When infinity just becomes stupid

[Holykael]

I am letting go of the idea that this is "my" life because if its all predetermined, I don't know really have a say in it. The illusory sense of free will has been desintegrated and sometimes my body behaves really unexpectedly. And lately really stupid things have been happening that to be honest are a mockery of this life, a completely disrespectful joke and lack of care from the creator.

I walk into walls like an NPC and keep walking towards the wall in place or my body will walk into a corner and I'll just stand there standing unable to move for long periods of time. Sometimes I make weird lovecraftian movements with my body and weird sounds. Sometimes I go apeshit in my bed twisting myself into unfathomable positions for no reason at all. Sometimes im just laying and my body will make slow motion movements that hurt me from keeping my arms up. This is my life now, a complete joke. Forget having a girlfriend or expecting to build a career or anything like that. I'm at the hands of a madman and there's no telling what the plan is. I have 0 freedom.

This leaves no doubt that the cancerous god really intends to manifest all of infinity no matter how stupid or painful and torturous. I don't know how anyone can defend this. In fact it's a delusion to say anyone, there's no one else here after all. You guys are the cancerous god speaking to me and you aren't on my side no matter how ridiculous, painful or excruciating my situation gets.

I also saw a post on reddit about someone breaking through on dmt into a world made of poop. That's definitely a worthy creation. I also saw a guy that burned completely and he had no eyes, no nose and a Frankensteinish shaped mouth, he survived being burned alive and now lives with blindness and severe disability. How anyone can live like that? Only because god predetermines everything and nobody is actually doing any action.

[Holykael]

look what god did to this guy...

 

[toasty7718]

Are you okay?

[jdc7733]

Stop focusing so much on what God wants and just open your mind to what you can experience. You will get nowhere by just trying to see the evil in God. There could've an infinite number of things God wants for you next.

[effortlesslumen]

 Start looking for the content not the structure. No inaction now. Dont be the dreamer who ignores every detail and gets crushed by the elements. Analyse whats happening, reality based variables, forget god for a moment. Also look inside for fucks sake you are always pointing your finger saying god is doing this there and makes something over there. God has become a depiction of a pinata for you.   You act like its your first time experiencing hardship and now you already wanna give up  dont you wanna know where the other option leads.  "I have 0 freedom" and you want to accept this believe? Spark your ego,it seems like you still need it.  Work to resolve your problems and your awnsers will come. 

1 hour ago, Holykael said:

You guys are the cancerous god speaking to me and you aren't on my side no matter how ridiculous, painful or excruciating my situation gets.

I was dragged through a mental hell with similar shit happening. Im gratefull now i love exsistence more than ever before in this lifetime. Its okay to be angry at god let all that emotions out he can take it. 

Best regards, the cancerous god who doesnt stop wasting his time for your sake.

 

Edited August 5, 2023 by effortlesslumen

[Leo Gura]

@Holykael I understand you are deeply unhappy with life but you need to stop masturbating to this toxic negativity. You just keep reinforcing it in your mind every day for months. This will end very badly for you if you do not stop. Please change your thinking patterns. Stop feeding the negativity. It is impossible to live that way. Stop thinking about negative things. Stop. You need to find small bit of positive things and focus on those. Slowly you will start to feel better and heal.

Please start to notice how you are creating this negativity. Take responsibility for doing it. Don't blame God for it.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Buck Edwards]

You have to look at things differently. You have deep suffering. Heal from it. Life is still worth living despite the challenges. 

It doesn't matter if it's predestined or not. A lot depends on how you take it. 

[bensenbiz]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Holykael I understand you are deeply unhappy with life but you need to stop masturbating to this toxic negativity. You just keep reinforcing it in your mind every day for months. This will end very badly for you if you do not stop. Please change your thinking patterns. Stop feeding the negativity. It is impossible to live that way. Stop thinking about negative things. Stop. You need to find small bit of positivw things and focus on those. Slowly you will start to feel better and heal.

wow hearing a "please" from you is pretty refreshing. Hope nobody hacked your account? ;p

to @Holykael I have already responded to you multiple times in various threads that you've created. I am concerned about your health and would welcome the opportunity to have a call with you, but I suspect that goes against forum guidelines. What I'm trying to express is that I genuinely care for you. Perhaps this is a positive aspect? I truly want only the best for you. Consider me a "part of God" who loves and appreciates you. Remember, everything is in the mind; you are still within a relative domain and your thoughts will shape your reality. Why not try being kind to yourself? You'll likely find it rewarding.

[Leo Gura]

@Holykael take @bensenbiz up on that call offer.

We need to get you turned around or you will lose access to post here soon. This is the time to act and make a change. We cannot allow you to endlessly post negativity day after day for months. This is a forum about self-improvement. Show us that you have a desire to change and grow.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Hojo]

If you hand control over to a demon you are going to be one of those people who kill someone because the devil made you do it.

This is typical demon behavior make someone think they aren't in control by spamming thoughts of negativity and then they think they are the thoughts when they aren't and then you lose yourself to the thoughts eventually you surrender your body to them and you are not on control at that point. You need to get a grip and stop believing this shit. Be positive you are not your thoughts they come from something else don't let it make you think you are not in control its playing a mind game with you you can stop it. Let the thoughts play out but just ignore them don't react to them just say ok and move on. You are handing your free will over to something that isn't you and you don't want that.

Anytime a thought lower your mood or scare you don't fight with it ignore it.anytime a thought brighten your mood say that is beautiful 

Think of it like that kings servant in lotr who whispers into his ear and he's lost all his life force

Edited August 5, 2023 by Hojo

[bensenbiz]

8 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

@Holykael take @bensenbiz up on that call offer.

We need to get you turned around or you will lose access to post here soon. This is the time to act and make a change. We cannot allow you to endlessly post negativity day after day for months. This is a forum about self-improvement. Show us that you have a desire to change and grow.

I appreciate the authorization. I have an idea! ( I know could carry a significant amount of risk (such as cult-like behavior or members drifting away from the forum), but could we perhaps organize group calls occasionally? Such calls could be extremely beneficial for someone in a challenging situation. If your concern is losing users, which is a valid worry, I'd like to mention that I'm an IT entrepreneur with advanced coding skills. I could create something native to the forum, allowing us to have occasional calls when the need arises.

[Leo Gura]

@bensenbiz Sorry, I cannot commit to managing that. And such a thing would require constant oversight from me.

I expend too much energy on managing this forum as it is.

Edited August 5, 2023 by Leo Gura

[OBEler]

@bensenbiz

5 years of talk therapy is sometimes needed for some people here to cure their victim mentality. A Phone call would be not enough

[bensenbiz]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

10 minutes ago, OBEler said:

@bensenbiz

5 years of talk therapy is sometimes needed for some people here to cure their victim mentality. A Phone call would be not enough

I don‘t have any expectations, even a 0.01% increase on positivity  would be a huge success. You have to start somewhere and I would have tried at least. 

[Ima Freeman]

13 hours ago, Holykael said:

I am letting go of the idea that this is "my" life because if its all predetermined, I don't know really have a say in it. The illusory sense of free will has been desintegrated and sometimes my body behaves really unexpectedly.

13 hours ago, Holykael said:

How anyone can live like that? Only because god predetermines everything and nobody is actually doing any action.

I had this deterministic, non-doership thoughts lately too.
Seriously, it feels like creation is doing my actions and I am just able to watch them.
They are very frustrating for me. I understand that they make you feel bad, but that might only be a necessary phase. 

I'm not saying that it is this way ultimately, but how to disprove them, if every doing is so unfathomably rich and complex, that they can not be created by a human?

[Razard86]

13 hours ago, Hojo said:

If you hand control over to a demon you are going to be one of those people who kill someone because the devil made you do it.

This is typical demon behavior make someone think they aren't in control by spamming thoughts of negativity and then they think they are the thoughts when they aren't and then you lose yourself to the thoughts eventually you surrender your body to them and you are not on control at that point. You need to get a grip and stop believing this shit. Be positive you are not your thoughts they come from something else don't let it make you think you are not in control its playing a mind game with you you can stop it. Let the thoughts play out but just ignore them don't react to them just say ok and move on. You are handing your free will over to something that isn't you and you don't want that.

Anytime a thought lower your mood or scare you don't fight with it ignore it.anytime a thought brighten your mood say that is beautiful 

Think of it like that kings servant in lotr who whispers into his ear and he's lost all his life force

Devils only tempt you, and torture you when you allow their temptations to manifest into actions against an other. But demons are also angels of light that will lead you to salvation, which is just redemption of the Self and an awakening to what the Self is. The Scriptures that only reveal devils as only the shadow and the darkness but withold away its light is an incomplete teaching and a bastardation of how evil/darkness actually works. Darkness/evil is always in service to GOODNESS whether it realizes it or not.

[KatiesKarma]

I dont really understand your problem. You can now choose to think and do either X, Y or Z. Whether or not on the deepest plane of existence that decision is predetermined is irrelevant because it does not feel that way.

Yes there might be a Dimension where everything is literal shit but remember God is infinite intelligence also, we surely wouldnt stay there forever, and we are not there right now either

[Hojo]

Only absolute moron hang out in the dimension of feces are you that person? If not why do you care at all

[Hojo]

@Razard86 thats exactly what hes doing is allowing a demon to coerse him into controlling his body. They will only release you to the light after you do something terrible or make you scared and upset for years to decade then they will be like okay well thanks man you can forgive yourself now. There is an easier way

Edited August 6, 2023 by Hojo

[ZzzleepingBear]

According to your own logic. You are not the one who suffer. God is the one who suffer, since you and God is indistinguishable in your thoughts and actions. Your post is by the same logic Gods post, not really your post.

So what you seem to be saying, is that you don't want God to suffer in the end? Or am I missing something?