The Redeemer

Honestly I believe all men should be loved

29 posts in this topic

I believe all men should be loved for just being themselves. Ironically I think this would improve men's self-development, as when you feel that someone loves and appreciates you just for you, without having to do anything, you feel a whole lot more at ease and literally everything is better. You don't have to do anything. You are just loved for you. I wish the world was more inclined this way.

Edited by The Redeemer

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Why do you need others to love you? Why not love yourself?

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1 minute ago, Raze said:

Why do you need others to love you? Why not love yourself?

 
 

I do love myself but it needs to go both ways. Not gonna lie to myself and say that I don't desire love and companionship.

Edited by The Redeemer

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3 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

You do realize Eckhart Tolle is married right?

he wasn’t complaining online about how he isn’t getting love he desperately craves.

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1 minute ago, Raze said:

he wasn’t complaining online about how he isn’t getting love he desperately craves.

because he is MARRIED.

He has the love he desperately craves.

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3 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

because he is MARRIED.

He has the love he desperately craves.

So you know for sure he was desperately craving it before he got married? Source for this claim?

Edited by Raze

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5 minutes ago, Raze said:

So you know for sure he was desperately craving it before he got married? Source for this claim?

He was literally suicidal. Yes, he had his awakening, but he eventually reengaged with the world and ultimately married his wife.

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3 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

He was literally suicidal. Yes, he had his awakening, but he eventually reengaged with the world and ultimately married his wife.

That doesn’t prove what you’re saying, he still didn’t get married because of desperate craving. He has parts of himself that desired a relationship, yes, but he didn’t have the psychological craving and seeking completion like you have. 

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38 minutes ago, Raze said:

That doesn’t prove what you’re saying, he still didn’t get married because of desperate craving. He has parts of himself that desired a relationship, yes, but he didn’t have the psychological craving and seeking completion like you have. 

Shaming my cravings does not help. The psyche must go through this.

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If you keep looking for love, you'll end up destroying yourself. Most people play games in the name of love. Don't crave love so hard, you'll end up attracting weird narcissistic individuals ready to hawk on your needs. Love is a serious illusion. In fact true love is like mental illness, you really have to be crazy enough to give all your love to a person on a mad level. And nobody does that. The love that you see is bland and boring, just people putting up smokescreen to look perfect together. Most people don't have the emotional capacity for true love because a lot of emotional labor goes into that. Attraction is nice and alluring but it's mostly temporary. Any love that is lasting is like companionship, yet it's not as romantic as you'd like to imagine, just companionship. These relationships are a representation of the mind's needs for attachment, neediness, stimulation, deprivation, comfort, excitement, passion. The right time to think about love is when you are actually in love. Ruminating about love is a waste of time when you don't have an actual partner. 

Also merely thinking about love is not enough. It's an intellectual gllue. It sticks and doesn't come off and perpetuates. Creating voids and holes and woundedness within. Just a recipe for depression, melancholia and further un-healing. You'll never get anything productive out of this. It's preoccupation and rumination of love. 

Also realize that people have suffered in love. They found someone, fell in love and attracted a lot of suffering. Betrayal, breakup, abandonment, cheating, rejection, discord, fights, damage, destructiin, volatility, coldness, chaos, failure. These are packages that come handy with the idea of love and romance. And it's immense emotional torment and suffering. Mental suffering. Emotional suffering. These are not easy to deal with and these people deserved fairness and justice. They didn't deserve hurt and pain. Heartbreak and heartache. So it's not all rosy and rainbows when you are in love. This needs to be realized. That companionship comes at a cost. Either the cost is compromise or it's pain. The gain is very little. The hurt can be too loud. 

If you feel so entitled to someone's love, then what do you feel about people who suffered after falling in love. Aren't they worse off than you? 

This world is a game of unfairness. Life is unfair. It will never be fair. It doesn't care about your desires and passions. This is not nihilism or pessimism of any kind. If you cannot take the torture of not being loved, you're in for a rude awakening, if you cannot take the disappointment of not getting or finding love, then you will be completely broken if someone breaks your heart and damages you in love or abruptly abandons you after years of emotional attachment, you'll completely fall apart and be in absolute shambles. You won't be able to deal with the pain, frustration and struggle of a damaging destructive relationship. What's the point of all this other than endless cycles of emotional damage and years of unhealing, uphill battles that countless single parents, warring couples, divorced partners, separated lovers have to go through and they barely scratch by everyday. They not only suffer loneliness and emptiness, lack of love but the added burdens of their past mistakes of bad relationships, toxic partners, sometimes legal issues, endless drama, mistakes and wrong partners they chose that now come to bite them and they not only come to regret them but also have to pay for the repercussions and consequences of these precious mistakes. 

Put yourself in their shoes and think for a second. Most likely love will not look so beautiful then. 

You're a dream chaser. You're looking at it with rose tinted glasses. Love is not easy and is often painful and distrustful and hopeless. 

It only looks nice when you want it. Not when you actually have it. It's like a mountain, looks nice from a distance, yet climbing it will make you bored and stressed.

A healthy relationship is worth the hard work yet you can't be sure of its expiry. Then everything you put in is wasted. All effort, time, resources, emotional cost wasted. 

Love is the single biggest cause of despair in the world. It makes us crazy and excited yet it comes at a huge cost. 

If you turn your life into a mathematical equation of summation of costs and benefits, you'll benefit more that way.

Apply mathematics to love. Right now the math is that you're not in love so thinking about it is "zero" benefit. 

 


My name is Reena Gerlach and I'm a woman of few words. 

 

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6 minutes ago, Buck Edwards said:

If you keep looking for love, you'll end up destroying yourself. Most people play games in the name of love. Don't crave love so hard, you'll end up attracting weird narcissistic individuals ready to hawk on your needs. Love is a serious illusion. In fact true love is like mental illness, you really have to be crazy enough to give all your love to a person on a mad level. And nobody does that. The love that you see is bland and boring, just people putting up smokescreen to look perfect together. Most people don't have the emotional capacity for true love because a lot of emotional labor goes into that. Attraction is nice and alluring but it's mostly temporary. Any love that is lasting is like companionship, yet it's not as romantic as you'd like to imagine, just companionship. These relationships are a representation of the mind's needs for attachment, neediness, stimulation, deprivation, comfort, excitement, passion. The right time to think about love is when you are actually in love. Ruminating about love is a waste of time when you don't have an actual partner. 

Also merely thinking about love is not enough. It's an intellectual gllue. It sticks and doesn't come off and perpetuates. Creating voids and holes and woundedness within. Just a recipe for depression, melancholia and further un-healing. You'll never get anything productive out of this. It's preoccupation and rumination of love. 

Also realize that people have suffered in love. They found someone, fell in love and attracted a lot of suffering. Betrayal, breakup, abandonment, cheating, rejection, discord, fights, damage, destructiin, volatility, coldness, chaos, failure. These are packages that come handy with the idea of love and romance. And it's immense emotional torment and suffering. Mental suffering. Emotional suffering. These are not easy to deal with and these people deserved fairness and justice. They didn't deserve hurt and pain. Heartbreak and heartache. So it's not all rosy and rainbows when you are in love. This needs to be realized. That companionship comes at a cost. Either the cost is compromise or it's pain. The gain is very little. The hurt can be too loud. 

If you feel so entitled to someone's love, then what do you feel about people who suffered after falling in love. Aren't they worse off than you? 

This world is a game of unfairness. Life is unfair. It will never be fair. It doesn't care about your desires and passions. This is not nihilism or pessimism of any kind. If you cannot take the torture of not being loved, you're in for a rude awakening, if you cannot take the disappointment of not getting or finding love, then you will be completely broken if someone breaks your heart and damages you in love or abruptly abandons you after years of emotional attachment, you'll completely fall apart and be in absolute shambles. You won't be able to deal with the pain, frustration and struggle of a damaging destructive relationship. What's the point of all this other than endless cycles of emotional damage and years of unhealing, uphill battles that countless single parents, warring couples, divorced partners, separated lovers have to go through and they barely scratch by everyday. They not only suffer loneliness and emptiness, lack of love but the added burdens of their past mistakes of bad relationships, toxic partners, sometimes legal issues, endless drama, mistakes and wrong partners they chose that now come to bite them and they not only come to regret them but also have to pay for the repercussions and consequences of these precious mistakes. 

Put yourself in their shoes and think for a second. Most likely love will not look so beautiful then. 

You're a dream chaser. You're looking at it with rose tinted glasses. Love is not easy and is often painful and distrustful and hopeless. 

It only looks nice when you want it. Not when you actually have it. It's like a mountain, looks nice from a distance, yet climbing it will make you bored and stressed.

A healthy relationship is worth the hard work yet you can't be sure of its expiry. Then everything you put in is wasted. All effort, time, resources, emotional cost wasted. 

Love is the single biggest cause of despair in the world. It makes us crazy and excited yet it comes at a huge cost. 

If you turn your life into a mathematical equation of summation of costs and benefits, you'll benefit more that way.

Apply mathematics to love. Right now the math is that you're not in love so thinking about it is "zero" benefit. 

 

OMG, this really hurt my heart reading this. Seriously, it made me cry. Please don't have these types of belief systems. They are not true. You've been hurt bad. Very bad, more than once, and now this is how you see the world. I'm not even saying the opposite is true, I'm not saying anything is true, because there is none, only what you perceive to be true. Relative truth. Nothing fair about life is right, but what is fair. Life must be unfair. If it wasn't unfair it wouldn't be fair. God has no favorites, so that's the bottom line why life seems unfair. What's fair for some is unfair to some. All can't be pleased because of our different survival mechanisms. So to be fair, it had to be unfair. Life is what we make it. If you think those things you are saying are Absolutes, then your lens need to be adjusted. They are not like that for everyone, only if you say it is.


Know thyself....

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@Princess Arabia then maybe you haven't been hurt enough to protect yourself. 

The body learns. The mind learns. When you are hurt in love, you will escape into self preservation self protection mode. Your worldview might become negative. But this negativity will protect you from hurt, pain and loss. 

 


My name is Reena Gerlach and I'm a woman of few words. 

 

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Me too


Be-Do-Have

There is no failure, only feedback

Do what works

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Just now, Buck Edwards said:

@Princess Arabia then maybe you haven't been hurt enough to protect yourself. 

The body learns. The mind learns. When you are hurt in love, you will escape into self preservation self protection mode. Your worldview might become negative. But this negativity will protect you from hurt, pain and loss. 

 

I understand that. This is not about who has been hurt more. It's about healing the wound. You're only hurting yourself by holding on and reliving the past. Our defense mechanisms hurt us more than the thing were defending against. The thing we're defending against has past, but the defense mechanism lives on. See now you're spreading it to someone else. It's like a disease. You protect yourself by loving some more and love some more and keep loving some more. That's the best self defense mechanism you can have. Giving is receiving, and the more love you give the more you receive. 

Love wins all the time. There's no such thing as negativity protecting you. It only hurts you. Your true nature is love and when you go against that you're resisting. Yes, feel the pain, accept it as an experience, but don't hold on to it, it will manifest in other ways, even if you never love romantically again because it's energy and it MUST go somewhere. Energy is always in motion. It may and can manifest within your body as a disease. Some kind of chronic unexplainable disease. While she has moved on and found her love, you are suffering in ways unbeknownst to you the cause. This is how energy works.


Know thyself....

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Stop consuming nonsense Andrew Tate content. 

Edited by r0ckyreed

“Our most valuable resource is not time, but rather it is consciousness itself. Consciousness is the basis for everything, and without it, there could be no time and no resource possible. It is only through consciousness and its cultivation that one’s passions, one’s focus, one’s curiosity, one’s time, and one’s capacity to love can be actualized and lived to the fullest.” - r0ckyreed

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2 hours ago, The Redeemer said:

I believe all men should be loved for just being themselves. Ironically I think this would improve men's self-development, as when you feel that someone loves and appreciates you just for you, without having to do anything, you feel a whole lot more at ease and literally everything is better. You don't have to do anything. You are just loved for you. I wish the world was more inclined this way.

The only reason you feel this way is because this is who you are. You have separated yourself from yourself and now you're looking for yourself. You wouldn't desire this if this wasn't who you are. If this wasn't you at your core.  You are already loved unconditionally but you have rejected that love and now you search for it like a fish in water. It's right here, right now, you are just too blinded to see it. 

Edited by Princess Arabia

Know thyself....

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2 hours ago, r0ckyreed said:

Stop consuming nonsense Andrew Tate content. 

 
 
 

Listen to yourself talk :D

Do you not believe men are worthy of love?

What nonsense are YOU consuming??

Edited by The Redeemer

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Love exist in may forms but life is not fair and not everyone will experience it, there is no metaphysical balance to the universe where everyone gets a chance to experience everything. You often hear the advice given to suicidal people, "you are loved", "someone cares"....er no not everyone is loved, not everyone has family there are billions of people on earth and tragedy beyond your comfortable narrow experience that you can't imagine. I don't believe in a deterministic point of view of reality i.e everything is planned when you are born but I believe individual has particular patterns and rhythms specific to their life path and the free will to respond to those patterns. Some would respond to a lack of love with great determination and focus to achieve something, some would fall into the most abject despair. Some lucky are born into great families and situations and never even have to think about these things.

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