Malt Trip on the Beach Report

[Davino]

After some fruitful trips on my own, where I felt fairly functional despite my radical state of consciousness, I decided to test this substance in other environments. I was curious to know how I would handle "regular" life from a radically different state of consciousness. These experiments, though they involved some unavoidable risks, yielded out-of-the-box results. Interesting scenarios came up that would never have happened if I was just contemplating alone in my room. I wanted to be in contact with life. Today I'll explain my experience with malt on a beautiful beach with my partner.

I decided to snort it in a private place and then return with my girl in the sand. However, I felt she was uneasy with the fact that I did such a compound in this situation, but my decision was already taken, and I went for it and surrendered the outcome. I started feeling my consciousness interpenetrate the landscape as the waves in the sea crushed with the shore. I was not becoming more conscious, but consciousness itself was taking the primary seat in the experience. The stories of being human, laying on my towel on planet Earth, started unwinding, and the knots in myself were released inside consciousness as consciousness. While this was happening, I felt my girlfriend's presence. I looked at her and my consciousness traveled through all her internal mazes, in and out to the surroundings. I felt her internal state, so I decided to talk with her. As she opened up, she asked me why I had to take drugs, saying that I was far out in my own world while behaving like a child.

Here is when a fascinating and remarkable phenomenon started happening. My mind started to integrate the following states of consciousness: "All that is going on is Pure Consciousness" + my regular human state of consciousness (biases included) + my partner's state of consciousness + the socially calibrated surrounding aware state of consciousness. My mind was simultaneously and smoothly integrating it all into a cohesive, singular, glorious, but naturally felt state of consciousness. Before going on with the story, I was surprised by the absence of contradiction and the profound holism of the state that I found myself in. From here, I was able to see that the real point she was trying to make was that she wanted to connect with me and have a high-quality time together (that's her love language). The point was not the drugs themselves or my epiphanies, but her need to feel connected and to spend an enjoyable afternoon together at the beach. After going through it together, crying, and hugging each other, we decided to take a bath in the sea.

Where are the boundaries of myself? I think while my body and the water start flowing together in a rhythmic dance of presence and consciousness. We kiss each other, we laugh together, and we see the little fish swimming around our feet. I had the urge to pee, and I decided to let it all go there. I had never done such a thing, and it was strange in the beginning. Suddenly, it felt like fucking the whole sea and cumming with yellow water. What a release I felt! What is fucking anyway? Who do I fuck but my very own self? 

I get out of the water and approach my towel. I realize what Leo means by "figments of my own imagination"—my parents, my life, everything... My Mind constructs Reality. Wait, all of it? After each awakening, the ratio of what my mind constructs and does not construct keeps going up. I ask myself, is even this present reality experience I'm having a construction of my own mind? How would I tell the difference? It suddenly shocks me. My Mind is reality itself; the Engine that is Reality is nothing but my very own mind. Everywhere I look, everything I experience, is but the face of God, I'm always looking at myself through myself in myself as myself. The One Unifying Reality, both unattainable and unlosable, ever-already present in all states of consciousness.

Gradually, my consciousness shifts into a more base line state. Yet, this question still hammers inside of me. Are all states of consciousness but the One Reality? Even when my Mind merges multiple states of consciousness, both transhuman and human into one, I realize that is just another state of consciousness I can be in. Is Awakening a state of consciousness that includes all states of consciousness? Or rather, are all states of consciousness and modes of being God itself flowering in its infinity?

Edited August 24, 2023 by Davino

[OBEler]

@Davino woah Thanks for the great report! I cannot answer your deep question. I still have no breakthrough experience. Plugged 12 mg eyes closed today. I ask me how different would it be if I open my eyes constantly. 

I was just Fluid, merging consciousness until consciousness was complete still and I could not feel myself anymore. That was nice but I dont know how to categorize this into a spiritual insight like nondualty or so. 

Edited August 24, 2023 by OBEler

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, Davino said:

Is Awakening a state of consciousness that includes all states of consciousness?

No

[Davino]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No

How are we to reconcile the apparent infinity of states of consciousness we can be in, with a range of "awakened" states of consciousness?

I'm really struggling to make sense of this. On the one hand, some states are obviously more conscious and Godly than others. But on the other hand, what are all states of consciousness but consciousness itself? I feel choked by states of consciousness and sense that whatever state I find myself in, that must be the closest to God and Reality I can be at that moment. I have this feeling of losing God in the form of the current state of consciousness for it to be in a never ending purer state.

However, going forward in that direction seems endless, as well as in the rest of directions. I feel kinda lost and amazed by my own infinite mind. The more I awaken, the more I feel that it is all The One Reality, manifesting in a particular state, yet the existential urge for ever deeper exploration of Godly states of being keeps on increasing.

I would really like some high-quality advice here to get some orientation @Leo Gura

Thanks in advance

[Leo Gura]

5 hours ago, Davino said:

How are we to reconcile the apparent infinity of states of consciousness we can be in, with a range of "awakened" states of consciousness?

What is the problem?

5 hours ago, Davino said:

On the one hand, some states are obviously more conscious and Godly than others. But on the other hand, what are all states of consciousness but consciousness itself?

Yes

5 hours ago, Davino said:

I feel choked by states of consciousness and sense that whatever state I find myself in, that must be the closest to God and Reality I can be at that moment. I have this feeling of losing God in the form of the current state of consciousness for it to be in a never ending purer state.

It's both. It's the current state but you could also be in a higher state.

5 hours ago, Davino said:

However, going forward in that direction seems endless, as well as in the rest of directions. I feel kinda lost and amazed by my own infinite mind. The more I awaken, the more I feel that it is all The One Reality, manifesting in a particular state, yet the existential urge for ever deeper exploration of Godly states of being keeps on increasing.

Consciousness can have endless states.

[Davino]

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

What is the problem?

That it's infinite. It is never ending. What can you do with that? Where to go? What to awaken to? It's humblingly infinite.

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's both. It's the current state but you could also be in a higher state.

What is awakening if this game goes forever then? What is the reference point? They all seem lost in this infinite mind. There is nothing holding it, no one vs the other. Just endless. What is awakening? This endless game? Consciousness for infinity?

4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Consciousness can have endless states.

What is the states I want to explore then? Is in here where the gold is? In the infinite exploration of myself? Just for the sake of it, being it's own meaning?

 

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Davino said:

That it's infinite. It is never ending. What can you do with that? Where to go? What to awaken to?

Fall in love with it.

1 hour ago, Davino said:

What is awakening if this game goes forever then? What is the reference point? They all seem lost in this infinite mind.

Not lost. You can be awake or not.

1 hour ago, Davino said:

What is the states I want to explore then? Is in here where the gold is? In the infinite exploration of myself? Just for the sake of it, being it's own meaning?

That's up to you.

[Davino]

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Fall in love with it.

Oh, that's it. Love is what I was missing. I just felt so shocked by infinity that I forgot to love it. In love I can find refuge and peace within this truth.

17 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You can be awake or not.

I probably miss the direct experience but I struggle to understand what you encapsulate in the word Awake. Is being awake an infinite subset of the bigger infinity of all the possible states of consciousness? In other words, there is a range of states of consciousness that are awake to what God is? or what is the tipping point to now that you are in an Awake state of consciousness beyond relative comparisons with other states of consciousness? 

[Razard86]

Great trip report and great questions. Such genuine seeking. Keep going! Look forward to your next report.