Need Help Getting Over Ex-Girlfriend

[Princess Arabia]

20 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Going to the gym has helped me realize that while we did have great memories and times together, she is not my ideal partner. She is not existentially nor psychologically grounded. My thing now is learning how to find a partner who has a love for philosophy and psychology.

Throw out all memories of her. Energetically make space for a new partner to come in. Don't think positive or negative things about her but understanding it was just an experience. The next partner you have, and if you were to ever break up, you will say the same thing that she wasn't your ideal partner, so that's irrelevant for you to even think about. There's no such thing as an ideal partner, they are just there whatever that feels like for you at the moment and every moment from there until you either die or break up. 

I like what @Noahsteelers34had to say. Sound advice from him. Most importantly don't hold any grudges about her because you will take them as truths going forward which will influence your future decision-making in this area. If anything, take them as lessons and view them neutrally and without attaching her face to them, just general relationship or life lessons. 

I really do think you will find someone soon that will enhance your life experience. Keep going but don't look too hard. Make it more energetic and more mental (visualizing) while taking inspired action when it feels right to you to do so.

[r0ckyreed]

Thanks!  

I am feeling better because I am slowly realizing and gaining insights that I really do deserve more. We only met at most twice a week. That is bullshit. We also never had sex the whole 9 months, and she told me it was because of my position on having children or not. I am moving on, and I am feeling better because she never really opened up her world to me in the way I deserved. Not once did I get to drive her because she was traumatized by a wreck she was in a few months earlier. Not once did she invite me over to her house to see her bedroom. I know I deserve more. She did teach me how to juggle and little bit of dancing too. That was all good, but she was not going to intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually give me what I want out of life. She did give me physical intimacy but nothing else. She just was not mature and developed enough. I am feeling much better.

I remember our first date, I asked her if she would take the red pill or blue pill and she picked blue pill. I was still open to building a connection with her though and went with it. But there were other signs that she lacked self-love for herself, and I just don't need that. Long-term, it wouldn't have worked out. I will take this as a test drive and a lesson of what to look for going forward. 

The benefit I take away from all of this is that this recent experience has helped me wake up earlier. One of my goals was to wake up at 5am to go the gym, and I have been able to do that this week.

[The Redeemer]

4 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

You have multiple personalities. After reading your response, I looked at who wrote it and my eyes popped open when I saw your name. This is clearly a different side of you than the usual ranting and complaining and constant negativity. I see this a lot on here too but not as obvious as with you. Interesting.

I've told you several times I have multiple personalities 

[SeaMonster]

 

5 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

We also never had sex the whole 9 months, and she told me it was because of my position on having children or not.

So you didn't have a girlfriend, you had a girl who was a friend, and a particularly dishonest one at that.

All you lost was 9 mos., nothing else and gained a valuable lesson, so on the whole it's a wash.

Edited September 1, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

I've told you several times I have multiple personalities 

Ever seen the movie The Three Faces of Eve. She had multiple personalities. Good movie. Kinda old though. I'll try to be a little more patient and lenient with you, then, as I see it's not your fault, and only when you're responding to me, cause it's not my business how you respond to others.

[Javfly33]

Heal the asperguer stuff before focusing on anything else. 

[The Redeemer]

8 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

Ever seen the movie The Three Faces of Eve. She had multiple personalities. Good movie. Kinda old though. I'll try to be a little more patient and lenient with you, then, as I see it's not your fault, and only when you're responding to me, cause it's not my business how you respond to others.

I have seen it. Honestly I believe that having different sides of myself allows me to understand reality from multiple perspectives. It definitely confuses a lot of people though.

[Breakingthewall]

When you are attached to someone, it seems impossible to do without that person. but you will get it, especially because it is not up to you to return. Overcoming that attachment will make you a freer and stronger man, in the next relationship you will know that you can cut off and stay alive. this is essential. Many people remain tied for their entire lives because they cannot face a breakup, and this is dramatic.

[r0ckyreed]

10 hours ago, SeaMonster said:

 

So you didn't have a girlfriend, you had a girl who was a friend, and a particularly dishonest one at that.

All you lost was 9 mos., nothing else and gained a valuable lesson, so on the whole it's a wash.

We were romantic partners. I mean we had oral sex, made out, and were intimate. But we didn’t do vaginal nor anal sex.