Benevloent emasculation

[NoSelfSelf]

Wrote this early today in my notes maybe it helps someone

Ps. Its written badly but i write fast when i get the insight ?

Fear of being a completely your own individual..

The fear comes that you actually cut the ambilical cord to the world where you no longer look to be loved by anyone to be understood to be part of something to care about peoples thinking emotions..

It makes you stop that toxic relationship with the world where you benfit from it by not taking ownership for yourself to then dont get love but to give yourself love to dont get feel good moments from others but to be your own feel good moment,the good one is :being afraid to be alone to be abandond left with yourself,world is your crutch and your backstabbing friend...(because you benefit from it and to go away from responsibility of self)

Edited August 25, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Sugarcoat]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

How has telling men to 'man up' been working, huh?! 

It doesn’t work because it’s a deeper problem than something that can be solved from outside trying to help see what I’m saying ?

[mr_engineer]

@Lila9 and other women, if you're watching, this is the shit we deal with in 'men's spaces'. 

A lot of women say that 'men should have their own safe-spaces'. They don't exist. Men will choose to do the emotionally harmful thing to each other, knowing full well that it doesn't work. 

This is why women are needed to raise more awareness on this front. If you need 'empowerment', this is the most empowering thing you could do for yourself. If women do this, they will have a more empowered role in the world that's more stable and solid. 

Edited August 25, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Schizophonia]

It's not a question of masculinity, simply of "maturity".
It's okay to have pain and even expose it to ask for help, what's wrong is whining, ruminating, and basically using your problem as a way to get attention, to enjoy being a victim...

It's the same for women.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Schizophonia

[Lila9]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

@Lila9 and other women, if you're watching, this is the shit we deal with in 'men's spaces'. 

A lot of women say that 'men should have their own safe-spaces'. They don't exist. Men will choose to do the emotionally harmful thing to each other, knowing full well that it doesn't work. 

This is why women are needed to raise more awareness on this front. If you need 'empowerment', this is the most empowering thing you could do for yourself. If women do this, they will have a more empowered role in the world that's more stable and solid. 

Many women across the world are holding an emotionally safe space for their parents, brothers, sons because this is how they were socialized.

Not only that it's invisible for men and not collectively appreciated, it's also a very draining labor. 

Women are expected to earn money like men and come home and be the emotional sponges of their surroundings.

This creates unecessary dependency on women. Women can't do all the things.

At this point men should also take responsibility and learn how to nourish themselves by accepting and connecting to their feminine side, they should own it and be brave enough to encourage other men to do that too. 

They should break the shame around vulnerability in men. This is men's job to break this stigma because men are those who hold this stigma. 

Also, women have bigger problems to solve rather than solving problems for men who created problems for themselves. 

 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Lila9

[mr_engineer]

40 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Many women across the world are holding an emotionally safe space for their parents, brothers, sons because this is how they were socialized.

Not only that it's invisible for men and not collectively appreciated, it's also a very draining labor. 

I appreciate it. And, if it's 'draining', it's cuz you personally don't want to do it. There are women out there who would like to do it and I'd encourage them to. 

40 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Women are expected to earn money like men and come home and be the emotional sponges of their surroundings.

So, what would you like to do? Would you rather do what society expects you to do, or would you rather get in touch with your true nature and live a more authentic life? 

40 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

This creates unecessary dependency on women. Women can't do all the things.

Oh, it's very necessary, believe me. 

How else do you want men to depend on women?! Do you want to cook and clean for men? Or, do you want to work a shitty corporate job for male bosses and call that 'empowerment'?! This is a much better way to be empowered. 

40 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

At this point men should also take responsibility and learn how to nourish themselves by accepting and connecting to their feminine side, they should own it and be brave enough to encourage other men to do that too. 

They should break the shame around vulnerability in men. This is men's job to break this stigma because men are those who hold this stigma. 

Well, I'm trying to break this stigma and it's not happening. With women's help, though, it could happen. 

40 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Also, women have bigger problems to solve rather than solving problems for men who created problems for themselves. 

No, you don't. If men don't figure out good ways to deal with this situation, that's how wars start. So, if women can do something about this, it's probably the most important thing they could do for the world. 

Edited August 25, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

They should break the shame around vulnerability in men. This is men's job to break this stigma because men are those who hold this stigma. 

Actually that’s not true, studies find men are more comfortable opening up to other men than women, most shaming language towards men opening up is used by women, such as “mansplaining”, “fragile masculinity” etc.

Women have pushed for all male spaces to be dismantled, there used to be male only clubs, groups, etc. all of which were declared sexist, even the Boy Scouts was required to let girls in due to feminist activists. Men can’t really solve the problem because many women will insert themselves into it and demand the resources be given to them.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Raze

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Women are expected to earn money like men and come home and be the emotional sponges of their surroundings.

Personally I don’t believe this is the case either. Women have far more resources to earn less, ex. is more normalized for them to marry a wealthier man and stay at home. Men on the other hand are more likely to have to work to survive, which is why when they fail the consequences can be more dire such as how we have more homeless men than women. Also, women receive more in government aid to help in tough times.

In personal relationships usually men are actually too closed off and distant and many women complain they pull away into their man cave and don’t open up, that’s not requiring women to do emotional labor. On the other hand women are much more likely to want a man who will listen to her vent about her problems and comfort her emotionally to relieve her stress.

[Lila9]

17 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I appreciate it. And, if it's 'draining', it's cuz you personally don't want to do it. There are women out there who would like to do it and I'd encourage them to. 

There is more to woman's life than being a grown man's emotional sponge. Women want to actualize themselves and fulfill their dreams more than spending their lives on doing something that men can do for themselves. I don't say that women shouldn't hold an emotionally safe space for men at all, I say that men should take more responsibility and be more considerable of women and themselves by learning how to nurture themselves as well. 

26 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

So, what would you like to do? Would you rather do what society expects you to do, or would you rather get in touch with your true nature and live a more authentic life? 

Living according to my nature and authentic desires which is to endlessly create, love and protect those who cannot protect themselves- animals and children.

27 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Oh, it's very necessary, believe me. 

How else do you want men to depend on women?! Do you want to cook and clean for men? Or, do you want to work a shitty corporate job for male bosses and call that 'empowerment'?! This is a much better way to be empowered. 

I personally choose neither and same for most gen z and millennials.

You are allowed to receive emotional support from the women who love you or care about you, but it's not their duty or job. As it's not your duty or job to financially support a grown woman who can get a job. 

Women are individuals, like you, and naturally they won't be always available to you because they have their shit to handle too, so you have to learn how to take care and nourish yourself when there is nobody around you. If you are too dependent on them to be always emotionally supportive of you, you lose you power, you will greatly suffer when they are not around.

 

38 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Well, I'm trying to break this stigma and it's not happening. With women's help, though, it could happen. 

What have you done to break this stigma? 

Also, in all of the developed countries there are stage green men circles like that. It's not like it's highly popular but it exists. I personally hear more and more talk about this.

Mothers in this generation can raise more emotionally wise men who know how to emotionally support themselves and how to seek support from others, but it's not the responsibility of all the women to resolve this for men, even if they really want to. Men tend not to listen to women but to other men, I can rumble on and off about the importance of self nourishment but you are more likely to categorize it as feminine, which means "weak' in your mind and you would prefer listening to some highly masculine men instead, even if he provides you a bad resulotion that won't improve your life. Men usually are biased in favor of other men opinions and biased against women opinions.

59 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

No, you don't. If men don't figure out good ways to deal with this situation, that's how wars start. So, if women can do something about this, it's probably the most important thing they could do for the world. 

Again, men give more authority to other men than women. Even if women really want to, men wouldn't listen.

Women have problems, you are just too ignorant and selfish to acknowledge it. You probably think that you are the most misrable creature in the world.

 

[Lila9]

36 minutes ago, Raze said:

Actually that’s not true, studies find men are more comfortable opening up to other men than women, most shaming language towards men opening up is used by women, such as “mansplaining”, “fragile masculinity” etc.

Women have pushed for all male spaces to be dismantled, there used to be male only clubs, groups, etc. all of which were declared sexist, even the Boy Scouts was required to let girls in due to feminist activists. Men can’t really solve the problem because many women will insert themselves into it and demand the resources be given to them.

If a small group of men has a close club where they hold power and resources while other women suffer from poverty and a low income regardless of how hard they work, due to a policy led by this small privileged male group, then of course you should expect feminists to be mad. 

Men can solve their problems and women won't interfere if it's done without hurting women.

Most boys clubs are misogynist, toxic and privileged. They don't care about authentic improvement or healthy relationships with women.

[Lila9]

41 minutes ago, Raze said:

Personally I don’t believe this is the case either. Women have far more resources to earn less, ex. is more normalized for them to marry a wealthier man and stay at home. Men on the other hand are more likely to have to work to survive, which is why when they fail the consequences can be more dire such as how we have more homeless men than women. Also, women receive more in government aid to help in tough times.

In personal relationships usually men are actually too closed off and distant and many women complain they pull away into their man cave and don’t open up, that’s not requiring women to do emotional labor. On the other hand women are much more likely to want a man who will listen to her vent about her problems and comfort her emotionally to relieve her stress.

Men are richer than women but not because they work more. Women work hard and actually, in the modern life with inflation increasing and everything being much more expensive than in the past, women have to work to sustain themselves, there is no choice.

There are not enough wealthy men for all the women, majority of people are not wealthy so most women who are married or in relationship are working like their partner if not more because women are still expected to do all the house chores and raising the kids.

Women may receive a government aid when pregnant, but it's legitimately. I don't know how it's in other countries, I'm talking from my life experience, I live in a very workaholic country where women work very hard and are looked down if they don't work. I worked most of my life since a very young age and so most women I know. 

There are more homeless men than women because men don't know how to seek help when they struggle with mental illness or that they don't know how to take care of themselves when there is suddenly no women in their lives, that's why I say that it's important for men to connect to their feminine side. 

Because many men are so closed off, the emotional labor falls on women is even greater, it's very emotionally draining to live with men who don't communicate their emotions properly, it puts the women in an uncomfortable place where she has to figure out what they feel and how to act in a way that would support them and not offend them. 

 

[Raze]

4 hours ago, Lila9 said:

If a small group of men has a close club where they hold power and resources while other women suffer from poverty and a low income regardless of how hard they work, due to a policy led by this small privileged male group, then of course you should expect feminists to be mad. 

Men can solve their problems and women won't interfere if it's done without hurting women.

Most boys clubs are misogynist, toxic and privileged. They don't care about authentic improvement or healthy relationships with women.

I’m not talking about powerful men, that’s too small a minority to judge mental health. I mean things as simple as mens only barbershops, mens groups, mens clubs, Boy Scouts, etc. all used to be around. 

Thats exactly the argument used to end them, women declared them toxic and privileged and had them deconstructed, then turned around and blamed men for not getting together and talking about the issues. But whenever they tried too, it’s toxic and has to include women and then change the culture and rules to make the women more comfortable etc.

Quote

Men are richer than women but not because they work more. Women work hard and actually, in the modern life with inflation increasing and everything being much more expensive than in the past, women have to work to sustain themselves, there is no choice.

There are not enough wealthy men for all the women, majority of people are not wealthy so most women who are married or in relationship are working like their partner if not more because women are still expected to do all the house chores and raising the kids.

I know most women have to work, but I’m saying in general they are more likely to have the option of marrying a guy wealthier than them to take care of most of the financial burden. It’s rarer for a man to marry a woman who earns more than him.

The main reason men are wealthier is because they work more, men work on average more hours than women and tend to take less vacation time and choose higher paying fields.

Quote

There are more homeless men than women because men don't know how to seek help when they struggle with mental illness or that they don't know how to take care of themselves when there is suddenly no women in their lives, that's why I say that it's important for men to connect to their feminine side.

While men might be less likely to seek help that’s not the main reason for issues such as this. For example most homeless people actually do seek government aid and over 90% of men who committed suicide did try to seek help at least once beforehand. The main reason there are less homeless women is women are less likely to have alcoholism or drug addiction and there are women have an easier time finding a guy to move in with if they have financial troubles. 

Polling data finds men who identify as more traditionally masculine (and thus less feminine) are actually more likely to be wealthy and less likely to be depressed, so connecting with their feminine side probably won’t help with this specific issue.

 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Raze

[mr_engineer]

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

There is more to woman's life than being a grown man's emotional sponge. Women want to actualize themselves and fulfill their dreams more than spending their lives on doing something that men can do for themselves. I don't say that women shouldn't hold an emotionally safe space for men at all, I say that men should take more responsibility and be more considerable of women and themselves by learning how to nurture themselves as well. 

How will men learn if women don't teach them? 

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Women are individuals, like you, and naturally they won't be always available to you because they have their shit to handle too, so you have to learn how to take care and nourish yourself when there is nobody around you. If you are too dependent on them to be always emotionally supportive of you, you lose you power, you will greatly suffer when they are not around.

 

Well, once women teach men how to, men can emotionally support them too, so women don't have to handle their shit on their own. *Mind blown*

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

You are allowed to receive emotional support from the women who love you or care about you, but it's not their duty or job. As it's not your duty or job to financially support a grown woman who can get a job. 

Correction - From women who choose to be loving and caring human beings. 

Just because you can't do it, doesn't mean that there aren't other women who can. I've met some really lovely women and they've basically used this ability to create a whole support-system for themselves, they're not ultra-overwhelmed. 

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

What have you done to break this stigma? 

I started this thread. And look at how it's gone! 

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Mothers in this generation can raise more emotionally wise men who know how to emotionally support themselves and how to seek support from others, but it's not the responsibility of all the women to resolve this for men, even if they really want to. Men tend not to listen to women but to other men, I can rumble on and off about the importance of self nourishment but you are more likely to categorize it as feminine, which means "weak' in your mind and you would prefer listening to some highly masculine men instead, even if he provides you a bad resulotion that won't improve your life. Men usually are biased in favor of other men opinions and biased against women opinions.

The 'self-nourishment' thing is a cope for being passive about this situation in which you can help but choose not to. It's victim-blaming. 

It's like a man telling a woman who is a rape-victim - 'Why didn't you defend yourself?! Do you know how empowering it is to not need men to protect you?!' 

Women need to be held more accountable for passivity on this front. Don't just sit there giving us a lecture on 'self-nourishment', actually do something about this. If your countries don't go to war with each other, if the world becomes a more peaceful place because of this, only you'll benefit. You fully deserve the consequences of your decision to do this or not. 

6 hours ago, Lila9 said:

Women have problems, you are just too ignorant and selfish to acknowledge it. You probably think that you are the most misrable creature in the world.

Yeah, it's just that when we ask women what they want, they never talk about their problems and what men can do about it. And then, they blame men for it, calling them 'ignorant and selfish'. All of this is a cope! 

Edited August 26, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

@mr_engineer you live in victimhood. Most of your posts begin with absolutely zero self reflection or self awareness. When someone tries to say something to you, you end up with back and forth argument with them in an endless loop and assume that everyone here is trying to subjugate you. Most are just trying to help you. Regarding your concern, if a man is told to man up, that's not a bad thing at all. I'm estimating that 17 is the time where most men want to leave boyhood and slowly enter manhood and adulthood and this is the transition where they don't want to feel like a baby being told what to do. There's a rebellious need to push that away and be able to handle problems independently. In fact the opposite is true.

What you're trying to do in this thread is an example of emasculation. You are trying to make men look weak and incapable and expecting them to keep bickering about their problems. This reason being why men admire Andrew Tate and the likes. They want the opposite of what you're looking for. You're expecting to be spoon-fed and Molly coddled. 

Coddling you is not letting you take personal responsibility for your issues. You stated in some of your posts that your problems are deeper and so they should be shown compassion to. But compassion doesn't solve problems. What you're looking for is validation for your state of misery. If your problems are deep, then they should be solved by counseling and therapy. That's where you get validation and comfort and assistance too. Not in public. You can't expect the entire world to cry with you. Seek therapy for your problems. That's called problem solving rather than just sitting with the problems and endlessly whining about it till eternity expecting compassion. Maybe you'll find some compassion with a female but that won't solve your problems because they go deeper than just having some compassion sprinkled on it. In fact it will further delay the resolution process. It will be a disservice to you.

Your ego simply cannot bear that society is not designed to your expectations. The job of the masculine is not to molly coddle you. So don't expect other men to just keep patting you meanwhile you don't show any progress with your problems. You have problems that need addressal in therapy. Masculine wants to set a precedent and an order and wants to move on to higher goals. You don't seem to want that. In fact even your own dad will tell you to man up because he doesn't want to find his son just struggling and not doing much about it. Most masculine gurus will give you the tough love treatment. And it's not unhealthy, neither it is  ignoring your problems. You're simply looking for someone to be your emotional sponge that soaks up all your issues. Most people will be willing to do that to a certain point, post which they will be tired of constantly coddling you and will tell you to move on. Most people can't live by your code or level of timidity. They don't have time to babysit you, that's why therapy. You have two options - either you choose to keep complaining till the point of validation and even after that. Or you build yourself from scratch and actually get to be doing something productive about it. 

 

[mr_engineer]

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

you live in victimhood. Most of your posts begin with absolutely zero self reflection or self awareness. When someone tries to say something to you, you end up with back and forth argument with them in an endless loop and assume that everyone here is trying to subjugate you. Most are just trying to help you.

Benevolent emasculation. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Regarding your concern, if a man is told to man up, that's not a bad thing at all. I'm estimating that 17 is the time where most men want to leave boyhood and slowly enter manhood and adulthood and this is the transition where they don't want to feel like a baby being told what to do. There's a rebellious need to push that away and be able to handle problems independently. In fact the opposite is true.

You say one thing is true and then you say that the opposite is true. Paradox or strange-loop?! 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

What you're trying to do in this thread is an example of emasculation. You are trying to make men look weak and incapable and expecting them to keep bickering about their problems. This reason being why men admire Andrew Tate and the likes. They want the opposite of what you're looking for. You're expecting to be spoon-fed and Molly coddled. 

Benevolent emasculation. This idea that 'talking about what you're struggling with and seeking out help is weakness and incapability, you're supposed to tough it out alone'. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Coddling you is not letting you take personal responsibility for your issues. You stated in some of your posts that your problems are deeper and so they should be shown compassion to. But compassion doesn't solve problems.

Oh, it prevents wars. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

What you're looking for is validation for your state of misery. If your problems are deep, then they should be solved by counseling and therapy. That's where you get validation and comfort and assistance too. Not in public. You can't expect the entire world to cry with you. Seek therapy for your problems. That's called problem solving rather than just sitting with the problems and endlessly whining about it till eternity expecting compassion. 

Benevolent emasculation. 'Talking about your problems necessarily means that you're not doing anything and you're not taking action, you're weak and pathetic and blah blah blah'. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Maybe you'll find some compassion with a female but that won't solve your problems because they go deeper than just having some compassion sprinkled on it. In fact it will further delay the resolution process. It will be a disservice to you.

Having a compassionate woman is not a means to an end. It is the end. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Your ego simply cannot bear that society is not designed to your expectations. The job of the masculine is not to molly coddle you. So don't expect other men to just keep patting you meanwhile you don't show any progress with your problems. You have problems that need addressal in therapy. Masculine wants to set a precedent and an order and wants to move on to higher goals. You don't seem to want that. In fact even your own dad will tell you to man up because he doesn't want to find his son just struggling and not doing much about it. Most masculine gurus will give you the tough love treatment. And it's not unhealthy, neither it is  ignoring your problems.

There is no higher goal than having people just be nice to each other and get along with each other. Nothing else matters. 

42 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You're simply looking for someone to be your emotional sponge that soaks up all your issues. Most people will be willing to do that to a certain point, post which they will be tired of constantly coddling you and will tell you to move on. Most people can't live by your code or level of timidity. They don't have time to babysit you, that's why therapy. You have two options - either you choose to keep complaining till the point of validation and even after that. Or you build yourself from scratch and actually get to be doing something productive about it. 

Benevolent emasculation. 'Men don't have emotions, if you express how you feel, you're expecting people to babysit you and you're not doing anything productive, you're a worthless sack of shit'. 

I don't care about what you think works. I care about what's actually needed. So, either be of help, or go away. We don't need any more lectures from 'strong men' about 'how much you have to man up'. 

Edited August 26, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Benevolent emasculation. 

Can I kindly say that you're the one who is emasculating himself. If anything, most people are trying to trigger your masculine energy to show you that you need to wake up and take responsibility. The irony. 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

You say one thing is true and then you say that the opposite is true. Paradox or strange-loop?! 

Benevolent emasculation. This idea that 'talking about what you're struggling with and seeking out help is weakness and incapability, you're supposed to tough it out alone'. 

You aren't seeking help. You're seeking validation for your neurosis. If you struggle with something for more than a few weeks, it's time to see a therapist. All you're doing is whining on a forum week after week. What are you achieving throwing your problems at strangers? What action have you taken? 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Oh, it prevents wars. 

What kind of help are you looking for? 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Benevolent emasculation. 'Talking about your problems necessarily means that you're not doing anything and you're not taking action, you're weak and pathetic and blah blah blah'. 

Like I said earlier, talking about your problems seems legit. But there's a time period after which you have to fix those problems than just keep rambling about it. It's not the talking that makes you weak. It's the non stop rambling and looking for pity. You're using people as a crutch. And most people will support you but to what extent? Once you make it a regular habit to seek support, most people will see it as a form of inaction. Inaction indicates weakness, unreliability, irresponsibility and not wanting to outgrow your problems. Just stuck in a rut. It can be tiring for others to keep serving as your sponge or online therapist lol. 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Having a compassionate woman is not a means to an end. It is the end. 

Her compassion won't solve your weaknesses. How will you support her if you can't do that for yourself? She is not gonna be your mommy. She will find it repulsive if you keep running to her with your problems. Even your parents won't put up with it for too long. You suffer a mental pattern where you constantly want to be sympathized or stroked, probably your trauma, I have no clue, but you have to it solve it on your own, sympathy from strangers or even a compassionate partner can only last for some time, it's selfish to keep expecting more since it drains them to keep attending to your needs. Simply impossible in a practical context. You're having grand delusions that someone will always act like a hands-on therapist for you. Well, real life will be a rude awakening then.

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

There is no higher goal than having people just be nice to each other and get along with each other. Nothing else matters. 

People have stuff to do than just be nice to each other. You take everything for granted. 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

Benevolent emasculation. 'Men don't have emotions, if you express how you feel, you're expecting people to babysit you and you're not doing anything productive, you're a worthless sack of shit'. 

Now you're playing the game of hypothesis. Nobody said that you're worthless. You make shit up. Nobody said you shouldn't have emotions either. But if emotions is all you got, then you don't have much to offer, nobody would want to stick around that for too long, it's incredibly draining, immature and most people will hop out. There's a shit load of problems to deal with than just sulking in a corner about emotions. 

28 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

I don't care about what you think works. I care about what's actually needed. So, either be of help, or go away. We don't need any more lectures from 'strong men' about 'how much you have to man up'. 

You can't post on a public forum and expect people to go away. They're going to respond to what they see. I thought you complained about emasculation. And now you seem to be having a problem with "strong men." I hate to break it to you, but strong men aren't emasculated, something I expect you to be looking up to, especially when you don't want to be emasculated, it's quite twisted and ironic. 

Your problem is you have very low self esteem. You cannot handle a strong position. Your low self esteem doesn't let you be empowering in a situation so you relegate yourself to victimhood to justify inaction. Fix your low self esteem instead of blaming others. 

[mr_engineer]

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Can I kindly say that you're the one who is emasculating himself. If anything, most people are trying to trigger your masculine energy to show you that you need to wake up and take responsibility. The irony. 

Benevolent emasculation. Saying that 'you need to take responsibility', assumes that I'm not taking responsibility. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You aren't seeking help. You're seeking validation for your neurosis. If you struggle with something for more than a few weeks, it's time to see a therapist. All you're doing is whining on a forum week after week. What are you achieving throwing your problems at strangers? What action have you taken? 

Benevolent emasculation. What 'neurosis'?! I love how people just make up dysfunctionalities that you don't have. You're saying that I have issues that I don't have, then you're telling me that I'm not taking action to resolve them. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Her compassion won't solve your weaknesses. How will you support her if you can't do that for yourself? She is not gonna be your mommy. She will find it repulsive if you keep running to her with your problems. Even your parents won't put up with it for too long. You suffer a mental pattern where you constantly want to be sympathized or stroked, probably your trauma, I have no clue, but you have to it solve it on your own, sympathy from strangers or even a compassionate partner can only last for some time, it's selfish to keep expecting more since it drains them to keep attending to your needs. Simply impossible in a practical context. You're having grand delusions that someone will always act like a hands-on therapist for you. Well, real life will be a rude awakening then.

Benevolent emasculation. 'You're a weak man, you can't do shit'. 

The real immaturity is to play this dick-measuring contest in which when someone talks about what they're going through, you jump in there to show them how much bigger your dick is than theirs. Nobody cares how big your dick is, even though they're going to compliment you on it cuz it benefits them to. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

People have stuff to do than just be nice to each other. You take everything for granted. 

But, the problem we're talking about has the solution of compassionate understanding. If you're going to twist it around and try to be predatory and manipulate them to your ends, that's a you-problem. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Now you're playing the game of hypothesis. Nobody said that you're worthless. You make shit up. Nobody said you shouldn't have emotions either. But if emotions is all you got, then you don't have much to offer, nobody would want to stick around that for too long, it's incredibly draining, immature and most people will hop out. There's a shit load of problems to deal with than just sulking in a corner about emotions. 

How do you connect with your passion without connecting to your emotions?! Somehow, we see emotions as a negative thing. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

You can't post on a public forum and expect people to go away. They're going to respond to what they see. I thought you complained about emasculation. And now you seem to be having a problem with "strong men." I hate to break it to you, but strong men aren't emasculated, something I expect you to be looking up to, especially when you don't want to be emasculated, it's quite twisted and ironic. 

I put quotes, meaning, people who think they're 'strong men', when they're really coming here for validation as to how much stronger they are than you. This hyper-competitiveness needs to stop. 

18 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

Your problem is you have very low self esteem. You cannot handle a strong position. Your low self esteem doesn't let you be empowering in a situation so you relegate yourself to victimhood to justify inaction. Fix your low self esteem instead of blaming others. 

Projection. 

The best way to come across as a 'real man' is to police the 'real man' talk to others. I see through it, don't worry. 

Edited August 26, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Buck Edwards]

@mr_engineer keep going with your pointless game. Nobody can help you. Goodluck. 

[Ajax]

On 8/25/2023 at 0:09 PM, mr_engineer said:

I have noticed that when we talk about men's loneliness or emotional-starvation, there is a rhetoric especially from progressive spaces that 'you're acting like a little boy' or 'you need to man up'. 

I am coining a new term for this response. It's called 'benevloent emasculation'. 

Benevolent Emasculation - The act of gaslighting a man into believing that he's acting like a little boy when he expresses his very real problems. 

To all of you doing this behavior, here's my question - why do YOU assume that when a man talks about his problems, he's 'acting like a little boy'?! Where did that come from?! Why are YOU convincing men that they're less mature than they are?! Why are YOU conditioning men into believing that they're 'being little boys'?! 

Do real men not communicate?! Is that what this boils down to?! 

How about this... Quit being a victim. Use your mind to get the things you want and reduce the things that you don't through the power of your ideas. 

[mr_engineer]

4 hours ago, Ajax said:

How about this... Quit being a victim. Use your mind to get the things you want and reduce the things that you don't through the power of your ideas. 

Benevolent emasculation. 'Boo hoo, you're being a victim'. 

How about this - You quit assuming that people are being victims just because they're talking about something they're going through.