Hypersensitivity is NOT a gift

[kag101]

Let's talk about something that's often misunderstood – hypersensitivity. I’m tired of people labeling as "natural" or even worse: a “gift”.  Let me tell you, it's far from it.

Background

Being sensitive is natural and valuable. However, hypersensitivity is like living in a world with the volume turned up too high.

Lately, I've been feeling emotional hypersensitivity. It's as if everything impacts me way too deeply. Simple things that other might not even notice can affect me. 

When I’m in a crisis, I feel vulnerable and fragile. Thoughts of envy comes to mind. “Why can’t I be like everybody else?! Why do I need to feel everything so deeply?”

I've traced the roots of my hypersensitivity back to a messy divorce my parents went through during my childhood. I got the habit of becoming hypervigilant to check if everything was okay.

That period was like an atomic bomb, and the residual radioactive effects still linger in my psyche years later… 

Strategies

What Does NOT work

• Going brute force: “Screw this! Nothing’s gonna affect me anymore! I’ll be a fcking stoic!” 

That is an artificial and unsustainable solution.

• Pretending that it’s not a problem: “Oh… everything is fine. It’s just who I am and it's the world that is problematic and it should change, not me”. 

That's like wishing the world had zero things on the floor that can hurt my feet. Let's get real: should I really wait for the world to fix itself, or should I just grab some goddamned slippers?

What HAS worked

• Going to an excellent psychologist, and it's provided some relief. I do have some “relapses”, but they are getting more infrequent and easier to deal with.

• Having the awareness of this problem is half of the solution to it. Because at least I know what I'm dealing with. 

• Celebrating progress. Even though I'm not where I want to be, I've moved from a hypersensitivity level of 9 to a 5 over the past three years. 

Conclusion

The ideal is to find the sweet spot of honoring and protecting my natural sensibility; and yet gently pushing myself to gradually desensitize at times.

In essence, I want to live a life where I can engage with the world without feeling completely overwhelmed. I want to have the resources to tackle the challenges that will arise in my life, without having the need to hide myself from the world. 
 

What are your experiences with this? What has helped you? I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts.  

[NoSelfSelf]

I was born with this, so i know what you mean, what helped me the most is integrating the qualities of someone who you would consider an asshole,like not caring(destroying empathy not fully but enough it doesnt bother you),taking logic over emotion in contemplating about relationships,becoming more selfish,full acountability on yourself,seeing emotions as weakness,not judging yourself in any way ,not judging anyone because you dont care about the outside world(to kill this strong empathy even further) ,also taking more of a man approach to living life(study from someone that is ruthless but not with toxic idelogy, if they talk bad about someone then thats not it)takes time and hard pills to swallow until you dont feel emotions that strongly but in normal way...meditation ofcourse helps.

[nhoktinvt]

just..do what's right and you'll feel better

[Schizophonia]

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I was born with this, so i know what you mean, what helped me the most is integrating the qualities of someone who you would consider an asshole,like not caring(destroying empathy not fully but enough it doesnt bother you),taking logic over emotion in contemplating about relationships,becoming more selfish,full acountability on yourself,seeing emotions as weakness,not judging yourself in any way ,not judging anyone because you dont care about the outside world(to kill this strong empathy even further) ,also taking more of a man approach to living life(study from someone that is ruthless but not with toxic idelogy, if they talk bad about someone then thats not it)takes time and hard pills to swallow until you dont feel emotions that strongly but in normal way...meditation ofcourse helps.

It's all polarized, so ultimately it's not hypersensitive nice vs bad assholes, it's more hypersensitive nice and bad (sadistic, psychotic) vs nice and bad insensitive (opportunistic).
I do not know if it's clear.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Schizophonia

[caspex]

I never had this problem, however I know a person who did. He used to cry really easily even if someone was being mean jokingly. What worked exceptionally well for him was taking Ashwagandha, I personally noticed a massive stability within him after some weeks. This was a few years ago and I have not talked to him since so I don't know how he is doing now or if he is still taking them.

Lately I have seen it getting popular within fitness however the intended use for this herb is simply to help with hypersensitivity. I personally won't recommend any average person to take this as they will become emotionally numb maybe after a month or so.

Edit: To be honest, your hypersensitivity seems to be more of an emotional problem than your nature, so I don't think you should take Ashwangandha then. Working on your emotions is probably the best

Edited August 25, 2023 by Swarnim

[NoSelfSelf]

@Schizophonia I dont get how you can be hipersensitive and being an asshole, that is not what is being meant by here since its personal and i experienced it.

Narcissist is also hipersensitive but its not same as what i noticed from this thread its tough to explain if you havent experienced it..

There are actually hipersensitive people who recieve and feel everything 10 times more than other, psychopat dont feel anything and narcissist is sensitive because of the trauma/insecurity/shame...

[Schizophonia]

11 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Schizophonia I dont get how you can be hipersensitive and being an asshole, that is not what is being meant by here since its personal and i experienced it.

 

Yes, the more empathetic you are, the more likely you are to be aggressive or even sadistic depending on the context.
This is precisely why women and children are meaner than men, in general.

Psychopathy is the other thing, psychopaths can have "asshole" behavior but not for the same reasons.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Schizophonia Nah that is more of a being emotional in the moment than anything to do with empathy.

Empathy is just being able to feel the other person and enviroment like a satelite it doesnt mean something cant distrupt the signal.

You can add your why behind it, this is my experience...

Also curious if there is more to it than what i said.

Edited August 25, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[Bobby_2021]

Sensitivity is the biggest gift, but you need to selectively tame it down as necessary. 

[StarStruck]

Are traumas a burden or a gift? That is the age old question. I choose to see it as a gift.

[Bobby_2021]

2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Are traumas a burden or a gift? That is the age old question. I choose to see it as a gift.

Trauma is not a gift. You can still love and enjoy like an animal with loads of trauma, but the best things in life will elude you because of the trauma. 

[StarStruck]

47 minutes ago, Bobby_2021 said:

Trauma is not a gift. You can still love and enjoy like an animal with loads of trauma, but the best things in life will elude you because of the trauma. 

Viktor Frankl who’s seminal works on this topic are profound disagrees with you on this topic. I’m leaning more towards his position tbh.