reall hard to think here. It's just exciting sensations

Well, this probably doesn't help.

More generally it's hard to let go of whatever my ideas about those could be cause I really feel like they're me.

I could try and reset my ego and whatnot, but I also feel very certain that I resonate with those to such a deep level, and -mostly- without cons, that I don't see the idea behind stripping them of what they'd mean to me. Did you have any specific idea asking this? Any preconceived path I was supposed to go though while asking myself?

[Yimpa]

@BojackHorseman Thank you for sharing. Makes me realize that letting go can also mean letting go of having a narrow idea of what you love.

[jdc7733]

@BojackHorseman if you feel icky about those things, shouldn’t you feel about complaining about those things? You could just feel good about everything, like why don’t you just feel good about everything? 

[Raze]

 

[TreyMoney]

Why are we even here? We are here to experience. 

Everything is an experience. Some experiences are pleasant, some are unpleasant, some of neutral.

Everyone is playing their parts, acting in accordance with their characters, wearing their personas, believing they actually are who they are pretending to be. Its cute really. 

But i understand sometimes it can be nauseating to be the only one on stage who knows its make believe.

 

[ShardMare]

Its weird that people who have depression ask these questions but people who are fine, happy dont.

Why arent happy people doing philosophy?

[Yimpa]

On 11/10/2023 at 1:15 PM, Raze said:

 

First time I’ve ever seen someone link a Vimeo video on here. Always something new to learn in unexpected ways!

[Yimpa]

1 hour ago, ShardMare said:

Its weird that people who have depression ask these questions but people who are fine, happy dont.

Why arent happy people doing philosophy?

We tend to put labels like that onto people, assuming that they are merely that. However, we all put on an act in many different ways while living in a society and as a human to keep everything together and relatively stable.

[eos_nyxia]

On 2023-09-09 at 9:50 PM, BojackHorseman said:

Also, I don't think depression is necessarily waking up. It could have been a "dark night of the soul" phase, but it's been here for way too long and the more it goes the less I seem to feel good. I think people that are actually awaken to the true sense of life don't have depression.

Some "stupid people", that "don't think too much" (no judgment at all) are probably way more awaken and close to truth than me in a sense.

"The Fool" is the first tarot card in the major arcana for a reason, thematically speaking.

[Yimpa]

Just now, Akashic said:

It's up to you. You are God, this isn't rocket science 😊

And the rocket scientist is also God, but the rocket scientist isn’t aware of themselves as being God unless they realize that science is really imaginary; imagined by no one else but God!