Huge struggle with honesty

[Yimpa]

@Lila9 Thank you. It’s all necessary for my growth, and I wouldn’t be where I am now without going through the experiences. And I continue to grow with you all, in both direct and mysterious ways 

—

I remember being deathly afraid of roller coasters as a kid, so I actively avoided them. Yet, another uncle of mine “forced” me to do it, unplanned when we were at an amusement park.

It happened to be one of the most thrill seeking rides in the entire world - El Toro. When we got to the top of the hill, I screamed to him “I love you”, and then we all fell to our death.  He still remembers that moment I uttered those words (words I’ve never told him prior).

Ever since then, I’ve been able to go on any roller coaster and have a great time. It’s truly amazing what’s possible when we face our fears head on - whether it be in the moment or decades later.

Edited August 13, 2023 by Yimpa

[Inliytened1]

On 8/5/2023 at 11:17 PM, Buck Edwards said:

I have struggled a lot with honesty. I suffered too much because of it. I keep reminding myself that authenticity and honesty can go a long way in improving myself. But my fear of people's judgement comes first and blocks my honesty. Then I go back into a vicious cycle of manipulation, lies and deception where I'm deceptive to those who are close to me. This causes a rift in my relationships both professionally and personally. 

I have tried to break this cycle but I'm unsuccessful. 

 

This will come in time after you see how your dishonesty will cause you much suffering and pain in your life.  Eventually realize that only Truth and honesty will give you peace and liberation - and your level of dishonesty will drop significantly to where you will find it hard to lie or be deceitful at all - because you will know that it is not your true being.  Your true being is Truth itself.  It will just happen naturally.

[Applegarden8]

On 8/6/2023 at 7:17 AM, Buck Edwards said:

I have struggled a lot with honesty. I suffered too much because of it. I keep reminding myself that authenticity and honesty can go a long way in improving myself. But my fear of people's judgement comes first and blocks my honesty. Then I go back into a vicious cycle of manipulation, lies and deception where I'm deceptive to those who are close to me. This causes a rift in my relationships both professionally and personally. 

I have tried to break this cycle but I'm unsuccessful. 

 

It is tricky. I think just saying less is a good option in general. Sometimes you do need to interfere and without asking, defend your values and so on. But this is not a lot of times, at least in my experience. In job, it's better to be more honest, authentic and vulnerable, I have jad great success in this field, but you cannot be totally honest. Remember that you are going to take risks and blind decisions, make mistakes and hope they will not influence what you are doing. So no need to throw yourself under the bus also, but then you also have to evaluate what is important to tell, and you don't really know at times at what point what is important to warn about. But in long term, honesty is better overall, even though it will hurt more. In personal life, well difficult. You can always not tell everything, switch the topic, gaslight people and so on which I don't encourage. But you can't really tell them what you really think about their behavior and their problems, MOST of the time they are not even listening to you, not even interested or open to other people's opinions, not even looking for help, did not even ask you for advice or help even though it is visible they have some kind of a problem. Or they will overreact, will take revenge on you and so on, so you kinda have to estimate if they are ready to be told something or even ask them, if they want to even know your opinion. My solution was to spend a lot of time by myself. I will be lying if I said that I am honest, but I kinda am, though I am very selective when I open my mouth. Be careful and stay strong.