What Are The Various Ways In Which Someone ?

[Loreena]

List some of the ways in which someone can attack your self-esteem ? 

These may have been ways that you have come across somewhere in your past or even something you're dealing right now. 

One example that you can include in your list is bullying. 

[Arkandeus]

one of my vulnerabilities was my appearance, I used to think I was ugly.Nobody really attacked my self-esteem on that but I guess I was my own attacker. 
But people did use to shake me on one thing, not being very talkative. I'm not a talkative person, and that's not very ''normal'' in society, so people would point that out to me.6 years ago someone telling me I was silent would not only ruin my day but sent me right into an inner panic state where I felt completely rejected. A few months ago it would shake me, make me feel very uncomfortable and still rejected.

Nowadays I realize not only is it fine, being not very talkative is who I am, it's my uniqueness, I don't care about talking to anyone if I don't feel like it, I speak all the time just with my presence and vibration. 

 So you were bulied?

[Evilwave Heddy]

5 hours ago, Arkandeus said:

Nowadays I realize not only is it fine, being not very talkative is who I am, it's my uniqueness, I don't care about talking to anyone if I don't feel like it, I speak all the time just with my presence and vibration. 

I came to this conclusion very recently also.  But I found that not forcing myself to talk and not being self-conscious about it made me talk more and also easier.  There is still times though when I just go silent and people start asking if I'm okay.

[Spiral]

Have a soft spot for that verbal abuse, no specific subject though.

Harsh statements once or twice is fine, might even help you improve yourself. But if it's every day, it hurts especially since there is not really anything you can do about it.

Also i'm somewhat of a forgiving pacifist so i guess that does not really help either(unless it absolutely necessary)

[Nahm]

@Loreena You are a chair.   

[Loreena]

@Nahm that was a really good way of getting on my nerves. 

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

Gaslighting, trying to put someone down in subtle ways but habitually so it's harder to confront but gets more imprinted in your mind.

[Nahm]

@Loreena you are a tea pot.

[alyra]

I have often received harsh  bullying and negativity in the past, and knowing how bad it can be I still am adamant - 

 

 

the only bully that has ever been in my life who had any impact on me is myself. it is my thoughts that harmed my self esteem. I did not know until I learned the hard way, that it my thoughts alone that determine the impact of someone else's words. 

 

 

this became especially apparent when I noticed how often I read into things as mean, when they were not meant meanly at all! and all those times I spent days hiding in my room trying to run away from my own anxiety. the only thing worth fearing is your own mind's thoughts. 

[Robert66]

Try to list the ways your self esteem can't be attacked.  It is, after all, your reaction.

[Loreena]

@Robert66  Well sometimes it can be that someone is over reacting even at the slightest provocation. But everything is not reaction. We can surely control our reactions to things but we have to least identify behaviours before we can modify our reactions to them. If someone is actively trying to attack my self-esteem, I should be able to identify that behaviour and be able to label it and understand it better before I learn to react. 

[Robert66]

If your self esteem is intact and high, it is an inner fortress that none can breach.

[dude]

On 25-3-2017 at 1:08 PM, Evilwave Heddy said:

There is still times though when I just go silent and people start asking if I'm okay.

This is sooo true for me as well.

Any insecurity, for me it was not being intimate with girls. I never was intimate and it got to me at some point, also I still have to some point a generally low self-esteem. I always wonder how people can act like they got it all figured out when they really don't. I guess they just don't know.

@Robert66 I agree with you on this point. It's all just an inner game. I'm still working on manifesting it.

What helps for me is when I get triggered to just fully absorb it and watch carefully, try to uncover the beliefs that hold my insecurity in place.

[FindingPeace]

On 25/03/2017 at 3:18 AM, Loreena said:

List some of the ways in which someone can attack your self-esteem ?

This is an interesting question. Ultimately no one can harm your self-esteem unless you actually believe what they say. In which case it is you that is questioning it. Other people can't hurt you, they only draw your attention to what you already think or feel.

I find this question hard to answer. There are very few things that people can say to me that will affect my self-esteem as I understand that other people's judgments, criticism or opinions are purely their own subjective interpretation. They are not mine. And I know myself and feel confident enough in my own self that I don't inherently get affected by other people's comments. I will, however, consider how other people respond to me and look to see if there is any inherent 'truth' to their comments. Because sometimes, other people's perceptions can open our eyes to something that we don't necessarily see ourselves. But I analyse it carefully and don't just take it at face value.

I think for me it is not comments or opinions that affect me the most. It's how people connect and engage or invest in me, or not, that I find causes me to question and doubt myself the most. That has been one of my greatest insecurities.

[Phrae]

Are you stupid?

so easy right?

[Toby]

Theoretically it is not possible but actually one of the ways is this: by treating you as an object. Doesn't matter if this object is then treated negatively or positively though.