Lsd trip report, stuck in presence loop as the self.

[Jowblob]

On 22-8-2023 at 9:25 PM, Soul Flight said:

Thanks for the update. I was thinking about you. Glad you sobered up.

What have the last few weeks been like? Substance use? Eating? Sleeping? What led to this event? Did you mostly just need 12 hours to sober up from the LSD? I was worried you might need hospitalization for mild psychosis.

I'm glad you tossed your stash. Maybe use more moderately in the future. Maybe once a month or less. Eat healthy, sleep, drink water, etc.

I had similar insights as yourself. I saw God as suffering because he/she is lonely and is the only awareness and is desperate to find another other to talk to and to love and to have a friend. I even speculate our human compulsion to search for aliens is a metaphor for God searching for other life forms. We are alone in the universe just like God is alone at the macrocosm level. But maybe I am projecting my loneliness onto God. I see Krishna creating Radha to love himself/herself as an archetype of this concept. I also had intuitions that God has gone a little nuts being alone all the time.

Be well. Be safe. Thanks for the insights.

@Soul Flight last lsd trip was like 4 months ago, and the only substance i used after that was mdma like 1 month ago. Yeah after 10hours lsd effects were pretty much done specially an a dose like this. I think it lasted for so long because i literally deconstructed reality in my mind, and the remembrance of who i was woke me up in this physical body. After waking up, i had like lotus feet they looked like perfect/divine feet and on every thing that i stepped changed to a perfect state of being. This is how i realized that i'm in some form of god state right now.

God is suffering because it can't fully accept itself, fully accepting yourself means having everything that you know inside of you and beyond for eternity non sleep state. Lies/insanity/deconstructions/murder/rape/abuse and so on. As god you have free will to dream about love or be love or dream insanity, lies, deceptions, god cannot stay in the same state for eternity that is why reincarnation is happening. Reincarnation literally gives you= sleep which is closest to death,  non idleness=forgetting , being loved/taken care of by others and so on. For god this is much better then staying eternal and being aware 24/7

There is a great example of Haidakhan babaji, recent mahavatar apperance with lots of witnesses that said what he did and that he was god in human form.

One time someone said, i could see babaji was suffering from taking so much karma. Another witness told a story that when he walked with him to the bathroom, babaji looked into the mirror and went crazy/screamed or something like that. This is what happens when you're in super conscious states as you're basically only experiencing yourself and insanity at all time, to be in this state is like having courage of god but you won't sustain this for a long time and will crave to dumb yourself down. There are even higher states then this, but there is none to take control of this state as nobody wants it. Most if not all our reality is based on lies, and its necessary to shape it remember this

Edited August 23, 2023 by Jowblob

[Bulgarianspirit]

So @Jowblob do you think that is how you got here in the low ego state, because you couldn't handle your god self, it was too much power etc? 

Would be crazy anything you think or feel manifests itself, uhh and you know you are all alone as god. 

We put ourselves in ego chains then ask what is this life blah blah, crazy stuff.

[Jowblob]

50 minutes ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

So @Jowblob do you think that is how you got here in the low ego state, because you couldn't handle your god self, it was too much power etc? 

Would be crazy anything you think or feel manifests itself, uhh and you know you are all alone as god. 

We put ourselves in ego chains then ask what is this life blah blah, crazy stuff.

@Bulgarianspirit  The power that came with it, even though it wasn't much was scary and boring at the same time since you're the only experiencer. With that power you're also opening yourself to a form of omniscience , so at this state you have to accept yourself and love yourself fully because you will have an understanding how reality works around you and it is pretty much insanity/lies/love/dream/illusion etc.

 

You get into the ego state is because in the god state there is nothing to do, you're literally dreaming the manifest and unmanifest and everything is possible . You're also aware that there is life in you and that everything is you, you're also aware that these lives in you are just illusions.  Because you have free will as god, even dreaming up harmony/love won't last that long and you will want something new. From what i have seen the best and only option god has is to fantasize/dream up a world/character and put his own consciousness in it. And when god's consciousness becomes merged with the ego, the ego starts manifesting/creating reality from ego pov but will be unaware unless he wakes up in the dream itself.

Waking up as god in the ego dream is nothing more then a remembrance of who you are, when you wake up in the ego dream the whole world will change and be as you please. You will know in the dream that it was a false story all the time, and you were responsible for the reality around you that you manifested with your thoughts/being. The only and i repeat the only thing is to fully accept yourself and love everything, but it is easier said then done because you're not even aware of 1% what's out there so how can you fully accept yourself/love yourself and everything when you as god don't know what you are. 

This is the reason all the main mahavatars preach all the time, self acceptance/love/courage.  The further you go in realization who you are, the more of all these 3 aspects you will need. If you lack these 3, you will be at the same place and just dream yourself away to a new reality. When you're in a form of ego god state in the dream it will take enormous amount of courage to even step your foot further then your house. And there were beings that created all sorts of things while being in this state, that courage that they had while being in that state is tremendous, trust me on that

Edited August 24, 2023 by Jowblob

[Bulgarianspirit]

@Jowblob What is the insanity or the bad aspect of it though, you sound like you just see reality for what it is and get some control. Is the insanity that your power or imagination is too strong on the reality you experience, or the fact of being the only experiencer leads to insanity for you?

 

 

[Jowblob]

5 hours ago, Bulgarianspirit said:

@Jowblob What is the insanity or the bad aspect of it though, you sound like you just see reality for what it is and get some control. Is the insanity that your power or imagination is too strong on the reality you experience, or the fact of being the only experiencer leads to insanity for you?

 

 

@BulgarianspiritThe insanity is that there is no stopping, you can't stop yourself from imagining at those levels if you're still in the ego you will witness how insane creation is and that it is all you for eternity you will become aware why there are lies why you have to dumb yourself why it has to be this way and so on. It gets to the point that sleep becomes an illusion and you become the awareness itself at all times non stop for eternity.

 

When i was in this state of consciousness, i prayed and made a thread on this forum to ask for help/prayers. I knew the first thing that's gonna be said, there are no others, nobody is reading this. 

 

Then the first comment that posted on that thread, said exactly the same. This all connects/confirms about the truth that i post and experienced.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Jowblob

[Breakingthewall]

@Jowblob  

to me your mistake is obvious, you take lsd trips to understand reality, see what god is, all that, when all you have to do is stop valuing things as good or bad, and flow. everything that is not flowing is ego, greed, desire to grasp reality.

Forget knowing, just let it be. get yourself out of the way, and allow reality, that is, you, to be. then your problems and your worries will end and you will be free.  it's pretty simple btw. 

You will know when you get it when you can do lsd and everything is dance, beauty, joy, freedom. That is reality, but you are there with your greed judging that everything is wrong.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Jowblob]

14 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

@Jowblob  

to me your mistake is obvious, you take lsd trips to understand reality, see what god is, all that, when all you have to do is stop valuing things as good or bad, and flow. everything that is not flowing is ego, greed, desire to grasp reality.

Forget knowing, just let it be. get yourself out of the way, and allow reality, that is, you, to be. then your problems and your worries will end and you will be free.  it's pretty simple btw.

@Breakingthewall

Your mistake is thinking that the flowing state only contains love and harmony, that is truth in a sense but there is no free will in that and you can't sustain this state for eternity. Ones god gets bored of dreaming itself in love and harmony/peace and snaps out to understand itself and gain control, this state will stop. Gods freewill is to be whatever it wants, just as the reality is manifesting around you in the presence based on the state you're in, it is the same for god.

God is aware even more then we are, how it operates, how it deceives itself, that there might be suffering within, that's why mahavatar/gurus say that the most important thing is self acceptance of yourself. Because when you fully accept the insanity you have within, there will eternal love/harmony within yourself and you won't have to reincarnate.

Edited August 25, 2023 by Jowblob

[Breakingthewall]

34 minutes ago, Jowblob said:

Because when you fully accept the insanity you have within, there will eternal love/harmony 

Exactly, what an lsd trip is all about imo is getting you to stop judging and interpreting. The moment you see something as negative, you are judging. This is difficult, I have had LSD trips in which everything was images of torture, impalement, cruelty. This was because for me there was, and actually is, good on the one hand, which is goodness, honesty, loyalty, fun, beauty, etc., and on the other hand the bad: cruelty, betrayal, falsehood, pain, loneliness, isolation, boredom, ugliness, etc. if we want to enter mystical states we have to be able to transcend human preferences and the need of interpreting everything at least for a while, otherwise we are trapped in loops of suffering. It is not easy, but if you do not know that it is necessary, it is impossible. 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Jowblob]

23 minutes ago, Breakingthewall said:

Exactly, what an lsd trip is all about imo is getting you to stop judging. The moment you see something as negative, you are judging. This is difficult, I have had LSD trips in which everything was images of torture, impalement, cruelty. This was because for me there was, and actually is, good on the one hand, which is goodness, honesty, loyalty, fun, beauty, etc., and on the other hand the bad: cruelty, betrayal, falsehood, pain, loneliness, isolation, boredom, ugliness, etc. if we want to enter mystical states we have to be able to transcend human preferences at least for a while, otherwise we are trapped in loops of suffering. It is not easy, but if you do not know that it is necessary to transcend preference, it is impossible.

What is in ego is also in god and even more. Ego is manifest and is god incarnate that manifests reality in the presence,

Even if you're in non physical/unmanifest as god and in flow/love state, a slight change in your being will automatically change its state of being for the good or the bad. God isn't in control what it dreams if it wants to remain in harmony/love/flow state and to be in that state it is necessary for god to lose all control. No control = everything is possible

Edited August 25, 2023 by Jowblob

[Breakingthewall]

1 hour ago, Jowblob said:

God isn't in control what it dreams if it wants to remain in harmony/love/flow state and to be in that state it is necessary for god to lose all control. No control = everything is possible

I don't know if it is possible to understand why reality is manifesting itself as it does. I only see possible to open you to what existence is. If you want to understand, you are not open anymore, at least me. But maybe it's possible. There are deeper levels.