Self-Actualization Journal - Moving Towards Depth

[ValiantSalvatore]

Yeah not masturbating gives me ironically more purpose and energy, as I started like this, I had an alarm at 4 am, woke up at 7 am and then finally at 8 am, and all 3 times I had energy to move and no apathy. In meditation this masculine energy is heavily amplified for visualization stuff and creation stuff. etc. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I also had a very weird dream about my grandma and it was tied to yesterdays activities very weird in our hold house, not going to say what it was, as it's to weird, yet it includes nothing sexual or anything like that as this is the internet, and people can be very dumb. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

30 minutes meditation: Noticed the very strong contraction held from yesterday, and more of the "stored pain" of universe has been testing me, in that sense, just accumulated karma, and whatever and got very close to dinsentangle that held pain, samskahras etc to unknot these emotional grooves, these are the biggest limitor to my capacity to act & think freely. Positive emotions all enhnace acting & thinking more freely.
 

• I am grateful to feel more positive emotions after this meditation session
• I am grateful for the company giving me a huge opportunity to build a 6 figure + career
• I am thankful to get into the samskahars/kriyas and held pains and mini-traums, (I find trauma is such a big word at times) and digest it
• I am am grateful to find depth of awareness and masculine strength in meditation deeper than any exercise
• I am grateful for the insight with arms
• Generally I am very thankful for attractive girls beign into me and the model girl, also girls who can trust my dark masculine side
• I am grateful for early morning coffee & to not masturbate and use that energy more creatively
• I am thankful I can experience life itself, I am thankful for the new friends which names I am not going to mention, and I would appreciate it if they would give me some more masculine feedback at times, to get used to this. I was fed up with friends not implementing mine, they felt broken it was to hard for them, and they just played around, but gave me feedback which at one point was their own lack of effort about their own lives etc. I am thankful for not experiencing this anymore, weak, pathetic bullies, bullying me.
   

This is also a trigger, ideally I do another 30 minute session later and shadow work tomorrow or today. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I think a general issue with the forum is not using sexual energy creatively and doing some level of austerity, that seems more normal. Curious if the psychedlics will arrive today. Somehow it does not update, yet they said they've sent it I legit wonder if they confiscated it last time it arrived so fast over the weekend. Well happens stuff is getting more and more liberal. 

I dunno somehow they take forever, I certainly noticed academically I've been unable to face the fear of overcoming bigger obstacles, due to just the "racial story" of stuff which seriously diminishes performance, and it's amplified at times via the internet etc. and scientific rational people can be if they are not high green one of the worst offenders, as this and the issue with high green is they lay the bar higher, as to not leave the higher ones out and push the lower ones cognitive effort etc. Which can work, yet often it's not as clear anyway. I am working today, so I am out for now.

The point for me is simply due to all the level of critique that you get as a "minority" and even that perception is toxic imo, as it's more levels of development. It's an emotional rollercoaster at times, and to let go of that story it's only possible with meditation, yoga & psychdelics and shadow work nothing else works. 

Also working the issue of power with very very white societal based people often comes up, so even if they are egaliterian at the expert & achiever levels they become unrealistic & discriminating in constructive and deconstructive ways, especially people from eastern europe can be very bad at this. Most normal seem to be northerners etc.

I would like to live in America just to get a better picture of the spiral there, Germany has some rational scientific issues with race and skin color, were young ones are doing better marketing, yet it's all sort of stuck at the achiever level mostly. I dunno it has become better, yet generally speaking many see science still has the highest etc. Also yeah connecting deeper spiritually should give me more opportunities to make and be succesful, as I saw this with the book leo recommended from the early 20 Jahrhundert. The science of sucess and how it's tied to god & feeling. Creation -> Expansions out of these contractive held forces and coagulations of fear is the biggest breakthrough to success I found out on my own. All issues boil down to this, a deeper connection to the highes realizations possible you die before you die bascially facing this. 

 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Stage orange conceptiuon generally speaking of beauty is quiet racist, I feel like working with her, I get triggered to some aspects as to direct architecture of work, yet it's all very insightful, I also seek out confrontation, as she is inept in seeing bigger and larger ideas. My boss is sort of an o.g, she is very low at stage blue, it's also interesting that many stage blue girls with higher cognitive and moral level in a countries like eastern europe (besides "maybe" croatia) are interested in the stage blue/orange conception of black guys and men, and can't deal well with the "warfare" of multiculturalism, as it takes more cognitively demanding work, yet the projects are more creative, so they are lazy power abusers by value selction. 

It's a very low and nasty form of leadership she does not see that most professors act from way higher values at yellow/green mostly minimum, just shows me how bad of a level of development baveria is and can be, due to their brutish nature. That is why arrogance is formed from many at orange and higher, yet she clearly functions at a stage blue perception, at times very low. My boss is extremely good, yet I will just do shadow work with this person, as she identifies as girl = certain expectations, yet what triggers me is the instant grasping for power in men, as providers and she basically is a "whooore" (in deida terms) for recreation, yet has no love, it's worse than my mother in a sense, she has less love, and men are expected nowadays to have more love and be integrated, while many girls are not as developed as they are, they just associate masculinity with work and benefit from the infrastructure of communication and their biology of information processing in a process oriented -> do system, as many men don't function that way biologically, and it's a very strong either or without context-sensetivity thinking, both men notice they both have a higher yellow value, I think Deida is wrong it's just that many men especially in european IT, not American IT have more yellow charactersitcs and hence are memed. 

This is why I presume silicon valley to some extend and new york IT is more yellow/green, due to multiculturalism and simply more developed people beign drawn to higher things, I would say generally speaking like find me a stage yellow UPS driver. I don't think that really exist, if you catch my drift in that sense. 

These girls are legit the street dogs of white street dogs that exist, logical/rational street dogs, doing a-z. Like it's incredible how non-nuanced and disinterested these girls are in consciouness. They just advocate everything that seems "good" like stage blue people. Anyway, it's odd I won't be lead by a person like this, yet it's an issue as she has more information, yet is in this tech neutrality zone, yet has a feminine core bias due to beign eastern, and you have to play on the value of beauty and simplicity, otherwise she will not smile and feel love, as many girls experience that holistically there as part of culture, and many succumb to this notion of entertainment there also. It's a waste of creative potential in a sense, if it's in this decadent culture I dunno. Not easy to describe but yeah here I go. New person to do shadow work with, as it's within the responsibility of architecture. Also these people have very bad origin stories she never questioned her identity as a girls, from THE TOP tech university of our country, I am legit ashamed to see this. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I dunno how to go about this. Yet it is what it is, these people are the corrupt of the corrupt, and they will never admitt it, she must've had some bad experiences, I don't attract girls like this usually, it's usually some high affection to beauty also, like beauty experienced as kathartic experience. Some yearn to be that katharthis, that is the recent shadow I attracted, as I was the same thing for men in a sense, yet that has shifted. Eh, yeah, so for now it's more important than ever to work on these material and status things, I never thought that material investments could help with karma, yet she does not comprehend black culture at all, like it's insane how much dumb shit girls say, and how well-rounded many guys are. I dunno where Deida has his information from, the main issue is the reproduction and biological arguments of stuff imo. As well as not even the apprecation of spiritual stuff and psychedelics, I presume my boss is badass and cool, do to just knowing how dumb and stupid humans can be, and not having had the best path possibly. 

That is the issue of beign a good leader in a sense, beign to soft and to strong and finding balance, for me finding balance is often engaging in the drama of it and not. I also feel I never penetrated the world as deeply as I could as this coincides with love-making due to having high standards and I was closer and closer in getting it. Now it's very odd to deal with this spectrum, and I see maintaing sexual energy, and working with that energy gives me that courage and edge, even if things get dramatic and confrontational we get more of what is done, people will make a stereotype out of this, as they are racist power abusers, it's very evident and toxic, that this is a european eastern issue. Very very evident. 

Southern people are more into the decadence of abuse, like stupid parties and sexual overaggresion etc. With the turkish guy in the company also the more German polish girl, none of this occures, as they value love more and not this merit hoe power, I have more access to dark feminity than her, that is an irony, if it really would come down to it, I would most likely outwork and outpace her, as much as I can to not deal with her in a sense, and get more "status as a girl and shit" to get competitors of, this is female behaviour in very simple terms imo. 

Also pragmatically people are spiritually dead. Cretative people will always have a spiritual spark, I am convinced of this, and people who enjoy beauty no matter how evil will have some entry experiences no matter what. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Apparently DHL made a mistake, so the seller contacted me as 1D-LSD is currently legal, and it will be sent eventually today & they are resolving the issue. Anyway, had the meetings, and all in all it's still like odd to contemplate the diversity issues and these meeting and public presence is definitely neccessary, otherwise it's like a huge issue, and a lot of islamic and muslime people are subvertively including blacks at times, quiet discriminatory because of cultural grasping for power, it's very evident in people who "must" identifiy with their culture and not accept it as a part of themselves. It's a part not the whole of your,I, me mine existence. It's odd how much responsibility humans would give me if I had the skills and ideas and ressources, there is a deep level of trust somehow. 

The point is seeing failure as a learning step stone and embracing it a bit more. I stressed myself with this a lot and sometimes it's difficult for me to appreciate how fast & slow I am, as I know what it takes, but does it make me happy? No, do I enjoy the breakthrough yes!! So it's a weird give and take and the more spiritual my purpose is, the more I feel I can get into creating stuff. 

The issue of concretness = materalism at times, is also a subtle point for me to contemplate. I might just do the shadow work right now, and especially the emotion of hatred as a motivation, as they recommend this even in mastery etc. It's like loving your problems and proper self-love is here also important, I just sort of miss having a proper relationship to my father, to this all "tool play love" oriented relationship men can have to the world. For me it's often that concretness not experienced at a level of depth where I know, yes I find freedom in that skill, activity etc. and through this freedom more love. 

Many work for survival I had the luxury to never be in that place, as I would most likely end-up ending myself in some process, the grindstone mentality is also completely over for now, it's just an issue, especially when I don't trip and seeking challenges instead of competition for example and being a creator etc. It's crazy what expectations people have of white people, and it's fking difficult I bet to find a normal and even healthy black community of people at some places, as this is very nuturing I notice for all and many, as you get more power somehow??????? LIKE WHY DOES ALL THIS MARKETING EVEN EXIST AND WITHOUT IT PEOPLE DO IT?! Like it's odd realizing this. 

It's just good, yet realizing business is still business is one of the thoughest things as it requires ruthlesness and it's rough very very rough, also just generating efficiency is rough in itself, and that is all and everything software will ever run on no matter how beautiful, complex. People will value efficiency very strongly, and our idea is realistic in the sense of just finding the best suggesting I like it, as we help potentially the unseen ones with good ideas to shine bright? It's odd right? How that stuff has to be faciliated by A.I but who will control the A.I at one point? I dunno, it will not be humans, and I'd say that is good. Humans are by far one power hungry ape's. 

Also the level of hatred in competition like, I have never been like this, yet through integration of more of my dark qualities, I've created this competitive persona etc. Yet i's all a constant search for release and freedom etc. Be it in chess, mathematics, medtiation even psychdelics etc. All of this is very meaningful I stopped "creating" meaning as I was more searching for freedom and especially the meaning of freedom in the emotion of the release of freedom etc. Also very very deep consciouness states send the body back at one point yearning for that level of depth in experience. Some also have more an attraction to beauty and art,  Idunno. 

Uhm... yeah so far it's also an issue working with this moderate conservative girl a bit, yet all she wants is children and caring, some women enjoy beauty so much they would even work to enjoy masculine beauty nowadays that freedom experience and the joy and relase of that and even raise children and find a balance in this, not this I stay at home and clean the dishes and be an emotional drama thing, as I am not meeting needs etc. That I see with single girls at times. 

Some more conscious white men, also notice that having more black and a stronger black community serves all people well. But, yeah till now it's weird to realize, what is my gift that I can bring to the world even knowing my strengths, it's tricky some young people due to the media are very toxic, especially about the racist topic and history of black ppl and sexuality and sexual prowess, it's extremely evident how jealousy and envy drove this at times. 

Uhm, yeah I dunno so far it is odd. The point is I can't dig into full turqouise LC's self-sacrifice for the company and people as I would feel guilty and abusive, yet it's very odd how this will go. Yeah I dunno, I wish I had more of this depth of awareness and this is what they fundamentally trust. All of this vision marketing and depth is right on point, especially if others have it also. Anyway.... that is it right now.... finding the love for freedom of release in skill is new, also this gym type of shit is so envlasing I can't listen to this b.s. Anyway right now it is just what it is. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

This is what I am currently looking at. Truth and honesty, are still two values I had honesty as a value instead of truth as I got more honest depth out of this, truth is so fking toxic imo. I would frame it even as a toxic value. It's odd. I had honesty as a value for most of the time

[ValiantSalvatore]

I lost a bit of the joy of working on personal projects as it's so much technical stuff you can get into even coding the pet projects out of books etc. By far has been the most enjoyable as it's offline without any pressure even like an online-course to put it into your resume etc. So I dunno you loose a lot of free time working on personal projects. Many don't do it at all, and it's also very competitive in the tech world. I dunno when I trust my deep intuition, and connect more to the feeling of life, I would be willing to learn more of the fundamentals, yet so far so good. 

What triggers me is not creating certainty anymore, as if been gaslit through video gaming and shamed in that aspect I feel it deep at the core/heart level, as it can be a practice area, yet people get so angry they would notice when you truely honed it and when you faked it, almost no matter what the issue is. So I dunno deep down it's like. If I sit down and meditate now for 1h and hone my skills, instead of 30 minutes I know I am truely fking happy, as I honed at the things I am deeply yearning to integrate at one level, the point of "reaching perfection" is the issue, perfection just happens. It's very odd to describe and can be practice, yet it's always an ideal. 

Right now I feel as though, my boss as a very good impression and sort of sees, why I am angry at times, and I am thankful for his genuient side, he keeps making references to video games like far cry 6 or so and is 50 years old etc. As it's an action movie/game like an adventure and can be enjoyable thing to do while you're with your girlfriend etc. My best friend does this also, and having fantasy stuff is just the killer of depth & fun mostly, as it's also a very good point etc.

I do have a very good gut feeling with the girl the issue is she works to much (?) and trains he skill in that area, i can't use my body that well, yet mind has to be a priority & spirit. I can still use my body very well, just not at the western strength concept anymore. More physical yogic type of thing. Anyhow I feel a very deep trigger in me, and I buy some beer today, to extinguish some level of lust. Just honing stuff without letting loose is insane imo, and exercise killed that lust at that level. Tomorrow is gym day, but 1-2 beer won't kill stuff. My biggest fear is creating certainties in life, due to cultural fear based influences like this and father beign not there that much. So, it's odd. I miss the depth creating part of like good dark masculine work ethic... I dunno how to describe and just getting into fear. I also dunno the music of techno helps me to get deeply in touch with fear in me and terror I've held and use it more consciously, the point is doing all of this without music, as it happens then more naturally with meditation. 

I am a bit pissy that the LSD stuff did not arrive and the feeling of beign impatient is also an issue. Anyhow, right now it's odd. Very odd, I would really like to speak to some highly well-rounded men about certain topics, especially the topic of self-entertainment money and consciouness. Especially if they practice meditation and go on retreats, the more average pragmatic folk I am not as interested, as I know the answer etc. Also many men seek more social fun, so I dunno. It's an odd balance to contemplate. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I feel better in a cooperate structure, where some of my ideas have been tested by inventive folk who moved on, to the next higher invention of ideas etc. As they might just got themselves that technical know-how, that LEVEL OF DEPTH; IS WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR VERY VERY DEEP DOWN. 

There are a couple of things I would love to improve as a human:

• Hand-eye coordination for video games
• Abillity to see colors
• IQ -> I would love to see how it feels to have an IQ at 160+ high hand-eye coordination
• Abillity to process information 
• Creating states of higher emotions & acting from pure consciouness
  • All in all I miss these improving aspects, reading just massively improves memory, yet it's counter-intutive to test taker type of people who don't problem solve, I learned to problem solve as I had to do stuff from scratch, that is like the main difference betwen "learning a system from a-z" and conquering the jungle from W to A.
  • So I dunno at times. 

BRUH I NEED A GUITAR I WOULD PLAY RIGHT-NOW FOR 1h or 2 that would already be cool, and if I am stupid I do a 3-4h session I dunno. All of this is incrweased byw the wusical winstrument. 

Would also be fun, as a side-hobby besides coding etc. Chess is currently to dry... it has become more fun with engine analyse as you intuit the higher thing, yet I sometimes also find it lame etc. Yet this was the most fun part definitely. 

Anyhow right now it's just odd, to sort of get of the idea of the grind, and apprecating life as pure experience of consciouness, and giving your deepst gift, which is present of depth awareness no matter what your strength are that present of depth of awareness is the gift that gushes through ones strength and even weaknesses, to have present of depth in a weakness is strenght hidding in weakness. Like the principles out of daoism etc. 

Anyhow. That is it for now. 
 

Edited September 22, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Also both of my current more availabel friends are intersted in musical instruments and one guy even Dj'ed. 

Also, finally they prepped the stuff. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I also don't really know the world for people who fully grew up with a father or a heavily more male dominated interest, like owning a car and such. I saw one car today I would purchase as I found it manly, practical and interesting technologically, just as a way of procedual advancement and "avant-garde" without beign to toxic and beign sexy as a car. I did not take a picture I presume it would cost 70k, it's odd contemplating stuff like this. As you see many classical cars where it just screams "did not plan just bought" it's odd sometimes. 

I dunno would be intersting to go clubbing in a more male dominated area, like new york by type of energy etc. Anyhow it's weird as I had every opportunity, yet was more interested in fundamnetal changes of living etc. I dunno, I also will have new contact etc. It all depends what skills I can acquire etc. Right now it's just weird to experience all of this. As I still even when it comes to video games, chess, sports etc. A deep fear of skill gaining due to absolute deconstruction in that way and having a fatal injury or whatever some level of fear holds me back from really going balls to the well. Could simply also be social shame and guilt. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I also dunno how it is for people in America for example when they are in their young 20's what ppl even acquire I dunno, it was not easy to find deep joy in creation as I never received love as a supportive emotion as well as masculine compassion, just improvement bitchyness besides from my grandma a little, I dunno it's odd. I am drinking also my first beer. 

I will stick a bit closer to the new friend also, and re-listen to Deida often I just don't know how else to integrate these messages, I would've enjoyed it more beign a bit closer and the tech scene here is perfectly fine, I coud live here and move to DD or Essen, I don't enjoy this city. It's to "rural" and company also offers bigger cities to move to in Sweden, Switzerland etc. So I could eventually move there etc, especially Sweden and Switzerland would work, as their english I bet on average is extremely high and I speak German, so there are less issues. Leo is also correct with the lazyness of people, it's odd realizing this. Most don't have passion and I noticed passion is more tied to lust, yet on average I experiene different emotions like joy more than passion in that sense.... so it's not easy as I think joy is higher than passion, as an emotion if you can streamline the emotion forever, yet that is just me. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I wish at times I could solve the issue of human emotions more, yet ever since I was injured there is a subtle stress to my nervous system that is new, that even in a video game I can't push myself, I know consciouness does not relate to this, yet this stress is hindering consciouness development, as for me this was all mostly interesting to experience consciouness, yet very negative sensations hinder deep consciouness if you don't have that level of depth trained normally, and it's odd. Anyhow.... there is a serious lack of passion, that is somehow only stilled by very very deep restful states. When things turn to much of a problem I shut off. 

The LSD stuff will arrive, I would like to move to a region where more conscious people are, where they on average just practice more etc. I dunno I don't find it easy to keep going under the strong motivator for many of the materalistic paradigm, I don't have these strong inclinations anymore, for many it's their god unadmittingly and admittingly. 

I dunno I am having some issues with the university login, so I dunno what is happening and they are all sick apparently or on vacation.... it's a bit annoying, yet I hope I can find my login etc. I dunno just doing all of these order things etc. I don't know if I snap and kill myself. I don't enjoy life in a totally ordered fashion. It reminds me of the ladder towards materalism etc. It would be more enjoyable with proper more modern facillity this reminds me emotionally to much of my old house that we sold. I dunno. Don't know how to work on things and the issue of the detail etc.

I dunno at one level I would love if I could get to some point where existence is not this computer science I am thin and normal type of b.s I don't enjoy it at times. I dunno, to see cities that are also that uninspiring by infastructure.... I dunno.... I would love to see the emptiness of space physically more.... 

Not sure how to describe all of this. Also to make some things clear, I dunno why the new post seems ranty/venti. The I hate you comment was funny, that is generally the level of b.s you get in europe at a somewhat normal & non-toxic/toxic level. America is for me a naive child of a country still. Arrogant horses standing to high at times. I dunno. I don't know how to enjoy normal life anymore, when I see all of the organisational effort, I barely find a girl that is thankful for this, so many girls take this for granted and I don't have as many guy friends, as they simply say thank you more often, then taking leading for granted in a sense etc. I dunno what to feel anymore. I barely enjoy any intellectual discussion, besides Huberman Lab, Fridman at times, and Huberman Lab I dunno just listening to him calms me etc.and I enjoy the relationships he has with other scientist. 

Anyhow the issue is stuff is so repeitive I need a 8mill city or smth. I have no fking idea otherwise. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Feeling weird. I dunno how to overcome the feelings of past guilt at times, besides with daily meditation the deeper and older the pattern the more pain, depressive thoughts and death wishes in any kind are created. I don't know at times, why or how. But for now it's just weird I don't enjoy the feeling of chasing and the feeling of striving is currently not so much there. I wish at times I had more support from my father mostly as he'd be more loving with supporting my hobbies. 

I don't know, what I can listen to currently in terms of just having more depth of awareness. The depth of awareness is also a point, where I am unsure. Maybe I am wrong and I Just don't know. The issue of depth of awareness in competition/creation to experience freedom. Long hours to solve problems. I dunno. 

I just know I would love to do something where I feel a bit more flow. Otherwise, well I dunno, I'd be more interested in. I don't have the same turn of interest and the pain of anger and frustration can get to me. Even the most patient and loving person I've meet succumb to anger at times. I wonder how different my life would be. Yet all in all I really long to be back at the point where I felt conscious awareness and loving energy around my hands, especially when I meditated so much love/consciousness as subtle energy was there. 

It was like an aura just not like you'd describe it in this new age b.s, just mostly that energy of feeling sounded my hands, when I meditated for 1h and I felt like I had a little blessing?

But right now it's mostly just having the disciplne to get back to this if it's on I am on point with stuff. Till I clean my Appartement and stuff and engage the world, penetrating the world is the biggest guilt trip as I've been gaslit for years in this area by my family and friends family and friend friends family etc. You won't change the world bla bla all of this talk. 

I am sleeping anyhow...

[ValiantSalvatore]

Watching this

[ValiantSalvatore]

Surprised like how he tied this to the spiritual stuff, and this was more of the connection I was looking for Leo makes it sound so extrem at times, as it must also be one of his core drives, yet the ridiculing of it, from others and from him of spirituality can at times be a huge issue for him imo. It can get to someone, especially if they use consciously the TIER 2&3 drives of stage orange to go after spirituality, then letting go of that etc.

Also there is a subtle point of "fathers going crazy in the love of jesus" when they are bound to only a christian faith, without an integral community or a fortunate TIER2 or high TIER1 spiritual community of christian most likely protestan even... you can clearly see that he must've had some spiritually deep experiences, and how far-off to western minds the eastern philosophies of a living reality is as a living reality of meaning etc. Especially family austerity when I see it for example, easternes lead the kids mostly in a more ethical, yet freedom oriented way like good westerners combine this. 

It's interesting, as I see my friend might fall into this trap, as he found the spiritual connection learning and now it's business money & status like a regress from Green to orange. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

https://homepracticeprogram.com/2023-october 

Hopefully I can do this. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

53 minutes of meditation, before it get's to deep, I already sweet and smell like fking cannabis, I don't know why this is so heavy after meditation or if this is some physio-local stuff, due to having smoking cannabis etc. Even during my exercises and I went running today I don't smell like this. 

Loco-Physicolon -> Progress Turned Holon ?, don't call me a rapper. 

Noticed the heavy abundance paradigm, in the expansion nature when I focused only on expansion & contraction flow~
Very psycho-dynamic meditation, like I said I smell like fking cannabis and I don't know why, even exercise does not do it that intensively

I am grateful for feeling a very strong connection to the upside of "black culture contemporary hip-hop, psycho-rap etc" and spiritual connection (odd, but okay)
I am thankful for feeling my playful side
I am grateful for me two boses both beign empathic and intutive engineers
I am grateful for empathic and intuitive humans 
I am grateful for the arabic and turkish connection, yet I would intentionally appreciate getting away from the hatred and anti-love stances within those groups and connections
I am grateful seeing more black folk in the gym in the morning was kinda weird, but okay

 

Edited September 23, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]