Need help reflecting on a profound experience that delved into metaphysical fears

[Fountainbleu]

I took part in a wachuma (san pedro cactus) ceremony while traveling in Latin America. It was a very powerful and intense ceremony. For context, partaking in the ceremony was a group of eastern europeans and someone from North America. Once I started to really feel the medicines effects I started to feel the energies of some of the people there were infiltrating mine. I started to get paranoid thoughts. One of the space holders for the ceremony, a younger guy, when I asked for help he seemed to get energized by my distress rather than helping me. The main shaman, who I silently called upon for assistance, seemed unresponsive to my apparent inner turmoil. 

Then later we took a walk out into some sacred ruins and the facilitator said we were going to make prayers at this sacred temple where supposedly the first humans were born. At this point I was feeling pretty paranoid. The people I felt were infiltrating my energy kept looking at me and laughing that felt dark. I felt they were the grey's aliens and infiltrating my mind when I was about to go into the temple to make these very important prayers. I thought they were changing the future of humanity by messing with me. I thought I was paving the way for humanity through my prayers. Even though I had these fears I went into the temple with my best intentions and made prayers of gratitude, peace, love, and joy, for myself and humanity. 

I was in the temple for a while and when I came out only the shaman was there. The others went on a hike. Still feeling fear, I asked the shaman what he thought about those people and he said they were "bad people". I felt more fear when he shared this but didn't want to say they were bad people so stayed quite. When I asked him again what he meant they were bad people (still feeling fear) he seemed to get upset. Like I disappointed him. Then he asked me what my profession was. I currently not sure of my purpose/aligning with highest excitement (in between jobs) and in that state didn't feel called to answer a question about work. I asked him why he wanted to know and he said to connect. I answered I work in love. 

He seemed to be really disappointed by my answer. At that moment I felt this curandero, a seer, was creating realities based off my fears. I thought I was doomed and the next morning my life was going to be changed. Things spirled 'down' after that. The rest of the night I was experiencing a lot of fear and thought I was being psyhychly attacked by these people. I was afraid to go to sleep that night thinking I was going to wake up into a new reality.

Since the ceremony life has been great actually. I've grown a lot since it and expericing more joy and harmony. I know to focus on the now, but an aspect of me fears there's a parallel version of me expericing this reality the Russians and shaman brought onto me. And the me now actually is a new me that shifted into a new reality.  
 
 

Edited September 3, 2023 by Fountainbleu

[Razard86]

This is just your ego reacting, something similar has happened to me before where I was hit with profound paranoia. Anytime you get hit with deep fear, terror, paranoia etc understand it is just your ego. It's not a big deal, just sit with the emotion. So freeze whatever you are doing, sit and allow that emotion expression. If you do this long enough you can become aware that you can actually function just fine while feeling terror, paranoia, etc. You can even investigate that feeling by putting your awareness on it, and then laugh at how you ever let emotions take control of you in the past. 

It's a cool exercise, if you find this hard you may have to practice creating space between you and your emotions first as a daily practice. 

[Fountainbleu]

21 hours ago, Razard86 said:

This is just your ego reacting, something similar has happened to me before where I was hit with profound paranoia. Anytime you get hit with deep fear, terror, paranoia etc understand it is just your ego. It's not a big deal, just sit with the emotion. So freeze whatever you are doing, sit and allow that emotion expression. If you do this long enough you can become aware that you can actually function just fine while feeling terror, paranoia, etc. You can even investigate that feeling by putting your awareness on it, and then laugh at how you ever let emotions take control of you in the past. 

It's a cool exercise, if you find this hard you may have to practice creating space between you and your emotions first as a daily practice. 

Thank you. I get you but reading it it kind of feels like wishful thinking. How about the whole parallel reality thing?

[Fountainbleu]

On 9/4/2023 at 2:34 PM, Fountainbleu said:

Thank you. I get you but reading it it kind of feels like wishful thinking. How about the whole parallel reality thing?

@Razard86?