How to bring a loved one onto the road of forgiveness, healing, and enlightnment....

[Dr Palmer Aldritch]

Hi All.

First, I want to say how grateful I am that I found Actualized.  I have been devouring the material, plus a lot of books that are definitely aiding some sort of rise in my consciousness.  So, I met my wife 7 years ago, and out love was fairly immediate.  I took a gainfully employed job after 5 years of being treated like dirt in graduate school.  We bought a house, had a kid.  My wife's boss was an awful persona and a bully, and my boss was too.  She was alternately lazy and narssicistic, she didn't care a whit for my time, and was frequently a bully.  No matter, I was grateful to have finally clawed my way out of shit pay purgatory.  Trump gets elected, I lose my job within 6 months because he took 20% of the DOI budget and gave it to the DoD, because the DoD can clearly never have enough money.  I was the highest paid contractor, and we were told to not mention the climate in pretty much any situation.  I knew I was fuct because a big part of our study was climate.  So I lose my job.  With a new house.  My wife had quit her career because her boss refused to extend her maternity leave.  To make matters worse, Trump put a hiring freeze across the DOI so there was really nowhere for me to go.  So here we are with a new house, and a new baby, no income, and my obliterated career.  We rent the house in New Mexico, and we move to NW Iowa, where Trump is extremely popular, but my wife gets a decent job there..  The universe can be such a cruel bastard.  Both my parents, my sister, and my wife's family are all Trump supporters.  You can see how utterly enraging all this is for me.  I had a long history of meditation, and some spiritual inquiry, but not a ton.  But of course, I regress pretty hard at this point.  Trump shouldn't have ever been within a million miles of the Presidency, but here I am, with a family of brainwashed yokels, a destroyed career, and a long history of bullying scumbags trampling my face while my life turns to shit.  It was too much.  After basically losing my mind as a stay at home dad, I eventually get my shit together and decide (for better or worse) to go to medical school.  I move BACK into the house in NM, we rent our Iowa house, and my wife gets another job in an even Trumpier place in Snowflake Arizona.  All this, during the pandemic.  My wife's work situation turns out to be super toxic and shitty, (because, of course), so she quits and moves back into the house with the kids.  

At this time, I am a 4th year med student.  I have a little bit of breathing room after the shit show that was the first 3 years, and now I'm sinking deep into healing myself.  Actualized, and a few books have been integral here.  I have rekindled my mediation practice.  I'm finally starting to get over the trauma of all of this completely unnecessary nonsense.  I'm figuring out how to reframe things, how to forgive my family of brainwashed yokels.  How to move forward.  We have 2 kids.  My wife is upset, she's been taking care of the two kids.  But not working has been really hard on her, and our marriage.  I'm at a point where I want to help her, I feel that she needs to open her mind in order to move forward.  She's paralyzed in a state of trauma, retrauma, hypervigillance, and rage.  I truly empathize with all that, because I have lived that very thing.  It's interesting:  I feel that I was on a path and then was derailed from it years ago by trauma, but have started to find a way out of it through elevating my consciousness to be able to accept things as they are, and the people in my family as they are.  It has been hard, but I feel that it is starting to pay off.  But my wife, she is stuck.  Caught in a loop that is closed.  I want to help her, I want to pry open her third eye a bit or at least open her mind to possibilities so she can move forward from all of the absurd bullshit that has so deeply affected us and our nuclear family so acutely.  So, I have a question.  How can I help her to find that path of elevating her consciousness so that she can get out of her rut?  I feel that this is extremely important.  Both my wife and I grew up in households with mentally ill parents.  If there is one thing I want to achieve in life it's to give my two kids better than we got.  It's touchy though.  You can't make anyone be open minded.  Can't make them start to engage.  She is pretty rooted in materialism.  I'll take any advice on how to proceed here.

Another question that I have that's completely off topic.  Is there anything to chakras.  Clearly, the 3rd eye opening is a real thing.  But the others?  I'm just curious if they should be taken seriously, and if so, where to I find out what they are about and how to utilze them.

 

All the best,

D  

[Holykael]

Don't force spirituality on your wife. If she's materialist she won't resonate with anything you say. If it is in her destiny to awaken she will otherwise let it be. I tried to enlighten people around me and it just doesn't work. They are heavily programmed by the matrix. As for your situation. God is running the show. Whatever needs to happen will happen, accept what is and be at peace.

[Jowblob]

16 minutes ago, Holykael said:

Don't force spirituality on your wife. If she's materialist she won't resonate with anything you say. If it is in her destiny to awaken she will otherwise let it be. I tried to enlighten people around me and it just doesn't work. They are heavily programmed by the matrix. As for your situation. God is running the show. Whatever needs to happen will happen, accept what is and be at peace.

This, only by the will of god she can raise in consciousness and you too.  If she had no previous interest in psychology/god/spirituality/phylosophy/consciousness  she can only be awaken by her destiny to follow the path of consciousness/love and understanding. 

If she has interest in raising her consciousness, then you have a lot of work to do and preparation. The fastest way is to reprogram your ego and give it a lot of knowledge to hold on, this means learning a lot of information from books. For example David hawkins transcending the limits of consciousness. If after reading this book you both didn't understand much this will mean that you have atleast 2years work to do in reading different books on spirituality/consciousness learning about different consciousness experiences like mahasamadhi and so on. Then after 2 years take lsd-p1 to progress the path towards reprogramming love/connection and understanding. But you both will probably not do that as your destiny is already set by yourself. It's not in gods will to make people raise in consciousness all the time and it has to do with balance.so most likely her or you or both will be stuck to your karma

[Carl-Richard]

Be an example of what you want her to be, and over time, she might directly ask you what's up.

[Breakingthewall]

@Dr Palmer Aldritch

man, respect to you.  You are in the war, in the trenches where the bullets whistle and the shells fall. I can see that you are a guy who does not give up and who knows that there is only one way out: forward. I know what it's like to come from a family of mental illness, insanity and trauma. You have a beautiful enigma in front of you, and you have to solve it completely.

For me what has worked is, fight, go ahead, to the maximum, polish yourself and believe in your instinct. 

[Buck Edwards]

Ask her funky questions. Teach her regular contemplations. Mostly try to do things yourself first and she will pick the lead. 

Yes chakra healing is absolutely real. 

 

[SeaMonster]

6 hours ago, Dr Palmer Aldritch said:

How can I help her to find that path of elevating her consciousness so that she can get out of her rut?  I feel that this is extremely important.  Both my wife and I grew up in households with mentally ill parents.  If there is one thing I want to achieve in life it's to give my two kids better than we got.  It's touchy though.  You can't make anyone be open minded.  Can't make them start to engage.  She is pretty rooted in materialism.  I'll take any advice on how to proceed here.

Unhappiness is the gap between reality and expectations.

It's easier to lower one's expectations than to achtualize them.  Gratitude is an underrated factor in any spiritual awakening process.  

In the very least, with such a mindset, progress becomes icing on the cake.

Edited August 11, 2023 by SeaMonster