Childhood trauma, depression and 5meo

[shree]

Hi everyone,

 

As the title says I have some childhood traumas that I am currently working on with my Psychotherapist.

I had been living a good life the last few years and traces of trauma and depression were not present anymore.

 

After starting microdosing (Paul Stamets Protocol) many of these psychological conditions started coming on the surface once again. My suicidal thoughts, feelings of hopelessness came back.

My Psychotherapist has experience with LSD and mushrooms and is a very open-minded person.

She said I should first work on my traumas and depression because if I just go into this with my condition it could result in an awfully bad trip. She said she witnessed many people who ended up in a hospital for weeks after using psychedelics. (People with depression and unresolved traumas from the past.)

 

I do not care if I scream and suffer in agony for some short amount of time if that is going to help me to let some terrible things from my past go and I would stick 5meo in my ass in this moment if I would have at least some assurances that I will stay functional because I have a family that depends on me.

EDIT: I never did any psychedelics except microdosing fresh truffles.

I meditate daily, I watched every single Leo´s video and listened to hundreds of hours of Osho's discourses so I believe that open-mindedness will not be my problem, only this damn depression and unresolved childhood traumas.

 

What are your thoughts on this?

I would be so happy to see a comment from Leo  

Edited August 10, 2023 by shree
Forgot to say

[OBEler]

Your psychotherapist has a bias against psychedelics. Because She handle daily with people who come to her with a broken mind (some of them through psychedelic abuse),but the people who help themselves with psychedelics successsfully  she will not see, because a psychotherapist is mostly not needed anymore. 

Psychedelics are great tools for healing trauma. If you stick to low dose at beginning, it will be save as long as you have no schizophrenia or are deeply deluded or have a tendency to hurt yourself with Intention. 

 

5 meo dmt or malt low dose is a great choise. You will be not functional for 20 minutes as a beginner but after it's over, no problem. 

Truffles are not as effective as 5 meo but also a good tool for exploring childhood trauma. Raise your dose until you feel a level where you can work with. A normal dose is mostly needed

Edited August 10, 2023 by OBEler

[Yimpa]

5 hours ago, shree said:

I meditate daily, I watched every single Leo´s video and listened to hundreds of hours of Osho's discourses

That’s really impressive that you watched every single video of Leo’s. Including his blog videos? That’s a hell of an achievement right there. 

[shree]

9 hours ago, OBEler said:

Your psychotherapist has a bias against psychedelics. Because She handle daily with people who come to her with a broken mind (some of them through psychedelic abuse),but the people who help themselves with psychedelics successsfully  she will not see, because a psychotherapist is mostly not needed anymore. 

Psychedelics are great tools for healing trauma. If you stick to low dose at beginning, it will be save as long as you have no schizophrenia or are deeply deluded or have a tendency to hurt yourself with Intention. 

 

5 meo dmt or malt low dose is a great choise. You will be not functional for 20 minutes as a beginner but after it's over, no problem. 

Truffles are not as effective as 5 meo but also a good tool for exploring childhood trauma. Raise your dose until you feel a level where you can work with. A normal dose is mostly needed

Than you. It's really helpfull to read this.

[shree]

@Yimpa

 

I meant every YT video. Sorry if I triggered you.

Please do not spam further on my topic.  Thanks for considering my request.

Edited August 11, 2023 by shree

[LSD-Rumi]

@shree 5 meo is not the right substance for that work, it is really harsh if you have traumas or mental illness, and it will fuck your mind with spiritual insights rather help you heal traumas.

I noticed that the most appropriate substances to start with  are dissociatves (KETAMINE, PCP, PCE, DCK) they are very gentle and will fill you with love. Start with these and then move on to acid or mushrooms.

And yeah psychedelics if done inappropriately can harm you a lot. Don't take a big dose until you feel you can handle the trip.

 

Edited August 11, 2023 by LSD-Rumi

[OBEler]

@LSD-Rumi you need to differentiate between normal dose and low dose 5 meo. 

On low dose, 5 meo dmt can be very therapeutic and you can release stored energy. This is key. These emotional patterns need to be released. That can be harsh sometimes but you will feel lighter after. If he is ready to encounter these stored energys, 5 meo is one of the best tools here. 

Nothing will be smooth if you work with psychedelics, only these dissociate components like ketamin. But even there you can expect fear coming up. So dont choose the smoothest easiest psychedelic. Choose those which heals you the most, even if they are harsh. You will get over it if you dont take too much. 

Edited August 11, 2023 by OBEler

[Javfly33]

1 hour ago, LSD-Rumi said:

@shree 5 meo is not the right substance for that work, it is really harsh if you have traumas or mental illness, and it will fuck your mind with spiritual insights rather help you heal traumas.

I noticed that the most appropriate substances to start with  are dissociatves (KETAMINE, PCP, PCE, DCK) they are very gentle and will fill you with love. Start with these and then move on to acid or mushrooms.

And yeah psychedelics if done inappropriately can harm you a lot. Don't take a big dose until you feel you can handle the trip.

 

I found 5-MeO trips quite therapeutic in regards to trauma!

But I recommend the OP to try psilocybin/4-aco-dmt . By far the psychedelic that has most helped me @shree

[Leo Gura]

@shree No one can predict how you will react. Even from trip to trip your reactions could vary.

Yes, there is a chance that 5-MeO will open things up in your mind and force you to confront difficult existential material, including depression.

Any deep and serious trip can leave you depressed for a while because you are confronting life, death, love, etc.

[Greatnestwithin]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@shree No one can predict how you will react. Even from trip to trip your reactions could vary.

Yes, there is a chance that 5-MeO will open things up in your mind and force you to confront difficult existential material, including depression.

Any deep and serious trip can leave you depressed for a while because you are confronting life, death, love, etc.

@Leo Gura with your so many trips, have you seen a decrease of your ambition for material possessions such as money or items etc...?

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Greatnestwithin said:

@Leo Gura with your so many trips, have you seen a decrease of your ambition for material possessions such as money or items etc...?

It's hard to say because my desire for that waa already pretty low. Psychedelics have made me less motivated to do business and to work long hours.

Psychedelics tend to undermine meaning, so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

Edited August 11, 2023 by Leo Gura

[OBEler]

@Leo Gura in what terms? Is it because of brain chemistry like less dopamin or because these states you were in were so high that things we can archive as humans seem less profound or because you can look through your ego and see that this ego tries to create meaning where there is no meaning really so you dont perceive such a pressure anymore ? 

[Hello from Russia]

55 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

Did you think there is maybe new ways to fetch a meaning\purpose on life after that?

Maybe some coral (stage red on new more conscious turning) is ought to give some insight into that?

[Yimpa]

8 hours ago, LSD-Rumi said:

5 meo is not the right substance for that work, it is really harsh if you have traumas or mental illness, and it will fuck your mind with spiritual insights rather help you heal traumas.

It seems to have really helped this dude, even though he was on the verge of suicide prior to taking it.

 

[Yimpa]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

It's hard to say because my desire for that waa already pretty low. Psychedelics have made me less motivated to do business and to work long hours.

Psychedelics tend to undermine meaning, so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

1 hour ago, OBEler said:

in what terms? Is it because of brain chemistry like less dopamin or because these states you were in were so high that things we can archive as humans seem less profound or because you can look through your ego and see that this ego tries to create meaning where there is no meaning really so you dont perceive such a pressure anymore ? 

I’d say it’s realizing more and more that all meaning is imaginary, and all attempts to make reality better is an illusion. 

This may sound paradoxically depressing, but deeply understanding why we do anything to begin with starts to shed light on the matter.

If we are doing things for the purpose of survival and to reach some goal/achievement, yet God is eternally dreaming, then what does that say about meaning?

[Girzo]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Psychedelics tend to undermine meaning, so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

This is very true, and it is a long-lasting effect. So it's something one should be very aware of before embarking on a psychedelic journey.

[Leo Gura]

You can create other new meanings, however psychedelics can undermine meaning across the board, so you should be careful. You might undermine stuff that you will regret. Obviously this is a very personal matter. But undermining of meaning can be a painful and dysfunctional thing if done too hastily. You don't want to lose your passion for life. If you strip away all of life's meaning you will end up depressed with nothing to live for. This becomes more of a risk if you do a lot of psychedelics. So keep an eye out for that and dial if back if you are starting to lose too much meaning.

Edited August 11, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Sincerity]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Psychedelics tend to undermine meaning, so things that you used to find meaningful are not as meaningful any more.

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

You might undermine stuff that you don't really want undermined. Obviously this is a very personal matter. But undermining of meaning can be a painful and dysfunctional thing if done too hastily.

Can confirm, exactly what I've realized recently.

[OBEler]

@Sincerity can you elaborate? 

For me spirituality, exploring consciousness, developing my mind and body gives me high meaning in life. Dont know how psychedelics could undermine these, they even raise my meaning more the more I take

Edited August 11, 2023 by OBEler

[Sincerity]

10 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@Sincerity can you elaborate? 

I feel like psychedelic use has made me care less about many pursuits I previously had. Like Leo said: even the stuff I didn't really want undermined. This has resulted in confusion and struggle for me. Not having the drive to do stuff which I knew would be worthwhile for me, it was just too pointless and "whatever".

I'm sure psychedelics weren't the only factor and it's all complicated of course (some things I'm more motivated towards now). But yeah I think this is one potential downside to psychedelics: losing meaning and not caring that much anymore.

It's a blessing and a curse.

Edited August 11, 2023 by Sincerity