I think I have low self-esteem

[The Redeemer]

Just being honest with myself here. I seem to have low feelings of self-worth.

I am noticing I have thoughts like:

"You're to skinny"

"You're to small"

"You have long hair"

And because of all these things I am supposed to feel bad about myself.

If I truly wanted to fit in with society, I would cut my hair and get big and strong. 

My ex even told me that she wanted a big and strong man to take care of her needs.

They want a strong guy. I am not strong.

I have a hard time eating food and gaining muscle because I get sick easily and I find eating a lot repulsive. Maybe there is a way I can just bulk up with shakes.

I know a lot of pickup ideology says looks don't matter, but I think it does.

Women like using you as a trophy and want you to look nice and shiny so they can brag to their girlfriends about you.

Their might be a correlation between physicality and self esteem.

If you don't feel strong. Than you aren't strong. The only way I can feel strong is to be physically strong. 

At least that is how I see it.

Edited September 7, 2023 by The Redeemer

[Raze]

So why don’t you get psychological treatment for your core emotional issues instead of approaching random women then coming onto the forum to complain about bad reactions?

[The Redeemer]

5 minutes ago, Raze said:

So why don’t you get psychological treatment for your core emotional issues instead of approaching random women then coming onto the forum to complain about bad reactions?

Because I do not have the funds right now to pursue therapy.

[Spiritedness]

Go to the gym, practice self-compassion (there is a very famous book on it by Neff) and realize that your ex are not 'they'. Bulking is indeed hard in the beginning, but you have to push through and then eating gets easier. I can personally help you out in regards to training/nutrition for muscle hypertrophy, feel free to DM

[Raze]

1 hour ago, The Redeemer said:

Because I do not have the funds right now to pursue therapy.

Stop doing pickup and use that time to get a job 

[The Redeemer]

14 minutes ago, Raze said:

Stop doing pickup and use that time to get a job 

??

[Thought Art]

Your mind is tricking you. 
 

You can be skinny and be attractive.

But, also working through your stuff and learning to love women in a mature way will go far. 
 

What you need is more conscious and self love.

The more you love women, and the more you love yourself you’ll have better results. 
 

It can take time to work through that. 
 

Building some muscle can help, purifying your mind and heart can help, loving and respecting yourself, others and women can help as well. Put in some healthy effort to improve your looks. I think that is actually healthy. I know when I feel relaxed, funny, sexy and flirtatious women respond very well to that. The energy and framing you go into situations is very important. Don’t assume one women’s preferences are that of all women. They can vary greatly. 

Be mindful of all the bullshit from social media telling you “what’s attractive”. Simply socialize more. Get direct experience. Do some practices and keep working through your bullshit. 

On the other side of bullshit… is so much love you wouldn’t believe.

Take building your self esteem, self image, self love very seriously. Also, go about working through all the bullshit ideas fed to you on social media via direct experience.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Thought Art

[Yimpa]

I am as skinny as a twig and have attracted beautiful women.

[UnbornTao]

Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel something.

[The Redeemer]

10 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

I am as skinny as a twig and have attracted beautiful women.

I have to. I'm just saying it helps to become strong. In order to maximize your level of attractiveness.

[Yimpa]

2 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel something.

Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs

*Nathaniel Branden

Edited September 8, 2023 by Yimpa

[UnbornTao]

32 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs

*Nathaniel Branden

Thank you.  

Edited September 8, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Sugarcoat]

why are you attracted to this forum? 

[Yimpa]

10 hours ago, Sugarcoat said:

why are you attracted to this forum? 

Definitely healthier than the massive amount of crap I used to be attracted to on the internet.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Yimpa said:

Definitely healthier than the massive amount of crap I used to be attracted to on the internet.

Absolutely I agree . 

 

yea it makes sense why you would be attracted to this place, I’m just curious how it works for these people who write this hateful stuff, what’s it they’re drawn to about this stuff . Like they feel they’re outside society or something, which they are in a way but it’s a different way if I’m making sense… lol

 

[Yimpa]

18 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I’m just curious how it works for these people who write this hateful stuff, what’s it they’re drawn to about this stuff . Like they feel they’re outside society or something, which they are in a way but it’s a different way if I’m making sense… lol

Men traditionally were not able to express a wide range of emotions openly. Sadness and fear is seen as weakness; anger is seen as being strong and assertive.

The Redeemer clearly has emotional needs that aren’t being met, and haven’t been met for a long time. It’s a cry for help.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

[nhoktinvt]

the wolf amongus

[mr_engineer]

 

[Sugarcoat]

25 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Men traditionally were not able to express a wide range of emotions openly. Sadness and fear is seen as weakness; anger is seen as being strong and assertive.

The Redeemer clearly has emotional needs that aren’t being met, and haven’t been met for a long time. It’s a cry for help.

A wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Yea I see I have also spilled my guts out on this forum but I was just curious how it works in his mind because for me it was like energetic attraction to this place but it doesn’t seem to be the same for him like it’s coming from a different place 

Edited September 8, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

19 minutes ago, nhoktinvt said:

the wolf amongus

?