Been trying to quit porn/do NoFap for a long time, in these circles, they recommend..

[Princess Arabia]

All addictions are rooted in one thing, lack of Self Love. It's not the porn that's the problem, porn is just the symptom, a tool. There are all kinds of different ways we search for love, a feeling. It's a feeling we're looking for. So when we keep talking about porn this and porn that, doesn't matter, we'll just go latch on to something else. We demonize things when the things themselves have no power over us unless we give it power. Why do we do the things we do should be the question. How to generate our own feelings of self worth and how to give ourselves the love we seek should be the solution to the answer.

Edited September 5, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[strika]

57 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

All addictions are rooted in one thing, lack of Self Love. It's not the porn that's the problem, porn is just the symptom, a tool. There are all kinds of different ways we search for love, a feeling. It's a feeling we're looking for. So when we keep talking about porn this and porn that, doesn't matter, we'll just go latch on to something else. We demonize things when the things themselves have no power over us unless we give it power. Why do we do the things we do should be the question. How to generate our own feelings of self worth and how to give ourselves the love we seek should be the solution to the answer.

I wouldn't say that porn is the symptom, it's definitely the problem itself, it's impossible to have self-love and watch porn in any way whatsoever, doesn't matter if it comes from the point of view of art or addiction it will take some of your energy nevertheless which is the reason why a person would be watching it in the first place, it's because it's going to give them some type of pleasant feeling in exchange for some of their sexual energy, doesn't have to be an orgasm, just a nice feeling is enough.

 

Our natural state is pure, innocent bliss, it's the state one is born in, when we are younger it's the state every single person was in (bar anomalies that were really extremely abused or had some hard disease from the start)

 

And throughout our youth and teens this bliss really gradually gets lost through bad habits, bad habits are things that give pleasure (of any degree, it can be subtle pleasure (like watching a cartoon for the sake of entertainment) or it can be extreme (orgasm) ) in exchange for that blissful energy and sexual energy is the by far the biggest source of energy which is why society is and has always been so sexually oriented, more oriented towards it than any other pleasure in the world (procreation argument aka "it's natural to want to have sex because of procreation" is bad argument because 99% of time when people have sex it's for the sake of pleasure not procreation which is basically people overusing their instinct to cope with life, if people only had sex to create children that would be a good argument of course)

 

And because of this something like porn is the problem, it shouldn't be accepted in any way whatsoever, it shouldn't be demonized either but one should always have the intention to remove porn out of their life because it's another parasite that drains ones energy no matter from which perspective they go about watching it, doesn't matter if they are lustful or artful, their blissful energy will be taken as a consequence which means their self-love which is a natural state of being of every being will weaken, and slightly little by little lead toward self-hate if a person accepts a parasite like that for a long time, same goes for every other pleasure there is that drains energy, even if it's just little amount, it still shouldn't be accepted, assuming that one wants so self-actualize and be self-loving. 

 

We have to be practical about things like these and eliminate the things that are parasites of our natural self-love and not just accept anything in our relative lives because the absolute has that perspective, and counter-intuitively by not accepting those parasites in our lives (aka by not being loving towards them) we will experience much more self-love than if we kept those things in our life and tried loving them, porn is a problem no matter if we give it power or not and one should have the intention of removing it out of their life, end of story.

Edited September 5, 2023 by strika

[Princess Arabia]

35 minutes ago, strika said:

I wouldn't say that porn is the symptom, it's definitely a problem, it's impossible to have self-love and watch porn in any way whatsoever, doesn't matter if it comes from the point of view of art or addiction it will take some of your energy nevertheless which is the reason why a person would be watching it in the first place, it's because it's going to give them some type of pleasent feeling in exchange for some of their sexual energy, doesn't have to be an orgasm, just a nice feeling is enough.

 

Our natural state is pure, innocent bliss, it's the state one is born in, when we are younger it's the state every single person was in (bar anomalies that were really extremely abused or had some hard disease from the start)

And throughout our youth and teens this bliss really gradually gets lost through bad habits, bad habits are things that give pleasure (of any degree, it can be subtle pleasure (like watching a cartoon for the sake of entertainment) or it can be extreme (orgasm) ) in exchange for that blissful energy and porn/sexual energy is the by far the biggest source of energy which is why society is and has always been so sexually oriented, more oriented towards it than any other pleasure in the world (procreation argument aka "it's natural to want to have sex because of procreation" is false because 99% of time when people have sex it's for the sake of pleasure not procreation, if people only had sex to create children that would be a good argument of course)

And because of this something like porn is the problem, it shouldn't be accepted in any way whatsoever, it shouldn't be demonized either but one should always have the intention to remove porn out of their life because it's another parasite that drains ones energy no matter from which perspective they go about watching it, doesn't matter if they are lustful or artful, their blissful energy will be taken as a consequence which means their self-love which is a natural state of being of every being will weaken, and slightly little by little lead toward self-hate if a person accepts a parasite like that for a long time, same goes for every other pleasure there is that drains energy, even if it's just little amount, it still shouldn't be accepted, assuming that one wants so self-actualize and be self-loving. 

We have to be practical about things like these and eliminate the things that are parasites of our natural self-love and not just accept anything in our relative lives because the absolute has that perspective, and counter-intuitively by not accepting those parasites in our lives (aka by not being loving towards them) we will experience much more self-love than if we kept those things in our life and tried loving them, porn is a problem no matter if we give it power or not and one should have the intention of removing it out of their life, end of story.

Everything is leading us to Source, so it has it's purpose. We over analyze things too much, myself included, and if we just learn to let go and enjoy life, accept ourselves and others, perceived faults and all, we'll become less contracted energetically and life will become smoother and more pleasurable instead of us going outside ourselves to find fulfillment. 

One thing I've noticed in life is, every time we turn around there's always something to debate upon and/or worry about and the self- conflicts just never end, so might as well accept what is because that's the essence of Infinity....it never ends. These debates and discussions are just experiences, nothing to really solve. Some gain value, some don't, and solving one problem will only lead to another to be solved. So why not just go the end. The end of all problems which is Love. Love of all, Love of life, Love of Self and the acceptance of it all. No judgements. When challenges arise, deal with them as such, a bump in the road that needs maneuvering. We're all equipped to deal with such bumps that's how we're still here. Life is doing it's thing, not us. It's the power within. We just have to learn how to use that power and steer it in the right direction. That's all these challenges are there for. Unless we move to the end, there will always be so-called problems. 

Edited September 5, 2023 by Princess Arabia

[strika]

34 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Everything is leading us to Source, so it has it's purpose. We over analyze things too much, myself included, and if we just learn to let go and enjoy life, accept ourselves and others, perceived faults and all, we'll become less contracted energetically and life will become smoother and more pleasurable instead of us going outside ourselves to find fulfillment. 

One thing I've noticed in life is, every time we turn around there's always something to debate upon and/or worry about and the self- conflicts just never end, so might as well accept what is because that's the essence of Infinity....it never ends. These debates and discussions are just experiences, nothing to really solve. Some gain value, some don't, and solving one problem will only lead to another to be solved. So why not just go the end. The end of all problems which is Love. Love of all, Love of life, Love of Self and the acceptance of it all. No judgements. When challenges arise, deal with them as such, a bump in the road that needs maneuvering. We're all equipped to deal with such bumps that's how we're still here. Life is doing it's thing, not us. It's the power within. We just have to learn how to use that power and steer it in the right direction. That's all these challenges are there for. Unless we move to the end, there will always be so-called problems. 

I don't think this is a balanced approach, it doesn't include the relative enough, both absolute and relative should be balanced in ones life in my opinion, focusing too much on this letting go approach isn't the best, letting God/universe do it's thing while at the same time letting your human self also make "decisions" and have "intentions" (which both are already predetermined by the absolute of course so you are not actually doing anything) is the best way to go about this, i personally have the approach of as a human wanting to not waste my sexual energy while at the same time being aware that what God wants is what is going to happen, God knows best and God already has my destiny set in stone and as of now a part of that destiny is for me the human to still rate the human approach equally to that of God and i don't think it will change, i think this is the wisest way to go about life in general, balance both absolute and relative. Try and let go at the same time.

[TheAlchemist]

Once had a nofap streak of 180 days. 

Not worth it although there were some minor benefits. It's not very healthy to supress sexuality IMO.

We need to look deeper into what the nature of addiction actually is and what is fuelling the compulsive behavior, if the behavior really is excessive. I highly recommend Gabor Mate's work. 

 

Edited September 5, 2023 by TheAlchemist

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, strika said:

I don't think this is a balanced approach, it doesn't include the relative enough, both absolute and relative should be balanced in ones life in my opinion, focusing too much on this letting go approach isn't the best, letting God/universe do it's thing while at the same time letting your human self also make "decisions" and have "intentions" (which both are already predetermined by the absolute of course so you are not actually doing anything) is the best way to go about this, i personally have the approach of as a human wanting to not waste my sexual energy while at the same time being aware that what God wants is what is going to happen, God knows best and God already has my destiny set in stone and as of now a part of that destiny is for me the human to still rate the human approach equally to that of God and i don't think it will change, i think this is the wisest way to go about life in general, balance both absolute and relative. Try and let go at the same time.

? I guess letting go can be taken literally for some and the meaning of that phrase can be interpreted in many different ways. For me it means don't stress over things, approach life with a certain trust that everything is working out for the highest good and trying not to get too attached to outcomes.

[strika]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

? I guess letting go can be taken literally for some and the meaning of that phrase can be interpreted in many different ways. For me it means don't stress over things, approach life with a certain trust that everything is working out for the highest good and trying not to get too attached to outcomes.

Of course, i absolutely agree with this

[Yimpa]

Simple litmus test:

If you’re unable to hang out and meet attractive people IRL; instead of seeking those connections, you’re constantly going back to PMO to avoid that, then yeah… make a conscious effort to work on your relationship and communication skills while also reducing your PMO habit.

Edited September 5, 2023 by Yimpa

[Tenebroso]

Six days into a new No Fap effort. Hope to make it to New Years Eve.

[Danioover9000]

@oldhandle

On 2023-09-03 at 1:15 AM, Danioover9000 said:

@oldhandle

   You have to keep in mind that the NoFap movement is geared towards teenagers and men who are addicted to this cycle of P.M.O, porn, masturbating, and orgasm, especially this dependency of porn to fapping, then porn to fapping again. Also pornography, and must fap while consuming some pornography material, AKA a type of OCD, obsessive compulsive disorder, but onto porn and masturbating. Men, and some boys, who watch porn and masturbating many times a day, think 5 to 10 times or slightly more even 20 times, that some may also suffer from porn indust erectile dysfunction. If this profile fits your situation, then you are the movements intended audience.

   IMO, the actual lesson from NoFap  is greater responsibility and ownership of your sexual cravings and sexuality, and developing the ability to masturbate with just your thoughts only, or just facing a dry wall of nothing externally sexually stimulating. When you feel more sensitive on your penis head,and when you get the 'morning wood' IMO is a safer time to masturbate, as that's the body and brain biological signals that sperm liquid is building up a bit and must release sooner or later. This point I don't consider a failure, it is fine to 'relapse',  and assuming you fit the bill for high dependence on porn and fapping, very strong sexual cravings, then expect to fail often. It makes sense to expect high failure, because what were you doing in your younger years in your bedroom and in the bathroom? Likely fapping tons, and being sneaky about your porn viewing, for months to years and years to then it being a habit hard wired witb your need to procreate. You take pleasure in not just the porn and fappjng, but it's likely a taboo activity, that your parents punished you for in some way, but at the same time that taboo and forbidding adds to that pleasure. Remember it's more psychological and less biological that created this steong attachment to porn and fappjng, one of many ways your mind can turn anything to pleasure.

   Okay, so far, I intuit you may not have as much a problem with porn, as you're dating, did one night stands, even having a girlfriend, so I can assume you are actually doing well so far, relatively speaking with women, have little to no issues with real sex. One thing to watch out for, is if you dating and fucking real women is a replacement for your porn dependency, you just want to defeat this bad habit, and rush the introspection and contemplation process of your psychology, then the having real sex becomes itself another crutch for your mind, and a more subtle way for your mind to further sexually objectifh women, as anotber means to fulfill those sex cravings. Another example is how you try to say your GF relieving isn't sex. Nopez that's a sexual act, yes technically a hand job or BJ js not penetrative sex, but just because it's not doesn't mean it isn't a sexual act. See how your mind did a reframe? Watch out for those distractions and psychological tactics your mind does. 

   Few more tips, fine to keel track of the days, just don't prioritize the NUMBERS, prioritize HOW YOU FEEL AND THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR SEXUALITY. Top concern is you and your buddy's relationship, not maths. And fap after morning woods, sleep, nutrition and rest.

   

 

On 2023-09-03 at 1:37 AM, Danioover9000 said:

@StarStruck

   Technically, pornography is natural in that it is social engineering, when a society is further domesticating and making men on average more docile and less wild like, less animalistic. That the intended purpose of pornography, to capture and provide a safety net to women by tiring out men's cravings, overwise you end up like with the alcohol prohibition in America. People wanted alcohol, government wanted to ban and did, then the free markets adjusted and increased black market interest in alcohol, whicb led to mafias earning more money all because of prohibition of alcohol, they paradoxically created more capitalism for alcohol but in black markets.

   The real issue is more excess of stage orange porn industry businesses, when capitalism becomes predatory and exploits sex for profit gain, marketing, and further enforce sexual objectification of men and mostly women, making it transactional relationships. It specifically becomes problamatic if governments are too traditional and conservative in implementing policies against porn, as the more you prohibitbor strongly regulate, the more the black markets interests increases.

 

[oldhandle]

Am I missing something, why did you quote your own posts that you already said?

[Starlight321]

@oldhandle

22 hours ago, oldhandle said:

Do you think it's innate that some people just get bigger dopamine rushes with sexuality and therefore have more likelihood toward getting addicted? What causes such variance?

There is no linear amswer. It has many causes and I don't want to put into your mind a limiting believe which you might unconsciously take as excuse not take action. Even if genetic and how you acted before played a role I think that the huge majority is able to handle it and learn to use it responsibly. 

If you're always horny  try to not give in every time and only every day and *consciously* divert your attention somewhere else. That will feel empowering.

 

[oldhandle]

52 minutes ago, Starlight321 said:

@oldhandle

There is no linear amswer. It has many causes and I don't want to put into your mind a limiting believe which you might unconsciously take as excuse not take action. Even if genetic and how you acted before played a role I think that the huge majority is able to handle it and learn to use it responsibly. 

If you're always horny  try to not give in every time and only every day and *consciously* divert your attention somewhere else. That will feel empowering.

 

What techniques do you use to divert your attention elsewhere?

[Salvijus]

You transform sexual energy the same way you would transform anger for example.

Suppose something triggered you and you're boiling with anger. Anger is restless energy just like lust is a restless energy. So what do you do with this anger. You can’t ignore it. You can’t divert your attention elsewhere. You can’t keep it inside forever, it will make u mad.

You can... release it. On someone. Vent it out or smth.

or you can sit with it with total awareness. Abide with it. Allow it to overtake you, and you will see awareness will transform anger into wholesomeness and peace IF you allow enough space for it to work itself out and transform itself, which is not easy actually.

So this is the basic lesson in transmutation. 

Thank you, no need for flowers.

Edited September 6, 2023 by Salvijus

[Danioover9000]

@oldhandle

17 hours ago, oldhandle said:

Am I missing something, why did you quote your own posts that you already said?

   Because what I have said is important and effects millions of lives.

   Take one example, did you know that the most common pain to experience from Nofap, is not blue balls from edging or peeking, but from having too much seminal fluids, pre cum, cloudy and white chunks of sperm? Which is why it's so common when 'relapsing' that the person needs 1-2 more times to 'clear the pipes' out? So, if you miss that principle of taking 100% responsibility for your sexuality, what do you do? Watch porn materials and fap to them, but if you take more responsibility for your urges, and realize that you can imagine and have sexual fantasies, you instead fap to your imaginations.

[Danioover9000]

@Salvijus

5 hours ago, Salvijus said:

You transform sexual energy the same way you would transform anger for example.

Suppose something triggered you and you're boiling with anger. Anger is restless energy just like lust is a restless energy. So what do you do with this anger. You can’t ignore it. You can’t divert your attention elsewhere. You can’t keep it inside forever, it will make u mad.

You can... release it. On someone. Vent it out or smth.

or you can sit with it with total awareness. Abide with it. Allow it to overtake you, and you will see awareness will transform anger into wholesomeness and peace IF you allow enough space for it to work itself out and transform itself, which is not easy actually.

So this is the basic lesson in transmutation. 

Thank you, no need for flowers.

   The main problem with this, is what if that source of anger is physical discomfort, like blue balls or too much seminal fluid built up?

   And partly yes, it's possible to just meditate and endure the hours of painful discomforts and the feeling subsides, but that depends on the timing of the blue balls, can't imagine a young guy that has blue balls early morning -morning or noon is going to endure that discomfort and will instead masturbate.

[Salvijus]

@Danioover9000 

1 hour ago, Danioover9000 said:

And partly yes, it's possible to just meditate and endure the hours of painful discomforts and the feeling subsides

No no. I'm talking about the energy of restless need to release sexual energy. That energy can be transformed like anger or any other negative emotion with awareness.

Blue balls are a different subject. I've gone more then a year once on semen retention without any of the discomforts that you've mentioned. You just have to rid your diet of toxins and these things won't happen. (Know from experience)

Edited September 6, 2023 by Salvijus

[Danioover9000]

@Salvijus

11 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

@Danioover9000 

No no. I'm talking about the energy of restless need to release sexual energy. That energy can be transformed like anger or any other negative emotion with awareness.

Blue balls are a different subject. I've gone more then a year once on semen retention without any of the discomforts that you've mentioned. You just have to rid your diet of toxins and these things won't happen. (Know from experience)

??

[Salvijus]

3 minutes ago, Danioover9000 said:

@Salvijus

??

No im telling the truth

[strika]

1 hour ago, Salvijus said:

No im telling the truth

 I can vouch for the same thing, never got blue balls or any kind of physical discomfort on Brahmacharya.

I think that people who talk about how you will get blue balls either never actually tried Brahmacharya/semen retention or if they have they did it while edging at the same time (sexual fantasizing, looking at Instagram/TikTok to get some dopamine hits from pics and videos, checking out women in public, flirting, etc.)