How to get fully painfully honest with yourself?

[PurpleTree]

I read this quote 

“only the phony won’t get enlightened”

 

i’m not sure how honest i am with myself.

i often have conflicting thoughts, ideas and beliefs how do i know which one is true for me?

also especially for example when it comes to sex and women because i think most men would like to have sex with most decent looking normal women, so how can you be fully honest there.

how to get fully painfully honest with yourself?

[Vibroverse]

You should find a balance point of self honesty while, at the same time, stay in balance with your true self. A true shadow work like that, in my opinion, must be one where you transcend yourself by including yourself within yourself. 

 

[RickyFitts]

Maybe the hardest thing, I've found, is being honest with ourselves about how we really feel, because so many of us have become so conditioned to repress our emotions, and actually fear our emotions, that we really don't know how we feel, deep down, underneath any negativity we may be feeling. For me, this is the area where most people need to do the bulk of the inner work, so keeping an emotions journal could be beneficial for a lot of people, it could help them to become aware of and then release emotions that may have been trapped in their systems for a long time.

[Salvijus]

22 hours ago, PurpleTree said:

“only the phony won’t get enlightened”

Uuuh, nice quote.

In regards to the topic:

Dishonesty and fear usually go together. If you were not afraid, you'd have no reason to hide.

Edited August 23, 2023 by Salvijus

[Salvijus]

Also it's a question of how aware you are. If you’re very self-aware it's very easy to be honest. Otherwise you can be full of bs and not even know it. No awareness = no chance to be honest because ego has many layers where it is dishonest about that we are unaware of. And there's usually a dozen of defense mechanisms around those dishonest parts.  So it's hard to get through often. Without deep self-awareness there's no way.

Edited August 23, 2023 by Salvijus

[martins name]

I think consciousness should come first. It will then show you how you're dishonest and you will transform yourself from that. Bringing awareness found in practice to your life will conflict with your current lies. Then you will know the lies.

[Razard86]

On 8/22/2023 at 0:52 PM, RickyFitts said:

Maybe the hardest thing, I've found, is being honest with ourselves about how we really feel, because so many of us have become so conditioned to repress our emotions, and actually fear our emotions, that we really don't know how we feel, deep down, underneath any negativity we may be feeling. For me, this is the area where most people need to do the bulk of the inner work, so keeping an emotions journal could be beneficial for a lot of people, it could help them to become aware of and then release emotions that may have been trapped in their systems for a long time.

Correct. It takes work to even become aware of your feelings. Took me a year and a half of work to unlock full access to my feelings. 

[RickyFitts]

4 hours ago, Razard86 said:

Correct. It takes work to even become aware of your feelings. Took me a year and a half of work to unlock full access to my feelings. 

Certainly can do, it sure did for me. Maybe more of an issue for men, we do tend to bottle things up more than women.

[UnbornTao]

You already likely sense or suspect how to go about this practice. Tell the truth. Be clear about your experience. Accurately represent your experience as it is. Be straightforward about your intentions. Avoid withdrawing relevant facts if a situation calls for them, don't lie or conceal. Become completely aware of your internal state and of situations. Call things by their name. Notice how you pretend and gradually move towards authentic expression.

Don't assume that being honest has to always be painful.

Practice and learn it on your own.

Edited August 28, 2023 by UnbornTao

[flowboy]

On 8/22/2023 at 2:42 PM, PurpleTree said:

I read this quote 

“only the phony won’t get enlightened”

 

i’m not sure how honest i am with myself.

i often have conflicting thoughts, ideas and beliefs how do i know which one is true for me?

also especially for example when it comes to sex and women because i think most men would like to have sex with most decent looking normal women, so how can you be fully honest there.

how to get fully painfully honest with yourself?

@PurpleTree The only way to be honest when you're conflicted, is to face the fact that there's multiple truths, multiple conflicting but passionate sides of the argument.

Multiple sub-personalities having different agendas.

Have you ever tried any parts work?

[Schizophonia]

Why would that be painful? If it's painful you're still resisting.