How to Build a Large Social Circle Without Alcohol/Partying?

[Insightful27]

I just started my first year at Uni and I know nobody (I went out of state). I'm not sure how to go about building a large, fun social network that doesn't revolve around clubbing, partying, and alcohol. Finding a spiritual community would be great, but the vast majority of students aren't into serious spirituality. 

Any advice? 

[Leo Gura]

I have done all my clubbing and partying without a drink of alcohol. It's exactly the same, the only difference is you never drink.

[cjoseph90]

Ah man, i wish i could socialise without alcohol, its like the cheat Code for socialistion/ relaxation. I am not ready to give It Up just yet but its a goal of mine. But i admire you for wanting to do clubbing and partying without alcohol.

Finding a spiritual community may be hard at uni, so joining certain clubs, activities outside may be the way. Good luck

[Karmadhi]

You can join Whatsapp groups and meetup events. I have met many people this way. There should be such communities online if you search. 

[lizz_luna]

Find your people.

I moved from Mexico to Canada 4 years ago and didn't know anybody. Find your community. Talk to locals about being new in town, they will show you the places to go. What I did was finding a social sport that you like where you can meet people (in here climbing is somewhat popular and a very social sport as you at least need someone else to belay you while you climb at all times). If you enjoy soccer join a team, go to a MMA Gym, crossfit, etc.

I started going to spiritual events like sound circles and events and started meeting more and more people. I started doing my own events and expanded my community even more.

Find a restaurant, bar, mall you really like spend time there and go regularly. Eventually you will see other regulars and spark conversations.

I also started to network with Latin people as it is a big part of my community. This worked well as well.

 

[Leo Gura]

12 hours ago, Sidra khan said:

I think you were born sober, you have sober chromosomes ?

No, I just respect myself too much to drink.

Edited August 22, 2023 by Leo Gura

[RawJudah]

@Insightful27 I think the only solution to this is to never drink alcohol/do drugs in the first place. As in - have been sober your whole life with no desire to drink/take drugs. 
If you go down the alcohol/drugs route to help you socialise then you’ll build that habit and it’ll be hard to seperate alcohol/drugs with socialising. I’ve noticed that in my own life. It’s not impossible to go out and socialise without those things, but if you’ve never gone out from day 1 and socialised sober in a club then it will be painful. 
 

Being stone cold sober around drunk/high people is like getting blood from a stone! 

[r0ckyreed]

I agree and am the same way as Leo. Just respect yourself and achieve everything sober. Alcohol lowers your intelligence. I don’t understand why anybody drinks alcohol. It literally shrinks your brain.

[cjoseph90]

3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

No, I just respect myself too much to drink.

now i get when people consume alochol, literally you´re consuming a poison/ not good for oes health, and yes im talking from my bias but you´re being judgemental andmoralistic about what others decide to put into their bodies. From the absolute  perspective nothing wrong with it.

[Yimpa]

@cjoseph90 and you’re superimposing judgement and moralism onto a statement 

[Insightful27]

18 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

have done all my clubbing and partying without a drink of alcohol. It's exactly the same, the only difference is you never drink.

Do you face social backlash from this? For example, a girl might feel uncomfortable if you go out to get drinks and she is the only one drinking, etc.

[Rafael Thundercat]

Connect with a Mórmon Church. They dont drink coffee,alcohol,dont  smoke and the girls are cute. And they belive in God and even that we are here to become Godlike. 

Well, you will need to have patience with some dogmatic doctrines but overall every tribe have its own dogmas. 

Edited August 22, 2023 by Rafael Thundercat

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

23 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I have done all my clubbing and partying without a drink of alcohol. It's exactly the same, the only difference is you never drink.

Alcohol makes it harder to game in my experience as it makes her "feel uncomfortable(unless she is drunk)".

Have you ever had alcohol in your early days?

Edited August 23, 2023 by MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI

[Leo Gura]

6 hours ago, Insightful27 said:

Do you face social backlash from this? For example, a girl might feel uncomfortable if you go out to get drinks and she is the only one drinking, etc.

In that case I would order a club soda.

Backlash is very rare. What can happen is not so much backlash as a socially awkward situation. For example, I lost a few girls when they invited me to smoke weed with them but I didn't want to smoke. It lead to a socially awkward situation which ruined the vibe of the interaction. So that kind of thing can happen.

59 minutes ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

Have you ever had alcohol in your early days?

No

Edited August 23, 2023 by Leo Gura

[hyruga]

One thing you can do is join a church or some community activities in your society. There are also websites like meetup.com which gives you the chance to meet up with people of certain hobbies. Then you can build up your social circle.

It's also about your level of energy. If you make a huge impact on people, people will automatically gravitate towards you.

[UnlovingGod]

38 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

In that case I would order a club soda.

Backlash is very rare. What can happen is not so much backlash as a socially awkward situation. For example, I lost a few girls when they invited me to smoke weed with them but I didn't want to smoke. It lead to a socially awkward situation which ruined the vibe of the interaction. So that kind of thing can happen.

No

Quite interesting with the Weed example. I mean even if, you can still do the vibe-bridge and have a lighter, that you can give or something like that. Learnt it from a friend. Always bring your light even if you don´t smoke anything, you can just give it someone and BAM conversation. I do like to be around people that smoke weed even if I don´t, you can use a whole type of another question palette, as they are in another state of councioussnes, which is really fun! You can literally vibe your way through this sort of stuff, I mean, if you are chill enough, nobody will question you why you do this or that, hang with them  out, even if you don´t smoke. Because being chill equals to not being a danger or be seen as a survival threat and you can do all sorts of stuff. I saw a video of some guys going to areas that where prohibited to enter, they just put some clothes, that gave them authority and were also chill. Authority plus not be seen as danger and you can do a loooooooot of stuff.

Edited August 23, 2023 by UnlovingGod

[UnbornTao]

Why do think alcohol is needed in the first place in order to make friends? That's a false assumptoin.

[r0ckyreed]

There is no social backlash. People offered me alcohol and I said no. They offered me weed and said no. I still hung out with them and blew their minds with my magic tricks and dancing skills. I teach people that you can be high without drugs. It is also good for pre-selection because I don’t want friends who are substance abusers. Not interested in women who cannot vibe with me sober on the same level of consciousness. If you need drugs to have fun, something is wrong with your methods. The most spiritual thing you can do at a bar/club is being sober and non attached to drugs. Be the Buddha at the bar.

Edited August 23, 2023 by r0ckyreed

[Leo Gura]

11 hours ago, UnlovingGod said:

You can literally vibe your way through this sort of stuff,

Of course you can but that takes skill and experience which most beginners will not have.

Edited August 23, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Francis777]

20 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

In that case I would order a club soda.be

Backlash is very rare. What can happen is not so much backlash as a socially awkward situation. For example, I lost a few girls when they invited me to smoke weed with them but I didn't want to smoke. It lead to a socially awkward situation which ruined the vibe of the interaction. So that kind of thing can happen.

No

Have ever tried alcohol at all? It’s huge culture where I grew up so I have drank a lot from quite young