What to do about the modern dating situation?

[ValiantSalvatore]

I thought about this for a while and wrote a post and deleted it, but here I go with all of the immense pressure of modern dating for guys and girls and unrealistic standards. What can I do to meet a quality girl that is not interested the shallow way of relationships to give an example.

• I scrolled through Bumble and saw a girl from the city I am living in and she had a VM in her profile: "Hey I really hope you look good in a suite as I need you for attending weedings" with a super alluring voice. I could not believe it.

Then generally the tons of girls diving, motorcycling, on vacation, master's degree etc & the billions smoking, partying, half naked gym selfies & unrealistic bio descriptions about preferences etc.

There are a few gems out of 100 swipes or so at least 1 or 2 girls would fit a guy very well. I am just so perplexed as there are so many girls here I would date by looks, I don't believe the pool at times, yet it's evident online. So there is a huge incentive for me to invest, also as it's the most time efficient way to meet girls in theory. Then again when going out I meet a lot of interesting people, yet barely any girls as most of my friends are introverts and nerds, and it takes a tremendous amount of energy as a social introvert to be social and introverted. I convince them, invite them, make suggestions etc, yet I barely meet any girls that way. Joining the PUA group and game group did barely anything I saw how toxic most PUA's are for online-dating even if their advice works and they need some serious therapy, as they basically banned the whole group due to the heavy toxicity, yet if you get girls in a silver plater you know what makes them tick and what works more effectively. The issue is these groups besides for online-Dating are dead, no one goes out here and I would need to stick to one guy and consistently ask him, even if he is a gem. I genuinely hate being in the group, ironically this guy did everything perfect, the irony is he is to conscious for the average normies and PUA's, so I don't know if I should reach out to him and do game. 

I feel burnt out from doing so much socializing work and working in general, sometimes in utter vain to get my social needs meet. Yet, if I don't do it I even feel more burnt, I just notice my "samskaras/shadow" about hatred of humanity often as I am on my edge when I am executing. Also others generally like me often, besides if they are bitter perfectionists not being able to see perfection in imperfections.... (to paraphrase thick face black heart and leadership principles) . So I am socializing more & get better career opportunities, yet I don't really meet any girls that are of quality. I went to a yoga studio and this was the only place where I thought wow I don't get a hypercompetetive modern materialist and it was full of girls ratio like 30 girls to one guy approx, yet I left as I did not really have the time & money for this studio. Things changed and I have more money for it, yet it's a very inefficient spiritual practice still. Especially yin yoga as a guy... 

All dates I had were pretty conscious this year, yet many girls yearn to have this deep on the edge energy and it costs me so much energy to sustain this level of depth of being a "bad boy/masculine guy/lover/" etc. I lost a lot of drive due to injury, so often I either show what's still there without being needy and generally act more chill. A date I had two weeks ago I did not escalate, now wants me as a friend and socialization opportunity and vice-versa she offered it to me, which I thought was cool. 

But, still this was very random and many girls deleted me recently & my date last week did not show up for the first time and I was so angry for various reasons I could name. I still chilled it out and calmed down. Just left the scene, yet wasted money which I did not like. Generellally speaking I find most girls are super unsatisfied and are stoping to empower men many just grind it out faster and more efficient and I would lie if girls these days can't meet their basic needs more easily than ever. Good friendships are rarer though. I just don't know what I can do besides to look for parties and invite the current friends I have or to continue to build my life I am so dejected from never having a girlfriend and these unrealistic standards, I don't know what to do. Besides either to grind out and max out the stage orange way of getting laid online & offline or to be more authentic put even more work in and deal with the dejection and apathy that occured, when things don't turn out that well. 

Going to classes & like dancing & cooking is none of my interest and I don't enjoy it and I can't do some stuff due to injury. The best thing I could do is to go out with the PUA from time to time, build on my life as much as I can & career and networking options etc, continuously nuture the new friendships. I am doing all of that besides the PUA thing. I am so lost on what to do I'd love to go on a rave and even organise one I like to party also generally, yet none of my friends this has been an issue ever since. I don't meet people online either for this I thought about Bumble friends and eventually meeting friends for this that way, as most Germans I would meet daily do not have my music taste... I would need to go to classical events and the theater... & I am sick and tired of post-modern & modern culture currently. 

Any solutions to this besides to play the same game? Take great pictures & approaching girls and doing game? Anyone developed a social circle that attracted girls etc? Or generally did anyone solve the modern dating problem without burning and crashing & working ones ass off to create a lifestyle & vision that automatically gets you girls & fulfillment internally etc?

Sorry, for the many questions and any input is appreciated, as long as it's not troll &/or toxic.

Edited August 16, 2023 by ValiantSalvatore

[Phil King]

How many new girls have you approached in the past 3 months? 

31 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

I went to a yoga studio and this was the only place where I thought wow I don't get a hypercompetetive modern materialist and it was full of girls ratio like 30 girls to one guy approx

^^ In my experience yoga studios are the best for meeting hot, new age girls. 

 

33 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

I'd love to go on a rave and even organise one

^^ This is also a great option. The blueprint is really 1. Have a nice place that you can bring girls back to and ideally host parties/small get togethers. If you are the host of a good party, girls will be attracted to you like flys on ?. 2. Talk to hundreds of girls a month, demonstrate you are high value by being charismatic and confident, get contact info + instagram, then invite the hottest ones to a party ideally once a month. Invite some guys who will ideally also bring girls with them.

 

38 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

Anyone developed a social circle that attracted girls etc?

I did this last year, tho it was easier since I was in college

 

39 minutes ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

working ones ass off to create a lifestyle & vision that automatically gets you girls & fulfillment internally etc?

This is what Im currently working on. I was watching a livestream event that Owen Cook had a couple nights ago and he said that only doing cold approach is for losers and that the most effective way to get girls was to have an awesome life that you could invite them into. I know you said earlier in the post that you despised the materialism and unrealistic standards of modern women, but in reality the hottest girls have 100+ guys in their DM's offering to fly them on jets and take them on shopping sprees. Im not saying that you need to be a millionaire to get girls, but it certainly helps. Overall, I think its having a strong life purpose and vision for your life that will attract high quality women. From that vision, as you start to gain success actualizing it, youll start living more in abundance and you will naturally radiate confidence that will attract both men and women into your life.  

For online game this is the best guide I have come across https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide/

 

Sorry if this advice wasnt top tier, this is also an area of my life that I am working on

[ValiantSalvatore]

9 hours ago, Phil King said:

How many new girls have you approached in the past 3 months? 

I generally don't plan to approach till I moved and I am working full-time, as I can schedule it better to consistently rely on spotaneous bursts burns me out. The only way I meet girls is be organizing friends and online-dating and work/uni. I can on

9 hours ago, Phil King said:

^^ In my experience yoga studios are the best for meeting hot, new age girls. 

Yeah, this was the only place where I felt the girls were a tad more conscious and normal, even if new age a bit. Generally speaking people in Germany are not as delusional, the subtel materalism is worse & power hungryness.

9 hours ago, Phil King said:

^^ This is also a great option. The blueprint is really 1. Have a nice place that you can bring girls back to and ideally host parties/small get togethers. If you are the host of a good party, girls will be attracted to you like flys on ?. 2. Talk to hundreds of girls a month, demonstrate you are high value by being charismatic and confident, get contact info + instagram, then invite the hottest ones to a party ideally once a month. Invite some guys who will ideally also bring girls with them.

I have a decent place & a car. I even have a sauna, in my small appartement hosting small parties & stuff would be cool, yet most of my friends don't drink they just work and some some sort of hobby like every normie. I hosted some parties and I am very good at befriending hosts of home parties etc. besides if they are to power hungry, so I know how that usually works. I just don't meet anyone who hosts parties. 

The idea of inviting girls and getting contacts is ideal, the point is having good guy friends is almost as rare as being extremely good at game, it takes a lot of time and nuturing, even naturals I meet go out 2-3 times a week. The idea is very good I keep this in mind, as I generally get popularity bonuses everytime I meet people. The issue is most guys hope I bring the girls, yet I am in the same dilema, yet not as much anymore at least I know some contacts etc. now. 

9 hours ago, Phil King said:

I did this last year, tho it was easier since I was in college

I am still in uni&working part-time now, I just don't meet people who are into this in computer science, nobody goes to party and they care more about working & relaxing 99% of the time and their weird ideas.

9 hours ago, Phil King said:

This is what Im currently working on. I was watching a livestream event that Owen Cook had a couple nights ago and he said that only doing cold approach is for losers and that the most effective way to get girls was to have an awesome life that you could invite them into. I know you said earlier in the post that you despised the materialism and unrealistic standards of modern women, but in reality the hottest girls have 100+ guys in their DM's offering to fly them on jets and take them on shopping sprees. Im not saying that you need to be a millionaire to get girls, but it certainly helps. Overall, I think its having a strong life purpose and vision for your life that will attract high quality women. From that vision, as you start to gain success actualizing it, youll start living more in abundance and you will naturally radiate confidence that will attract both men and women into your life.  

For online game this is the best guide I have come across https://killyourinnerloser.com/tinder-guide/

 

Sorry if this advice wasnt top tier, this is also an area of my life that I am working on

No, you're advice most likely is top tier to some level, as it basically summarises a lot that I saw of people who are succesful with girls, the website I checked it out and implemented some advice, I can also only do so much, yet it's a good reminder as I have more money now, to at least upgrade style etc. Although I am looking more for internal solutions, I wrote the dude also about going out and doing game as he is very good & the groups are dead 90% of people moved to online imo, barely anyone talks about meeting girls offline etc. 

I've worked my ass partially off and went through dark periods to create the life I thought I like, what Owen Cook imo is correct about is that a connection to god&deep passion etc, you want to call it fixes 100% of problems. I struggle with this as I have extremely high standards most likely & generally speaking actualized.org at times did more harm than good, so I am dealing with this sh*t also. 

Thank you for your sharing a perspective & tipps. I'll hopefully remember to check-out the tinder-guide once I receive my paycheck & can go into this. I am doing so much restructuring consistently it's so fking exhausting. This only dating and modern dating shit and how weak men generally speaking are creates a lot of internal hatred. I'd wish the community of men would not be as toxic as it is. But it is how it is. 

I'll legit save money and most likely purchase some coaching the advice and toxicity is so fking bad and there are good programs relatively cheap. For example 30€ for some text game stuff etc. I generally found this to be of value and I might purchase his coaching if it is somewhat affordable. 
https://textgod.com/courses/

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqsl9qVhfuI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYmFAWvk0TU          

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twTrrGiRXtY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0ZpRcLjcmI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iLMhT__eg0A

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75FeP1Z_oXY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vns7rEL0LxM

https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-find-woman-you-most-want-10-step-process

https://www.girlschase.com/article/dating-rules/ghosting-part-2-why-people-ghost-and-how-not-get-ghosted

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwnZP1TPJic

https://www.girlschase.com/article/dating-rules/how-deal-women-who-flake-and-how-prevent-it

Edited August 16, 2023 by Raze

[ValiantSalvatore]

@Raze Thanks for the links I really have to consider multiple things and unresolved issues. That come up during meditation & stuff, it's really hard to notice these high consciouness patterns it's very difficult also to described and get lured into lunacy and some of this stuff I am not that interested in, yet popular culture advocates it. 

[Raze]

5 hours ago, ValiantSalvatore said:

@Raze Thanks for the links I really have to consider multiple things and unresolved issues. That come up during meditation & stuff, it's really hard to notice these high consciouness patterns it's very difficult also to described and get lured into lunacy and some of this stuff I am not that interested in, yet popular culture advocates it. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kDf_WSzj6Rw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DiAr3Hgbv60