It's Alright To Abandon Your Mom For Good

[Mesopotamian]

Moms traditionally hold a good placement in religions and tribes, and they call their love for their babies unconditional, however, moms being moms, they don't love unconditionally, and most often than not they're full of shit. 

Mother's agenda in general is to serve the purpose of continuation of human race, that's why their purpose doesn't only include raising their children, but also making sure that those children do the same, conceive of new babies again.

However mom's agendas rarely include teaching and supporting their sons and daughters for the purpose of making our world a better place. And for this, I would say, it's OK to detach from your love to your mother and abandon her for good. Don't fall into the trap of trying to convince her that you have a purpose and your purpose is to make the world a better place for everyone to live, and that this is what humanity is in desperate need today. You'd likely waste your life while doing so. 

My mom for example lacks any rationality, and if I would to try to open this topic with her, she would most likely ask me back like "Why can't children get married, have families, and then also make the world a better place? why can't they do both?" Of course my mother is full of shit, and she can't realize that those are different paths in life.

 

 

[Recursoinominado]

Yes, my mom is really toxic, narcisistic, maybe bordeline.

Took me years to finally be done with her, i am prone to forgiveness as i see her as someone who is a slave to her traumas.

BUT, had to decide to stay away for good because people like that are big trouble, especially when they lack awareness like her.

Gave up trying to save her.

Not the ideal situation but it is the best decision.

[integral]

The best thing you can do for her is not be a part of her life, how narcissist work is that you just existing as part of there live causes them to come up with negative ideas to project on to you.

If you didnt exist she wouldnt be able to generate does negative ideas and that benefits her lmao.

Most people are like this, just the fact that something exists in front of them causes them to project a dislike for it and creates suffering. There better off NOT SEEING IT. 

Edited August 14, 2023 by integral

[something_else]

Abandoning your parents from your life entirely is a very extreme move. Maintaining a healthy relationship with your family is very good for your stability and mental health.

If your mother is extremely toxic, narcissistic, or controlling then it's different of course and you should distance yourself.

16 hours ago, Mesopotamian said:

My mom for example lacks any rationality, and if I would to try to open this topic with her, she would most likely ask me back like "Why can't children get married, have families, and then also make the world a better place? why can't they do both?" Of course my mother is full of shit, and she can't realize that those are different paths in life.

She's not completely wrong, I certainly think calling her 'full of shit' for saying this is very extreme. Her perspective sounds quite balanced. Plenty of people change the world and have a family too, it just requires you to balance your life well.

To be clear I'm not saying that you should start a family, I'm just saying that your mum is not being especially irrational here and that my first impression of this sentence was that you were being a bit unfair on her. I don't know your exact situation, that's just my impression.

[Mesopotamian]

2 hours ago, something_else said:

 

To be clear I'm not saying that you should start a family, I'm just saying that your mum is not being especially irrational here and that my first impression of this sentence was that you were being a bit unfair on her. I don't know your exact situation, that's just my impression.

In extreme places like Iraq, where government gets you nothing, not even 24 hours electricity in a whether of 115 degrees, it becomes increasingly difficult just for you to have a good sleep on a daily basis, but maybe in countries where they provide services, it could be done. 

 

[caspex]

On 14/8/2023 at 11:34 PM, Mesopotamian said:

"Why can't children get married, have families, and then also make the world a better place? why can't they do both?" Of course my mother is full of shit, and she can't realize that those are different paths in life.

she do got a point though no? I am sure you can change the world with a family as well, it all depends on how you want to affect the world, and also on the quality of your partner and kids in how they may even aid in your life purpose. It's not too far fetched to think that you and your partner could have complimenting life purposes. Of course it's hard to find such a partner or raise such kids, and it takes a lot of time away from you, but maybe it has some benefits that outweigh the time invested? Have you really considered the other side as well?

[Mesopotamian]

On 8/19/2023 at 11:52 AM, Swarnim said:

she do got a point though no? I am sure you can change the world with a family as well, it all depends on how you want to affect the world, and also on the quality of your partner and kids in how they may even aid in your life purpose. It's not too far fetched to think that you and your partner could have complimenting life purposes. Of course it's hard to find such a partner or raise such kids, and it takes a lot of time away from you, but maybe it has some benefits that outweigh the time invested? Have you really considered the other side as well?

I feel if you would to contemplate your thoughts more, you will reach to a good place or get good answers. here are some questions to help: why would you specifically want to find a complimenting life purpose with your biological parents? 

Could it be that you want your mom to be proud of you at the end?

 

[caspex]

43 minutes ago, Mesopotamian said:

I feel if you would to contemplate your thoughts more, you will reach to a good place or get good answers. here are some questions to help: why would you specifically want to find a complimenting life purpose with your biological parents? 

Could it be that you want your mom to be proud of you at the end?

You mentioned in your original post how making the world a better place and getting married, having children, are two different paths. I was simply questioning that maybe these paths are not exclusive and you could be avoiding contemplating your mom's point by saying these paths are different.
I did not mention a need to find complimenting life purposes with your parents.