I lot of my issues seems to come from family

[The Redeemer]

So a little bit about me.....

I come from a very conservative home. I grew up in a very stage blue environment where I went to a private Christian school and had to follow rigid rules/dress code.

I wasn't allowed to express myself as an individual the way I wanted to growing up.

This caused me feelings of anger and resentment, which I still have to this day.

I hated not being able to express myself. I was a very creative person deep down, but all of it got squashed down by the rigid dogma my school and family taught me. 

My dad didn't encourage critical thinking at all. In fact, he hated when I would question anything. He just wanted me to follow the rules without questioning anything. 

I'm not sure where I am going with this, but needless to say. I don't know how I am supposed to heal from this. I don't know how to express myself in the way I am authentically am supposed to.

I don't think I cultivated an identity because I was never allowed to

It is like I am still stuck being a teenager discovering who they are, but I am 26 years old.

Its Quite sad.

[Yimpa]

I can relate to a lot of what you said. The fact that you’re self aware of this is a step in the right direction. You have what it takes to move forward, but it’s not going to be easy whatsoever.

[Thought Art]

The king's taken back the throne
The useless seed is sown
When they say they're cutting off the phone
I tell 'em you're not home

No place to hide
You were fighting as a soldier on their side
You're still a soldier in your mind
Though nothing's on the line

You say it's money that we need
As if we're only mouths to feed
I know no matter what you say
There are some debts you'll never pay

Working for the Church while your family dies
You take what they give you and you keep it inside
Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"

I can taste the fear
Lift me up and take me out of here
Don't wanna fight, don't wanna die
Just wanna hear you cry

Who's gonna throw the very first stone?
Oh! Who's gonna reset the bone?
Walking with your head in a sling
Wanna hear the soldier sing:
"Been working for the Church while my family dies
Your little baby sister's gonna lose her mind
Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home"
Hear the soldier groan "We'll go at it alone.

I can taste your fear
It's gonna lift you up and take you out of here
And the bone shall never heal
I care not if you kneel

We can't find you now
But they're gonna get the money back somehow
And when you finally disappear
We'll just say you were never here

Working for the church while your life falls apart
Singing halleluiah with the fear in your heart
Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"
Hear the soldier groan, "We'll go at it alone"