Self-Actualization Journal - Moving Towards Depth

[ValiantSalvatore]

Also many who were born like this don'T really enjoy the idenity stuff I had a weird dream today about s1 who also grew up without a father, yet they had more contact. It's not so cool to notice this, the dream was weird. It was about some girl also at one point that was into me, and then we went into some train station to another German city, yet it was super rusitcal and modern, we arrived at the station and it was more like a hotel with a pool like at a 5 star hotel and we went into the pool, then some 9w8 type of girl approached me way to aggressively where I had these meritocracy thoughts, yet she acts it out in a dominante and tamed way, while the other girl who was first into me was a fun brat, and cheeky somehow more adultish, yet IDK. 

My friend took on full responsibility even though he did not like her and sort of just took her and went with it. While I rejected the other girl as it felt like exact hell in that moment, and somehow I went to an older dream backwards.... I don't like backwards dreaming... remembering dreams in dreams is not cool, it's a regressive sign imo... besides if used for proper refelction this happens I don't have full recall. 

Also the pool was outside of the tran station like right below it. That was so amazing to see.

Edited September 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

It's also an issue looking at my scar it's like seeing a direct manifestation of the issue of this excessive meriotacracy and wealth culture, neglect of health inherited then by the child, yet physically my mother will deny this possibility till the end of her life, she can't admitt it it's to painful to realize what a fking asshole she is. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Had a couple of negative thoughts & generally speaking I notice I just do better accepting some stuff, I noticed how hard the gaslighting has been, especially as an HSP person, as at times I can only trust my emotions & very logical & rational people gaslight more than they think they do, and then excuse themselve with very good memory, the point is when you legit argue with them for hours, they admitt their flaws and actually remember their toxicity, then the apologize and move on, yet they should at one level pay for the damage they did, I felt it today when I read the gaslighting sentences in German, how often some stuff has been said to me on a felt level. 

I noticed a better way to dealing with this, analyzing all of these pattern and diminsh the return of people who are beign toxic and using techniques like saying you're all in your head etc. While I am fully present dealing with emotional pain, they just pick patterns of where they can not be toxic to appear good, this is very nasty of some low level type people, who think they are actually conscious. I notice interacting with some members left me no good, as they act like my mother and are gaslighters and manipulators and can't deal with that image, Nr.1 things they do is denial and appear good. Wolfs in sheep clothing mostly. I am way to aggressive to be like this & straight forward, fuck you usually means fuck you and not I love you I want you back. That does not happen with me, this is also why logical people usually appreciate me, yet I barely meet true logical people as you could air out a lot of things better, and just come faster to harmony, I went into some wu-wu stuff briefly and noticed my birth numbers are about balance & other stuff, my whole life has been a contradiction searching for mostly cutting edge solutions,mostly done through deep interconnections. Most dating coaches are pretty stupid like the dating culture generally speaking, this degeneracy also overtook me to some level. Often times people like these intutives and stop me right before I reach a goal or breakthrough as they don't know how to deal with me they are incompetent, the sensor people usually compeltely vanish and comeback and are surpirsed by what I did and then re-support, mostly only other INFJ's fully support the journey and the occasional ESTP, who just does not give a shit and ISTP also usually, for me idk why. The rest is pretty toxic in itself. 

Also ENFJ's and ISFJ's generally speaking don't do this, the others do it more ocassionally & I personally don't do it, my communication is generally speaking either to good so everyone just get's it or confusing and nobody can comprehend, as soon as it's good people become toxic, when I am confusing I feel more whole. The irony of this?

At least this is my experience. 

Edited September 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I dunno why, yet the most reoccuring things that happen when I study for things related to survival are thoughts about my mother and the conditioning surrounding her, and also the english language and schooling at times. I thought about the counseling from, my old psychologist and to message her, as I did not have the insight I have had from my mother now as she is extremely closed off, as a person she does not recognize her emotions and then apologizes and lashes out subtely and overtly, she is an extrem form of phlegmatic aggresive animal, it's funny at times, yet this hippo does serious damage & did it with this type of temperament. 

I feel a little better somehow. Due to just buying some stuff that might help, like chess subscription to keep the boredom at bay etc. and learn a little bit I was quiet the learning junky, yet I stopped. Due to the heavy type of gaslighting within friendships, only my best friend did not do this, he just comes from a deep place of love, other times we just seperate ways then and look for improvement. The asian friend I had from Vietnam was an extrem manipulator on one level, even if I still like & trust him, as he keeps his word like my mother, yet that does not really excuse the manipulation tactics for survial etc. That is why I don't like them.. at times...

[ValiantSalvatore]

I dunno what to make out of this family situation thing, I saw this also in my teens with a guy where is mother worked endlessly, and just gave him money, two actually they struggled extremely in school, there is also no real father time, and it's emotionally painful to me at times to be with girls, due to how much energy they can crave or how used I am to this, I don't have the most masculine guy friends currently, it's more a feature of this city also, it's family depression somehow. 

I thought about how, needy my mother is in terms of needing me and not providing, now again that she has a boyfriend I am left alone, yet how long it takes me to come to this realization and the subtle gaslighting etc. I don't know if I'll end up killing myself, it's a huge fear that I have due to how extrem my life has been. I did not find anyone who can seriously help me with this & good friendships are rare without sports and consistently working etc.... I don't know how to deal with the fact that I've never had smth. where I felt it was family besides when I was at the friend of my mothers house, I dunno if calling her helps etc. I just don't like to bother others also, I called the suicide hotline sometime ago, and it wanted to only make it worse to kill myself, I just don't enjoy it how little my family is able to partake in my life because they lack social skill are needy and have no empathy. 

I feel so devoid of emotions due to how negligent they acted when I was emotional and the gasligthing and the sub-current of victim mentality of "understanding" etc. I don't think my mother get's the connection of what it means to be in a family, not act like one. I've never seen a more egotistical asshole, in terms of beign negligent and caring. I dunno how to describe it, when I am conscious and meditating I can forgive her, yet it's absolute torment for me to go through this, as I cry and have minor breakdowns due to this, it is healing, yet it's painful to see her in other faces. Of negligent duty bound meritocracy whores, who shame you for merit. and applaud themselves in cynnical irony only to sip wine again, then beign in denial. This was every evening and she denies this, I don't know also, yet for me it was every evening. I had no joy interacting as I had to make so many comprimises you just know at one point caring about yourself does more good, and not engaging with the others need. 

It's also her if she get's cheated on, to some extend, if it happens more then once, she chooses the wrong partner, she chooses stage red drives over conscious higher level drives, as she lacks disciplien and is lazy. It's like a red/purple hell at times with girls. Or heaven. 

I don't exactly know what else to type here.... I feel so unreciprocated solving highly complex issues, beign gaslit about doing good in the world from my direct family and the ignorance of society, and how painful it is to see mostly how strongly other's get back into their families. Even when they are toxic they go back, as they know there is some strong familiarity bond, same goes for me, yet she does not get the connections of how she undermined my success, by her behaviour. Helpless stupid cow, behaviour, impatient and angry, projects every fault to others and blames others and denies this, cynnical and gloating character as that is the only depth this person every saw, shadows without end's in relationships, absolutely not present only in nature, feels like shit to be around her. Stubborn as fuck. What can I say about her? Of course there are positive qualities, yet it's like.... my aunt is even worse as she lashes out and would get violent, my whole German family has anger issues the same with the American most likely. She also has to trigger others etc. and gaslights with :"that was just a joke"  not respecting boundaries. It took her a long time to realize what asshole she was, and what she does only to have her freedom, I hope seriously at one point she just dies. My aunt hated my grandma and hoped that she died for pains, said this how often now would be in denial about this. 

They are all in denial about it. My grandma was the only one who had love to give, she might was a little rough at times, yet she at least had some level of love, the issue is German culture and heartlesness, the issue of strength in this culture and the war's. I really would like to be back with my old psychotherapist she really helped..., yet I feel as though I did stuff just wrong etc... 

I'll do a shadow work sessions right now around pride etc... how it helps. ...

[ValiantSalvatore]

3-2-1 shadow work:

It feels as though there is a deep pain for no one apprecating my work be it excellent and or genius level
It feels extremely enticing to do genius level or extremely excellent work that goes beyond what people can perceive as this is the only way I felt I received love and affection for working
It feels like shit at times to be black and it the working culture
It feels like there is a subtle stirring of unmeet needs in terms of love in family, friendship and relationships
It feels often like the only ones who can give me love and have love are the ones realizing there has been some trauma or serious issue
It feels like there is a strong surge of love for myself when I have it my mother takes it and keeps it for herself and is in denial, while it's female frenzy about having children, more like a lustful killjoy than actual love
It feels like there is a drive of death in all of this saboating my work, it's not depression it feels like an actual feeling of wanting to die
It feels like there is a connection to seeing beauty and beign addicted to beauty in a level as it's healing and having this vanity option as the only option for healing, as an alternative for love
It feels like only my image is loveable not me as a human
It feels like there is a deep existential vail to all the good memories as they are all associated with video games, most female psychotherapist do not understand this, they don't comprehend and get any logical connections, and especially logical and emotional connections a lot of boys & guys have, most psychotherapist do not, as they live extremely healthy and or are toxic to some level
It feels like there is  deep need for strong connections and bonds so I can find strenght in my work
It feels like my character and humour is cripled as it's to extreme for many mostly only very high iq people appreciating that level of darkness

This is enough I already have tears in my eyes, the point about death is the most serious for me, I miss the caring touch of a girl who loves me .... HA! Are you gay stupid? Yeah I greet you to. Are you okay? Or are you sabotaging myself emotionally to negate every success you'd also enjoy? HA! You're demise is all to me, I despise you! Dude you sound like some Marcel in my head.

In your head in your head, that's your new gaslighting term? Oh the level of glee to justify your existence just to have that little tiny rough feeling, you can'T edge this out in a challenge can't you? And be like everyone else? HAHA why should I? Dude you're so stupid it's incredible... yeah beign gaslit as a teen and kid, then diagnosed as gifted, as some stuff that barely has any research multiple things and rare cases, and you call me stupid? It's not like I am fat and just need to loose weight, because someone bombared and feed me with nasty images about health etc. and subtely shamed me, there is so much connection of stuff, I don't even know how to untangle this. Me neither and I don't care....

Good work shadow....! That's gaslighting!!! Bro you should totally open a schizophrenic comedy, show. Do you even know what that means and that everyones like everyone uses the term incorrectly? Do you know ChatGPT? Yes, you could get answers there instead of bothering me.... yet brooo.... sometimes I feel bad why do you want to kill yourself, you would even ruin my fun? How would you feel having no girlfriend, beign at a model level of looks that beign useless as a guy, unable to properly leverage it, having an IQ above 130, easily could be making 6 figures right now, choosing some conscious option to follow some guy on youtube, to get into all of this b.s, havign your grandma die, having an injury that negates most prolific things that you in recent years created, and was appreciated and loved for, having a heartless mother who get's cheated on, having a father that is absent tell you, I love you I love you, truely meaning it and you feel it, then he completley neglects you, not knowing now if it was real or not, the practical love that you don't feel, yet the intention that you feel? What do I do about this? Loosing all of your friends, people saying you've changed as you started to speak your mind, how much people love and enjoy you when you're conscious and can be truely there for them, neither like your mother nor like your father..., aunt or grandma.... how would that make you feel when everything is lost? Well... everything of this is in me, you just don't see it. 

What am I not seeing? The love that you're missing and the deep connection is in me.... not in them...I took it and I have it, as you could not take it anymore beign non-reciprocal, you felt how the world sucked it out of you, you blamed the world, blamed your existence etc. It's all your fault. I don't know how to take responsibilities for this, these patterns are quiet deep, and I don't exactly can pinpoint it the psychotherapist I got so angry at them steadily poking at my fahter, as I had more positive experiences, yet now I don't know anymore neither do I care, the guy never truely cared and as a father he is long dead, the pain of having these positive emotions is the most bothering to me, like time sucking cocksuckers who can't realize and appreciate the greatness of what I could do .... I feel so stiffled by just not working properly, I truely don'T know why all of this self-sabotage? Why because of love, I don't get the connection, how can love be so strong?? Why do I have so little of it and it still feels like more than 99.9% of others and why when I have it I feel like the world steals it? 

Yo... we would talk for hours about this, can you just not give yourself love more and take the pain, love till it hurts seriously hurts, and maybe even kill someone because of it, even if it'S you. *sigh*... the point of talking with you, makes me more sane. I dunno at least you're not a socialized dormat, to what I feel like this is the only thing my mother rewarded the fantasy of a single-mother = suicides for her children. It's disgusting how this ignorant good will is helplessness in her entire nature, she is not enough, she knew it and gave her best I applaud her for that I feel good about it. Yet this shadow session is to huge. I don't know exactly what I am incoperating, what is your gift? Staying in one topic, is such myopia work. I could buy a prosittue for this and tell her to jerk me off, that is how most psychotherapsit feel with their hogwash and "holism" would be fake anal sex I dunno. Go fuck them seriously, fuck psychotherpay and every bullshitter that opens HIS MOUTH YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT CLOSE IT.

Where is the aggression coming from triggered by feedback of guesswork? Oh, yes you guessed it. That is something you can co-operate.... you notice you also feel the most help and need for little things in life why is that? I don't know it just is that way.... because I received no love for this and it pains me how it feels like girls and women even take it from me by their sheer existence around me if they act like animals, if they are conscious I feel love, yet if they are more animal I feel death. 

That is an interesting connection... let's see.... uhm. Why do you feel like this animal/survival thing as death? Is it not a challenge, maybe a challenge of love? Did you ever see love as a challenge? Instead of pain and anger? Not really no, I never saw it as a challenge. Sounds more like some whack idea. Yet you get that all of these challenges and little things are part of the bigger picture of giving yourself love, you do get that? 

Yes, I get that, and I feel it. Thank you for saying it, yet what do I do with the video game thing... it has gotten so out of hands, that you barely enjoy interacting with other younger humans, especially turkish men, and arab men, it's like they can only think with their dick and their religion and their family maybe, a few a rational assholes, yet it's a few who are higher green that give you more of the good humour and connection based on this crazy culture.

Bro this is way to large to handle in one session, I give you your gifts.... notice the connections between animal type of materalism and your drive towards death, it's the utmost nasty isolation you can witness, also the connection about love and challenges, these challenges are part of a growth of self-love.... see that more often, if you take these two things away from this sesssion, oh and that 3'rd one keep away from fake coaches and gurus who neglect your self-inquriry process, they don't appreciate you, they take you as some scientific test study like the average nazi white male does. 

I am the one who does not see tiny challenges as an opportunity to love myself more
I am the one who does not see the connection between materalism, suicide and isolation
I am the one who does not see the death drive as a connection to extrem animalistic intentions => leave me alone and give me materal stuff
I am the one who is pissed and angry at the guesswork of others
I am the one who is not using mini-love to heal myself
I am the one not seeing the massive power of self-love and how it helps me deal with the family situation
----

This is it I can't take more out of this session it was way to much to get clarity in this I could work for decades on this, what I just uncovered. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

This is fundamentally it, I am out for now... I hope this fixed some stuff massively, I did so many sessions of this the recent years have been so turbulent I barely had some quiet time to get into this without triggering to much, I have full access each meditation session to deep samkharas etc. Another shadow that I have is the good hearted idiot compassion nature at times. I'd do better beign more heartless, when I engage with them, many of them just comeback, yet when they gaslite tell them immediately that is a new strategy to keep my word more with these types.

Also the shadow work about the internet thing, and some extroversion chararteristics of ENTP's is important. & ENFP'S etc. 

Edited September 13, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Masturbation and self-love could also be a topic for this even golden shadow etc. I dunno anymore how to help myself. idc.

[ValiantSalvatore]

I do have to say now matter how subtle I do get to some realizations, although I do have to say some people with their attitude seriously fked up and I still somehow need them, I don't know how to say this, yet they suck at supporting others extremely, as they are busy and just can't give love definition of an asshole.

They are such money hungry sults, and can't admitt it, I cursed my soul out this morning beign reminded to some of the stuff that was subtely all just put into duty and not character building for myself etc. I just don't enjoy it how shitty the level of parenting was that I received, and what a money hungry slut my mother is, and in denial about it, like an experience lusting whore. I fucking hate her at times. With this bitch/hoe attitude that I have from her and trigger based on meritocracy and showing off and subtle hypocritical stuff, with beauty and order and the whole German spectrum, and the Americanization of her. It's so digusting to feel all of this. I really crave meditation & her death, so I can fucking mourn and just let go of her b.s. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

I send voice mails 45 min in length and she does not reply anymore as long as she is happy she is one of the most ignorant fking whores I have ever meet, I wish some women were forbidden to have children because they are dumb, not educated enough and negligent and can't fking be in a relationship because of this. 

So often when I felt happy and joyful this gleeful piece of shit has to know and ruins most of the fun, it's such a piece of shit I don't know how to deal with the issue of even considering family, seeing it daily all around me. For me she is a low level slut at times and acts like a Tier 1 animal whores herself out to the next family, she does not care about her sons emotional well-beign she just does not comprehend how much she needs to change in order for it to work, and is unwilling to work on communication patterns, I just hope she dies and I have peace. 

I don't think she deserves to live, when I consider how fking nasty she treated her health and I have to bear this out, fucking whore. 

The more I admitt this hate the better my life becomes of ugly, fat controlling girls who don't even have merit to claim anything, she basically is a fucking slave and I hate her for beign and acting like one. To her relationships. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

What is worse than verbal aggression is emotional violence of fuck whores who gaslite and deserve to be executed, I swear to the lord if someone kills my mother I'd be happy for it. 

Heartless pragmatic swine, piece of shit devilish whore, laments laments, yet does not do, projects this onto others to cause the same effect and is in denial. What whore is this? You guessed it my mother.

I am so triggered by the emotional unavailabillity in times of needs, and ignorance I dunno how to deal with this fuck poltiics tbh, fuck humans who care about politics and never do it, fuck them all tbh. It's so fake, and enraging as if this is their only point of connection, inner peace just has more value than all of this senseless information. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Also everyone protects the girl always it's such a double standard I wish women would be punished for emotional violence, gaslighting etc. It's not many I just wish there would be a higher openess around this, it's so often they protected angel/queen/goodess while 100% are just random piece of shit like everyone else.

Also my mother is such a whore about special denial and makes this subtely about genetics and nationality it's so fking nasty. I hate her entire fking boomer generation just fucking diee offf.

[ValiantSalvatore]

This bitch is such a redneck refusing to speak even high german I wish someone would just fucking end this racist subtel piece of shit whore, it reminds me of so much context or cut her tongue out. 

Even if she is a good human pragmatically, she is emotionall the biggest asshole I have meet, she does not even know what an emotion is and is stubborn, and makes everything about ego, she can't see other as god or higher self etc. It's incredible when I do this with her, she just angry bitches about some topic to cry in some sort of cynnical glee relief, die asshole, yes you die. 

[ValiantSalvatore]

Called my mother was suprinsigly good, I talked with her due to how often I talked about success and what bothers me and even when I am toxic to others, as long as I am not toxic to her she is supportive. 

I ranted ray rayly about the racist type of turkish and arabic people here, and I hope at times they leave this country, I don't like a majority of them, they are absolutely sexist, toxic and my mother has similar concerns, it's one digusting pack of people, the individualism of America makes it worse to process this, as we are more collectivist. It's abohorrent to see this turkish/german stuff, it's one of the most low-brow and hateful type of groups and individuals I've meet. It's way worse than any black culture at least black culture is adaptable I see it so often, even when I have subtle hatred event there, I feel as though through this excessive cherishing of this turkish culture here, I am so fking scared of corruption as they are and act corruptly and deny it. It's digusting, I will move cities asap, this here is one digustign shit hole of a city. 

Family oritented nazies, who are in denial about how degenerative their culture has become.
Turkish assozial Andrew Tates, like Islam is one of the most hateful religions I've witnessed by people themselves. 

I dunno I feel a little sorry of typing this, yet many of them are extremely sexist especially, racist etc. and they attract a lot of girls through this way, it's similar to eastern europe type of PUA's I've seen in these groups. It's digusting, they are also at times pedophilic it's digusting bragging about fucking 17 year olds and shit like this. I don't know it's insane imo. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

The issue is a lot of them like me, I don't know how to deal with people I hate because of their worldviews, it's an extrem balancing act at times, if they would read what I write or say none of them would talk to me rightfully so, yet I still befriend many of them. As I know it's hopeless to deal with such rigid worldviews, and I can learn smth, yet at times it's to much. It's like the raw virgins of Andrew Tate get a torch and start burning & branding people in their own corrupt ways. I could've called my mother more often, at least I saw something I hate more, this type of worldview at red/purple. Is one of the most gang & tribal oriented b.s I've seen created in a state where you have more opportunity etc. There is nuance for sure, yet a lot of them are the most sterotypical boys you can find. No class, no character maybe some personality & that is it. Besides the ones with higher morals which is rare and they are from open religious backgrounds mostly or agnostic/atheistic etc. 

The point is I'd have to live so clean, in order to deal with this sensationalist type of sensory overload, or wear headphones. It's annoying to her dicks talking, like go to a club there at least it has use. I dunno I find this is below even ape behaviour it's not even worth giving it an animal name it's beneath insects at times imo. 

It's like their whole culture has daddy issues I dunno.  The irony of this group mentality:

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-are-daddy-issues#characteristics 

Most likely like every gang, I don't have these issues, I also don't seek reassurance I often seek emotional support for the distrubing mind I have at times etc. 

Today I thought every second at work spent is better than this shit cu** of a unviersity, I feel so many turkish people ruin the entire exerpience, it's worse way worse than anything I have seen. Thank god, there is censor mode. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I thought just today, I will know why I will stylish and professional clothes and not this whore branding etc. I'd rather wear suits in my free time, it's more efficient, than beign Femboy Tate style. I swear to the Lord if I'd be healthy I would whip the n****** with Judo and breaks his neck like Putin does with his foe's. I would call that move, Andrew BitchBoy 3000. As he would deny it would've happend only to uphold is macho attitude, sore fking looser. 

I forgot that projection is also normal and healthy.  Also so much of this dating culture is run on this islam/muslim negation and celebration of materalism like wtf is this shit, seeing poser afghan boy? With 3 rings on a fake car only to get pity from girls like wtf is wrong with all of them? I just wear suits man fuck this shit & highly stylish clothing like Hugo boss or smth. very plain etc. Fuck this b.s of fashion omfg.

I am so happy for techno music and video games I would not believe it any second wasted with these people is absolutely not worth any funken of my existence. I can't look them in the eyes at times. BUT YEAH BLAME AMERICA HÖHÖÖHÖHÖH.

When the semester starts it's not as bad, yet today at this time I know why people should not be walking around. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

It's so annoying at the gym, in my university etc. Only place where I do not meet the ones who are so fking toxic is at work. In my hometown 90% of turkish people are dope and cool, yet this shit here is excess incest genetics.

It has gotten worse as more of power like Andrew Tate, and they don't know shadow work, they don't know their stage blue/red fallacies etc.  Even fking stage brown etc. It's annoying and how nasty this value of truth is in them I could cringe I might legit change it to nature, any second in nature has more truth than truth the value itself can concoct, it's such bullshit all your fking psychdelics are sourced in nature SO SHUT UP!!!!

I fking hate truth as a value man, it's incredible what I would tell people in their face I can't even bear it. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

When I see these turkish people yes, the Matrix is real Andrew Tate made it real for you guys, you are so dumb. I have never talked to a single black person buying the b.s of Andrew Tate the irony of this and the projections are so digusting. 

0 freedom use corruption. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

Tbh this explains this latino hype and reggeaton movement, nobody likes the turkish stuff & arabic it's extremely culture and not multicultural i dunno. 

I dunno the only ones normal I've meet where from Iran, Iraq, Israel & some individuals idk. Imagine who long I've listend to these positive messages, in contrast to Andrew Tate. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[ValiantSalvatore]

I am going to crown myself as 8 dicked alien from the ancient hindu valley, in terms i meet Angel White 707. Feels good to hear this. To be a conscious creator is one of my main drives, of my vision. 

That is all I can say this turkish shit is going to far. There is no culture there, it's slavery of human labour, no creation of any kind. Enlsaved by Andrew Fate, dude this guys name is Andrew how fking DUMB ARE YOU MAN!????

I missed feeling this positive energy, and beign around people who are spiritual. All of this momentum that Leo & Ralph smart partially created went lost due the social disconnect. That I now have it's insane. I would love to create my own community, and act more with integrity, I don't know because I say some serious shit, if I should do it. Someone would just kill me at one point, still I crave to create a conscious community and not act this way, I would find ways to express myself, yet if it comes to it I would say it due to just having experienced so much racism, I would just give them a tabula rasa of my perspective etc. 

That we have have to talk about womens right's and equality just tells me and shows me damn I do have to wait as a black person and power is fking important. 

Edited September 14, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore