Women this men this bla bla bla bla bla bla

[NoSelfSelf]

@Sugarcoat Appreceat it ?

@Ajax Yes exactly thats 100% how you are if you dont know about this topic.You are basically caring too much which causes emotions and your attachment to them,basically you want things outside of you ,which someone who is working inside out doesnt want anything from the outside, because he pleases himself all the time..

For example if you see a woman and think she is sexy, automatically you are influenced by the outside then you look to have sex with her automatically ,because you influenced by her looks (the judgment you placed on her) and then you will look to manipulate the situation based on the judgment you made of her that she is sexy by being different towards her than with the woman you think is average.Someone who is influenced by himself wont look at her as sexy and wont look to have sex with her because that stops him to be authentic and look at her as human being.

Probably too advenced or i dont know how to convey it yet it in simple terms, if that's possible.

Perfect example is character Wednesday to check out but you will look her behaviour and not her thinking process..

 

Edited August 20, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[GLORY]

@Sugarcoat 

Lets synchronize ?

[Salvijus]

7 hours ago, GLORY said:

@Sugarcoat 

Lets synchronize ?

Mmm, I really don't want to get involved in this but I think you're being offensive, disrespectful, out of the line, unpleasent and not even aware of it. (You'll know what I meant by it)

Edited August 22, 2023 by Salvijus

[Sugarcoat]

15 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

Mmm, I really don't want to get involved in this but I think you're being offensive, disrespectful, out of the line, unpleasent and not even aware of it. (You'll know what I meant by it)

That was sweet of you thanks. 
It’s up to the moderators at this point I don’t care personally?

Edited August 22, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Salvijus]

@Sugarcoat you can be thankful later. Because this may explode big time into drama, lol.

[Sugarcoat]

22 minutes ago, Salvijus said:

@Sugarcoat you can be thankful later. Because this may explode big time into drama, lol.

??‍♀️

[GLORY]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

That was sweet of you thanks 

It was ?

[Salvijus]

@GLORY ? i'm.simping all over you glory. You're so handsome. You're braking my heart by ignoring me

[MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI]

On 8/19/2023 at 0:40 PM, Sugarcoat said:

Ever since early childhood I’ve noticed this tendency in people to worry about outside situations and other people. Now I’m specifically referring to this tendency regarding the dynamic between men and women.

 

It might sound obvious. It’s not a new concept. It has been mentioned over and over and over again by various people and especially in these types of communities that are about focusing more on yourself.

 

But I find that even if people are familiar with this tendency on some level, they still engage in it. I see it all the time. 

 

It’s hilarious to me. This is literally a SELF actualization/spirituality forum and people are still doing it all the time I cannot….

 

Are you not aware of the tension in your system that is being maintained when you are engaging in those thoughts worrying about what women are doing or vice versa what men are doing, the dating scene or the world and other people in general for that matter? 

 

And how this tension and those thoughts are completely independent from the outside situation and other people so completely unnecessary and not beneficial to you. 

 

But I guess people can’t separate the two so they genuinely feel like they are dealing with something outside themselves. But as I said those are two different things. All I see people dealing with when they are engaging in this tendency is their own minds and emotions etc…. Aka aspects of yourself. 

 

And that is great news!! Because those things are directly here and now. Thoughts are now, tension is now. Fear and anger is now. Right here. Nothing needs to change about the outside for all of that to be dealt with. Actually not really needed to be dealt with at all in a way to be dissolved.

 

Now you might say I’m doing the same here. Actually no I am not. I have ZERO problem with this tendency people have. I can’t really say what I’m doing here ? but I can say that it is NOT coming from that place i am referring to here. Now feel free to keep maintaining tension in your system by arguing with me about this if you would please ?? 

 

 

And if nobody engages then that’s a good sign people are focusing on themselves??Or actually not I believe a lot of people are fooling themselves, they believe they are focused on themselves but aren’t really

This typically is a normie problem. I never think about what anyone else is doing. Not even through social media. I go days without speaking aided by intense sadhana..

[Sugarcoat]

2 hours ago, MAHAVATAR_-_BABAJI said:

This typically is a normie problem. I never think about what anyone else is doing. Not even through social media. I go days without speaking aided by intense sadhana..

Or just be introvert ? ??

[TheCloud]

On 8/20/2023 at 0:34 PM, Sugarcoat said:

 

 

“how suffering is independent of outside “ “of what “ “by focusing on yourself you are dealing with it directly”

 

Yes so one aspect of self awareness/focusing on yourself, which is the more “spiritual” one which is one of the things I mentioned in the post: becoming directly aware of how your suffering: thoughts , mental projections, feelings, stress in the body, resentment etc (aspects of you) exist on their own, independently from anything outside of you. Yes they could be triggered by outside, and they can be about the outside, but ultimately they are not bound to outside circumstances. So by becoming directly aware of this allows for detachment from them, so this suffering can naturally dissolve by not being “fed” which is what I mean by dealing with it directly. Instead of experiencing/believing , aka “feeding the story”, that something outside yourself needs to change for this suffering to be resolved. So could be anything here, in this post I’m talking mostly about this men/women dynamic so men complaining about women or vice versa. And regarding tension, I basically mean suffering, even if it’s very subtle.

So this is more the spiritual aspect as I said but this self focus can permeate all your life just like he said above.

also another point about male female dynamic so one thing that decides who you end up with , which I guess is more applicable to women, is not only who you ~attract~ but also who you are ~attracted to~ .
So ones taste evolves naturally as one develops , heal and go deeper into oneself. This “sensing” ability grows, so you are sensitive to yourself you become sensitive to others. So instead of worrying about why are men trash ? no problem because you won’t even be attracted to such!! 

“Focusing on yourself means prioritizing your own needs and desires above that of other people” 

Yes one aspect.  You view people the same as yourself tho. So I’m taking responsibility for myself, others have responsibility for themselves too. I’m dealing w my own shit others deal with their own. You mentioned relationships. Well.. you’re focusing on yourself because you just naturally down to genetical level function that way, and want to, its the only thing that makes sense to you. It works for you. It’s a way of operating, naturally your attention goes to yourself and all that you are. It’s not about being compatible with someone. Someone will be drawn to you because you are as you are, and you will be drawn to them so they become a part of the fulfillment of your desires so become your priority one could say. 

“Leads to selfishness” well one could say everyone is selfish even those who don’t seem
The sexual frustration well focusing on yourself doesn’t mean automatically you do whatever your mind comes up with.  It’s more a general way, of you being foundation of your life , optimizing yourself first and foremost ok I’ll end it here ??

this clears something up phew ??✏️✏️✏️✏️
And thanks for your kind words 

 

 

 

Rather than shifting external awareness to internal awareness, I consider it more fruitful to harmonize and unify both awarenesses into a single whole.  The inside cannot be truly independent of the outside.  The inside circumstances and the outside are inextricably bound, and frankly, the attempts to deny the outside in favor of the inside are as unproductive as efforts to perfect the inside through the outside.  So, I think I have to disagree with you.  Or have I misunderstood?

[Javfly33]

I can relate. My whole Life has been dominated by FOMO. In fact right now i live a life that is very far from what i would like to live, justo because of fomo. 

 

 

[Ajax]

On 8/20/2023 at 0:30 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

@Sugarcoat Appreceat it ?

@Ajax Yes exactly thats 100% how you are if you dont know about this topic.You are basically caring too much which causes emotions and your attachment to them,basically you want things outside of you ,which someone who is working inside out doesnt want anything from the outside, because he pleases himself all the time..

For example if you see a woman and think she is sexy, automatically you are influenced by the outside then you look to have sex with her automatically ,because you influenced by her looks (the judgment you placed on her) and then you will look to manipulate the situation based on the judgment you made of her that she is sexy by being different towards her than with the woman you think is average.Someone who is influenced by himself wont look at her as sexy and wont look to have sex with her because that stops him to be authentic and look at her as human being.

Probably too advenced or i dont know how to convey it yet it in simple terms, if that's possible.

Perfect example is character Wednesday to check out but you will look her behaviour and not her thinking process..

 

Never heard of Wednesday. Who is she? A YT influencer?

[nhoktinvt]

1 hour ago, Ajax said:

Never heard of Wednesday. Who is she? A YT influencer?

i think he's talking about Adam Wednesday played by Jenna Ortega an actress

[Ajax]

33 minutes ago, nhoktinvt said:

i think he's talking about Adam Wednesday played by Jenna Ortega an actress

Lol, shows how much I know. I haven't seen a movie in like 3 or 4 years.

[Sugarcoat]

Just now, Ajax said:

Lol, shows how much I know. I haven't seen a movie in like 3 or 4 years.

Same 

[Sugarcoat]

5 hours ago, TheCloud said:

Rather than shifting external awareness to internal awareness, I consider it more fruitful to harmonize and unify both awarenesses into a single whole.  The inside cannot be truly independent of the outside.  The inside circumstances and the outside are inextricably bound, and frankly, the attempts to deny the outside in favor of the inside are as unproductive as efforts to perfect the inside through the outside.  So, I think I have to disagree with you.  Or have I misunderstood?

Well the thing is this post was kind of useless in a way because I have realized for myself that this is largely natural and genetic so if you naturally are like the vast majority of humanity who is more outside focused (or something of both but from my perspective it seems very outside) then that is how you are down to your genes and existential level. So yes for the vast majority of people the inside outside will be intrinsically bound. 
 

Now that unity you speak of not really sure what you mean although I can sort of relate to the experience of it. I can say for me that when my attention is very much inside, one of the reasons it’s because there is some important “processing” going on so it’s like all the attention is withdrawn from the world to gather itself into this process of processing. Then when it’s sort of satisfied for a little moment my attention can become more balanced and “even” but it’s all driven from the inside out if it makes sense.

. I can only guess for most people their attention is more out so one could say, to go inward (can force this by for example turning down external stimuli by being alone for example.) seems to help people “process” stuff , one benefit of it . And this “internal processing” (of suffering for example) one can say is an independent process that seems to be helped by attention to it or something idk . I’m always contemplating all of this so it’s very hard to explain. So there it’s like, inward focus has benefits to you for example by aiding this processing of shit in you, so I’m guessing that can create more of that harmony you speak of or? So it’s kind of about “the way” there. Going from outside in, to create more harmony , for most it would look like that. Or how to create that harmony you say? 
 

also I don’t really see the benefit in outside awareness unless it’s about things that benefit you or connect to you somehow so for example the basic stuff like what’s in front of you so you don’t get hit by car when walking, that awareness is important. Then if you’re engaged and doing something that connect to you like I’m writing this post . But in my experience my attention just is always inward primarily , and it has great benefits ..

 

well yes it is unroductive to “deny” the outside as you say because most people are just naturally dependent on the outside (one could say this is a spectrum of how much) so that would be denying their nature somehow. But I don’t really mean like that. It’s more I’m shining light on a certain dynamic, then it might resonate or not. But idk , maybe there is more “choice” in it than it seems to me. 

Also quick add on. “The inside can never be truly independent from outside”. Depends on what you mean I guess. Because even “the outside” can actually be the inside in form of outward mental projections so it’s like you think you have problems with outside or are being affected by it but it’s your inside projected outward 

 

I wrote this fast and as I said very hard to explain it’s 4 am don’t have energy to correct i hope somehow make sense

Edited August 27, 2023 by Sugarcoat

[Sugarcoat]

4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

I can relate. My whole Life has been dominated by FOMO. In fact right now i live a life that is very far from what i would like to live, justo because of fomo. 

 

 

Yea most people have that to some degree. I don’t really see how your life is how it is because of fomo? I’ve never really had it tho the only fomo i used to have was fear of missing out on my ideal self or something hahah . Very different existence 

[NoSelfSelf]

@Ajax Tv show on Netflix masterpiece of a performance watching it for the 3rd time ?

Some shows teach you alot of stuff i wouldnt discard it as a cheap distraction...

[TheCloud]

@Sugarcoat Another way to define external and internal as I'm using it is "others" and "self".  Ultimately the difference between the two is arbitrary.  When a neuron on the left side of my brain communicates with one on the right side through ion channel impulses we call that my self, and when a neuron in my brain communicates with a neuron in your brain through text over the internet we call that communicating with others.  However, setting aside differences in the speed, bandwidth, and fidelity of the signal, the fact of neurons communicating is identical.  The neuron itself doesn't know the difference;  it just sends and receives according to its nature.

 

I think that the ultimate perspective is to erase the imagined difference, to perceive others as our self and our self as others.  That doesn't mean that our processes of communication between your neurons and mine will change, and it probably won't change how some people are more externally active and some more internally contemplative, but I believe the difference in how we regard each other and ourselves would be substantial.  I'm not claiming to have achieved this state of unity, I only believe that it is possible and worthy of achieving.