I don't care what you say, porn is damaging

[The Redeemer]

I honestly believe a lot of my hatred for women comes from my porn use. Porn conditions you to expect the highest quality partner, so when you actually have a girl in front of you, you can't enjoy her fully because you are subconsciously comparing her to all the other previous girls that you have masturbated to.

What this does is build a subtle feeling of hatred for the woman that you are with and causes you to dislike her.

This is why I have stopped watching porn.

I legitimately want to appreciate a woman for her own natural authentic beauty.

I am tired of viewing them as nothing but sexual objects.

Edited September 7, 2023 by The Redeemer

[Richard Purdy]

Go out and talk to women. I think your view will change. You're looking at the online fronts, where everyone pretends, including men

[The Redeemer]

3 minutes ago, Richard Purdy said:

Go out and talk to women. I think your view will change. You're looking at the online fronts, where everyone pretends, including men

Certainly 

[Raze]

19 minutes ago, Richard Purdy said:

Go out and talk to women. I think your view will change. You're looking at the online fronts, where everyone pretends, including men

Stop. This person has severe mental issues and rage and isn’t in a state to talk to random women. Do not encourage him to do this.

[Thought Art]

Hey redeemer, do you know what your attachment style is?

I personally like porn… but when I’m with a woman it’s way better and I’m very very content.

I love women. 
 

But, I can relate to the feelings of anger towards women. I notice it in myself as a covering over things like shame, feeling of powerlessness, or being overwhelmed by their beauty. It’s worth feeling into and contemplating this anger over a long period of time. 
 

But, you can work through all that shit and grow into a man who authentically is grounded in his own power and self love. Then, you can authentically love a woman, and women as a whole. It’s one most rewarding things to develop in your life as a man.

 

Get more experience with women. If you love them skillfully, they love you back. It’s design.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Thought Art

[UnbornTao]

Stop watching porn then.

Edited September 8, 2023 by UnbornTao

[The Redeemer]

13 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Hey redeemer, do you know what your attachment style is?

I personally like porn… but when I’m with a woman it’s way better and I’m very very content.

I love women. 
 

But, I can relate to the feelings of anger towards women. I notice it in myself as a covering over things like shame, feeling of powerlessness, or being overwhelmed by their beauty. It’s worth feeling into and contemplating this anger over a long period of time. 
 

But, you can work through all that shit and grow into a man who authentically is grounded in his own power and self love. Then, you can authentically love a woman, and women as a whole. It’s one most rewarding things to develop in your life as a man.

 

Get more experience with women. If you love them skillfully, they love you back. It’s design.

I am not sure what my attachment style is

[Thought Art]

Google some attachment style questionnaires and see what you find. 

[The Redeemer]

19 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

Hey redeemer, do you know what your attachment style is?

I personally like porn… but when I’m with a woman it’s way better and I’m very very content.

I love women. 
 

But, I can relate to the feelings of anger towards women. I notice it in myself as a covering over things like shame, feeling of powerlessness, or being overwhelmed by their beauty. It’s worth feeling into and contemplating this anger over a long period of time. 
 

But, you can work through all that shit and grow into a man who authentically is grounded in his own power and self love. Then, you can authentically love a woman, and women as a whole. It’s one most rewarding things to develop in your life as a man.

 

Get more experience with women. If you love them skillfully, they love you back. It’s design.

I am either Dismissive-Avoidant or Fearful-Avoidant.

[Thought Art]

@The Redeemer That is a good place to start. It can help by studying the healthier attachment styles and the practices, Techniques and methods of developing a healthy attachment style.

[The Redeemer]

5 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@The Redeemer That is a good place to start. It can help by studying the healthier attachment styles and the practices, Techniques and methods of developing a healthy attachment style.

I will look into it

[Thought Art]

@The Redeemer I asked chat GPT to list the elements of a healthy attachment style. Here is the output:

 

A healthy attachment style typically includes the following elements:

1. **Secure Base**: Feeling safe and secure in the presence of your caregiver or partner.

2. **Trust**: Believing that your caregiver or partner is dependable and reliable.

3. **Effective Communication**: Open and honest communication with your caregiver or partner.

4. **Emotional Regulation**: The ability to manage and express emotions in a healthy way.

5. **Autonomy**: Feeling comfortable with independence while still seeking and providing support.

6. **Mutual Respect**: Respecting each other's boundaries and autonomy.

7. **Conflict Resolution**: The capacity to resolve conflicts constructively and without fear of abandonment.

8. **Comfort with Intimacy**: A willingness to be vulnerable and emotionally close without fear of rejection.

9. **Consistency**: Expecting consistent care and support from your caregiver or partner.

10. **Empathy and Compassion**: Both partners showing empathy and compassion towards each other's needs and emotions.

A healthy attachment style fosters a sense of security and connection in relationships, allowing individuals to thrive both emotionally and socially. Keep in mind that attachment styles can evolve and change over time based on life experiences and personal growth.

[The Redeemer]

2 minutes ago, Thought Art said:

@The Redeemer I asked chat GPT to list the elements of a healthy attachment style. Here is the output:

 

A healthy attachment style typically includes the following elements:

1. **Secure Base**: Feeling safe and secure in the presence of your caregiver or partner.

2. **Trust**: Believing that your caregiver or partner is dependable and reliable.

3. **Effective Communication**: Open and honest communication with your caregiver or partner.

4. **Emotional Regulation**: The ability to manage and express emotions in a healthy way.

5. **Autonomy**: Feeling comfortable with independence while still seeking and providing support.

6. **Mutual Respect**: Respecting each other's boundaries and autonomy.

7. **Conflict Resolution**: The capacity to resolve conflicts constructively and without fear of abandonment.

8. **Comfort with Intimacy**: A willingness to be vulnerable and emotionally close without fear of rejection.

9. **Consistency**: Expecting consistent care and support from your caregiver or partner.

10. **Empathy and Compassion**: Both partners showing empathy and compassion towards each other's needs and emotions.

A healthy attachment style fosters a sense of security and connection in relationships, allowing individuals to thrive both emotionally and socially. Keep in mind that attachment styles can evolve and change over time based on life experiences and personal growth.

What are you supposed to do when you don't feel safe or secure with your parents. Do I just need to give them up completely? Like never talk to them again. Because it doesn't look like my family is going to change or cares how I feel.

[Thought Art]

@The Redeemer I don’t know the answer to that. But, suspect there is a good book, or section in a book on attachment theory that has tips, tricks and exercises. Could be worth going on amazon and reading the table of contents to find that answer.

Or, just google that exact question or ask ChatGPT.

I asked ChatGPT “What are the most important principles in effective human relating:

The most important principles for success in human relationships include:

1. **Communication**: Effective and open communication is crucial. Listen actively, express yourself clearly, and show empathy toward others' perspectives.

2. **Trust**: Build and maintain trust by being reliable, honest, and consistent in your actions and words.

3. **Respect**: Treat others with respect, valuing their feelings, opinions, and boundaries. Mutual respect is the foundation of healthy relationships.

4. **Empathy**: Try to understand and validate the emotions and experiences of others, which fosters a deeper connection.

5. **Boundaries**: Establish and respect personal boundaries to ensure both individuals' comfort and autonomy.

6. **Conflict Resolution**: Learn how to manage conflicts constructively, seeking solutions rather than escalating disagreements.

7. **Support**: Offer support and be there for others during challenging times. A supportive presence strengthens relationships.

8. **Quality Time**: Spend quality time together, nurturing the connection through shared experiences and activities.

9. **Appreciation**: Express gratitude and appreciation for the people in your life regularly.

10. **Self-Care**: Take care of yourself physically and emotionally, as your well-being influences your ability to maintain healthy relationships.

11. **Forgiveness**: Be willing to forgive and let go of grudges when appropriate, as forgiveness can lead to healing and growth.

12. **Flexibility**: Adapt to change and be open to compromise when necessary.

13. **Equality**: Promote equality and fairness in your relationships, ensuring that power dynamics are balanced.

14. **Authenticity**: Be true to yourself and encourage others to do the same. Authenticity fosters genuine connections.

15. **Patience**: Understand that relationships take time to develop and evolve, and not everything happens instantly.

These principles can help you build and maintain fulfilling, positive relationships with friends, family, romantic partners, and colleagues. Remember that successful relationships require ongoing effort and communication from all parties involved.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

I asked ChatGPT to describe Fearful Avoidant attachment style;

The Fearful-Avoidant attachment style, also known as Disorganized or Anxious-Avoidant attachment, is a complex and often contradictory attachment pattern. Individuals with this style exhibit a blend of characteristics associated with both Avoidant and Anxious attachment styles. Here are some key features of the Fearful-Avoidant attachment style:

1. **Ambivalence**: People with this attachment style have a deep desire for emotional closeness and intimacy, but they also fear it. They may crave a close relationship but struggle with the vulnerability it entails.

2. **Mixed Signals**: They may send mixed signals in relationships, alternating between seeking closeness and pushing others away. This behavior can be confusing to both themselves and their partners.

3. **Past Trauma**: Often, this attachment style develops as a result of past traumatic experiences or inconsistent caregiving during childhood. They may have experienced both moments of comfort and moments of fear or neglect from their caregivers.

4. **Fear of Rejection**: Fearful-Avoidant individuals are afraid of being rejected or abandoned, which can lead to high levels of anxiety in relationships.

5. **Difficulty Trusting**: Due to past experiences, they may find it challenging to trust others fully. They may anticipate that others will hurt or disappoint them.

6. **Self-Sabotage**: They tend to sabotage their own relationships, often when they become too close or when things start going well. This self-sabotage is a way to protect themselves from potential hurt.

7. **Inner Conflict**: There is often a significant inner conflict between their desire for closeness and their fear of vulnerability. This can lead to emotional turmoil and indecision.

8. **Low Self-Esteem**: They may have low self-esteem and believe that they are unworthy of love or that they will inevitably be rejected.

9. **Inconsistency**: Their behavior can be inconsistent, and they may have difficulty maintaining stable, long-term relationships.

10. **Therapy and Self-Reflection**: Therapy can be particularly beneficial for individuals with a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style to explore and work through the underlying fears and unresolved issues contributing to their attachment patterns.

It's important to remember that attachment styles are not fixed, and with self-awareness and therapeutic support, individuals with a Fearful-Avoidant attachment style can develop more secure and fulfilling relationships over time.

[oldhandle]

I'm not saying everyone who watches porn will end up like this, but let's be real, without internet porn, this person could not have been possible:
 

 

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

On 9/7/2023 at 7:21 PM, The Redeemer said:

I honestly believe a lot of my hatred for women comes from my porn use. Porn conditions you to expect the highest quality partner, so when you actually have a girl in front of you, you can't enjoy her fully because you are subconsciously comparing her to all the other previous girls that you have masturbated to.

What this does is build a subtle feeling of hatred for the woman that you are with and causes you to dislike her.

This is why I have stopped watching porn.

I legitimately want to appreciate a woman for her own natural authentic beauty.

I am tired of viewing them as nothing but sexual objects.

Porn is not damaging. Nothing is wrong seeing nude people..Light pixels. 

You can either view them as a sexual object or you can appreciate and value their ability to satisfy our basic sexual needs. This goes for the majority of creatures on earth. You indulge in toxic femininity. Women use weird words that distort what is going on.

Your isolation has led you to weak-mindedness!

 

Edited September 9, 2023 by MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI

[oldhandle]

People who say porn is not damaging are going to look like the people who said cigarettes aren't damaging - eventually the evidence will become so undeniable and there will be so many cases of extreme damage due to porn (like the video I linked above that you ignored) that only absolutely hopelessly addicted in-denial people will still say porn is not damaging. 

Edited September 9, 2023 by oldhandle

[SeaMonster]

On 9/9/2023 at 3:39 AM, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

You can either view them as a sexual object or you can appreciate and value their ability to satisfy our basic sexual needs. This goes for the majority of creatures on earth. You indulge in toxic femininity. Women use weird words that distort what is going on.

That is...such a cope.

Of course it's damaging.  It's SEDATION, like any other form (drugs, alcohol, video games, etc.)

[Tenebroso]

I'm on day 10 of what I hope will be a long No Fap streak. It's the sedation aspect which is driving me, just feels pathetic to sedate yourself as a way of avoiding your problems. I think some porn watching, drinking can be ok for a more actualized socially and sexually successful guy but for most of us porn, drugs, alcohol and video games are a cope.