Pickup is fuckin hard

[Ulax]

On 9/6/2023 at 6:52 AM, WonderSeeker said:

Pickup is not easy. In fact I believe its way harder than spirituality, lol. 

I'm 25. I've already spent 10k in coaching (including 2 RSD bootcamps), done 400 cold approaches in 2 years (with 300 of them being in the last 5 months), and gotten laid 0 times. 

Between July 2021 and now, my fear around going out and approaching was reducing, but shot back up in the past month (not sure why). My skill was plateauing and after just working with Jeffy infield, my game got worse. (Part of the natural progression??) 

For the typical person, this would be sufficient grounds for quitting. 400 approaches, no intimacy, and now getting worse? Hell, I'm almost reluctant to post this as it might deter newbies. But proper expectations go a long way. 

But here's the thing: I am not giving up, I'm only going to go harder. I've made it my goal to go out EVERY night and walk around the club area just to get in the habit of being out there without necessarily approaching. Then on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday try and get together with wings to go ham. 

This is the only way. I'm scared at the soul level, but I've got to do it. It's the fight of my life. Who can relate?

 

You got this bro, imo.

My recommendation would be to set more goals. It appears to me you currently have two metrics by which you judge your results. One: Getting laid. Two: Level of anxiety.

You could add in many more micro goals, such as just working on approaching. Or just working on holding eye contact. Or holding conversations for longer periods. That way you are going to win a lot more imo, and therefore build momentum.

Effective goal setting is a really important part of progressing skills in any domain imo.