Been trying to quit porn/do NoFap for a long time, in these circles, they recommend..

[oldhandle]

They recommend going 90 days without sexuality so that you can reboot your brain, and not as easily fall back into sexual compulsion. It makes sense from a dopamine perspective. 

However, I am tired of failing, if I have a one night stand before I get to 90 days, great, I didn't jerk off or use porn, but I typically end up faltering and doing that a few days after as the "chaser effect" ends up happening and I crave sexuality.

So now I've started dating a girl, and I don't want to wait 90 days to have sex with her, I mean, she just got me off an hour ago at my house (not sex but use your imagination how she did it). My thinking though, is if I actually DATE a girl, I can get rid of porn/nofap this way - my approach was wrong before because I would have one night stands, and then, when the sex wasnt available again, I'd falter and use porn/fap. But if I actually date someone, consistently, which I know, weirdly, is a kind of new concept for me, then I think I can put this type of sexuality that I don't want to do anymore (porn and one player sex) away for good. 

I am asking here specifically because it's not a nofap/quitting porn forum, so I'm sure people will criticize the nofap ideas, but I want multiple perspectives. Thanks!

[Osaid]

Last time I checked, it's just bro science extrapolated from some study about how long it takes to quit heroin or something. No such reboot occurs on the 90th day, or the 89th day, or the 91st day, but I have seen many people get obsessed over this specific number as if it has some significance.
 

[oldhandle]

If you're trying to put away porn usage for life and still slipping up sometimes, what would you recommend then?

[D2sage]

I tried it for one year back in 2017 to 2018.

Since then I can't watch porn. Porn will look silly if you abstain for a year or two.

Try it and avoid talking to people about it because most don't want to quit their free abnormal source of AI dopamine.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/<<--- check this out

You will feel much better and your sexual performance will skyrocket.

90 Days is rookie numbers. You must go for a year or two at least. Then you will earn a master degree in TrustMeBrology.

You can still have sex if you are afraid that you wont get another girl in the future. But just keep your hands in your pockets and watch your porn cravings fade away.

Edited September 1, 2023 by D2sage

[oldhandle]

Thank you, but why do you mean avoid talking about it? Most people recommend having a community of like-minded people who are trying to quit. 

[D2sage]

@oldhandle Yes, but not on this forum. Find a place where people are doing it. 

Here,  you will be bombarded with the "bro science" coping mechanism. And it can put you off. 

[Phil King]

Just now, oldhandle said:

why do you mean avoid talking about it?

This nofap community stuff is so dumb. Youre focusing your entire mind on not breaking a streak, counting the days and stuff. What if I had a "dont think of a purple elephant for 90 days" streak. Paradoxically The more you focus on keeping a streak going, the more likely youll break it. Instead of counting the days, just slowly ween yourself off.

 

16 hours ago, oldhandle said:

So now I've started dating a girl, and I don't want to wait 90 days to have sex with her

Also stop counting having sex with a girl as breaking a streak. 

[D2sage]

True. Don't count the days, make the day count. Learn a new skill or read good books. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by D2sage

[Osaid]

3 hours ago, oldhandle said:

If you're trying to put away porn usage for life and still slipping up sometimes, what would you recommend then?

First I would ask: Why are you doing this and what do you think it will actually solve? When you go 10 days, 20 days, 30 days, 50 days, is anything improving? Does the improvement peak at a certain point?

Second: You have a biological bias for being horny, so do not suppress this. But, it is possible to avoid porn for most of your life, if you want. Just replace it with something else you can masturbate to, like your imagination or something. It's entirely possible to masturbate without porn. I actually don't think no-fap is conducive for quitting porn, because it will make you extremely horny and more attracted to porn. So I don't understand the method behind the madness here to be honest. You're putting your horniness on a pedestal by cultivating it for so long.

Above all else, just see how it affects you personally. Anything you hear from other people is just rumours without direct experience. This stuff can affect different people very differently. Really, objectively look and see: Is no-fap genuinely helping me quit porn addiction? Is it making it harder? How have I improved since starting?

Just a personal caveat, please do not fall into the trap of edging yourself all the time because of the horniness that ensues. This can lead to prostate problems and the like. Just do it at that point.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Osaid

[Leo Gura]

That's cause no-fap is stupid.

Edited September 2, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Chives99]

porn is a great stress reliever , better than cigarettes or alcohol, just have some hobbies so you are not  stuck in your room 24/7

[oldhandle]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's cause no-fap is stupid.

Why do you think that?

[Salvijus]

Being a fapper is even more stupid

Edited September 2, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

Repressing your sexual energy is not smart. 

Being a hopeless fapper is even worse.

Organizing your energies and rising them upwards to integrate and intetnalize all energy for your growth and expansion. Now that's wisdom. 

Edited September 2, 2023 by Salvijus

[oldhandle]

I've noticed Leo say some stuff that seems pro-porn, which I just am not, but can't agree with everyone on everything. I just wondered his reasoning. 

[Yimpa]

If you’re doing PMO excessively due to insecurities you have about yourself that you’ve been avoiding, then that’s something you need to start addressing honestly. 

On 9/1/2023 at 1:48 PM, Osaid said:

Really, objectively look and see: Is no-fap genuinely helping me quit porn addiction? Is it making it harder? How have I improved since starting?

Lol

[Vido]

14 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

That's cause no-fap is stupid.

You might not believe it but I get acne by flapping which sucks

[Osaid]

44 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

Lol

Nice

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, oldhandle said:

Why do you think that?

Because it's natural for a young man to jerk off. That's what the body is designed for. There is no need to resist nor demonize it.

Edited September 2, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Hardkill]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Because it's natural for a young man to jerk off. That's what the body is designed for. There is no need to resist nor demonize it.

Jerking off has actually been causing my hip muscles to get overly tight since about a few years ago.